Monday, July 4, 2011

Freedom! 75 Pounds Lost! Wardrobe Malfunctions!

Happy Independence Day! You know it has special meaning for us this year. :) I've got a lapful of boys right now, both wanting breakfast and my undivided attention, but I'll post some pictures here real quick.

(Boys are off in search of syrup in the mysteries that are our kitchen cabinets right now...)

Hey! I've lost 75 pounds! Verrrry cool. I hope my weight loss is on the decline again! No fancy clipart for that one right now...I have just wrestled facebook to get the family pictures I want to post, and I am weary from the effort, haha.

Oh! I wanted to tell you about my volunteer shift on Saturday. Specifically, I wanted to tell you about my wardrobe malfunctions. :) Ok. You always wear a belt. YOU ALWAYS WEAR A BELT!! You have to wear the police radio on your belt. Period. Did I wear a belt? Uh, no. Completely and utterly forgot. "That's ok," says my handsome MALE partner (emphasis "male" here, because I can endure most weight-related humiliation in front of a woman, I suppose. Neither is my preference, however.) Anyway, "That's ok," says my partner, "the other precinct has spare belts in the cabinet."

Hrm. I've seen those belts, I recollect. They seem to have been donated by young children. I am not at ease.

So, we go to the other precinct, where he sweetly offered two belts from a cabinet. Yes, as I suspected, they are belts meant for Barbie dolls. One of them is marked by a tag that reads "Size 6." That's the BIGGER one.

Well, you can damn sure bet I won't forget to wear a belt again! We ran to Target and picked one up for me, which I donated to the program when I left. Now there will be at least one REAL PEOPLE sized belt in the cabinet, plus it was one with all the rivets in it, so it can fit people of many sizes. And I have to say, either my partner fell squarely in the clueless man category, or he took the paramilitary "partner" aspect much more seriously than I do, because even in the belt section, that man was glued to my side while I chose one out. HAD I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH? :)

The other ironic wardrobe malfunction was that my wardrobe is pretty damn sparse right now. I selected a t-shirt that I thought would be serviceable, although I knew it, like the others, were really too big to be wearing anymore. Add in a police microphone clipped to my neckline, and I was flashing that poor man all day long. Pardon me while I tuck my boobs back into my shirt, pardner.

Yeesh. But, it was a gorgeous sunshiney day, and as I suspected, the partner was very nice and good-humored and explained that most men do not mind a peep show, even while on duty. We are working together again in August and I will look forward to it. I am rather a shift snob (beings that I, like all rational people, do not like to be stuck in a car for eight hours with someone I cannot stand), so I am happy to have another person with whom I would happily volunteer.

Pictures! Look at my beautiful family. :)

My family and our new home. Unintentional, but not especially regretful, thumb in the eye to the photographer (X)

Fire pit in the backyard. Blake is giving me his "smolder," a la the movie "Tangled." Reid's body is always vibrating with emotion. :)

Big Stuff took off his training wheels, and Mr. Cool is just, well, cool.

Aliya (BFF) and Alli (my daughter) were instrumental in the move, and deciding where everything goes in the cabinets. Most times, they made good choices. ;)


  1. I love love love the photos...(ahem, you so rarely post them)your family is wonderful...I love your boys and your daughter looks a LOT like you! I was dying for you that he stood there and watch the belts NOT fit and then went with you RIGHT INTO TARGET and watched while you selected another belt. The agony! At least he was handsome and didn't mind the peep!

  2. *watched* hate that you can't correct typos here!

  3. Happy 4th! So, now you are in like with two different men, huh. Your poor ex-neighbor doesn't even know about his new competition.

  4. HOORAY for wardrobe sparsity! It gives humor and impulse to our lives! I prefer to have the boobs pop out and show themselves from time to time. Thank God for push up bras!

  5. What a beautiful family! Men are clueless and he was probably not even paying attention while you were belt shopping.