Sunday, November 28, 2010

CPAP = Claustrophobia, Pester, Aggravate, Peeve

I feel ashamed of such a lame acronym, but that's all I have for you tonight. I've been attempting to bond with my CPAP for a little over a month now. I hate it.

It doesn't help that I know I have very mild sleep problems and won't need the machine for long after my surgery, or after I lose any amount of weight. That makes it even more of an annoying invasion of my nights.

When I first put it on, it seems good. Ahh, yes, I think, that seems good. A little push of air. Not disruptive, not bothersome. Mask fits well, hose doesn't get in my way. All is well.

At some point during the night, it becomes INTENSELY annoying to me. I don't think I've slept through the night once since I got the darned thing. Not on the nights I've used it, anyway. There have been several nights that I have not used it.

I have a history of this sort of thing. I'm a terrible jaw-clencher and teeth-grinder. I have a nightguard, and I can humor myself and put it in before bed. I rarely will wake up with it in, however. My subconscious self decides at some point during the night to do away with it: tucking it in the medicine cabinet, throwing it on the floor, hiding it under my pillow.

Same with the CPAP. I generally find I am getting up to go to the bathroom (something I do not normally do) and "forgetting" to put it back on. Then awaking in the morning a little surprised that I'm not wearing it.

Oh, I hate that thing. I know it's supposed to be good for me, but it is good for me in a terribly unpleasant way. I will be so happy to bid it adieu!

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