Monday, February 14, 2011

Changing Relationship with Food

Go willingly, or go kicking and screaming, dun't matter!

I told my friend today that I am thinking of only eating astronaut food. Sucking on a little vacuum packed foil packet all day. Oh wait, that's the Costco protein shakes, isn't it?

I have lost all interest in food. Not for lack of loving it, or wanting it, but for lack of being able to eat it with any pleasure, and without pain or tummy grumblings. For nearly complete lack of hunger, as well. Today I hadn't eaten by 11:00 a.m. and I could feel it: NEED FOOD. But it was a clinical observation, not an emotional one. I can see how some people stay on the protein shakes after surgery (completely, completely against the medical advice of my surgeon)!

Food is overrated. Bah. I need a good half-dozen food items that I can eat without suffering. AND I AM SO OVER SOUP AND OTHER MUSHY FOOD! I don't even like soup! As another friend says, "Soup isn't a meal." :)

Right now I am drinking a ridiculously overpriced $7 smoothie from Emerald City Smoothie. It's good. I paid extra to up the protein to 32 grams, and I think since I said I wanted that smoothie since it didn't have dairy: they upcharged me and gave me soy protein. I don't think I'm having trouble with the whey protein. Ah, well. This 16-oz smoothie is quite extremely chalky from all the protein, but still tasty. My friend mused whether or not I'd be able to drink all sixteen ounces by the end of the day. I doubt it.

Yesterday, I had a food sample at Trader Joe's: pork carnitas. My stomach said "yes" to the shredded pork. See, there is food out there that my tummy likes! My tummy also said yes to the very fatty salami slices. I think tummy is not thinking clearly on this one, because I'm guessing all that fat can't be good for my weight loss or my sensitive sleeve. I got the pork carnitas sample on the way out the door, so I didn't buy any, but will stop in and get some.

I think the answer there is the "shredded" nature of it. It was very moist. I had a gross soup from Specialty's today: Cream of Chicken and Barley. 'Cept the website where I ordered from didn't say "Cream of" it just said "Chicken and Barley." Still trying to avoid the cream. I tried some of the cubed chicken in the soup, it was tough, tough, tough! Sat okay with the sleeve, but still some grumbling and discomfort. I returned the gross soup for a three-bean vegan soup. My sleeve seems equally unimpressed with beans. I have found this to be true with refried beans, as well.

But, she says happily, that is why I am only two pounds (less than, actually) off my 35-pound weight loss and getting under the "needs to lose a 100 pounds or more" benchmark. These are good things. And it won't always be this way. And I need to capitalize on it now, while the weight is falling off - that won't always be this way, either. Food sensitivities will fade, and weight loss will slow. Each phase is part of the journey.

It's a little frustrating, though. To think of both eating and drinking as a chore. Knowing it must be done, but knowing there is no available option that will make it pleasant.

For the first time in my life: food is fuel. Period.


  1. $7 for a smoothie Yikes! I have started making my own - right now my favorite combo is:

    8oz so delicious coconut milk (vanilla)
    1 scoop Chocolate Whey Protien
    1 serving of frozen strawberries

    It comes out to about 14 oz, and has 16 grams of protein...and 280 calories. It is so creamy and so tasty. Some times I toss in frozen bananas and I want to pick up some flax seed and spinach to slip in also, but keep forgetting.

    Make your own its cheaper and super quick, took me 3 minutes this morning and I put it in a travel mug and sipped it on my way to work.

  2. I am STILL very uninterested in food. I could actually care less about food in general. I LOVE IT though, really. My mind has all sorts of room for other things in the spot that was once occupied by thoughts of food.

    You are so right food = fuel. LOVE FEELING LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!

  3. WHY do I have to click 4 times to publish my comment. Aaargh. You and I don't even have that code cracking thing set up where you have to type gibberish to post a comment. Ugh.

  4. Hi I read your blog regularly, but this is my first comment. :-) I am pre-op VSG but anyway I wish I felt that way about food and then again part of me (the part that loves to eat) doesn't.

    It's weird.

    Anyway congrats on your weight loss so far, looking forward to continuing to watch your jouney!

  5. Hi y'all! Oh Jen, $7 for a smoothie is ridiculous. I fell for it as a lunchtime thing, but I should get back in the habit of making smoothies at home for breakfast. My daughter loves them, too! (not my sons - smoothie for breakfast does not float with those two, haha). Yours sounds good! I bought some coconut milk last night in your honor.

    Sheila - I love it, too!! It is so crazily different from how I felt before. I am totally going to capitalize on it in case things change later on...and I hear you on the button pushing to post, I think I've got it set at the minimal number of hurdles to jump! Still too many for me, too.

    Hi Cindy, and welcome! Thank you for reading my blog, I'm glad you are here! The changing feelings about food are a little discombobulating, but worth it, I truly feel. For one, it may not last. I am using it to maximize my success with the surgery. Even if it does last, I am still enjoying high quality meals - just differently. This morning I had sauteed spinach with garlic, soy sauce, rice wine and water chestnuts. It was my second post-op foray into vegetables, and it was a hit! Still tastes great, just a tiny portion, and then when it was done - it was out of sight, out of mind. Really makes me laugh - I told a friend this morning when I did Weight Watchers, etc. I made a conscious decision 1000 times a day not to eat various things. Now? I don't even think about it. Crazy.

  6. Laugh - I am always unsure about replying in comments. I know that I comment on blogs, but don't often think to check back to read additional comments. So, if you see my responses, wonderful, if not, I understand perfectly. ;)

  7. Thanks! Can I just tell you that when I was on WW I was OBSESSED with food and always hungry! It was overwhelming and I was on the brink of quitting regularly even when I was losing weight. I am really looking forward to it NOT being like that. I don't mind planning..but it felt like a lot.

    I figured out a system to figure out what blog posts I responded to so I can check back from time to time on responses. I click the little yellow star next to the post title in my Google Reader. :-)