Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Sex and Candy. No, Really, This Time.

Hahaha, okay, that last post was supposed to be about sex and candy, but I derailed talking about my bike, because, really, isn't biking FUN?? SO FUN!! 

We can dispense with the candy talk quickly: no more candy!! I reminded myself that I spent $9K on a tummy tuck, and candy is not a very smart way to celebrate that decision, haha. And Sheila reminded me that my six-month post-op visit will be coming up in May, and yes, I will post new tummy pictures! You know what I'm packing under here? Some ab muscles! Not a lot, but they are definitely here for my amusement and semi-constant admiring in the mirror, or palpating while I'm sitting at my desk. Sounds dirty but it isn't. :)

You want the real scoop on my belly - the tummy tuck has me wanting/needing to address some issues for reals. When I have seen my plastic surgeon for post-op appointments, he is not pleased with my bloated gut. I'm detracting from the aesthetics of his work by failing to address my digestion issues, I'm afraid. Golly, I'm lactose intolerant and also, post-WLS, my little digestion system just doesn't move things through the way it should. Consequence: bloated gut. 

If I can address this, e.g. stop eating foods that blow me up like a balloon and start doing things that make my intestines function like a well-oiled (hahaha, good pun) machine, then I will have the flat tummy I have earned paid for. I'm getting this resolved before my six-month appointment, and I'm also working on ab muscles. I know my plastic surgeon loves my results and I know he would really love to use me as a poster child for the operation. I'll do my part for my follow-up pictures! Oh, and for me, haha.

Okay, that's the candy part - now for the sex part. This is really my favorite thing to talk about, anyway. :) Greg picked me up on the motorcycle again yesterday...he has figured out the way to my heart is that darn motorcycle! I just absolutely love riding on the back of it. Do I miss having my own motorcycle? Hmm, maybe. But he's such a good rider, I really think I'd rather just hang onto the back of him. Plus, this is one of those luxury cycles, I have my own seat back and platforms for my feet. I ride holding my cup of tea, haha.

He picked me up yesterday, and even though I planned all sorts of smart things like keeping him away from the kids for awhile (although I did talk to them both about Mr. W and about seeing Greg again), I invited him to dinner last night. He quickly accepted. When he walked in the front door last night, my 7yo came down the stairs and yelled, "YOU'RE BACK!!!!" and ran and gave him a giant hug. That was the cutest thing ever. And I really share the sentiment. Cautiously.

Part of my thinking in letting him be around the kids is that really, this is the crux of it all. I can chalk some of the other stuff (body issues) etc up to his cluelessness and my own emotional baggage related to my obesity and weight loss. I have to, in order to move on. But the kids...all three of 'em....well, they're not going anywhere. This was an early-and-often issue between Greg and I last time around. His kids are older, almost 16 and 18, and mine are younger and more multitudinous: 14, 12 and 7. A very, very, very young 7.

We have talked a lot about this since reconnecting. What has changed for him? He knows the kids aren't going anywhere. Further, I've told him my older two are opting to stay home more frequently rather than go with their dad. 

He says he was crazy to let me go and that my kids are part of me and he wants me, so he wants them. That he misses having a family around. His daughter, 16, is no longer living with him. We have discussed things like my kids' school district: before, this was a real issue for him because he didn't want to move out of his daughter's district and I will not move out of mine (although, truth be told, this was an area where I pretended to be willing to negotiate, but I was not, in fact, willing to negotiate. That old Julie is not in this relationship the second time around, haha.). We've talked a lot about the kids, so I guess it's really time for him to put his money where his mouth is if we're going to continue seeing each other. We already know that between *us* the chemistry is excellent, we have very similar goals and plans for the future, etc. Fundamentally, it's just a matter of whether or not is willing and able to embrace three kids and all that comes with it.

There's other issues, too, of course. I'm a fitness fiend now, don'tcha know. I want to be able to ride my bike, and run, and whatever. He is not a fitness fiend. There's the smoking: of which I have not seen any evidence of since we've reconnected. He has not smoked in front of me at all. If that continues, we're golden.  And honestly, it might be fun to have him ride, but for me, this is pretty solitary stuff - it didn't mean a lot one way or the other to ride with Mr. W.

You know what I am thinking, though...I need to get Greg interested in bicycle maintenance. Now *that* was a huge gift from Mr. W, he loves to tinker with bikes and mine runs like a top. Greg is also uber-handy and I will just need to convince him how fun bike maintenance is! Score!

More to come.


  1. Multitudinous? Is that one of you "I've got a Master's degree" words? I had to sound it out, smarty.

    I'm glad the 7yo is so excited to see Greg. That is awesome. I guess, since I have one (ish), I'm mostly worried about the 14yo and how she adapts/perceives/handles "the men". And, she's my favorite, besides you.

  2. Well what do you know. I come back to check on Mr W and Greg is back. My my.....can't wait to hear how it all unfolds!!! You're better than the Lifetime movie network! I have to admit I really enjoy reading about your adventures with men!!!

  3. If you are looking for abs, consider Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I am on level one and done it for 10 days, and I have these vertical lines about three or four inches on either side of my belly. I've NEVER had that before.

    Alas, I have not had a tummy tuck.

    I have never had any sort of definition in my belly before. I am liking Jillian.

  4. Ha! I have a motorcycle, but cannot stand being on the back of anyone else's! Call me a control freak, it just scares me so bad! (I don't even like being on the back of my dad's motorcycle, which is something I've done since I was itty bitty). I guess I trust no one!