New Leaf Plus Heavy and Irrelevant Thoughts

I'm turning over a new leaf. Well, I'm contemplating turning over a new leaf. No, I'm doing it. Well, probably soon. No, now. New leaf, here I come.

I'm joining a gym. Maybe I'm even joining two gyms. I have been in this terrible gym dilemma for months now, and it is clear that it won't pass until I make a decision. More on that in a bit.

I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I've got several reasons for joining:

• I need to continue feeling good about my progress;
• If I end up having plastic surgery to fix the mess that are my boobs and belly, well, having good muscles under there can only help;
• I need to find a positive outlet for this energy;
• Conversely, I need something to motivate me not to be a slug.

Mainly, I'm doing it for my mental health. There is a recurring theme that keeps coming back to me: being happy as a single mom and a single woman. Honestly, I do not know if that is even in the cards for me. :) I do not enjoy single parenting: I find it very difficult and lonely. And even worse, I'm not all that much of a single parent! My ex has them 50% of the time, so I always feel funny calling myself a "single parent." Maybe I'm not even one. I do the best I can to provide a wonderful life for my kids, and I think I succeed. I love my kids with every fiber of my being. But parenting is hard, and parenting alone is even harder. Lonelier. Mostest boringest.

Anyway, the gym dilemma: I have a swim and tennis club practically at my doorstep at home, and they have a work out facility. I think it's a decent-sized one, but I have never checked it out. The advantage of membership here is that my older two peeps can go hang out at the pool during the summer, they don't even need parental supervision. Heck, I think even my youngest can go with my older two, but this is really, really a laughable prospect. :)

That's my preferred option, but there are a couple limitations. There's no childcare. This is becoming less important as my youngest is getting a little older, but still presents its challenges. I could take the older two into the workout room, but not the youngest...blah blah blah. I don't want to get sidetracked on the woes of single parenting and diversely-aged children, haha. It costs more than the YMCA, which is also pretty close to my house.

The YMCA has more program options, more swim lessons, more, more, more. But my older two will be home alone this summer and they can't get to the YMCA by themselves. If we join swim and tennis, I can pretty much compel them to go to the pool everyday. The Y has childcare, and more classes...my daughter has theoretically indicated she would participate in Zumba classes and such. The Y is less stringent about the kids using the workout facilities - my older two can both go use the equipment, but the tennis club says they can't be alone until they're 16.

There is a third option on the table, but I think I'm combining it with either option one or option two. I have a gym in my building at work. It's cheap, like $30/month. If I worked out here, I could slip in for some lunch breaks or after work on my kid-free days.

There are advantages and disadvantages to each option. We'll see. I need to make a decision quickly, though, as I believe the initiation fee for the swim and tennis club jumps from $125 to $250 after this weekend!

Irrelevant observation: Even my head has shrunk with weight loss! Who knew?? I used to not be able to wear women's "one size" hats. So hats at Target and the like wouldn't fit me. I was surprised recently when they did, but I didn't think much of it. Then I went to collect my cowboy hat from my parents, who had been storing it for me in all these recent moves. Too big!! Can't even wear it anymore. Crazy.