Thursday, August 30, 2012

Now You're Just Somebody that I Used to Know

Oh boy, will that song ever be stuck in my head for the rest of the morning, now that I've typed it, haha.

Here, let me stick in your head, too. :)

Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know

I think about this song, sometimes because it is a sad song and I am still nursing a bit of a broken heart, but more often because I kind of feel like it's my new theme song for Old Julie. Enslaved Julie? The old me, anyway. She's fading from my mind - fading from my sense of "me" and who I am. The sadness, the desperation, the hopelessness...I don't feel that way anymore. (Okay, well, sometimes I feel that way, but for different reasons, haha.) So funny, considering that was so much of my "normal" feeling! I had gotten so big, I pretty much had given up...I was used to feeling physically and mentally unable/unwilling to do anything about my weight.

I have a few daily reminders of old Julie. When I take the tunnel bus, there is a long, narrow escalator to escape leave the tunnel. I've blogged about it before. It used to be, standing at the bottom of that escalator, knowing I'd endure the wrath of HATERS if I didn't climb those stairs in rapid succession (it's so narrow, you can't pass on it, so if you don't keep moving, you're blocking a long line of irritated commuters). Following the escalator is a steep one-block hill climb to my destination. And I remember, back in the day, getting off that bus and just feeling...stressed. Too tired to climb the stairs. Too winded to climb the hill. It was a rough way to start the morning.

Now, I smoke those stairs and hill, genuinely not thinking a thing of it, unless I have an Old Julie moment. Then it feels kind of bittersweet. Old Julie moments can be triggered at times like this morning, when I pass an obese person laboring up that big ole hill. I feel ya, buddy.

ANYWAY. I wanted to show you this picture. I have a feeling the "before" pictures are no longer going to be part of this blog. It's like showing you a picture of somebody I used to know. What's her relationship to me? Uhhh, I don't remember. Somebody that I used to know.

You may recall I volunteer for the police department. (My badge may say "LIMITED" but since joining the program, I always assume I am acting with the full authority of the law behind my every action. This theory has yet to be tested.) My ID had expired, so I popped in to get it reissued last week. The women in the ID office marveled at my changes: the first picture was taken 4/1/10, and the new one last week. They verified my signature to make sure it was really me. :)

Now You're Just Somebody that I Used to Know
I showed the picture to my mom, who was, as my mom, naturally very proud of me. :) And she said something that resonated...something that I had been feeling myself for awhile. "Soon, you won't even want to see these's not you."

That's where I'm at. I'm not sure I'll be posting many of the before pictures anymore, or the comparison shots, etc. It's kind of like taking pictures side by side of two different people and comparing them: they're not the same people. Period.

And that, my friends, is exactly what I was hoping for with the surgery.

Now, on to one of my favorite topics: men! Great date last night. :) Kim doesn't like the nickname "Rebar" and she didn't get my literary reference I proposed offline, so we need a new nickname. Alright, she also thinks I am being silly to avoid using real we'll just call him "C." That's a nice name, isn't it? C builds big things, and he is the superintendent in charge of building big things, so this, to a security junkie like me, says sexy, sexy, sexy. He is quite local to me, living in the same city, very nearly the same neighborhood. Wouldn't that be fun? With Greg and me, the nearly thirty miles difference was a vast geographical divide. It would be fun to date someone where you didn't have to factor in commute times. "Hey, you want to meet for a cup of coffee?" as opposed to "Let's plan a sleepover for next Tuesday!"

I had a lot of fun with C. Holy smokes, he's huge! Six foot four, and I would guess that's underestimating a bit, if anything. Not like these "5'7" guys that are really 5'6"-ish. I think he has actually lost quite a bit of weight from the pictures he has posted online, too. I think from a health standpoint, he would be a great match for me. He started kayaking this summer and has been doing it a couple times a week. He's picked out a mountain bike to buy, and has ridden some of the same bike trails I've been riding. He mentioned last night at dinner that he's eating healthy. (Um, I had the Black & Bleu Burger, myself, haha. But I was sort of trapped into that one.)

We clicked really well. I enjoyed talking to him a lot, and we have a lot in common both professionally and personally. We went to a bar near my house and enjoyed people watching: there were some characters there. He has a bit of an evil side, I'm sure. I have a bit of a good side to offset my larger evil side, so we're well matched, haha.

No red flags. No bombshells dropped. Just a great guy and a fun evening. He called me to make sure I got home, he texted me last night and this morning, and he's asked me out again. We will hopefully be seeing each other again shortly. I'd be delighted to go kayaking or biking with him, but between us we have only one kayak and one bike, haha. I'm sure we'll figure it out.

On the flip side, this morning is the first morning I haven't received a text from T, the IS/IT (there is a difference, right?) guy. Boo. I like him, too. We'll see.

Dating is fun. And exhausting. It occurred to me, yesterday afternoon when I was contemplating the evening ahead of me, that I am enjoying myself. In a "I hope I meet someone soon so I can stop doing this" way, haha. Fun, but not fun.

Edited to add: And hey, thank you all for your comments and support and cheering me on! It is fun to write knowing that someone is enjoying my recounting of my trials and tribulations. :) I know my blog is sort of a mixed bag: diary, weight loss, exercise, romance...I appreciate you sticking it out! Thanks. :)


  1. What a triumph with the escalator/hill. Awesome. And how amazing is the difference between those photos. Wow. I would not recognize you. Great job.

    And for what it's worth. I liked the nickname Rebat. ;)

  2. The comparison photos are incredible - what a feeling to be able to say mission accomplished! You are such an inspiration Julie x

  3. Oh my goodness that SONG does have a way of staying with you a while doesn't it? I've seen the video before and find it facsinating/creepy at the same time.

    Your blog REALLY hit home with me today about the whole distance from our former selves. Oddly enough I've been meaning to blog about this also (soon!) But just know that I completely understand you 100%.

    Oh oh oh, my driver's license is up for renewal in Jan 2013 and I am soooooooooooo looking forward to a new pic, I cannot WAIT! :-)