- Saturday: my son's football game. Ugh, this will be the first game of the season in bad weather! I
was volunteered to work the chain crew. What does this mean?? They tell me I need no experience.Whew. It's bad when the team mom calls you out for not volunteering for any activities all season. Eek. Their volunteer activities are hard! Announcing, keeping time clock, video recording, chain crew...I don't know what the heck I'm doing out there. Don't they have volunteer opps to drop off snacks??
- Sunday: Jen from Runner Maybe, Alli and I are doing the Cupcake Classic Virtual 5K. The best part after what will surely be a long, rainy run is that we are having cupcakes afterward, haha. I expect I'll let my boys have a cupcake, too, even though I doubt they will do the 5K. And that's okay, because we're meeting at the high school and doing the 5K while the boys do a LACROSSE CLINIC. I know nothing about LAX except that Blake needs a spring sport and doesn't want to play baseball next year, and Reid needs a sport that he can run and run and run. This is a three-week Sunday clinic that we are all looking forward to trying out.
Eh, maybe there will be some bike riding thrown in there. I sure hope so, but it's supposed to be dreary all weekend. I don't have any rain gear...yet. I am working on it. I have also stumbled onto two pairs of bike shorts that someone is selling for cheap on the bicycle club bulletin board. Size small. Am I a size small? I think so - but I am sure I will be after the tummy tuck, anyway. In an interesting twist, the woman who is selling them is some sort of counselor or something - we talked on the phone for a few minutes while I was pulled off the side of the road on last night's ride. Anyway, she knows my weight loss surgeon and acted in some official guest capacity at the bariatric surgery support group. She seemed very nice and was interested in hearing about my journey - which came up after I said I wasn't sure if I'd fit the size small shorts now, but I bet I will in a month or so, haha. Lots of flab being removed - it's why I'm hesitant to commit to any new bike clothes (or any clothes, for that matter) until after the surgery!
And now for something completely different.
Ugh, I am so blah today. It's the first rainy day in 81 days, that might be part of it. I'm sorry, Seattle, I love you so much, but I hate the rain. I am eating soup for lunch - and I haven't eaten soup in probably two years. I'm not a big soup girl. :)
I am lonely. Biking is *so fun* and I am so looking forward to getting more and more into it, but wow, I sure default quickly to lonely when I'm not fully occupied. I was thinking about it: I am not someone who *ever* thinks, "I just want to be alone." What is that? I think, when I was married, I probably felt that way a lot. X and I did not have a good marriage, so by default, we were just apart from each other a lot.
Anyway, I say this because I am coming into the hardest time of the year for me, and I know it. I love the bright sunny days of fall, but they quickly turn into long, dark depressive days for me. This year, I hope I will have enough to keep myself occupied, what with taking and posting photos of my flat tummy on the blog, bouncing quarters off my new abs, etc.
When I got divorced, even as fat as I was, I never expected I'd have such a difficult time finding a new partner. I mean, come on! I've got it going on, girl. I'm highly educated, terribly witty, well-employed, and cute as a button. (Look at me giving myself a dreary fall day pep talk, haha.) Sure, I'm bankrupt, and I have three kids, and I pointed out to a coworker yesterday that I haven't been on an airplane since 1996 and that was only my second trip. I'm not the pinnacle of interesting and worldly, in other words. But I have redeeming qualities.
I'm totally burned out on dating, in general, and online dating, in particular. I've decided that weird men gravitate toward online dating. Lance Armstrong and I have run our course - it was a very short course indeed, as I knew it would be from the start. We are very different people. Um, all he does is work and ride his bike. (All I *want* to do is work and ride my bike, haha, but I am forced to have other interests and obligations.) If he is not enough to make me take a hardline position against dating alcoholics, well then, I don't know what will be. He can't go into bars, he says I can have a drink around him but that seems wrong. The odd-but-true clincher for me was this week when he came by before work to see my new bike. He had been smoking. Here's a guy who rides 70+ miles with his friends every Sunday, who still wore nicotine patches when he sees his ex, and now tasted like cigarettes at six o'clock in the morning. Sigh. His addictive nature + my addictive nature = No Good. I couldn't decide if I should be irritated about the cigarette or bum one off him, haha. KIDDING! OMG, there have been times, of course, when I have wanted one again, but I am holding true to my promise to myself to never touch one again. Quitting is such an incredible hassle. Even my plastic surgeon is making me take a $35 nicotine test to prove I'm not smoking before he'll agree to the surgery. (Google image search "skin necrosis+plastic surgery" - gross.)
I saw that Clint Eastwood-eyed motor cycle rider a couple times, too. OMG, B-O-R-I-N-G. Nice enough guy, but holy isht, boring. And I'm not dating from the Federal Way pond anymore, do you know how far away from me that is? (Well, like 25 miles - but it's 25 agonizingly long miles.) I've got a friend here at work who online dates with large geographical settings. I set mine to the absolute minimum, which is usually 25 miles. I don't want to have to book a flight to say hello, haha.
Anyway, it's a lull, and I have plenty on my plate, anyway. It's just a tough time of year for me. I am actually planning to take a chance on a waterproof cycling jacket - even if it ends up being a bit big after the surgery, it will keep me on the road until the surgery date, and I think that's the best thing for me.