Ah, I am so over food. I'm over EVERYTHING today. (It is no coincidence, I'm sure, that today is the day I compile a report at work - I *strongly dislike* this task and find that it kind of puts a funk on my day. Fortunately, it's only twice a month.)
Anyway. I can't think of anything to eat. On Sunday, I bought two feta/spinach turkey burgers from the meat department. I cooked them up, cut them in half and stuck them in snack sized baggies. This, I planned, would be lunch at work for the next four days.
Sigh. My stomach hates the feta. My mouth loves the burgers, but the feta is a sleeve no-go. Okay. Regroup. Yesterday, I went to the lunch buffet place (from my food photos) just before they closed at 3:00 p.m. I was over-hungry. I went bananas and bought $2.40 worth of food (as opposed to the $1.20 worth I posted last week, haha). I gave myself a stomachache. I wanted to go home.
Today, then, the buffet doesn't sound good, even though it wasn't the buffet's fault. It was too much food, and probably too much variety. I had a spoonful of egg yolk and a spoonful of tuna salad: foods that have not historically been well-tolerated. I got over-cocky with my assumption that it would be okay, since my sleeve is being more tolerant. Maybe it was too much food, maybe it was the wrong food.
So now, I am just over food, and over my sleeve. For some reason, today I have been obsessing about not losing fast enough. I am down 37 pounds in 9+ weeks (including two-week pre-op diet). Twenty-nine pounds from the day of the surgery. This is fast! But I didn't lose last week, and this week I dropped two pounds and holding steady.
I am overthinking. No, I have not reached maximum weight loss. I should probably stop reading the weight loss surgery forums so intently. Yesterday I read that someone's surgeon said you lose most of your weight in the first three months. "I'm blowing it!!" I thought.
Silly girl. Don't stress so much.
Hang in there Julie! You're doing great and I know you'll get the eating thing figured out. I've been psyching myself out too because I don't feel that I'm losing as fast as another blogger following a similar program. But ya know what? Your 37 pounds and the 19 pounds I've lost are awesome! We each have our own journeys to take, it takes as long as it takes, and we're gonna get there. Getting healthy and being ON the journey are the important parts. You're doing great, keep up the great work!!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing great. I often have to tell myself that food is fuel for my body, don't just eat to eat - but choice things that are not only tasty but that are good for me. I hope that you can start to enjoy food in a positive way. :)
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. I am still bad with pasta and rice, but I often think I can do it and then - bah. My go-to is little meatballs, we make them once a week (basically a meatball sized meatloaf) and they are lunch for a few days plus some random protein snack. This week, we have "Mexican" meatballs - just added chili powder. Maybe that's something you can try?
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