Dreams

I'm not much for New Year's resolutions. Many years ago, I got tired of making resolutions that I didn't keep, and then beat myself up about not keeping.

I have dreams, though. And with my surgery right around the corner, 2011 is on my lap like a shimmering gift, just filled with hope and promise and joy and expectations. I am *so* excited!

I think I'm having my surgery at the perfect time. 1/11/11 is a cool date, let's all admit. ;) That's a great start! It's right at the beginning of a new year, a brand spanking new year. And my 41st birthday is on 1/10, so my birthday is full of promise and self-love and taking care of me. Putting *me* on a path I haven't been on in a long time, investing in my own health and future.

I can't wait. There is so much that I am looking forward to!

• Getting dressed. As it is, I hate getting dressed. Too-tight clothing is no fun! I want to get out of the shower, knowing that my clothes will fit or be too loose. No more walking around getting the kids ready for school with my jeans unzipped/unbuttoned, trying to 'break them in' before the big belly suck.
• Boobs that stick out farther than belly.
• My feet! Hello, feet, it's nice to look down and see you again!
• Good bye, sour puss. I hope that it truly is from excess weight, haha, but I hate my carp-face dour look when I'm not smiling. Blech. Fortunately for me, I smile a lot, but whenever I see pictures of me in my "natural state," well...yuck. I am looking forward to seeing my features emerge from behind the fat.
• Crossing my legs! Easily! With grace, not by pulling at my pant leg, and not like a man.
• Not sweating! This will be another interesting one to see what changes with the weight. When I was thin, even, my face would sweat a lot. Especially if I was in claustrophobic-type situations. High school assemblies in the middle of the bleachers were the worst for me, I just get weird in a crowd. Anyway, so I have a known propensity to sweat (almost exclusively my face, oddly), but I am hopeful and confident that weight loss will help this immensely. It certainly can't hurt!
• Pretty underwear!! 'Nuff said!
• OMG - buying clothes in regular stores or the regular sections of stores. Even more fun, buying petite clothes in petite sizes! I am only 5'2", so I really do need to buy in petite sizes. Shopping for petite/plus-size sucks. I am happy to leave it behind!
• Rollercoasters! And any carnival ride with my kids! We are going to have a BLAST at the Puyallup Fair this year!
• Fitting easily into restaurant booths, sitting next to someone at the movie theater and not feeling cramped and claustrophobic (my size has really become an aggravating issue for me when it comes to my claustrophobic tendencies).
• Hugs.
• Reduced pain and burden on my body. For pete's sake, everything hurts these days. When my boobs and belly shrink, my back will feel better, my knees and feet will feel better, etc.
• Buying clothes, period. I used to like to dress cute and wear cute things. Now, I pretty much live in t-shirts and the same pair of jeans.
• This is a ridiculous one that I probably shouldn't say out loud. Volunteering more. I volunteer for the police department, but when I work, I have to wear a belt and a police radio (thus, the belt). Yes, the prospect of putting on a belt and having that infernal radio smooshing into me is unfortunately enough to deter me from my shifts. (*blush*)
• Remembering what I liked to do before eating became my number one leisure activity. I am excited, hopeful and scared to death about this one. What DID I like to do? How will I fill my time that isn't in front of the TV munching? I am excited to re-gain energy and rediscover my passion for life. It's always been there, it's just been hiding for a long, long time.
• Positive effects on my children and our eating habits. I am going to drag my children, kicking and screaming, if need be, into my healthy eating lifestyle. I have been soaking up post-WLS recipes like a sponge, most especially from my favorite, The World According to Eggface. We are all going to make major changes, and I am excited!!
• Men!! Oh, I'm ready to date again. My ex and I separated two years ago and it is time, baby. Come this summer, I will be out in the sun, feeling good about myself and looking forward to a new chapter in life.
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• This summer, nothing - I'm turning the page on a new chapter in life right now and I am all pins and needles with excitement to get it going! And I'm ending this post because Firefox + Blogger = oil + water and I am about to go nuts trying to get rid of the "stray bullets" in my post, haha.