Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Oh my, I gained every last ounce of my weight back today. Or so it felt. I just feel fat, fat, fat. It was the worst day ever!

This is actually a good thing - although it is hard to say that right now. It's a good thing, because yesterday I felt great and wonderful and inspired and ON MY WAY.

Today, I feel like crap. It's 180 degrees from yesterday. The lesson here is that I will have these days, and they can come on unexpectedly, and, like everything else, this too shall pass.

The day started out great. The kids are on spring break, so the nanny is coming early and my mornings are a breeze. Just get myself out the door, and done! Yay!

But I got a call less than an hour after I started. My 10-year-old had a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. You have no idea how we have battled nosebleeds with this child. And he gets gnarly ones - he has even bled out his eyes many times. Needless to say, they are near-hysteria inducing for him.

So. Never mind the fact that we have taken him to the doctor and even the ER a million times for nosebleeds and nothing can be done. Never mind the fact that he was signed up for expensive paintball camp today and has been looking forward to it for weeks. Never mind the fact that I have no vacation or sick leave time at work.

He was ADAMANT that I come home and take him to a doctor. His stress level was just absolutely through the roof.

Sigh. I left work, called the ENT and begged to be seen, came home and picked him up while the nanny took the other two to the YMCA to work out. Thankfully, the ENT said he would cauterize some blood vessels that are very close to the surface of the skin. He also put my son on antibiotics to treat a possible sinus infection that may be making things worse.

So my son spent the day in pain and miserable and worried. I spent the day consoling him. And it is pouring down rain, and my son is perfecting the sick-man/baby attitude that will undoubtedly drive his poor wife insane. And telling my five year old not to roughhouse or wrestle his older brother is like telling him not to breath all day. And OMG could this tiny townhouse be ANY SMALLER?

I am a claustrophobic mess. And I feel fat, very fat. My period is RAGING - oh hello, has it been two weeks already??? I am not even one who usually craves chocolate during my period, but today I had to make a specific trip into the drugstore. Yay me for not succumbing to my original goal of INHALING a bag of Hershey's candy coated eggs (the bane of my existence this time of year) but instead trying a mere *two* sugar-free mini Reese's peanut butter cups! Yum, by the way. Satiated my craving and didn't make me feel like a failure. Did not even backhand said 10-year-old who said, sweetly, "mom you just had weight loss surgery, you shouldn't eat candy." Sigh.

No exercise. No sanity. Just me, a whiny/injured/scared boy, a wild out-of-control-mom's-home-let's-rock-the-Casbah boy, and my 12-year-old (no complaints here today, haha). Living out my dream of being the little old woman who lived in a shoe, so many children she didn't know what to do...

Better day, tomorrow. Better be. :) And I couldn't have really gained 49.9999999 pounds overnight, right? Right?

p.s. And I am very sad because I signed up for deep water aerobics last night and was *so* looking forward to going again tomorrow night. But my ex is out of town (his second of three vacations in three months - ahem - child support, anyone?) and I'm covering his days with the kids. I forgot my middle guy has an appointment tomorrow evening that would break his heart to miss. So I will have to miss water aerobics, which will break my heart. :( I think I'll pop a few vitamin Ds tonight and pray for a little relief tomorrow!

1 comment:

  1. ***HUG***
    I think days like this were invented so we appreciate the good one (and the ones where we lose!!) so much more.
    It HAS to be a better day tomorrow...you can only go up from here!!