Thursday, December 30, 2010

Disappointment Turned into a (Small) Win

My precertification for the surgery was denied. :( I was supposed to see the surgeon monthly for three months before the surgery. I saw him 9/30, 10/28...12/10 and 12/30. I missed my November appointment because:
  1. It snowed and the city shut down for three days the Mon-Wed before Thanksgiving;
  2. The Thanksgiving holiday (Thu/Fri); and
  3. My surgeon's wife had a baby on 11/19 and he was in and out of the office for several weeks.
Pure carelessness on my part. I should have had a crystal-clear understanding that "under the surgeon's care for three months" meant "seeing the surgeon at least once every calendar month." Not having an appointment that was date-stamped "NOVEMBER" has temporarily sidelined my plans! Hope is not lost, however. My surgeon is talking to the medical director for the insurance today and will plead my case RE: the missed appointment.

Ah well. It will work out somehow. The surgeon said they will approve the gastric sleeve, once I satisfy this calendar-month requirement. That was my big concern: being forced to choose between an approval of the RNY after I had already made the decision to have the sleeve. I just wasn't sure what I would do in such a scenario.

Possibilities are:
  1. The insurance has a change of heart and approves my 1/11 date;
  2. I am given a "make-up" month where I see the surgeon in January and can have a February surgery; or
  3. I have to see the surgeon for three consecutive calendar months, starting with December - thus, a March surgery date. We'll see.
But! I promised you a small win. I am a TOTAL emotional eater. So you know after leaving my surgeon's office, bitterly disappointed and without a surgery date, I was ready to scrap this liquid diet in a big way. "I am going to stop for lunch on my way to the office," I told myself.

I'd actually be okay with that, in theory. I don't know how this will play out, it is not unreasonable to put the liquid diet on hold temporarily, etc.

However. I was not thinking, "Gosh, I'm a little hungry and I can have a small healthy meal in lieu of a protein shake." I was thinking, "SOMEONE JUST TOLD ME SOMETHING I DID NOT WANT TO HEAR AND I AM VERY UPSET ABOUT IT AND NEED COMFORT. NOW."

I did not stop for lunch. I got a protein shake out of my purse and drank it. This type of challenge is what will NOT go away with the surgery. For months now, in preparation of the surgery, I have been asking myself how I will handle my emotional eating/head hunger issues. What will I do when I'm bored? What will I do when the kids stress me out? What will I do when I am sad? Stressed? Lonely?

What will I do when I am very disappointed? Will I scrap two+ days of effort on a liquid diet? How will I feel if I get "the call" from the surgeon saying my surgery is back on for 1/11? Do I trust myself to eat a healthy meal in this emotional state of mind? If so, I could use it for my day's meal and have a protein shake for dinner. Do I really trust myself to have a protein shake for dinner, when my habit is to have a big dinner?

No. I decided that when I had my big girl panties back on, after I've heard a definitive "no" on the 1/11 surgery date, if I would like to discontinue the liquid diet, it will be a conscious, well-thought out decision. Not a "you hurt my feelings so I am going to eat myself into a stupor" decision.

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand how frustrating that is! My hubby was supposed to be sleeved the end of Dec. Well the end of Dec. is tomorrow and no sleeve. There was lots of bumbling and fumbling from the dr. office and then from the insurance (our wait time is 6 consecutive months, and yes they stressed consecutive...argh!) but the short version of his story is no sleeve...yet. So I completely get your frustration.

    And that is SO wonderful about not diving head-first into food. You are right, that the surgery won't fix a stressful situation, so it is great that you are getting a handle on the emotional aspect of eating now. Good job!

    Fingers crossed they approve you for your date!