Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Surgeon Reality Check and Dating News, Too

Greetings, bloggies! I had my follow-up appointment with the VSG surgeon yesterday. Let's see that's my 10+ month follow-up? I go back in six months and will have blood work done for that one.

My surgeon - I just love him to death. He is a great guy. He is also a total pragmatist and pretty straight to the point. So, his opening line, was basically, "hmm, you've done very well - down 18.5 pounds since your last appointment three months ago. I assume you want to lose more?" Me, "uh, yes."

We went over my eating habits. My surgeon is not one who will accuse you of eating too little. I told him I don't eat much during the day, but consume lots of tea with whole milk. Probably 12-15 ounces of whole milk over the course of the day. Sometimes skim milk, sometimes half and half.

Surgeon: grimace.

Me: Uh, well, since I don't take in many calories, I figured the whole milk will keep me going, calorie-wise?

Surgeon: Cut the whole milk. Use skim or none.

So here's what he says, and it makes sense, in a no-fair-I-wanted-to-stop-battling-my-weight way. He said at this point it's all about cutting out a couple hundred calories a day. Skim milk versus whole milk, there's a bunch of calories saved. The weight loss will become increasingly difficult as I get closer to goal, as I get further out from my surgery date, as my food intake increases. In response, yes, the weight loss has slowed down a bunch, and yes, my food intake is definitely up from when I carried a four ounce container of food to work and couldn't finish it.

He talked about cutting out the calories wherever possible, and bumping up the exercise to burn calories whenever possible. He said that cutting calories (e.g. skim vs whole milk) would keep the weight loss moving, adding calories would stop the weight loss and ultimately lead to weight gain. He said over 3-5 years, they do see weight regain in WLS patients, because they eat more, slip in more calories throughout the day, etc.

None of this is a surprise, of course. I could use the reality check on the added calories - my head said that I wasn't eating much, so whole milk was good (and tastier). In reality, I know that my calorie intake has creeped as I eat bigger meals at night, or when I do eat.

He also told me I can look into plastic surgery at this point for my sagging belly and boobs. And thighs and bat wings. Free Julie will become Franken-Julie. He said that while I will continue to lose weight, my period of  massive rapid loss is behind me, and anything I lose now won't result in the sagginess that would be detrimental to a post-plastic surgery bod. I am a bit pouty about my massive, rapid loss days being behind me, but I know it's true. I am still looking for the magic wand to finish the job!

Okay - there were other developments this weekend. These were on the DATING front. Woo-woo! Well, it was an encouraging weekend, as well as a little disheartening.

I put my profile up on one of the freebie sites late last week. Happily, I immediately received many emails from various men. (People who think that fat women can generate the same interest from men as thinner women are flat out wrong, I am sorry to say. I have been on both sides of this coin, and the number, and quality, of responses does not compare.) Most of the emails I received were...eh.

I did meet one very nice man for coffee on Saturday afternoon. I would not say that we were a match, even though he had tons of good qualities: great job, no drama divorce, just bought his own house, etc. I liked him, and we spent a couple hours together. I think, quite probably, that I am too wild for him. He likes jazz, I like Kanye West. He doesn't drink, I drink regularly. He is quiet and soft-spoken, I am not particularly quiet (or loud) and outspoken. He did say he really liked my directness and humor. He has stayed in touch since Saturday, which is nice, but I am thinking no connection on that one. I could be being a bit premature on that one, but part of that is my own baggage. My ex was a nice, quiet man...I need to amp it up next time around.

Note: In between times that I have been working and coming back to this entry, this guy has contacted me again asking to go out tomorrow night. Arrangements are being made. :)

On Saturday night, I coaxed forced myself to attend a meetup.com function - a comedy club in my town. Literally, I had just pulled into my own garage with my bag of microwave popcorn and Sour Skittles (oops, I didn't talk to the surgeon about that one), and I planned to veg out on the couch and watch a movie. The comedy club thing was on my radar, but I dread walking in to stuff like that alone. Just do it, I said. Ugh, I decided to drive by, take a look at the venue and maybe go in. I gave myself numerous opportunities to throw in the towel (can't find it - oh, there it is; no close parking - oops, I found a spot right by the door). I went in, the people were so nice! The show hadn't started, and the MC greeted me - he was one of the meetup hosts. He ushered me over to the group, where introductions were quickly made. There was quite a group of people there, probably 15-20 meetup.com people. I relaxed quickly and enjoyed myself.

Whilst there, I met a man - very nice, and we shared laughs and groans at what were really pretty bad comedians. :) Afterward, he walked me to my car and we exchanged numbers. He is an east coast transplant, works in a high-level techie job, and, said in my best east coast accent, is "wicked funny." (Here, I am channeling Julianne Moore and Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock in that hilarious storyline.) We saw each other yesterday for a few hours and I like him. Again, maybe not my match, but definitely worth pursuing. He and I have also been talking since then, and I do like him. Wicked funny. Another fairly quiet guy, but with lots of interests (some of them too geeky for me).

My type, or what appeals to me right now, is more on the testosterone-laden end, the burly man's man sort of thing. But this type has its disadvantages, too, and really, with as little dating as I've done - who am I to say what's best for me? Not without getting out there and exploring it a bit, anyway. But I do really go for the well-employed blue collar types that are fun to be around. We'll see. The comedy club guy is actually a busy outdoor enthusiast, too...skiing, kayaking, other good stuff. I would say he has definite possibilities.

My friend has pointed out that I block myself from enjoying things, and I do. I do this with Christmas presents (well, maybe I really wanted x instead of y), men (oh, look here's two men that meet all my qualifications but maybe I'm not too interested in either...), jobs (ugh, I am so tired of this job, but maybe that job would be better...but that job has blah blah blah to contend with...). I do, I really do this. It's like I keep myself from being happy, or want to keep all those options open until they disappear.

And so, I am going to entertain myself with these two men, and be grateful to be entering a position of being able to date freely and have interesting, appealing men interested in me. We'll see where it goes!


  1. Maybe it's easier said than done, but try and let go of the past with your ex and not let that color your view of men who may be perfectly well-suited to you. But---if you didn't feel chemistry, then I say forget it because that's not something you can force. And now that I'm about 12 pounds from goal, I realized today that I probably don't drink enough water. I could probably use a more thorough reality check though.

  2. WOW! What an updated! Sounds like your appointment went well with your DR which is awesome.

    Way to go to the meet up I would have totally bailed. :)

  3. Two men to choose from...you go girl! Seriously, that is great that you are getting out more and enjoying life AND I think it's important to view your past and see where maybe you could use improvement (i.e. self-destruction of happiness...that is great that you can recognize it and hopefully avoid it going forward.)

  4. Whoohoo girl. Looks like a lot of positivity going on! Enjoy it!