Disappointment Turned into a (Small) Win

My precertification for the surgery was denied. :( I was supposed to see the surgeon monthly for three months before the surgery. I saw him 9/30, 10/28...12/10 and 12/30. I missed my November appointment because:

1. It snowed and the city shut down for three days the Mon-Wed before Thanksgiving;
2. The Thanksgiving holiday (Thu/Fri); and
3. My surgeon's wife had a baby on 11/19 and he was in and out of the office for several weeks.

Pure carelessness on my part. I should have had a crystal-clear understanding that "under the surgeon's care for three months" meant "seeing the surgeon at least once every calendar month." Not having an appointment that was date-stamped "NOVEMBER" has temporarily sidelined my plans! Hope is not lost, however. My surgeon is talking to the medical director for the insurance today and will plead my case RE: the missed appointment.

Ah well. It will work out somehow. The surgeon said they will approve the gastric sleeve, once I satisfy this calendar-month requirement. That was my big concern: being forced to choose between an approval of the RNY after I had already made the decision to have the sleeve. I just wasn't sure what I would do in such a scenario.

Possibilities are:

1. The insurance has a change of heart and approves my 1/11 date;
2. I am given a "make-up" month where I see the surgeon in January and can have a February surgery; or
3. I have to see the surgeon for three consecutive calendar months, starting with December - thus, a March surgery date. We'll see.

But! I promised you a small win. I am a TOTAL emotional eater. So you know after leaving my surgeon's office, bitterly disappointed and without a surgery date, I was ready to scrap this liquid diet in a big way. "I am going to stop for lunch on my way to the office," I told myself.

I'd actually be okay with that, in theory. I don't know how this will play out, it is not unreasonable to put the liquid diet on hold temporarily, etc.

However. I was not thinking, "Gosh, I'm a little hungry and I can have a small healthy meal in lieu of a protein shake." I was thinking, "SOMEONE JUST TOLD ME SOMETHING I DID NOT WANT TO HEAR AND I AM VERY UPSET ABOUT IT AND NEED COMFORT. NOW."

I did not stop for lunch. I got a protein shake out of my purse and drank it. This type of challenge is what will NOT go away with the surgery. For months now, in preparation of the surgery, I have been asking myself how I will handle my emotional eating/head hunger issues. What will I do when I'm bored? What will I do when the kids stress me out? What will I do when I am sad? Stressed? Lonely?

What will I do when I am very disappointed? Will I scrap two+ days of effort on a liquid diet? How will I feel if I get "the call" from the surgeon saying my surgery is back on for 1/11? Do I trust myself to eat a healthy meal in this emotional state of mind? If so, I could use it for my day's meal and have a protein shake for dinner. Do I really trust myself to have a protein shake for dinner, when my habit is to have a big dinner?

No. I decided that when I had my big girl panties back on, after I've heard a definitive "no" on the 1/11 surgery date, if I would like to discontinue the liquid diet, it will be a conscious, well-thought out decision. Not a "you hurt my feelings so I am going to eat myself into a stupor" decision.