Wednesday, May 25, 2011


I have thought about blogging this week, really I have. When I haven't been consumed by the crippling pain that is the mangled muscles of my ruined thighs. YOWSA! Okay, Saturday afternoon I did two hundred squats. Saturday evening I walked like I was drunk. Sunday I was near paralyzed by pain. Monday I was unable to walk straight. Tuesday I was just incredibly sore. Today I actually would have hit the stairs again had my friend been able to join me, but she wasn't, so I pretended I couldn't find the staircase without her.

Tomorrow. Back on track tomorrow. I will be taking it easy - probably 2x20 flights instead of 2x44. Wow. Yes, I *could* do 200 squats but in retrospect, probably shouldn't have, hahaha.

Oy. Such a stressful time. I have less than a week to find a house or I am forcefully committed to sleeping on the couch for another year. Ask me how badly I want to find a house. Just ask. I have two remaining leads and I am pouring energy into them but it is really out of my control at this point. Oh yes, I have a third option: abandon kids and choose a home freely without regard to school boundaries. I'm not in school, what do I care?? ;)

Because life is never crazy enough, I initiated conversation with the mother of my youngest's bio-dad. I *could* spiral you into this whole other aspect of my life, but then you'd be half-bonkers too, so I try to keep the focus here on weight loss surgery and my changing body, habits and attitudes. But this has been a big thing and it touches on the emotional/stress eating that has always plagued me. I'm happy to say that I have not been stress/emotional eating, although I have been gnawing my fingernails, another bad habit of that same ilk. The conversations have gone extremely well - better than I could have ever hoped, but it is still stressful and now we have agreed to a paternity test, of which I both absolutely know the result and am completely and utterly terrified to test. Someday when I am feeling less like this: (((((ARGHHHHHH IS THIS REALLY MY LIFE????)))))) I'll expound upon this journey. Suffice to say it is positive, I am hopeful it will ultimately be helpful to my little guy and I am glad I opened the door (with my ex's full support - this isn't something I would do without engaging him).

Anyway. Tomorrow at 4:30 p.m. it will be my absolute most favoritest hour spent in my office building, a little time I call "naked with a hot black man," and my insurance calls "therapeutic massage - $15/copay." I have been looking forward to this for weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkksssss. At 4:30, everything will seem better, if only for a little while. Immediately afterward, friends and I are going to see Hangover 2, which better not have Mel Gibson in it or I swear I will spit nails. (Mel - God bless his Road Warrior heart that I adored for many years, gets no more money from me after the misogynistic/homophobic/anti-semitic/you-name-your-hatred-he-seems-to-have-it rants. I washed my hands of him, and I know at one point they planned a cameo for him in this movie. They better not "surprise" me. And I'd watch that ridiculous beaver movie, too, darn him.)


  1. Wondered where you've been! S has a "man date" tonight with his boyfriends to see Hangover 2. He's so excited, been planning it for weeks. He gets positively giddy when the commercials come on the TV.

    Sorry about your quads. Do you have a rolling pin you could roll them with? Seriously! There are "runner's tools" out there to buy, but you might give it a try tonight. Your massage tomorrow should make you feel lots better.

  2. Sorry you have all this stress going on! Hopefully the massage helps at least a little bit!