Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Tracking Food and Exercise

Totals 745 43 51 36
Your Daily Goal 1,846 138 61 184
Remaining 1,101 95 10 148

Calories Carbs Fat Protein

Totals 1,026 68 44 52
Your Daily Goal 1,264 94 42 126
Remaining 238 26 -2 74

Calories Carbs Fat Protein

I have been using the last couple days. I love it - I love that I am ready to track my eating, one of my very most least favoritest activities in the world. I have battled this every time I tried Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, etc. I'm a "wing it" kind of girl. You see how well that works for me, hahaha.

Anyway, I like the tracker. Above are my summaries for the last couple days. I am perplexed by the "net calories" recommendation. I put in a goal of 600 calories/day. When I exercise, it "gives" me extra calories I am urged to eat that day - and still lose weight! I have a hard time believing I should eat 1800 calories today. It is all quite overwhelming.

Today, I did fall short of the 60 grams of protein I am supposed to get. I was going to drink a protein shake, but my calories are already a little high at 745 and I am trying to keep myself out of the kitchen because the grissini breadsticks are calling my name. "Oooooo, have some crunchy carbs! It's bedtime, you know you're hungry!" ;)

OMG - my landlord - the wife this time, called me this morning to tell me they would not let me out of my lease early and will not let me rent month to month until I find something. Basically reversed everything her husband said last week. You can imagine my stress level is through. the. roof. I need to find a house - soon - but not too soon, exactly the right soon, and even though the market is super competitive, I need to be the one chosen to rent the perfect house. Please.

Don't Think I Didn't Notice

That the IUD was removed Thursday, and by the following Wednesday, I lost three pounds. Hrm. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! :) (said very dramatically)

Or maybe it is. One never knows. But I am not one to stop and question the pounds that have chosen to melt away, "What exactly is your motivation for leaving? What was the deciding factor?" Either way, I am happy, happy, happy. That's 56 pounds baby, and the now-traditional five pound image:

Yeah, baby. Melt, melt away, little excess pounds. You are inching me ever closer to several major milestones:
- Being under 200 pounds
- Being halfway to goal
- Dropping into the next BMI category

I just couldn't be more excited! Last night I went to a volunteer appreciation dinner and got lots of nice compliments on my weight loss (and my hair, hahaha). I got a few, "I didn't recognize you!"s too. A very nice evening.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Buh-lieve It, My Belly Changed

Oh, and not for the better! In just the last couple days, my abdomen looks different. More...flumpy. Squishy. Hmm, not attractive, but definitely noticeable, to me, anyway. Just clothes not looking the same.

I will call this "deflation of the distended abdomen caused by Mirena." Ew. Isn't that CRAZY? It's noticeably different, I tell you.

When it comes to the effects of the Mirena IUD on my body, there are two key things about me that are relevant here: 1) I am soooo unobservant. Don't hire me to be your private eye. 2) I am not a conspiracy theorist. So when I do something like, oh, get an IUD, I am not exactly thinking, "wow, I am inexplicably gaining a lot of weight," or "hmm, why did I just start losing all this hair," or "hmm, I sure am a stark raving bitch, I wonder why?" And when I review all these websites complaining about side effects of the Mirena, I have a big part of me that says, "oh, you're just blaming xx on the IUD."

'Cept when I look at the complaints, I am just so struck by things that have affected me since getting the IUD. I *am* a stark raving bitch (oh gosh, only to the people I love most in the world, don't worry, yeesh). I have experienced hair loss for years, and I have always been the first one to tell you that while I have some bad eating habits, I didn't have 263 pounds of bad eating habits. Except for my lifelong battle with nighttime eating, I have never been one to eat all that often or all that much. Poor food choices, sure. Too much eating out, too big of portions at dinner, too much eating before bed. That's what got me fat. Oh, and no exercise. Mirena may have played a hand in it, too, but I wouldn't have noticed because...well, I don't notice.

Have I ever told you that I drove myself to the emergency room in the middle of the night for horrible stomach cramps, diarrhea and vomiting, only to be fine once I checked in? Like, completely and utterly fine? Or how I assumed that the fondue restaurant gave me food poisoning not once, but twice? Uh, a few years later I figured out I was lactose intolerant. And I didn't figure it out until a good friend said, hey dipshit, you're lactose intolerant. So I guess I didn't figure it out at all, haha.

Anyway, there are a litany of complaints of side effects of the IUD and I have, oh, probably 3/4 of them. I am so INTRIGUED to see how things change for me now that I've had it out. And am paying attention.

Weight this morning is 209.2 so maybe things will start happening on the scale again. I started using yesterday and plan to track my food and exercise like a mad woman. I am always reluctant to track food, but now have found the motivation and expect it to stick with me. If you're on the site, add me as a friend! I'm 'freejulie' there, too.

Hmm, also on the IUD front, I am still emulating a stuck pig. :|

Monday, April 25, 2011

Workout Plan for the Week / Recap of Last Week

Last week:
Sunday - 90 minutes vinyasa yoga, making up for last week
Monday - 40 flights in a row = 800 stairs
Tuesday - 800 contiguous stairs :)
Wednesday - 800 stairs
Thursday - 800 stairs, 90 minutes vinyasa yoga
Friday - 5x240 stairs (was by myself that day)
Saturday - nada

This week:
Monday - 800 stairs
Tuesday - 800 stairs
Wednesday - 800 stairs, 1 hour deep water aerobics
Thursday - 800 stairs, 90 min vinyasa yoga
Friday - 800 stairs

I'm struggling with the evening classes on nights I have the kids. I think I will think of the classes as a way to get my butt motivated, but not a long-term workout plan for me. As it stands, I am missing half the water aerobic classes, it is just not worth the expense! Oh well, live and learn. I am enjoying the classes and getting a lot out of them when I can make it.

My weight is 210.3, so I am holding steady. I am experiencing what I found online is called the "Mirena Crash," effects of removing the IUD. I'm glad I took it out - I guess I must be very sensitive to the hormones. On Saturday, I felt very weepy out of the blue - just driving home, in the sun. I have been super, super tired and unmotivated this weekend. I'm glad to get back to work to force my butt to keep moving. Basically, this weekend, I adhered to my plans: movie with a friend Saturday, "9 to 5" theater performance yesterday. Other than that, my butt was stuck to the couch.

And eating. My appetite has been out of control - I am really struggling with nighttime eating, and eating to overfullness. I am not sure why I am so hard-wired to do this! I always struggle with nighttime eating, but since the IUD removal I think the hormones play into it a bit. I have been wanting CHOCOLATE, and sweets. I almost never crave chocolate or even sweets. The battle makes me very unhappy, because it's my same old patterns, albeit on a much different scale. But I will eat to fullness, have regret, then allow some time to pass and eat again. Last night it was salami and crispy breadsticks, then later artichoke hearts. It's not *what* I'm eating, or how much (since I really can't eat much). What upsets me is the a) feeling of loss of control, b) repeating behaviors that made me obese, c) eating when not hungry - I think it's emotional, but I can't figure out what emotion is driving it (e.g. no particular terrible things going on).

Still bleeding heavily - I *pray* this doesn't go on for six weeks like last time. I genuinely feel like I've been on my period since I had my surgery. I am utterly exhausted with it. I have gotten lax with taking my pills and my vitamins and I need to get back on it! I don't think it's a coincidence that I am feeling so tired and run down. Or, if it is all related to the IUD, for instance, if I were taking the damn pills, at least I would know that for sure!

Oh - on a good note, I was largely impervious to Easter candy this year! :) There are a couple that are a major weakness for me, but I didn't pay them no mind this year, and I'm glad for it!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Nest Stress

Ah, you know it was a tough week - not getting that house we wanted. So imagine how my stress level shot up when I saw my own *current* townhouse that I *actually live in now* listed on craigslist yesterday! OMG.

Apparently, my landlord did not get my message or text that I did not get the house. They listed the condo on craigslist - for more than $100/month than I pay now. I called him in a panic yesterday afternoon. He said they won't rent it from underneath me, they were sure I got the house (gave the other landlord glowing references). The ad says available June 1st. Thank God I'm on a lease until 6/30 - I am just panicked over the prospect of losing this place before I have found another in the neighborhood.

The landlord says they want to test the waters to see if they get any calls at the higher rent. It seems too high, to me. I don't think they'll get it.

Stress, stress, stress. I was going to spend the day playing in the sun, but I hadn't formulated an actual plan. Instead, I guess I'll do some spring cleaning and move-prep.

Hey, as far as removing the Mirena IUD. It came out Thursday morning. This morning I woke up with my period with a vengeance. A vengeance, I tell you. Hopefully this won't last long, but last time it was a good six weeks. I am using my "iPeriod" app on iPhone to track what's going on. That's a great little app, I tell you! My weight is 210.6. No, really, body, it doesn't hurt my feelings that I am exercising like a mad woman without losing weight - I climbed twelve flights of stairs five times yesterday! Plus yoga and water aerobics and, and, and...

No, it doesn't hurt my feelings. Really. Hrumph. It seems very important to my body that I lose five pounds, then hang out at that weight for a couple weeks, then lose another five pounds, etc. I don't know if I'm sabotaging myself with food (it was kind of a rough eating week, with my sulky bagel bites the night I didn't get the house, and over-snacking at a friend's house last night). At any rate, I'm working on it and will continue to push for results. I am not amused to be doing all this exercise and not dropping pounds - I will find the key to making it work for me.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


I'm so glad I went to yoga tonight. Yes, my wrist hurts like a mf'er, but I had a great time. The instructor told me (after class, when I talked to him) how to modify some poses. I am quickly remembering how much and why I used to love practicing yoga so much. It is very peaceful, it feels very satisfying to get into some of these poses, and it feels good to know you are doing them better than you did the time before.

Back in the day, before my spinal fusion, I used to do quite a bit of yoga. Then I had my spinal fusion and I scared myself off it. I'm glad to be getting into it again. Back then, I set some milestone for myself (attending however many classes) and when I completed it, I bought myself a toe ring. That toe ring always made me smile - I was working very hard at my practice. I'm thinking about earning myself a toe ring again. :)

Anyway, tonight I did the wheel pose - amazing! I had to grab my instructor's ankles, like so. But this pose pretty much addressed every fear and vulnerability I have when it comes to yoga: 1) hurting my spinal fusion, 2) being too fat to lift my weight, 3) looking foolish, 4) hurting my wrist (it did, haha). And I did it anyway!!

I straightened my arms all the way, so I probably looked like a cross between that picture and this one:
Probably, at least in my mind, I looked almost exactly like the P90X girl on the beach. :) Anyway, I am feeling very pleased for going and for doing so well. (Thanks for the nudge, Kim, I'm so glad you did! xoxo)

Cage-Free, Hormone-Free, Free-Julie

Okay, in the tiny townhouse, I still sort of feel caged! But I am hormone free, and IUD-free. Do you want me to tell you I went to the doctor, or do you want me to tell you I yanked that sucker myself? Believe whatever makes you most comfortable. :)

At any rate, thus begins the saga of trying to notice a difference in a hormone-laden, versus an added-hormone-free, uterus. My weight this morning was 210.2, I was only spotting the tiniest bit. Hmm, what else should I track? Mood-wise, I have been feeling really great these days. Dang, exercise is good for me. I feel downright giddy, lots of times. I have been tearing up my facebook page with the most ridiculous (and even risque!) of comments, and being quite the little chatterbox. It feels good to feel good. I hope I don't drive away all my friends with my goofiness. :)

Hmm, mid-section weight and bloating. I will measure my waist, hips and big gut. We'll see how much difference I see in the coming weeks and months.

Oh heck, we'll go ahead and do all the measurements, it looks like it's been awhile.

Dates (1/11/11, 2/26/11, 4/21/11)
Waist 49.5, 44.5, 42.5
Big jelly belly --, --, 48
Hips 49, 43, 42.5
Left arm 17.25, 15.5, 15
Right arm 16.5, 16, 15
Left thigh 27.25, 25, 23.5 (thank you, stairclimbing!)
Right thigh 28, 26, 24
Left calf 18, 16.5, 17 ?
Right calf 18, 16.5, 17 ?
Neck --, 15.75, 15
Around breasts --, 50, 46.5
Under breasts --, 40.5, 38
Anyway, I'm off to yoga class in just a few - I will coddle my wrist and see what I can do without further injury!

Giving the Girls a Lift - and Me, Too!

Okay, what's better than a long walk in the sunshine with a great friend, and a little shopping thrown in? Definitely good to take a long lunch and rejuvenate the spirit. Plus, we went to Nordstrom, where I was fitted and got myself a new bra! New bra days are always happy, uplifting days!

And yay, I'm a 38G! Haha, well, yeah to the 38 part - even my last bra that I bought was a 40H, and I had to eek myself into that. So that was...a month and a half ago. I remember I had just bought my new bra right before my two month surgery anniversary date. Yay me! Plus, the Nordstrom lady said I'd be a 38F in any other brand, but this brand ran bigger. It's the brand that starts with a "W," I always want to say "Wachovia," but I think that's a bank. I always buy that brand when I get bras at Nordstrom, even though I also buy bras at Lane Bryant.

At my thinnest, I was a 32C - a very full C. The Nordstrom lady congratulated me on my weight loss and preserving the fullness and roundness of my boobies, haha. I am hoping to regain the full C size again - I have great breasts, but holy kamoly they are big and heavy!

So this was a fun shopping trip. We went to the Gap, where I very very nearly fit a cute XL top, but I didn't buy it. It was close - my friend and I agreed I could actually wear it now, but it was not an ideal fit. And I usually wear my tops pretty loose, anyway. I'll wait until I can fit into the regular store sizes cleanly before I start shelling out the dough.

Oh, since today's payday, I set up next month's rent to electronically transfer and stashed $500 in another account to start practicing for the higher rent.

The Usual Challenges

I ate like a pig last night. Sure, a teeny stomached pig, but a pig nonetheless. I remembered the bag of mini chocolate chips that has been in the cabinet for months. I indulged. I ate three sugar free popsicles. I had too much of my protein salad I made yesterday. I had three bagel bites.

When I got the bad news about the house late yesterday afternoon, I immediately wanted a chai creme frappucino from SBUX. I mean, the thought popped into my head immediately. I resisted the urge, but I did laugh to myself about how hard emotional eating is hard-wired into my brain. Laughed, in that sad sort of way.

The good news about the sleeve is that it serves to save me from myself. I can't binge the way I used to when I'm stressed or emotional. But it isn't a magic wand, either - it doesn't take away the same problems that have led to my obesity. This is an ongoing battle I will have to continue to fight, and figure out how to conquer.

The smart thing to do would have been to go to deep water aerobics, as scheduled. There was no reason not to go, and I think I would have felt better. Instead, I just wanted to collapse into my bed and watch tv. It turned out I was also very, very tired, because instead of watching tv, I actually just fell asleep by 8:30 p.m.

I'm not sure what I'll do tonight. It's yoga night, but I am having a problem. My left (dominant) wrist is very sore. I don't recall any specific injury in yoga on Sunday, and I don't usually have problems with my wrists. When I was practicing yoga years ago, I never had problems with my wrists. But this week, my wrist has gotten progressively more sore over the course of the week. I bought a brace for it on Monday, and this morning I'm thinking about stopping at the drug store looking for some of that Arctic Ease cold temperature wrap.

I don't know if I'm going to yoga tonight. The practice is a routine, and I can't imagine how to cut out the downward dog/plank pose/cobra pose, etc. that involve all my weight on the wrist.

I'm feeling a little defeated today. I have looked at rental houses in this neighborhood since 2007 and that was hands down my favorite house. They are hard to come by, and when they come available, there is a lot of competition. It would have been so perfect for my family. I do believe something better is out there - whether it's a three-bedroom unit in my complex (all units are privately owned) that will not be such a stretch in rent; or another home - something will come up. Soon I will be feeling very optimistic about it all again, but last night and today are kind of stinkers.

Anyway, to get myself feeling strong again, I've challenged myself to do *two* forty flight runs today, an AM and a PM. I will invite my friend to join me, and she might, since she's out of the office tomorrow. I decided that whether I attend yoga or not, if I accomplish two long stair runs today, I will be moving toward feeling empowered again!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

We Didn't Get the House

Sigh. What bad news. It's pretty much what I figured, given how long it was taking to hear back from the owner. I figured they were negotiating a lease with someone else and we would be their back-up plan.

I am crushed. The kids are going to be crushed. At least now I know my current landlord will allow me to lease month to month while I continue looking - that is a big plus. I didn't want to lock myself into another long lease.
Hi Julie,

It saddens me to inform you that we have decided to rent the house to another family. From the many families who were interested in the house, we only considered your family and another family's application. Both of you had excellent references and stable income. This was the first time we had two potential tenants that we really liked and believed would be a good fit for the house and neighborhood. In the end, we had to make difficult decision.

I am sorry to be the source of bad news and I am confident that you will find another home in Newport neighborhood.

Yes, it's a nice email, but I don't want to hear it. I am crushed, and PISSED. There will be other places.

Hormonal Musings about the Mirena IUD

A friend told me yesterday that with rapid weight loss, the Mirena IUD can become less effective. She thought it was due to the device shifting in the uterus, but I haven't seen a lot of information online about it. What I have seen is a lot of women complaining about a lot of things that I also experience.

Now, I've had three Mirena IUDs. I had one place right after my ten-year-old was born. Five years later, I had it replaced. A year after that, I yanked that sucker when I was suffering from a lot of cramping. Sometime last spring, I had another one placed.

I'm resolute in my desire to not have more children. I would happily have my tubes tied, but the appeal of the Mirena IUD is the lack of periods. I like not having periods! 'Cept...I'm having a lot of periods. Bah. Since surgery, I'm cycling pretty rapidly, and when I'm not on my period, I'm spotting.

This would wear off, I would think. I know with rapid weight loss, they say your hormones are wonky because you store hormones in fat cells. There's more, though. A lot of people online complain about Mirena IUD and hair loss. I have hair loss! I've had it for years. I chalked it up to breastfeeding, to a drug I took for migraines called Topamax, to stress, etc. When I read posts online about weight loss surgery and hair loss, I've wondered, well, does it get worse, or is this already what I'm suffering from?

There's more. I read a lot about women complaining about mid-section bloating and the Mirena IUD. For awhile, I took a prescription water pill because I just felt so damn bloaty. I never noticed much of a difference from the water pills. And women say that their stomach is basically distended with the IUD.

My friend and I were just talking about how I'm losing weight disproportionately: it's very noticeable in my face, neck, chest, breasts, legs, butt...and not so much around my apple-shaped mid-section. Sure, it's changed a lot, but not proportionate to the rest of my weight loss. And sure, it is just my body shape, and I have a lot of weight left to lose.

But isn't it interesting to wonder about how much the continuous hormones might be affecting me? I went through a similar process last summer when I stopped taking antidepressants. I had been off and on them for years, but finally got to a sad, flat state that made me wonder, "how much is me, and how much is the medication?" All these months later, I have to say I'm so delighted I stopped taking them! I feel much, much better.

Ugh, I hate having periods. I know women have endured it, but I am whiny and want to be outside the fray. There's not even anything especially grueling about my cycles. I'm just a baby. But, the good thing about the months that I went without the IUD last year was my cycles evened out and normalized. After a good long six week period, sigh. They think that's what (combined with my every 56-day blood donation) tapped out the iron in my blood, leading me to get all those iron IV infusions.

Anyway. I think I'm going to yank that sucker. Or, as my friend suggested, make an appointment to have a doctor do it. ;) It's a bummer, because that first five year Mirena was SWEET. Since then, it's been downhill.

Also, I'm like the world's worst person for noticing how things I do affect my body. The absolute worst. It took me FOREVER to figure out I was lactose intolerant, and these were some pretty horrible reactions to it. It could well be that an observant person would have notice bloating, mid-section weight gain, hair loss, etc and tied it to the Mirena IUD, oh, I don't know, TEN YEARS AGO.

Or maybe not. I think I'm about to find out.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Nice Hair Cut! Nice Color!

I am at a funny point in my weight loss...fifty-four pounds is so much! I probably couldn't even lift it, let alone carry it. So, I am getting a lot of double takes from people. But I still have so much to lose, I am not sure the weight loss itself is what's jumping out of them. Or maybe it is, but they aren't registering it as such.

What I'm getting, then, is tons of compliments on my hair. ;) Okay, so I started coloring my hair a deep burgundy red (I mix Natural Instincts "Chocolate Creme" with "Cherry Creme" to make my own "Chocolate Covered Cherry" color, haha) last fall. In January, I got my hair cut dramatically, but haven't had it trimmed since.

And I probably get five to ten compliments a day on my hair. :) (I work in a huge building and have been there for 20 years, so I see a lot of people, haha).

It goes like this: someone walks past me. They do a little double-take. Look at me again. "Wow, I love your hair! You look fantastic!"

Or my other favorite, I am walking by someone, attempting to make eye contact. He or she walks past and will either catch my eye, or I'll say hi, or touch their arm. Sort of startled, the person will look at me directly. "Oh, hi! I love your hair!"

It is hysterical. And it is SOOOOOO much fun. I just feel fantastic. :)

Oh, and forgive me for prattling on about my stair climbing. It might not excite me to say, "I did the stair climber at the gym for 15 minutes." But to say, "I climbed 40 flights of stairs this afternoon!" makes me feel like a million bucks! Even though they are practically the same thing. I guess if I got on a stair climber machine I would be thinking those fifteen minutes were pretty damn incredible, too. It is hard work (and takes us nearly 17 minutes, not 15). But I'm doing the stairs, so we all have to put up with me jabbering, "Forty flights! Forty flights!" I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon, but in the meantime, bear with me! ;)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Woohoo, Forty Flights!

Ok, I'm beat today. I did the hard yoga class yesterday morning, my five year old woke me up at 4:00 a.m. ("It's wake up time, mama!") and I couldn't go back to sleep...I'm just beat. We missed our morning stair run today because my friend and I had conflicting back to back meetings.

So this afternoon, we planned to do both our 20+2 additional flight runs. But I was tired, and I was reluctant to make another excuse for why I was climbing so slowly. So the brilliant mind offered up, "let's do forty flights at once!" My friend, in a lapse of good judgment, said, "Okay!"

Whew. We started on the 22nd floor. We agreed to go slowly. We mused about which floors along the route we could escape from if we got tired. We reminded ourselves that every other floor has a defibrillator.

And we did it. Floor 22 to floor 62, then back down to 52. All in 16:55. Faster if I would have remembered that we were timing it and I needed to stop the timer!

This will be the work out for the week, we decided. Next week we'll add additional flights to the 40-at-once-stairclimb. On a bummer note, I forgot to pre-arrange babysitting tonight so I could attend deep water aerobics, and I just found out the babysitter can't stay. :( That's okay, I think I earned the night off!

Workout Plan for the Week / Recap of Last Week

First off, let me say...

GOOD-BYE TO 260s, 250s, 240s, 230s, 220s, and 210s!! Hello, 200s, I can't remember the last time I saw you, but I expect my stay here to be brief!

Workout plan for last week versus actual:

Sunday: nada
Monday: 2x400 stairs (AM and PM run), 2x160 back down, one hour deep water aerobics (DONE and added short walk at lunch)
Tuesday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, walk at lunch (forecast says sun for this one stinking day)
Wednesday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, one hour deep water aerobics
Thursday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, 90 minutes vinyasa yoga
Friday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down
Saturday: nada

I kind of blew some of the work outs - took the elevator back down once because I was late for a meeting, some other reason for taking the elevator back down another time. On Wednesday, I missed deep water aerobics because of a sudden rain storm and major traffic jam. By the time I got to class 15 minutes late, I realized I had forgotten a towel! Missed Thursday's yoga class so I could go look at the house.

This week:

Sunday - 90 minutes vinyasa yoga, making up for last week
Monday - 2x440 stairs (adding two extra flights), 2x200 down, one hour deep water aerobics
Tuesday - 2x440 stairs, 2x200 down
Wednesday - 2x440 stairs, 2x200 down, one hour deep water aerobics
Thursday - 2x440 stairs, 2x200 down, 90 minutes vinyasa yoga
Friday - 2x440 stairs, 2x200 down
Saturday - nada

Sunday, April 17, 2011

There's No Crying in Corpse Pose

Hot yogini.
Whew. I made it through the class. And I didn't think I was going to! First, I made myself late by deciding to hide Easter eggs before I left (the kids will be home soon, but they are with their dad next Sunday, so I decided to do Easter today). Second, Jen at Runner...maybe's first official 10K made me late. The route closed off the streets to my yoga studio! Third, the class started at 9:45, not 9:15 as I thought, so I wasn't late, I had time to chill out and watch the previous class ending.

I go into the studio, I introduce myself to the instructor, and I learn that this is not an intro class, as the schedule says. The schedule changed a month ago but they haven't printed new schedules. He says I am welcome to stay, and just do the best I can.

I am quickly psyched out. The other students are much more advanced, the pace starts very quickly, they are doing poses I don't know. I feel like crying. I wanted so badly to just walk out, not do child's pose as the instructor had suggested if I wanted to take a break. I wanted to GO. But I am not a quitter, and I thought, well, hell, I will just do the very best I can. Who cares if I look stupid? (For some reason, I always imagine the eyes of the class are on me - what an odd thing to think, because if you are absorbed in your own yoga even just a little bit, you know you aren't watching others. Except maybe once in awhile to make sure you have the correct pose going.)

So, I just pressed on. And it was *so hard.* I was exhausted, I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't bendy enough. But I kept pushing the negative thoughts out of my head. I am here to get my work out. At my level, and nothing else matters. And I did. Sure, it wasn't pretty, I skipped many advanced poses, I crapped out early on others.

After class, the woman to my left (to whom I had confessed I thought I was attending my second intro class) told me I did great and she was very impressed (so much for not watching others, haha). The instructor told me I did wonderfully, and I was welcome at the advanced classes any time. I felt like a million bucks.

I cried during corpse pose, I'll admit. The instructor read from Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul. He read July 25th's entry: A Fresh Start. It opened with (paraphrasing) "Sometimes in life it is necessary to make a fresh start. In love, in your may not seem fair, it may seem too difficult to order to become who you want to be, you must make a leap of faith." Of all the days to pick to read out loud today, why July 25th? Such a perfect message for me today, as I'm on the edge of both packing up boxes and calling and withdrawing my application. A sign? Maybe. It spoke to me anyway. (I had another sign on Friday morning, when my car made a mysterious and unhappy "clunk." What would you do if it needed expensive repairs? I thought. The answer was call my dad, haha.)

Tears and sweat ran down my face as I pretended to be dead. I took the kids to see the house on Friday and turned in my application. I'll find out tomorrow if I get it or not. I have agonized over this decision, just agonized, now and for the last year or more. It will be hard, but it needs to be done: for me, for my kids, for my family. I am scared, nervous and excited. And obviously, since the tears flowed so freely, it is all right underneath the surface for me.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Wow, Where Did that Week Go?

What a crazy week! I'm glad it's Friday.

The scale is honoring me with a two pound loss today, which makes me happy! But more than that, I have been getting some really nice compliments. Today, an old coworker came up and gave me a big hug at SBUX. He said, "I saw you walk by out of the corner of my eye, but I looked, and it wasn't you. But I looked again, and it *was* you!"

My best buddy, whom I have lunch with almost every day, didn't recognize me coming down the escalator today. She said I've hit another phase of major changes in my appearance. She just raved about it over lunch, to the point that I asked her if she'd scritch behind my ears, too, while she said all these nice things. :)

Earlier this week, Bariatric Meri told me she didn't recognize me when we passed at the elevator. "It's starting!" she said. That has pretty much been my motto for the week!

I am feeling really good. I see a major difference in my appearance, and my body is feeling stronger and more vibrant. I think I'm going to stop and buy myself something pretty this afternoon.

On other fronts, I am contemplating renting a bigger house in the neighborhood. Since the divorce two years ago (or nearly - I guess it's two years in August), I've been renting a small two-bedroom townhome. I sleep on a futon in the living room and the kids have the bedrooms. It feels very temporary, or transitional, to me. Our kitchen is a teeny galley kitchen and the counters are always crowded because there's not much cabinet space. The house I'm looking at is small, but nice. The owners seem great, and the timing works out exactly as I need. It's about a $500/month jump in rent plus added utilities over what I'm currently paying, and my neighborhood (both the smartest and the dumbest decision I ever made to move here) is already very expensive. I have not noticed an extra $500/mo kicking around in my checking account, but theoretically, the math works.

The flip side of that is it will eat up all my income. I will be much more restricted about yoga and water aerobics classes, about buying clothes to accommodate a shrinking me. It's a difficult trade-off to make: on the one hand, I want my kids in a more homey environment, I want a sense of permanence and comfort for myself. I want my own stinking bedroom, and not having my dresser in the entry closet.

On the other, this year is about me. Whipping this body into shape, buying clothes to fit the new me, etc. If I manage it smartly, I can do it all, but it won't be easy. Moving is expensive, and renting a house comes with additional expenses that I don't currently have in the condo.

Decisions, decisions.

My friend and I are about to complete our TENTH stairclimb of the week! We both did it, twice a day, every day this week. We are on FIRE! Next week, we are adding two additional flights to our climb, and continuing with the twice a day routine. Eeep.

On a bummer note, I missed yoga last night to go see this house. My ex is keeping the kids longer on Sunday so I can go to the make-up class Sunday morning, though. I also missed one night of deep water aerobics because of hellacious traffic, making me 15 minutes late, plus I forgot my darn towel and it was POURING outside. I just couldn't do it, I bailed on the class.

Also, I've been given my first blog award! Thank you, Jen at Runner...maybe? I am planning a special post this weekend in honor of the occasion. :)

Monday, April 11, 2011

Three Month Post-Op Pics and Thoughts

Wow, three months already! So exciting! I feel fantastic. As far as recovery/lasting effects from surgery go, I feel pretty darn normal. I can eat mostly anything. My no-nos thus far have been ice cream, hard liquor, carbonated beverages, most, but not all dairy. I am fine giving up these things, although I would say giving up pop has been the biggest challenge. There are lots of times where I just want an ice cold diet coke. Too bad, so sad! Ain't happening.

My body feels totally great and I don't feel any physical effects from the surgery, and haven't for quite some time. On Friday, I bowled for the first time post-op, plus I did yoga last week and these are both twisty/turny activities that involve the stomach/gut area. I didn't think a thing of it. I pronounce myself fully healed!

Eating-wise, I am learning that I still need to confront the same demons I did pre-op. Nighttime eating and crunchy carbs (breadsticks, popcorn, goldfish crackers) continue to be a real challenge for me when they are around. That's the good part - it's when they are around. I continue to teach myself to not let them be around. :)

I'm also working on my thought patterns. I have a lot of "until I'm down to goal weight," "when I'm at goal weight," and "to get me to goal weight" thoughts:

- I will start dating when I get closer to goal weight
- I will run the stairs to get me to goal weight faster
- I am upping my activity to make me lose weight
- etc.

I'm all for having goals, but I'm trying not to let myself fall into a pattern of thinking I am released to my old habits once I get to a weight I'm satisfied with. This. is. for. life. A woman posted online today about being five years post-op and at some point having regained 100 of the 200+ pounds she lost (which I think she subsequently lost again). That really struck a chord with me. Get sloppy and you will lose the hard work you've put into this. I do not want to go down that path again!

Anyway. Here's pics. Yay!!

This one is fun, too, because it shows each month side by side, but I would need to do some formatting to get the sizes/heights right to see a good comparison. Still fun to look at.

p.s. It's hard to see, but I have a mole (errr, beauty mark) that is almost right at the v-neck of the shirt. I like looking at how much the fit of the shirt has changed by seeing that mole start out right at the hem of the shirt, and now the shirt falls inches below that! 

Workout Plan for the Week / Recap of Last Week

A la all the cool kids' blogs (or, anyway), here is my work out plan for the week:

Sunday: nada
Monday: 2x400 stairs (AM and PM run), 2x160 back down, one hour deep water aerobics
Tuesday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, walk at lunch (forecast says sun for this one stinking day)
Wednesday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, one hour deep water aerobics
Thursday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, 90 minutes vinyasa yoga
Friday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down
Saturday: nada

And here's how last week's workouts went:

Sunday: nada
Monday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down, one hour deep water aerobics
Tuesday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down
Wednesday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down
Thursday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down, 90 minutes vinyasa yoga
Friday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down, bowled four games
Saturday: nada

Sunday, April 10, 2011

New Britches - and a Giveaway (Completely Unrelated to My Underwear)

Tomorrow is my three month post-op date, so I am looking forward to comparing my before/during photos. But this is a good one, too. :) I had taken to rolling my granny panties up in order to keep them from riding the middle of my back. But this weekend (uh, little bit of shopping this weekend - new jeans, new boots, new undies, new yoga clothes...) I decided to go buy some pretty Victoria's Secret! Look at me, shopping at the regular girls' stores, woo hoo!

Anyway, here's a fun before and after, and if this is too personal for you, just be glad I didn't post a pic of me wearing them. ;)

And, hey! Check out Runner...Maybe's giveaway  over at Jen's blog. She has some super-cute earrings from an Etsy site to give away. Hurry up, the drawing is at 9 a.m. PST on 4/15! (I am not charging extra for the shout out on the giveaway in my panties post, hahaha.) Jen's blog is also a great read for those of us on the weight loss track - I have found it so inspirational! Jen's lost 85 pounds and is an actual runner now! :) Unfathomable for someone like me who is an expert couch potato...but as I emerge from this dark cloud of obesity, I am just so excited at all the things I can do. Run? Maybe.

Mwah-ha-ha Size 12!

I picked up some jeans today at Costco - I got the size 14 and *hoped* they would fit, since the other size 14s um, well, if not *fit* exactly, at least I was able to get them on. So I got home with my new jeans, put them on, and...gasp...I need a size 12! Wowsa!

I also bought two cute pairs of boots while I was out and about today. I'm strictly a tennis shoes kind of girl, specifically a Keen tennies girl. But I am feeling better, and prettier, and girlier, so I decided to go for cute boots with low heels.

Now, just to wear them. :) I will have to remember to bring my tennies to work so I can still do my stair runs. Maybe changing into my Keens will make me so happy, I'll be excited to run the stairs!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Sunshine! Made Especially for My Blog by Favicon Fixer

Hrm, did you know those little custom pictures in the URL for web pages is called a "favicon?" I had no idea. And if you look in the corner by my blog address, you hopefully see a bright yellow sunshine instead of the old Blogger "B." It was given to me courtesy of Dion at Favicon Fixer. Dion is on a mission to customize people's websites with cute little graphics and get rid of the generic stuff. I heard about this from my friend Kim at

Anyway, I left Dion my blog address and email address on his blog, and he emailed me easy instructions to make the sunshine come out here at Free Julie. I wish he could make it sunny in Seattle, too!

Go see Dion's blog if you want your own custom favicon for your blog. Tell him Free Julie sent you. :)

Oh Hells Yeah I Went to that Yoga Class!

Whew. I am beat. It has been a long week of lots of working out, and I am TIH-RED. My stairclimbing buddy ditched me Wednesday, Thursday and she will be gone today, so I am very impressed with myself for sticking to it alone. Everything hurts, as much as it did when I first started working the stairs.

So, I went to the yoga class last night and loved it. Firstly, I forgot about men. Oops. There are men in the class, and this threw me into a bit of a last minute nervous spell. Okay - shake it off. No one has time during class to watch you twist and contort on the mat. The class was small, which was comforting at first, but again, really doesn't matter.

It's not 'hot yoga' but the studio was about 90 degrees. Yipes. That took a little getting used to, also. And while I knew the session is Tu/Thu, I forgot this meant I would have missed the first class, so I went into it a little behind. Had to introduce myself and my experience, etc. all by my lonesome. I found myself feeling self-conscious because of my weight, being new, and inadvertently saying I hadn't done yoga since 2004, which made me draw my own imaginary conclusion of "before I got fat." Oh, I was fat, then, too, it's just no fun being the only fat chick in the room.

The community center offers a gentle yoga class for "people of size." I considered looking into it, but decided against it. I love yoga. When I was doing it before, I was obsessed with it. I don't want a "just like yoga" class - I want a real yoga class. I'm not saying the community center class isn't - I just wanted to go right to the source. My friend has used this studio (at another location) for years and loves it. She's very into the mental side of it, too, and so I had a high level of comfort going into it.

All that said, I suck. Wow, have I ever lost a ton of flexibility over the years. I knew that, but it was eye-opening to see once I got on the mat. There's not a whole heck of a lot of difference between my downward facing dog and my plank pose! Rigid!!

I'm just not bendy, and my hamstrings are super tight. I will be a long work in progress! But I had a blast, and I was dripping with sweat and dying for the class to end - no, dying for the opportunity to do corpse pose at the end. I can absolutely rock the corpse pose - I have an innate ability for this one:

I talked to the instructor, a very nice, relaxing and entertaining guy, after class. Coming on Thursdays only will be a bit problematic, because I am missing half the instruction. He said we will work through it and I will just be playing catch up, but it's not a race. He said my attitude is great and it will be fine. Yeah, my attitude is great because when he came over to guide me into a twisty pose that I was nowhere near approaching, I started cracking up when he was offering instruction.

In short, I did feel at a disadvantage by joining the second class, but it will be okay. It can seem overwhelming at first, but I had my bearings by the end of the evening. The class is a higher level beginner class than I was hoping for, but it was a tough work out and I will love it. Did love it. I was initially looking for more of a yoga pose type class - moving from pose to pose working on stretching and flexibility. This class is a variant on my old Ashtanga yoga classes, which were a fast-paced series of poses done in order at a fairly rapid pace. This class is slower paced than the Ashtanga (for now, anyway) but is the same sort of thing: sun salutation, warrior series, etc...moving, moving, moving through a series without stopping.

Tonight, I am bowling with friends, because I'm just such an active person, I couldn't bear to sit around on a Friday night and have a quiet dinner and drinks. Oh no, I'm a restless spirit, I have to keep moving, moving, moving in order to be at ease. (Pardon my brainwashing, haha, I am trying to reprogram myself!) This is the first time I've been bowling since surgery, I'm looking forward to it! I will also try a beer, although I've tried three cocktails now since surgery, and all three times, after just a sip or two, my sleeve has said, "Nope. Not taking that - give it away, you're not having any!"

p.s. - one of the bestest things about yoga class? New clothes! Wow, do I ever need some workout clothes that fit me! My pants were falling down, my t-shirt was sagging low, exposing my breasts on any of the bending poses - I felt like I was wearing a tent!

p.p.s. - I think I'll have a  fun shopping weekend. I need new underwear, too, all my granny panties are riding up HIGH on my back now, and I'm having to roll, roll, roll them at the waist. I'm experiencing many super-fun benefits of the weight loss!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

How I Got Fat, or at Least the Excuses I Use

Quick lunch before/after check-in. My coworker saw this picture up on my screen and is mocking my three pieces of tofu for lunch. :)

Oh dear, this blog has the potential to become a fitness blog if I'm not careful! Shhh - who would think that could come from me? This blog was supposed to be about how I had weight loss surgery and was magically transformed from a gelatinous goo to a beautiful fairy princess, all without breaking a sweat or inconveniencing my slothenly lifestyle in any way.


So, the great thing about weight loss surgery. I FEEL HUMAN AGAIN!

Sure, I have a long, long way to go. But I am feeling great and looking better all the time. Today, for instance, I packed myself into a pair of SIZE 14 jeans like a canned ham. Sure, I can't breathe too good, and sure, I'm a little blue around the lips and finger nails from lack of oxygen, but I CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WORE A SIZE 14!
I think my wedding dress was a size 12. And that was 1991, the summer I was 21 years old. (Quick math check - yes, that's right. Oh dear, that makes me nearly 30 now.) From ages 19-22, I would characterize myself as rather hawt. It was a brief but pleasurable era. I was working out all the time, I felt beautiful and sexy and I was beating the boys off with a stick. I think I weighed about 125 pounds, mas o menos. I remember my jeans were in the size 4-6 range, so when I am near a reasonable weight, I am pretty small.

In fact, at 5'3", I'm suddenly getting an awful lot of comments now about how short I am. Hrm. People are commenting that they had never realized how short I am, and how little. Uh, thanks. :) Even my mom, last time she saw me, said, "Wow, you're really short, aren't you? You're just going to be tiny." Thanks Mom. Genetics played some sort of role, I'm sure. (Although she's 5'5 or so.) On my dad's side, my grandma and my aunt are what I call "bird women." You know the type - short, small frames, tiny. I am a hybrid, I guess. I will never lose weight from my ginormous head, and my feet, at size 7.5-8 are not what typically accompanies a 5'3" frame. But since I wore size 4-6 clothing, I have capacity for smallness. I always thought of my trim frame as Mary Lou Retton-ish. (Note to self: Update this reference point so as to not make myself seem oooolllldddd.)

In 1990, I fell and broke my ankle really badly. I had never been hurt before, and this was *hurt*. I had to have two operations on it. In the course of the same fall, I probably broke my spine, too, although we'll never know for sure.

The accident happened on a rainy Seattle afternoon when I had just gotten off work. I was walking down a steep sidewalk toward the bus stop, when I stepped onto a 3' square water meter cover in the middle of the sidewalk. I slipped, and the inside of my right ankle hit the sunken corner of the meter cover, HARD. It broke off a big chunk of my ankle bone, which had to be reattached with pins and screws. I was laid up in bed for several weeks and had two have two surgeries. At that time, my low back was killing me. I attributed it to laying around in bed all day. Over the years, my back pain became progressively worse and worse and worse, until in 2004 I had a spinal fusion surgery because I was in so much pain, I genuinely didn't care if I lived or died any more. I had put off surgery to have babies (1999 and 2001 and one the stork hand-delivered to me in 2005). By 2004, I could barely take care of the babies. I had the spinal fusion, I walked with a walker for weeks, I was off work for six months, it was a grueling recovery but all parties (myself and my surgical team) agree that I am a poster child for the success of this operation. Years later, I am still pretty much pain free (not so much that I don't pop a vicodin now and then, but not enough that it impacts my life in any way).

But that was 2004, and we're not through with the broken ankles yet. Yes, ankles. In 1990, I broke my first one and had the surgeries. In 1992, probably, I broke the other ankle - playing drunk nighttime hide and seek at a campground with my then-husband and two of our friends. The doctors say this is a surprisingly common injury (breaking the other ankle, not drunk nighttime hide and seek). Apparently, you guard the injured bone and subject your other one to all sorts of stress. Well, in 1993 or so (time is a blur) I broke my left ankle AGAIN when I tripped on a garden hose stretched across the stairs of our front walk.

By the mid-1990s, you can bet that I had received the message loud and clear. DON'T DO ANYTHING - YOU WILL GET HURT. Over this time period, I started piling on the pounds at an alarming rate. And following my back surgery in 2004, the fear was cast in stone. How could I move? I might unfuse my back! Any number of terrors could be unleashed if I fell again, and I honestly couldn't bear the thought. And that's why I think I got fat: fear. I think it just got drummed into my head so hard that my body is fragile and anything I do puts it at terrible risk.

There were other things, too. Fear-related, there were several car accidents (none my fault, but one was especially terrible). Also, in 1998, I quit smoking in order to get ready to have babies. Nothing brings out the self-pity in me like quitting smoking, and I gained a ton of weight. My eating was completely unchecked, because I was quitting smoking, dammit. Leave me alone. I have some additional musings about depression and being married to the wrong man who *seems* like the right man (so my unhappiness must be my fault, of course), but I'll save those for another time.

Anyway, these are my demons - some of them, anyway, and I am confronting them head-on one at a time. I made the mistake of letting fear and other weaknesses drive my life for many years, and I am taking back the reins.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Fifty Big Ones!

Yay! I won't wax poetic about this milestone, since I'm still feeling pretty fat and bloaty today...but still, yay!

I'm back at work today and happy to report I did do my morning stair run by myself. I forgot to bring my phone to time it, and I wonder if I went faster? Seems like I paused more, but my legs were awfully wobbly when I was done, making me wonder if I had worked harder. Anyway, I was just glad to get it in, because, as I had feared - I was just downright procrastinatey about doing it, knowing my buddy isn't here today. I'm a wiley one - got to watch me because I'll look for any opportunity to bail on exercising. But I'm trying to change that. :)

Bummer - I will have to miss water aerobics tonight, and I'm not sure about tomorrow, either. Having the kids' dad out of town is clashing with my newfound devotion to exercise. (Newfound, and still feels quite foreign on my tongue/brain/fingertips to attribute to myself, haha.) I will also have to miss my WLS support group at the hospital - this is a bummer, as I have only missed a couple since I started attending at the end of September last year. I don't like to miss them, but do feel it's okay to wean down to one meeting a month at some point now. Usually they are very useful to me, sometimes they are not so relevant, but I like the people there. 

I have an evening activity schedule in mind for myself, but it is complicated and requires my free evenings when the kids are with their dad. I'm trying to balance not wanting to short-shrift my time with the kids, and making my health/weight loss a priority in order to be the best me (and by consequence, best mom) that I can.

Mon - deep water aerobics (requires babysitter) 
Tue - take kids to the Y to work out
Wed - deep water aerobics
Thur - vinyasa yoga
Fri -
Sat/Sun - lay around on couch smugly satisfied with myself

Add in the twice daily stair climbs and the lunch time walk (which honestly, have petered out with the crummy weather we're experiencing) and I think I have a do-able workout plan.

I was going to sign up for the yoga tomorrow night (it runs in four-week sessions, Tu/Thu, but they said I can attend Thu only for eight weeks). But it goes until late in the evening, and tomorrow I have my peeps. Generally, they are with their dad on Thursday nights, so the late class will be okay. I am wrestling with whether or not to attend: I have been eager to get back into yoga and kind of want to strike while the iron is hot.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Oh my, I gained every last ounce of my weight back today. Or so it felt. I just feel fat, fat, fat. It was the worst day ever!

This is actually a good thing - although it is hard to say that right now. It's a good thing, because yesterday I felt great and wonderful and inspired and ON MY WAY.

Today, I feel like crap. It's 180 degrees from yesterday. The lesson here is that I will have these days, and they can come on unexpectedly, and, like everything else, this too shall pass.

The day started out great. The kids are on spring break, so the nanny is coming early and my mornings are a breeze. Just get myself out the door, and done! Yay!

But I got a call less than an hour after I started. My 10-year-old had a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. You have no idea how we have battled nosebleeds with this child. And he gets gnarly ones - he has even bled out his eyes many times. Needless to say, they are near-hysteria inducing for him.

So. Never mind the fact that we have taken him to the doctor and even the ER a million times for nosebleeds and nothing can be done. Never mind the fact that he was signed up for expensive paintball camp today and has been looking forward to it for weeks. Never mind the fact that I have no vacation or sick leave time at work.

He was ADAMANT that I come home and take him to a doctor. His stress level was just absolutely through the roof.

Sigh. I left work, called the ENT and begged to be seen, came home and picked him up while the nanny took the other two to the YMCA to work out. Thankfully, the ENT said he would cauterize some blood vessels that are very close to the surface of the skin. He also put my son on antibiotics to treat a possible sinus infection that may be making things worse.

So my son spent the day in pain and miserable and worried. I spent the day consoling him. And it is pouring down rain, and my son is perfecting the sick-man/baby attitude that will undoubtedly drive his poor wife insane. And telling my five year old not to roughhouse or wrestle his older brother is like telling him not to breath all day. And OMG could this tiny townhouse be ANY SMALLER?

I am a claustrophobic mess. And I feel fat, very fat. My period is RAGING - oh hello, has it been two weeks already??? I am not even one who usually craves chocolate during my period, but today I had to make a specific trip into the drugstore. Yay me for not succumbing to my original goal of INHALING a bag of Hershey's candy coated eggs (the bane of my existence this time of year) but instead trying a mere *two* sugar-free mini Reese's peanut butter cups! Yum, by the way. Satiated my craving and didn't make me feel like a failure. Did not even backhand said 10-year-old who said, sweetly, "mom you just had weight loss surgery, you shouldn't eat candy." Sigh.

No exercise. No sanity. Just me, a whiny/injured/scared boy, a wild out-of-control-mom's-home-let's-rock-the-Casbah boy, and my 12-year-old (no complaints here today, haha). Living out my dream of being the little old woman who lived in a shoe, so many children she didn't know what to do...

Better day, tomorrow. Better be. :) And I couldn't have really gained 49.9999999 pounds overnight, right? Right?

p.s. And I am very sad because I signed up for deep water aerobics last night and was *so* looking forward to going again tomorrow night. But my ex is out of town (his second of three vacations in three months - ahem - child support, anyone?) and I'm covering his days with the kids. I forgot my middle guy has an appointment tomorrow evening that would break his heart to miss. So I will have to miss water aerobics, which will break my heart. :( I think I'll pop a few vitamin Ds tonight and pray for a little relief tomorrow!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Skirting 50

I've lost 49.99999999 pounds. :) I am not calling the 50 pound mark yet because, well, I'm just that teensy bit off. I did, however, come out at work on Friday with a 50-pound loss, because some poor unfortunate friend had the misfortune to ask how much I've lost, and the fifty pound milestone was bubbling underneath the very, very surface, I guess! "FIFTY POUNDS!" I blurted.

Then, it must be 1.5-2 weeks later because of course I started spotting again - I think my hormones are OUTTA WHACK since the surgery. And my weight bounced up two pounds (I called that the "two pounds for lying" penalty, haha). And today, I'm back down to a mere fraction away from my milestone. Tomorrow, perhaps.

Today begins "Hell Week." Okay, maybe not that bad! My friend and I are going to run the stairs twice a day, so 2x400 stairs. We have already completed our morning workout. My incentive was not allowing myself to go get breakfast until I did it, haha.

Now, my buddy is out of the office on Wednesday and Friday, so those will be tough days. Will I make myself do the stair runs both days without her? YES I WILL! I was sort of planning on skipping them. She said she will try to work out at home, so I sort of half committed to myself to do the stairs without her. Then I read my friend 23imaginaryfriend's blog and she ran her first ever 15 miles the other day, even after her friend had to cancel at the last minute. Oh jeez. I guess I can hold myself accountable for working out, too. Pout. Stomp.

Next week, I have a lofty goal in mind. No elevators. Well - some elevators. I ride a lot of elevators. Parking garage to lobby, lobby to mid-building, mid-building to office. The lobby ride is from the 4th to 40th floors - we won't cut that one out, not for awhile, anyway. But I could cut out the parking garage elevator and the elevator to my floor, and give myself quite a stairclimbing boost. We'll see. That's what I have in mind, anyway.

This weekend, I took the kids on a whale watching tour. We had a great day! It was a verrrry long day, however, in the cold and rain. Five hours on the boat, two hours in a tiny town for lunch. We did get to see gray whales on the way back to Seattle. My first whale sightings! Great day with the kids. At one point, though, my five year old was running around on the boat with two other five year olds (I intentionally signed up for the Single Parents Trip through, so there were lots of young kids on board.) I went to go after my son, but BOTH my feet had gotten looped under my daughter's bag strap on the floor. It was like my feet had been yanked out from under me. I went down straight and hard, like a tree. Loud. In the middle of the aisle, in the middle of a packed boat. It was not my finest moment. I was terribly embarrassed.You never want to be a fat chick who just fell. Bad enough if you're a skinny bitch who fell like I did, but as a fat chick, the embarrassment has to be amped up on the scale exponentially.

Anyway, I made a good recovery, was back on my feet in no time, smiling, and did not even kill my kid for running away. And at least I was fifty pounds 49.999999999 pounds less embarrassed by it than I would have been in January. :)

p.s. - I am millimeters away from being able to fit into my size 14 pants. Well, maybe not millimeters, but close.

p.p.s. - Hi to all my readers and "followers" :) I love followers, I love following blogs (a little too much, actually, just ask my browser history). I notice that I have "23 imaginary friends," too! (That's the genesis of my friend's blog title - she calls blog buddies imaginary friends.) If you're a blogger and you're not on my list (it shows the 25 most recently updated blogs), by all means, let me know! I'd love to read yours!

p.p.p.s - Yay, we did both stair work outs today! Our AM time was 8:14, and our PM time was 7:58. This is great, considering we weren't going for time and we are still down significantly from last Monday's time of 8:58, when we were going for speed! We decided our Friday fastest time of 6:55 was too fast to shoot for right now, we're going to work on distance/endurance for awhile.

p.p.p.p.s - I should just graph our stair climbing times instead of geeking out about them all over the blog, haha.

Friday, April 1, 2011


Stairclimbing goal, that is. :) The goal: 20 flights every day, Monday-Friday. After Monday's time, we decided to try to get to less than 7 minutes 30 seconds by Friday.

The week:

Monday 8:58
Tuesday 8:30
Wednesday 7:46
Thursday 7:40

Wahoooo! Of course, the 6:55 was followed by 6:55 of laying at the top of the stairs swearing, crying and breathing heavy. I swear I thought I was going to puke after about the 15th flight. And even now, a little bit later, my lungs feel like they're on fire.

But we did it, we did it, we did it!

Next week is an abbreviated week. Spring break for the kids, so my buddy will be gone a couple days. Instead of speed, we've decided to focus on endurance. We're going to work on doing a morning and an afternoon run. We'll try it Monday! Our other focus will be to add additional flights, a couple flights at a time. Our building is 62 flights, we've got room to play with, haha.