Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Usual Challenges

I ate like a pig last night. Sure, a teeny stomached pig, but a pig nonetheless. I remembered the bag of mini chocolate chips that has been in the cabinet for months. I indulged. I ate three sugar free popsicles. I had too much of my protein salad I made yesterday. I had three bagel bites.

When I got the bad news about the house late yesterday afternoon, I immediately wanted a chai creme frappucino from SBUX. I mean, the thought popped into my head immediately. I resisted the urge, but I did laugh to myself about how hard emotional eating is hard-wired into my brain. Laughed, in that sad sort of way.

The good news about the sleeve is that it serves to save me from myself. I can't binge the way I used to when I'm stressed or emotional. But it isn't a magic wand, either - it doesn't take away the same problems that have led to my obesity. This is an ongoing battle I will have to continue to fight, and figure out how to conquer.

The smart thing to do would have been to go to deep water aerobics, as scheduled. There was no reason not to go, and I think I would have felt better. Instead, I just wanted to collapse into my bed and watch tv. It turned out I was also very, very tired, because instead of watching tv, I actually just fell asleep by 8:30 p.m.

I'm not sure what I'll do tonight. It's yoga night, but I am having a problem. My left (dominant) wrist is very sore. I don't recall any specific injury in yoga on Sunday, and I don't usually have problems with my wrists. When I was practicing yoga years ago, I never had problems with my wrists. But this week, my wrist has gotten progressively more sore over the course of the week. I bought a brace for it on Monday, and this morning I'm thinking about stopping at the drug store looking for some of that Arctic Ease cold temperature wrap.

I don't know if I'm going to yoga tonight. The practice is a routine, and I can't imagine how to cut out the downward dog/plank pose/cobra pose, etc. that involve all my weight on the wrist.

I'm feeling a little defeated today. I have looked at rental houses in this neighborhood since 2007 and that was hands down my favorite house. They are hard to come by, and when they come available, there is a lot of competition. It would have been so perfect for my family. I do believe something better is out there - whether it's a three-bedroom unit in my complex (all units are privately owned) that will not be such a stretch in rent; or another home - something will come up. Soon I will be feeling very optimistic about it all again, but last night and today are kind of stinkers.

Anyway, to get myself feeling strong again, I've challenged myself to do *two* forty flight runs today, an AM and a PM. I will invite my friend to join me, and she might, since she's out of the office tomorrow. I decided that whether I attend yoga or not, if I accomplish two long stair runs today, I will be moving toward feeling empowered again!


  1. Doing Yoga (in the privacy of my own home this morning), I noticed Tony telling me to adjust my wrists any way that worked for a couple of poses. "Whatever works for you..." I hope you decide to give it a shot tonight...