Tuesday, September 4, 2012


Whew, boy. Okay, it's been a few weeks, I'm getting a little exhausted from all the dating. I have met a bunch of nice men, however. Shall we recap? Here, I am challenging myself to do it all from memory, haha, and I have to tell you, I am already struggling. :)

- AA dad with three girls: He was so nice, but the AA thing is probably not a good idea for me. I drink, and I told him so. :) We also had some very close ties (his ex is director at my YMCA) that seemed to make him uncomfortable. I had hoped to hear from him again, but after a text from him the next day that he would like to see me again and would "get back with me to set something up," did not hear from him again. I have since been told by two friends with AA experience, that if I do not intend to quit drinking, I should not date someone in AA. Sounds reasonable.
- Uber-Sounders Fan: He was the one I knew going into it was not a match. Very nice guy, just at very different places in our lives. We met for a couple drinks, had a nice time and didn't talk after that night.
- Creepy software development engineer: We had one drink one evening and it was great! I had picked up on a neediness/loneliness in his profile that worried me a bit, but didn't get those vibes in person. Plus, I gave some latitude there, because heck, if we weren't needy/lonely, we wouldn't be looking for a partner, yes? It's a jungle out there. But after that one nice hour spent together, he proceeded to drive me nuts over the course of the week before our next date, calling me "sweety," saying I am awesome (which I am - but he didn't know me well enough to know this), completely oversharing information about himself and his new job offer, which really rang warning bells; then the final straw, when I was on my way to see him, texting and asking me to treat him to dinner and drinks. Ugh. I turned around and went home, unwilling to shell out $60 or so to spend the evening with someone who was annoying the crap out of me.
- College IT manager: Still the best first date - I liked him. We saw each other a couple of times, and he still texts me every couple days (??). I gather he is either far, far too busy at work to date, or just not interested in dating (me). He's probably stringing me along to call if he's got a free evening - this is actually okay with me. I enjoyed his company. I am stringing him along right back. :)
- Construction superintendent: Aw, I liked him. He's the one who I had a fair amount in common with professionally and personally. We had a great date, but he texted me the next day and said, "Hi Julie, I've taken a bit of time to think about things. As I've said before, I'm looking for someone to start a relationship with. I enjoyed our date, but after thinking about your status, I think I'm looknig for someone that does not have children quite as young. Having been in a relationship with someone with teen and preteen kids, I think that I'm not up for that again. I wish you well in this often unenjoyable search, but I have no doubt you will find your perfect match. Best wishes." Bummer! I totally get it, though (I'd feel exactly the same way, honestly) - and wasn't he sweet to tell me instead of wasting my time?

Is that it for the first batch? I think we can wrap that group up safely saying there are no contenders in the bunch. Boo. That's okay, I've still got a couple up my sleeve:

- Retired Navy. Oh! This might be really good! I am learning not to get emotionally invested, however. :) I did go out with this gentleman last night, though, and it was wonderful. He is 47 (I'm 42), retired from the Navy after 25 years and since retirement has consulted for the Navy full-time (or full-time-ish?). He oversees the maintenance program for aircraft carriers and such. Very interesting guy. You know the Navy career satisfies my need for security/stability, too. Isn't it funny the scars you carry from old relationships? I can't tell you how important that stability is to me. And hey, it's not like I don't bring it to the table, myself. I've been with my employer for almost 23 years!

Anyway, Navy deserves another paragraph. Oh my, is he EVER a gentleman! I dropped my menu on the far side of the table and he was on his feet to pick it up for me. Had every door open before I even got there. :) Remind me to raise my sons to be gentlemen! (I do enforce this, but it is slow going.) At first, I was a bit apprehensive and not really feeling it, but I decided he was nervous. And that's a good thing - you know, the more you date the less nervous you get, so it was kind of refreshing. We sat at a very nice restaurant and had drinks and later an appetizer (and later, another drink). By the time we warmed up, I was enjoying myself a lot. A nice man with a good head on his shoulders. A thoughtful man, which I found very enjoyable. We talked about dating with kids (he only has one, who just started her freshman year of college across state). He said he doesn't have kid-phobia :) and thinks that for the right person, you just take whatever comes and figure out how to make it work. He said, though, that if the connection isn't right, it's easy to look at things like kids as an obstacle...but if you want it badly enough, you just roll with it. Exactly what me and my friends have talked about, too. Although I still say if my own kids were grown, I would be pre-screening dates based on whether or not they still had kids at home. But that's me, and I am one exhausted mama. :)

Navy walked me to my car and kissed me - a sweet, tentative kiss that quickly grew more urgent and less gentlemanly as I extracted myself to my car, haha. He texted me probably as soon as he got home and said, "I really had a nice time with you, and that was before those incredible kisses!* :) Thanks for taking the time out of your day to meet me! Do you have any plans for Friday evening? I'd like to come up there and take you out to dinner." (that was a string of texts put together - I do not know why I am direct quoting here today, my paraphraser must be broken.)

(* I have kissed several boys this year, and I always draw rave reviews for my kisses, thankyouverymuch. Maybe because I don't bite or drool? Not sure what is so special about my technique, haha.)

Anyway...we're going out Friday night when he gets back into town. He travels frequently to Norfolk, VA; San Diego, Hawaii and Japan for business. Lots of frequent flyer miles = lots of vacations. I'll keep you posted on this one!

I have a couple I've been emailing with but not met...maybe I'll brief on those later. I'm getting a little tired, I am thinking I'll just let this run its course and maybe take a little break. I've been getting in plenty of long bike rides, but my running is suffering and I have the Snohomish River half marathon coming up on 10/27. My daughter and I have the Iron Girl 5K this Sunday, too!!


  1. I am so glad I am not the only person in blog land doing this right now. But yay for navy guy. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. xx

  2. New follower, I saw your comment on Sarah's page :) I'm looking forward to reading more of your adventures in dating :) Navy guy sounds great!

  3. Hey! Just found your blog! I love running, and dating:)

  4. Nice recap Julie...I know you will eventually find THE ONE, and God knows you are not settling on the first thing to come your way!! Your hard work will pay off eventually. And thanks for giving us ole married gals a glimpse at date post-divorce, tagged-with-kids life. Not that I have any plans to date in the future, it's just fun to see it through the fish bowl, so to speak.

  5. i'm fatigued FOR you just by reading this! LOL

    I am really NOT looking forward to getting back into the dating world again... (SIGH)