Thursday, November 8, 2012

SBUX is Still My Boyfriend and Other Important Stuff

I (Heart) SBUX

I know you have been hanging on the edge of your seat, wondering how I've been braving my breakup with SBUX that was due to take place on 10/16, when they changed some of their refill policies. As you may recall, I drink tons of Earl Grey tea with cold soy, all day at work. I buy one in the morning and my very most favoritest SBUX location in the world gives free refills all day. I was told it was switching to a one-for-one refill policy, which would roughly triple my tea addiction cost. Plus, they charge for soy now.

A lot of worry for nothing. :) Still getting free refills all day, and you don't get charged for soy if it's less than four ounces, and mine is really just a splash. So we are still BFFs, and the boxes of soy milk and Earl Grey I brought in to work to...gasp...make myself still sit at my desk, unopened. I am terribly spoiled, I know. But don't you fret, SBUX still makes gobs of money off me and all my buddies here in the building.

I am NERVOUS about the upcoming surgery on Monday! But excited. But nervous. I think I'll just do a brain dump list here rather than try to write organized paragraphs (which is never much of a concern of mine).

Jailbird and Why-Don't-I-Just-Plan-Ahead-A-Little-Organization-Would-Be-A-Good-Thing
Someone called me four times collect from jail last night while I was on my group bike ride. WHO? I received four short voice mails from an automated system telling me to "press one to accept the call from this inmate," but said inmate's name was cut off on the recording. I queried the VINE system (a tidbit of knowledge from my police volunteer program) but none of the people I tried were in jail. Hey, that's kind of a fun party game! Question: Someone is calling you from jail, but you don't know who it is. Who do you think of first? For me, it was my X (not that I think he'd be in jail, but I wanted to make sure someone had the kids), then my sister (ohhhh, for no particular reason, haha). Then I ran that guy's name that actually did go to jail...then Lance Armstrong (having no particular reason to think he'd be in jail, unless cycling and smoking is now a crime, not just a stupidity). Nope, all clear. Color me stumped.

At the time, I didn't know the calls were coming from a jail, but I did know they were coming while I was racing one of my new bike buddies up a very steep hill and getting my ass kicked, so the phone was ANNOYING THE SNOT OUT OF ME. But I needed to leave it on, so the Strava app could record the trip and shower me with medals. Very gold-star oriented. Super shallow. :) Don't care. I would have turned the ringer off but a) I was racing and b) those bicycling jackets are pretty slick with their pocket in the back and all, but I had become the joke of the evening because every time I got in that pocket I was dumping my emergency cash on the ground. Um, the group actually had to stop once for that, on our way out of the P&R, because I had forgotten to turn on Strava. And the big diesel truck also had to stop while I picked up my cash from all over the middle of the lane. And then I had to ride up the first steep hill out of the P&R with my phone in my mouth because I couldn't get it back into my pocket AND pedal with my feet clipped in AND not fall over AND not drop my money again. And the "sweep" (e.g. person riding in back to make sure that dumbasses who drop money and can't find their own coat pocket don't get left behind) who was my new bikey friend that carpools me and brings me fenders was having a fun time teasing me about the phone in my mouth. What is it with men? Let's just say it all sounded dirty and I was busy making sure I didn't choke on my phone or fall over.

It was not my most organized evening. But it was very fun. There were some real slowpokes in our group, though. At the P&R, we split into two groups from the outset, the fast people I rode with last week and a slower group. I stayed with the slower group because I am still getting used to these pedals and I didn't know how much I'd be falling, haha. Also, I hadn't eaten yesterday (oops) and I had remembered this on the bus home and chugged a protein shake, but I didn't think passing out on the ride would be so good. And I had forgotten a water bottle (DOH!) and had to grab one that I found in the trunk of my car with old Crystal Light in it and I really didn't want to drink it if I didn't have to. PLUS I had to pee super badly starting on the bus ride on the way home and I had to pee super badly every minute of the 20 mile ride. It was a very, very disorganized ride. I left the office too late and did not prepare well for it, clearly. When will I learn?

Afterward, four of us went out for dinner and drinks. Very fun. I was in an interesting man position, in that two of them were fawning over me (seriously, at one point I had a man playing with each earring that I was wearing - Sabrina's fancy leather Danglez, I can't wait to tell her). And I'm not particularly interested in either of them, and I was telling my MTB friend yesterday, my bikey friend had better not ask me out because I am having the TIME OF MY LIFE and no one better screw it up. MTB friend says that there aren't enough women cyclists to go around, and men cyclists who both want a woman and want to ride their bikes all the time are looking.

The new guy was nice enough and I had chatted with him on the ride a fair amount (since we were riding at a snail's pace, it seemed - I really need to be in that fast group. I am not super fast but I am faster than that and I am ridiculously competitive for someone with no skills. This is an ongoing theme in my life, hahaha. So "leisurely social" rides are really not my thing. I want to feel like I'm dying. At one point last night I actually told the group leader to shut up and pedal, hahahaha). Anyway, new guy was nice enough and get this, he is a doctor and an engineer (wow. Some biotech something or 'nother) but when we got to the restaurant it was four of us: me, bikey friend, Dr. Engineer and his friend, e.g. the woman who made us ride so freaking slow all night long. Anyway, they are friends and they are talking about a Halloween party they went to together and the long and the short of it is I get to see the pictures of him in his Halloween costume...which was him dressed in drag, complete with feather boa and fishnet stockings.

This is never, ever, ever a way for a man to impress me. Lower on the scale than mustaches. :)

A Tale of Two Almas
I'm new to the interconnected bloggy world of real life people you know blogging about the same sorts of topics. Sure, I've been blogging awhile, and yes, I have lots of WLS bloggy friends. But now I'm meeting all these real life running bloggers! Exciting! Fun! A little confusing. So, some time ago, I met up with my longtime IRL friend Kim for ten nano-seconds while she was in town visiting her imaginary friend Alma. I ran down on my lunch break, said a very quick hello and parted ways. Kim talks lots about Alma because she is a super cool chick, so I already feel like I know her. Know her well enough, in fact, that at some point I see her on facebook and befriend her. Find out things like Alma is a Latina musician who plays some pretty big Seattle bars. She loves sushi. I love sushi, too!

Then it gets confusing because awhile back, I know that Kim and Alma are back east running half marathons. I even text Kim one night, "how is Alma checking in at a Seattle sushi restaurant?" There was context to this as Facebook Alma posted a picture of a sushi dish that had raw eggs on it and I told Kim in a hundred years I couldn't imagine her (Kim) eating it. Kim was understandably confused. Me, not making the perhaps most intuitive conclusion that we were talking about two different Almas, decides that facebook is "glitchy." Sigh. Sometimes even I don't understand me.

Later, Kim tags me on facebook in a post with the real Alma. I'm still not getting it. I say to her, "in my whole life I have never met an Alma and you know TWO??" Kim patiently says no, there is only one Alma. I realize that I've befriended a total stranger.

(Coming back to add: Ummm, I'm no dope. But I should mention that Facebook Alma doesn't have a picture of herself on her profile. And somewhere there was an overlap of these two groups, because there was a REASON I befriended this particular Facebook Alma. I am thinking there may be overlap with the Women Runners of King County Group or something. I promise I didn't just go trolling facebook for Almas, haha.)

However, now the two Almas are hopelessly jumbled in my mind, so at the Snohomish River Run last month, it was right on the tip of my tongue to ask Alma how her concert had gone the night before, and how cool that she does these shows! I believe it was only a discussion of Wonder Woman socks that diverted my attention from Alma's musical pursuits.

Oy. I've got to unfriend the sushi-eating musician, because she has me utterly confused. But she lives such a fun life. :) I'll get it. Kim tells me this morning that the Real Alma and I are very much alike and that for non-gay people, she is surprised at how passionate we both are for gay marriage rights in Washington. Oh, Kim, you small-town Oregon Republican, you. Bless your heart. :) Here in Seattle, especially working for Seattle, well, I've got more gay friends than I can shake at stick at.

Two more calls from the jail this morning! The first one - I cannot even understand the inmate's name. I decline. Oh, also, it's a FREE call, not a collect call. The second call - I accept. I ask, "Who is this??"


Um, I have no idea who you are.

Is Amber there?

You have the wrong number.

Is this xxx-xxx-xxxx? (he didn't say x's)

Yes. But I've had this number for years. You've got the wrong number.

Poor guy. In jail and Amber gave him a fake number. I wonder why?

He was very polite, though.


  1. Wow, Surgery on Monday?! SO exciting! I will be thinking about you:) Glad SBUX didn't mess with your free refills:)

  2. Your paragraphs were organized and funny as ehll (<- I learned that switcheroo thing from you).

    You made me laugh not once not twice but several times as I read this post. I loved the jail question and then searching Lance, and then the dr drag and finally the tell of two almas had me rolling. ;)

    In all honesty, I frequently mix you up with Lap Band Gal because you are both so cute with those flirty hair cuts and active life styles. :)

  3. Poor, poor Luis.

    Good grief, Starbucks, jail, biking and politics. You really are all over it this morning.

    Nice to talk to you on my way to work:)

  4. Hahhahaha. I just spent 15 minutes reading your post and giggling while at work. Dear coworkers, I swear I'm not crazy. :)

    I'll be sending good thoughts your way on Monday. When you're done, you're going to have a more banging body than I do. :)