Chilly Hilly: My First Organized Ride and Why You Need Sleep

Sunday's weather was pretty darn great! We did do the Chilly Hilly ride, and I'm so glad. This was my first organized (paid?) ride and it was very fun. I've done lots of group rides now, with up to sixty-ish riders, but nothing like this: close to six thousand riders zooming around a very hilly island. (Oh heck, who am I kidding, everything in the Pacific Northwest is hilly, I think!) It was 33 miles and 2,675 feet in elevation gain: not the hilliest or longest ride I've done, but nothing to sniff at, either.

That's Mr. W's friend, he's not really photo-bombing us. Except he kinda was, haha.

Thoughts on the experience:

• Gold star: I may be slow up those hills, but I didn't walk my bike up any of them. Bikes are for riding, not pushing! There were an awful lot of people walking bikes up hills, so I felt like a powerful athlete chugging along at 4 mph, hahaha.
• I was a bit nervous about riding the ferry (specifically boarding and disembarking) with a ton of other cyclists but it was no problem. Except when the guy in front and to the side of me dropped his water bottle and people (not me) started toppling like dominoes as he stopped to pick it up, haha.
• I had Clif Shot gel (citrus flavored) and it was yummy. And here I thought I despised all gels and their bizarre texture. Nope, this one was good. I also like/love Clif bars even though I don't like most/all any other bar I've tried. I should buy stock in the Clif company, or at least be their PR person.

• Matt Mr. Wonderful has a lot of biking friends. Sheesh. I am friendly but have never felt the need or desire to know everyone. I have a small group of friends I would die for. Most of the rest of the people in the world are sort of blurry entities I am aware of but don't focus on too much. I have limited attention and thought capacity and I must ration it carefully!
• Seriously, Mr. Wonderful is such a geek. Have I told you? :) This is my first up-close encounter with a  geek. I feel like Jane Goodall sometimes.

He's a much better kisser, though.

• I would follow that bullet up with examples of geek-dom but there are just too many and some of them might make you question my sanity. I can't have you doing that while I am doing that, we might come to the same conclusion. Skeery.
• I was REALLY slow on this ride. Why, you ask? Because I was horribly, horribly sleep deprived. Why, you ask? Because I spent the weekend at Mr. W's house. Is his bed lumpy? No. Are his pillows uncomfortable? No, not really, although I did stop and grab my own pillow from home for the second night. Loud neighbors? Nope. Mr. W. is GRABBY. 

I googled "Sleeping with Octopus" and isn't this the cutest thing ever?

A bit closer to what I meant, if you understand that I am represented by the cat.

Well, this one accurately depicts my body and the feeling of being suffocated by an octopus, anyway. ;)

• Wow, that man cannot keep his hands to himself. We "slept" (and I use the word loosely, at least when describing my night) twisted up like a candy cane. We haven't had many actual grown-up slumber parties, I realized, after spending the whole weekend together. Will we have many more?? I sleep alone in a king-sized bed. Ahhhhh, space. 

I know how, and it's really not that hard.

• This issue will need to be addressed, and I suspect message reinforced, before, during and after future sleepovers. I was exhausted. By Sunday night after the long ride, you couldn't distinguish between me and a walker from the Walking Dead.

So very tired.

• Anyway, so I was exhausted and very slow, but we made it through. I would definitely do it again! Next time with plenty of sleep the night before. Mr. W. is a fun riding partner because he's a good mix of chatting and leaving me the heck alone so I can chug up this damn hill. I enjoy him so much, even though he mistakes me for a body pillow. We are having a (Mr.) wonderful time together. And will continue to do so, unless I go into complete geek-breakdown. Such strange creatures.

Questions for you, Constant Reader (to steal outright from one of my favorite authors, Stephen King):

1. Can you sleep with someone velcroed to your body? Or do you paint a line down the middle of your bed, if partnered?
2. Do you like Clif Gel, and if so, are there other flavors that I should try, given that I have been known to take a mouthful of Gu and spit it on the pavement? (Normally, I swallow, but will spit if it is just too darn unpalatable, hahaha.)
3. Are you one of these social butterflies who knows everyone like Mr. W, or can you count your besties on your fingers and maybe toes?
4. Are you, or have you ever been a geek? Do you affiliate with geeks?
5. Do geeks deserve love, too, like real people? ;)

Heads Up

Oooo, pretty! I swapped out the picture of me and Mr. W. in favor of the pretty Gerber daisies. Hurry up, springtime! Groundhog Day promised me an early spring and I want it. Bad.

Speaking of Mr. W, (and when aren't I?) we had a couple of  milestones this weekend. Saturday night we took the kids to a restaurant for dinner. Yup, first time he joined us. I normally don't even take the kids out to eat, as with three kids it can be a $60+ prospect at many sit-down restaurants. Their favorite is Red Robin. I took Alli there for her birthday when just she and I went out to eat earlier this month. We talked about how "back in the day" we ate at Red Robin frequently, maybe even once a week or thereabouts. These days, though, it's a rare treat. We had Reid's playmate spending the night, and we all went to IHOP. The boys were rowdy but reasonably well-behaved. Mr. W was not feeling well, and even spiked a fever during the meal. I tried to send him home but he had left his bike at my place and needed it for the next morning. I spent the meal stressed out, but everyone else, including Mr. W, seemed to have a good time.

Monday, we all had the day off for Presidents' Day. We picked Mr. W up early for a trip to Northwest Trek, a zoo-ish sort of destination location in our area. Again, I was moderately stressed the whole day (oh, okay, I'll just say it - I don't exactly relish days out in public with my kids. There. I said it.). My daughter is an angel but my boys are always roughhousing and my youngest is a human-wolf hybrid (you may have seen the articles in Newsweek, etc. when he was born). Again, Mr. W seemed to have a good time, and when I said later that I wondered if I'd see him again, or if I should be concerned that he's such a glutton for punishment, he said all sorts of nice things.

I'm still languishing without regular exercise. We skipped last night's bike ride because of the weather, and the weather is supposed to suck this weekend so we may skip the Chilly Hilly ride, too. It's my first organized bike ride and I am a little nervous about it. But excited. It will be fun. I am *still* waiting for an answer on my financial aid application to the Y: I can't reactivate the membership until that's reviewed. I'm getting more than a little surly about it.

You take a ferry to the bike ride start.

I've never been, but apparently it's a little crowded, haha.

Tomorrow, I'm off to the flower and garden show! Yay! My friend Patti and I have gone together every year for a long time now. I'm not much of a gardener, but I always enjoy looking. :) It's supposed to be super stormy tomorrow, so I will be glad to be inside looking at all the exhibits, pretending it's spring time.

Sneaker

First, I have to show you. Seriously, fog, go the heck away. I am so tired of you.

This winter is like being wrapped in thick cotton batting. I cannot breathe.

Happy belated Valentine's Day to ya! Yesterday I thought I'd be cool and serve nachos for dinner by candlelight. The kids were home, but the nachos idea wasn't as well-received as I had hoped. "I don't want nachos," my 7yo said. Wha?? Kid food?? Turns out they have nachos every week with X. Here I had been thinking, "Wow, we haven't had nachos for dinner in YEARS! How fun!" Hahaha. 

So we had heart-shaped pizza from Papa Murphy's. And I completely forgot about the candles. Oops.

The view out my window.
Oh, you can't see anything, either?

In my ever-seeking-trouble-with-Human-Resources ways, I approached a coworker this morning and told him I hate him and his kind. "Should I just leave 'what kind' to my own imagination?" he asked. No, I told him, this time I'm thinking naturally thin people. 

When I had my weight loss surgery, the doctor told me that I would lose whatever percentage of my excess weight, then I would regain a little, then I would fight the same 5-10 pounds that everyone else does. HA! I thought. Not me.

Um. I've lost all my excess weight, I've regained a little, and now I am in a death-battle with the same five or ten pounds everyone else is.

Hrumph. Stupid know-it-all doctor.

Sneaker pounds. A donut on Valentine's Day, followed by handfuls of mini candy bars in the evening. A big hibernating winter appetite and an utter collapse of the vigorous exercise routine I had been on. Handfuls of sent-straight-from-heaven crunchy Cinnamon Life cereal. A mini chocolate covered strawberry Blizzard from DQ.

Can't ride my bike this Wednesday because we went for early Valentine's dinner. Can't ride it Saturday because the kids are home. Can't ride it Sunday because Reid is having a sleepover. Can't, can't, can't.

Oops.

What I really need to do is figure out how to bike to work. Then I would feel happy and great arriving at work, I'd have a ride home in the evening, and boy, would I be getting a lot more exercise. It's about 12 miles one way...a perfectly reasonable bicycle commute. They have shower facilities here for bike commuters and everything. It's just time...time is always short.

I am in the process of getting the Y reactivated. It's not a complicated process, but I did apply for financial assistance, so I have to wait until I hear back. Otherwise, reactivating the membership is as easy as showing up, haha. 

The extra pounds weren't the "Sneaker" I was thinking of when I started this post, however. I was thinking about Mr. W, who clearly has wormed his way into my heart. I know this, because his clearly-smitten ways and his eagerness to be around me have turned from slightly annoying to happily welcomed. Of course, that probably means he'll break up with me tonight. ;) He came to dinner last night with the kids. My 7yo especially adores him. I think he thinks I bought Mr. W at a store just for him. Mr. W will sit and play legos, he takes Reid on bike rides around the neighborhood, etc. Hearkening back to the Five Love Languages (which I still have not read and do not intend to), Reid's language is Quality Time.

Mama likes that. But more than that, it is just SO FUN to have someone to bike with, to plan weekend trips and vacations with. Someone who strangely is willing to incorporate three kids into his childless life, talking about driving vacations with the kids to places they'd enjoy seeing. Someone who buys me flowers (Yes, Kim, I told him I don't like carnations! Which he told me he buys because it's the January birthday month flower - see, he's just sweet and thoughtful. I, in turn, told him, yes, I have hated them my whole life, haha. Maybe I just resented being "assigned" a flower.) and chocolate covered cherries (oops, yeah, I've been eating those, too) and a SBUX card (the ultimate language of love, I say!). 

I'm a Gerber Daisy girl. 

Anyway, we're having fun and I am learning to like having someone be nice to me. And he's learning to not be overly present: this weekend he's doing his own thing every day and I am the one hoping he'll squeeze in some time for me! And that's a nice, balanced feeling.

Quick list:

• I have now seen urgent care, my chiropractor, the acupuncturist, physical therapist, dentist, endodontist (root canal dentist), primary care doctor and an oral-maxi-whatever surgeon for my throbbing teeth and aching jaw. Yesterday I had a full panoramic x-ray of my head and there ain't a broken bone or cracked tooth in sight. The oral-maxillofacial surgeon said, like everyone else, that I have got the nerves and muscles completely screwed up. Time, he said. Time and drugs. He threw another one into the mix that I'll start tonight. Now I'm on muscle relaxants, nerve blockers and a souped up anti-inflammatory. Yikes. He also recommended I continue acupuncture and says he has had great success in patients for pain relief.
• I had another iron IV infusion yesterday, so that should help battle back from the blues.
• You should watch "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World," now that we have meteor(s) crashing into earth. It's good.
• Mr. W rented "Frankenweenie" but Reid won't watch it because it looks like a zombie movie. How and why are my boys so fascinated and afraid of zombies?
• I don't even want to get on a scale, but I am going for a walk at lunch time, so I'm sure I'll feel less sluggish and fat. It looks like it's maybe sunny under the fog.
• Have a great weekend!

Slogging Through Winter

Winter can't end soon enough for me. It seems like it's been foggy every day for a year in Seattle. This probably isn't true. Tonight, it's super windy: heads up - wind is my favorite winter weather. I love windstorms, as long as I'm not the one who has to clean up after them. And it is garbage night, so when I pulled the cans out to the street, I made a quick wish that they don't blow over.

Why am *I* pulling the cans out to the street, you ask? When I have three able-bodied children? Hmm. I wondered the same thing. My now 14yo daughter is actually pretty darn helpful around the house. Garbage duty is loosely owned by my 11yo son, but he is afraid of the dark. Zombies, specifically. So after his lacrosse practice, I nearly made him come back outside to haul the cans to the street, but I'd have to stand out there to protect him anyway...well, I just went ahead and did it.

I saw a new doctor today - I'm in search of a primary doc as mine retired last fall. He was my GP from the time I was 12 or 14, so you can't say I'm not loyal! This woman seemed very nice. I sought her out in search of help for my aching jaw and teeth. It's been a month since my snow tubing calamity and I am still in so much pain. It's amazing how chronic pain affects your mood! Grr - I have been foul this last month. Anyway, she's trying me on another med, a nerve medication this time, to see if it helps calm the nerves in my teeth and jaw. I'm trying it tonight: I guess it makes you pretty sleepy. Here's hoping! She also referred me to an ENT (ear/nose/throat) doctor for follow-up care. 

Amazing to me how close we came to not even snow tubing that day. Grr. We had already snowshoed all afternoon. The place was closing in two hours. We had dinner plans. But it was cheap and looked like fun. We almost didn't do it. Imagine how much pain, time and expense I would have been spared, sheesh.*

*unless by going snow tubing I was averting some other more serious calamity, haha. With me, you just never know. I'm the type that would step out in front of a bus while busily texting away. :)

Okay - I'm fattening up again. Yikes. Seriously over winter. Today at the doctor's I weighed in at 148. Holy isht. Yes, I was wearing jeans and I had a very full belly (uh, there's part of the problem - I seem to always have a full belly these days) and a very full bladder. But still. Put the fork down, fatty! This is not all cycling muscle weight, since I'm cycling, oh, once a week at best these days. Argh!

Serious winter depression. Talk about the WORST TIME EVER to have a new boyfriend. I am just no fun in winter. I did go get my blood work done and my ferritin was in the crapper again and I'm having an iron IV on Thursday. But they said my vitamin D level was fine (40), so no prescription vitamin D for me. Boo. 

No bike ride tomorrow night. Mr. W and I are celebrating Valentine's Day early. My X's mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and she is having surgery on Thursday and X wants to be at the hospital, of course. So I'm keeping the kiddos an extra night and Mr. W and I going out tomorrow. I had planned to go buy a pretty dress tonight, but a busy evening schedule with the kids the last couple nights made that plan go bust! I talked to X's mom today - they caught the cancer very early and are super-optimistic about her outcome. She's a strong woman - my money is on her being just fine. Still, it's very nervewracking, for her and everyone who cares about her (myself included).

Oy, Mr. W. I am crazy about him while at the same time he is driving me crazy. Truly - he's about the best thing you could ever ask in a boyfriend. He is just so freaking head over heels for me...what a ridiculous complaint, I know. It's probably the pain and the pain meds screwing with my head, and for that reason I have committed to just continuing along happily with him for now. Plus, I'm trying to get whatever life lesson I'm supposed to get out of this! He is *exactly* as moony-crazy-in-love over me as I was over Greg. I remember Greg saying things like:

- I think it's great that you want to spend all your free time with me, but...

- I think it's great that you want to do whatever I want to do, but...

You get the idea. I'm trying to figure out what Greg could have said or done to get me to MELLOW THE F OUT. The nice thing about Mr. W is that he is super easy to talk to. He's just so damn gung ho. Oh, I don't know.

But he's fun. :) On Sunday, he rang the doorbell and I came down the stairs to see him through the front door window. He was down on one bent knee (tying his shoe). I opened up the door with, "You have GOT to be kidding me!! I told you this is TOO SOON!" He was so shocked, then he got it and we were both cracking up.

But seriously. If I told him tomorrow I was ready to be engaged, I'd be wearing a ring by the end of the week. Sabrina says he's already bought it, haha. She also makes a mean face at me if I even so much as allude to breaking up with him. And she reminds me what Kim said, that "you know you're the problem, not him." Ahhhhh, friends. What in the world would you do without them? I feel a bit as if I'm in an arranged marriage, though, haha.

It's too much for me right now. Winter and this CONSTANT PAIN are wearing me down! No life changes allowed during this time. If I told you all the wonderful things Mr. W says and does for me - you'd think me insane for being stressed by them. Really insane. That man has outlayed unthinkable amounts of time and money on me since we started dating - you wouldn't believe.

Anyways. I am crazy about him - truly - but I'm just not at the same speed or intensity. He tries to back off for my sake, but then it's just like a car revving its engine next to you at a red light. Not really backed off, just ...holding. Barely.

Example: We saw each other Saturday evening (briefly - I was very sick w/ flu this weekend), all day Sunday, and dinner with the kids last night. He texted me today, "I miss you!" I haven't had time to breath, let alone miss him or anyone else. We spoke on the phone tonight and he said he thought about me all day. See, I think about him, too. But I think he thinks "I can't wait to swallow her whole in one giant all consuming love bite." Or something like that.

One giant love bite. (Thanks for sending this, Kim!)

But, I remember when I was seeing Greg. If I hadn't heard from him by the afternoon, I would have been in conniptions. The couple evenings we didn't speak, wow, those were long lonely nights. 

What to do, what to do. I know it's the pain. And winter. And the pain meds. I am not myself.

So...on the exercise front...I have not reactivated my Y membership yet. I did talk to the woman today, finally. I emailed her three times before I finally called and got her today. See, before, I was getting a small amount of financial aid that I found very helpful. I would like to have that re-instated, thus the waiting patiently to talk to her part. She sent me the appropriate forms to complete. I make too much to warrant a genuine financial hardship, but I'll probably get some token $20 off a month or so, which is big money for my squeaky budget!

No ride tomorrow, no ride this weekend. I've got an extra 6yo boy this weekend, as I'm watching my friend's son. He is totally taking advantage of me, in that these sleepovers are never reciprocated, but he is also a single dad and has 100% custody of Reid's buddy and I feel for him. I try to help him out when I can, because although single parenting is hard - I get lots and lots of free time. He does not. He's our old next door neighbor from the condo and I like them both a lot. He has a girlfriend (they met at their high school reunion!) and she has a daughter who is about 5. All together, that's a very nice blended family combo...boy/girl, close in ages, each only having one kid. 

I digress. No bike ride this weekend. Next weekend is Chilly Hilly, an annual organized ride that's about 40 miles and whatever hilly elevation gain. We are doing that at least, so I will be back on the bike sometime this month. (weak, self-pitying laugh. Cue unbuttoning top button of too tight jeans.)

Let's see what I can do to pull myself out of this funk!

Rainy Ride

I freely admit I am the *biggest* whiner about winter weather. In all seriousness, when the kids are grown, I plan on high-tailing it out of Seattle in favor of a sunnier climate. Even though when it's sunny in Seattle, there isn't a better place to be in the whole wide world. That's the best friggin' week of the year! (ba-dum-dum)

So last night as I was leaving the office in the pouring down rain and cold, I was NOT EXCITED about going on my weekly group night ride. But see, I haven't been hitting that ride very often these days. The ice, the cold, the rain, my snow tubing injury - I had lots of reasons to skip. To the point that it wasn't even really "my" group anymore. Oops!

I wasn't going to cancel last night. Rain, lightning, whatever. I asked the universe for a physically active boyfriend and BAM! did I get one. If I keep bailing on the activities, well, he's gonna start to wonder, right? Ok. So, I'm in. Argh. No matter how crappy the weather, I won't be the one to cry uncle.

It was just the die hards last night. I was the only girl* - this puts on extra-special pressure, right? The group mulled canceling the ride, but there I was with my big smile, "I'm good to go." ("please cancel it. please cancel it.")

*Later, two other girls showed up. They were "racer chicks," slumming it for the night to join our little group. We broke into two groups anyway: the really fast boys and the superhuman girls. That is pure jealousy speaking, by the way. :) Pure and utter jealousy! I would love, love, love to be a fast racer chick. It is not in the cards for me, I think.

Who am I kidding? They never cancel.

Mr. Wonderful gave me the option: we can go do something else? This was funny, because on Tuesday night he texted me the weather was supposed to be awful Wednesday night, and we should have a back up plan. My response to his text and his next text passed each other through the airwaves:

Me: That "Warm Bodies" zombie movie is supposed to be good.
Him: We can go to the club and play racquetball or the open badminton. 

Oops.

Okay, nope, I'm in. Here we go. Twenty-four miles in the dark and rain. It was so fun! Once I'm out there, I have a blast. I do not like biking in driving rain, but in moderate, typical dreary-suck rain, it's fine. I don't think that riding in the dark is the *smartest* thing to do. I have a pretty great light. There are much better lights. Either way, you're sort of taking it on faith that you won't ride right into a hole or over some unavoidable obstacle.

Total blast. I love riding my bike. I am fast on the flats and super slow on the hills. But I keep up with the boys.

And on Sunday, we have a very hilly 40-mile ride on the agenda. That one won't get canceled, either. And I'll plaster on my big-girl brave face and git'er done. :)

Freakout Weight - Revisited

Boo. Stupid winter. Stupid foggy Seattle weather. Stupid hibernation eating. Remember back here in July, when I established the original freakout weight? And then again back in October, when I revisited the new lower freakout weight, just to make sure it still freaked me out?

Hullo, freakout weight. I was hoping not to see you again. I didn't want to step on the scale this morning, but I knew I had to do it, or it would just continue to get worse. Today's weight was 146.2. Oops. Up a full ten pounds from my lowest weight. Well, I can't really claim 136 pounds as  my lowest, because honestly, the scale just touched it one day. My body likes to weigh 137-140. I would like my body to weigh 129-135, but apparently this is not happening.

Okay - so what's been going wrong?

• I am barely exercising.
• I am eating too much.
• I have discovered Clif bars, after a lifetime of hating all bars and successfully avoiding them. Thank you, Mr. Wonderful, for filling my stocking with them, haha.
• I have been so doped up on pain killers and muscle relaxants for the last couple weeks due to my aching jaw (hmm - can I blame the snow tubing accident on Mr. W, too? Could he possibly be a VILLAIN in this story??). Do narcotics make me feel hungry? Or just not give a damn?
• It is winter, and I hate winter, and I am depressed and so over the foggy gray Seattle skies.

Oh look, I'm not immune to science! If I overeat and don't exercise, I will gain weight. Boo!!

I did go on a short bike ride with Mr. Wonderful on Saturday. I begged off the long hilly ride on Sunday because I had my kids, and 2/3 of them have been very, very ill for the last week. It seemed mean to leave them on their own for the afternoon. Lonely, sick kids. But Mr. W and I did go for a quick hilly ride: he got to see my ugly side, because I DID NOT WANNA GO ON THAT BIKE RIDE. He finally lured me into it when I said I needed to get to the library to pick up a book that was waiting for me. He pointed out the library was only a couple miles away and would make a nice bike ride. Argh. We spun it into a longer loop and rode up a badass monster hill I've been wanting to do. So even though it was only an eight mile ride I was pleased with myself. (Also, I remember posting late last summer when I started riding that I rode TWELVE MILES! WOW! Now anything less than twenty is a fun little fake bike ride, not a workout, haha. Amazing how times change.*)

*Although, as I said, I'm barely cycling at all right now, so those fun little fake bike rides would probably push me out of the freakout zone if I did a couple, haha. Slacker.

Okay - so what's the solution?

• I'm going to call today about re-activating our YMCA membership. I turned it off in conjunction with my plastic surgery.
• I told my daughter I'd look into buying a treadmill on craigslist. She has/had been doing so well at running in the neighborhood, but it is cold and yucky out. I don't like her out there in the dark when she gets home from school.
• Back on my stupid liquid diet for a few days. Stupid protein shakes. 
• Clif bars are treats to eat on long bike rides only. Period. I'm moving my stash out to the garage with the rest of my biking stuff. Not in my dresser drawer to hide from the kids and make a delightful bedtime snack.
• I am going on my group's regular Wednesday night ride and Sunday's hilly bike ride if it kills me. It may kill me. I have missed so many Wednesday rides I am really not even part of the group anymore! Last Wednesday I skipped to go out with two out of town friends. Drinking many beers and eating much food. It was counter-productive to the goals of the bike ride.
• Might I even start climbing the stairs again at work? Perhaps?? I should talk to Barb about going for The Big Climb like we had wanted to do last year. Oops, no, it's sold out. Bah.

I really screwed the pooch on my winter training. My problem was that I forgot to factor in my utter depression and lethargy during the winter months. I knew it was coming: that's why I made the goal to force myself outside even in crap weather. Where I fell short was getting a solid plan in place before the doldrums took over. Now biking seems too hard, running seems too hard, etc. etc. etc.

Wow, did Mr. Wonderful *ever* get a dose of my whinyness this weekend. After last Sunday's ride, which was 37+ hilly miles, I said I was done with winter riding. Even though I totally love it and had a blast! Once I'm out there. But it was wet and miserable and cold and I was always switching gloves and adding and removing layers, and freezing to death on the flats and burning to death on the hills, and and and. He tried to lure me out for at least part of this Sunday's ride: it was three adjacent loops that would have been easy to do one, two, or all of them. But nope, I would have nothing to do with it. Call me when you're done. Period.

Oh, that guy. I should tell you, I'm totally falling for him. He is still a complete geek: I was changing the light bulb's in Reid's room and replacing the old-fashioned glass cover. It had an extra washer that made it difficult to screw the base back on. "Should you just disable the washer?" he asked. I stopped, looked at him and said, "Do you mean, 'throw that f*'er away?" Yes, he laughed. See, he always laughs. I am really too much woman for him but he hasn't figured that out yet, so I am just rolling with it. I am really crass and vulgar and pretty obnoxious. He's, um, not. I know I heard him swear once. I think he was quoting someone.

I could make you a list of 1000 nice things he's done for me since we started dating. But you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Or you'd think I'm being really, really spoiled. :) I'll write more about him sometime soon.

Sensory Overload

I have had a hard week. Ever since my snow tubing incident, my teeth on one side are killing me. The problem is, the x-rays look fine. My teeth look fine. But I have been popping percocet for a week now (three cheers for narcotics!!), and the pain is only getting worse. Ahhh. My dentist told me on Monday to drug up and tough it out for five days or so, see if things settle down. Of course, five days is Friday and he's out of the office, haha. Could be a clever ruse to get me off his back.

Anyway, pain in your head has got to be the worst. It's like a dull roar laying behind every thought. It started with pain from cold stuff, then cold stuff with chewing, now hot stuff, too. At least I can say the pain is isolating: on Monday, it was all four of my back teeth (two up/two down). Now I pretty much have figured out which tooth it is. Maybe. It's a very non-specific pain.

With very specific impacts on my mindset. I am grumpy. I have sworn off facebook today, I even deleted the app from my phone this morning. After I write this tome, I'm going to put my little head down and stay away from the internet. I may even...GASP...power down my phone.

It was a crap week: Blake, my 11yo, is doing miserably in 6th grade. I spent the week talking to counselors and teachers and alternately wrapping my hands around Blake's throat and giving him big hugs. Kill him with kindness, or just kill him?? Today is the last day of the quarter. I told him I think one of our main problems is that he is not afraid to bring home miserable grades. I have elaborated on the many reasons he has to be afraid of bringing home miserable grades, and I started by showing him a wooden spoon. There will be no Ds or Fs on that report card, or he will become familiar with it as I was when I was a kid. Not that I ever brought home less than a B*, haha, my bad behavior tended toward the mouthiness and defiance. Shocker.

(*I did get a D in tennis at community college, but by then I was too old to spank with a wooden spoon.)

I should say that when he turns in his work, he gets solid As and Bs. But he turns in probably only a third of his work. This is my boy, that in first grade when they started assigning homework, he looked at me in horror and anger and said, "BUT I ALREADY WENT TO SCHOOL TODAY." And that attitude stuck. :) My 7yo, Reid, when I was doing alphabet flash cards when he was four, looked me in the eye with dead seriousness and said, "Look. I. Don't. Care." Ah, that attitude has stuck, too.

Stinky boys. Sabrina, who is a mom to three boys, and I were laughing (weakly, but still laughing) yesterday about how parenting them is getting to watch men being made. They never change. And they'll grow up and get married and their wives will hate us mothers for making them such jerks and the mothers will be standing around saying, "Whatever. Don't blame me. I hope you have boys, too. You'll see."

I complain, but I love them. But this week, I am on B-O-Y-O-V-E-R-L-O-A-D.

Last night, I had plans with a friend. She bailed via text at 5:00 a.m., saying she needed to stay home sick, and I'll admit, I was delighted. I didn't really want to go. It's been a hard week and I just wanted to sit quietly all by myself. I didn't tell Mr. W. that my plans had changed, because I knew he be ON IT, offering to change his own plans to be with me. Shhh.

I went to the library. I left my f'ing phone in the car and I went to the library and I sat and read a book. Quietly, all to myself. I think I'm going to throw my phone away. It has become a giant weighted stone around my neck this week. Alli coerced me into throwing a slumber party tomorrow night - UGH UGH UGH. Every time that little sucker beeps, flashes or vibrates this week, it is like a nail into my brain.

Late last night, I unleashed a bit on Mr. W., who had been playing with his new iPad, sending face time requests - foolishly thinking that I was not receiving them because I was not accepting them - I believe on the day he got it (his out of state and country mom and brother also got one while visiting him last week to stay in touch via facetime) I said, "I will not facetime." This declaration seems to have not been heard or, if heard, not understood to be the definitive declaration that it was. I will reiterate it later with greater clarity. :)

Anyway. So I had told him that evening that my plans had changed and I enjoyed a quiet evening alone, to which, he of course, responded, "Bummer! I would have happily changed my plans to hang out with you."

Yes. I know.

And my lovebug daughter has already chipperly told me she'll be home tomorrow (a "kid-free" weekend) with her seven noisy girlfriends, and she's also spending her whole birthday weekend at home in two weeks (another "kid-free" weekend), and Mr. W. has mapped out a challenging bike training schedule that books every free minute of my time for every weekend from now to September, and biking is FUN and I am trying to REMEMBER that when I look at this very elaborate Excel spreadsheet that screams "YOU WILL KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING EVERY MINUTE OF THE NEXT SIX MONTHS!" And Alli wants to do an organized 5K a month and the March one is only $45/person to enter, and the RSVP bike ride in August is only $100+ but I have to register now and lacrosse for both boys starts soon and I just bought a $150 lacrosse helmet (ARE YOU KIDDING ME??). And no schedules at this point really mean anything, because did I mention I'll have two boys in lacrosse? Well, they'll have games every weekend, too, but who knows when or where. Put that on a spreadsheet, why don't you? And Alli just texted to remind me not to forget to walk down to the fortune cookie factory today and buy the garbage bag size of "unfortune cookies" (flawed, flat factory rejects) that we have stupidly made famous at her birthday parties the last six years. And NOW who gets to carry that home on the bus tonight??

Deep breaths. Calm blue ocean. Everybody wants a piece of me. It is good to be loved. Claustrophobic, but good. Really, really claustrophobic. More claustrophobic than good, this week.

But the thing of it is, the only thing that has changed is that my teeth hurt. Life is life, and this week has been no different, really. And so, I will just pop another percocet (Mommy's happy pills) and turn on Mommy's happy light. Here's what I texted Kim from bed this morning:

Sunshine in a box!

Sunshine in a bottle!
(Crap, I had to go to facebook to grab this picture, but it really was relevant.) 

See, I'm all claustrophobic, but I'm still texting pictures to Kim. Mr. W. told me at some point recently that I'm his best friend. "Kim's my best friend," I said. Kim and I were laughing about this, and decided it is because she lives out of state and is inaccessible, and frequently turns me down when I want to talk to her. Take a lesson, Mr. W. When Kim and I were talking about my plans with Mr. W. for the weekend, I said we were going out Wednesday and probably Friday nights. Bike rides on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Kim said maybe he'd turn me down for Friday night, being busy with his own plans and then I'd be all turned on. "That would be soooo hot," I said. "But it will never happen." Didn't, of course.

But my problem isn't Mr. W. It's these frickin sore teeth, it's two solid weeks of fog, and a distinct vitamin D deficiency. But my mommy loaned me her HappyLite, and percocet dulls the pain, and today is Friday *and* payday and all is well in my world. Or it will be. :)

(Note: the author has a documented case of Seasonal Affected Disorder and lives in Seattle. It is January, and the weather is bleak and miserable. Which is not bad, it's the fact that the weather will remain like this until late June that hurts her so much. The author knows she must one day move to another climate to save her sanity, but at this time, a steady job with a great pension plan and a divorce decree dictating what school district, let alone what state, she must live in, preclude any weather-based improvement to her mental well-being. "Oh well," she thinks, "my youngest is already seven, surely the next eleven years of this will fly by." )

A Very Bikey Birthday

Enough talk about the birthday, already! But I have had one more post in mind, and I finally almost sorta pulled my act together with the pictures I needed. I cheated a little bit - I grabbed one picture from the web...it is much classier than any picture I would have taken, haha.

My friend Nancy gave me my first birthday present. She said she wanted to beat Mr. W. to the punch and give this to me before he did. Mine, and Sabrina's, first reaction was, "Oh God, it's not an engagement ring, is it?" Hahaha.

Nope, it was a bicycle built for two, kitchen towel style:

Classy picture. Not mine, of course.

Mr. W. showered me with gifts for my birthday - not the least of which was a three-day weekend away! He got me a full set of Pampered Chef knives, which I have since gashed my hand open with TWICE since receiving. He notices a lot of things, and one thing he noticed when cooking at my house was I was basically down to using my teeth to cut, slice or chop anything at home. And my two hand gashes prove that I am totally unused to sharp knives, haha.

But the gift I'm here to write about is the beautiful silver necklace he got for me and gave me while we were away. (I got the knives at home before we left, presumably so I wouldn't be armed on our trip - it was our first weekend away, after all. And our first sleepover! He was wise to check for weapons, especially since I am sleep walker/talker and he was a strange man in a strange hotel room.)

This picture is so fresh, it's almost live-action. 

Beautiful, yes? It has little hearts at the center of the wheels. He lives up to his nickname, Mr. Wonderful. :) More on him later. (Do I look so exhausted? You have no idea how much pain I've been in since my stupid snow tubing catastrophe. I've been taking percocet for ages now...ugh. I just feel...awful.)

Because now I have to show you the bikey-birthday gift that has been cracking me the heck up since I received it. You may know from me talking about Mr. W. here that this man is SPOILING me. Like seriously, who was born a princess and just found out about it? ME! He has done 100 little things around my house and spent goodness knows how much time working on my bike. If he's at my house and sees something that is broken, next time he comes over, he's brought whatever he needs to fix it. I bought a snow shovel at Costco. He said it was a very heavy one - I said I didn't care because a) I just buy what Costco tells me to buy, and b) I'm thinking that the snow shoveler in my household is Blake, not me. (Yup, I'm that kind of mom.) Blake is always wanting to build up his muscles, ipso facto, the Costco shovel is just fiiiiiinnnnnnnnneeeee.

Nope, next time he comes over, Mr. W. has found a better snow shovel at Lowe's. Steel blade at the front, like my Costco one, but much lighter and more maneuverable. Says Blake will appreciate the difference if he ever knew about it, haha.

My point being, I'm being completely spoiled. I will have to be verrrrrrrrry careful about this, because, well, let's just say that was an issue in my marriage. I still haven't actually decided where I fall on this issue.

But anyway, my hilarious birthday gift. You also need to know that I have never, ever had a bumper sticker on any of the seventeen cars I've owned in my lifetime. Not a one. I am not a bumper sticker girl. Kim, my birthday gift benefactor, knows this and says I'm under no pressure to put this on my car. (I also don't wear clothes that say things. This has made my conversion to being a fancy cyclist difficult because I look at those "kits" and think, ugh. Ugh. Yuck. Maybe I really am a mountain biker at heart. I don't want to dress funny.) But what has had me dying laughing is the note...oh, she knows me (and Mr. W.) too well...

You have no idea how long and hard I have laughed about that silly note. Priceless.

I showed it to Mr. W. who also cracked up and wondered if he's maybe spoiling me too much. Eh, maybe. He did say he'd put it on for me, though. No thanks, I got this one handled, buddy. :) I think I may have my first bumper sticker! (Thank God it's really a window sticker - that is much less traumatic for me than a bumper sticker!)

Report Back on a Very Fun Weekend

What a fun weekend! Of course, it was almost a week ago now - but I have had issues to work through, which I will share in this long-winded post. :) For my clarity of thought (I'll pause here while I, and you, laugh about that oxymoron as it pertains to me, haha)...maybe I'll just start off by listing.

- First off, Kim told me that if I don't use that picture of Mr. W and I as my blog background, she will. It seems stranger to me for us to be the background picture on *her* blog than my own, so we'll try it here. No promises that it's staying, though. :) When we went snowshoeing last weekend, Mr. W was chatting with a couple that had just finished the 3.7 mile loop. Turns out the husband was a professional photographer who was scouting the route for the snowshoe 5K/10K the next day (ahem, I am done talking about that one - you know, the snowshoe 5K I didn't get to do? haha). So he took our first picture together. We both agreed we got a couple better ones off my iPhone, but it's the thought that counts. :)

- Thursday was my actual birthday, thank you very much for the birthday wishes! It was hard to discern my real birth date out of the week, because we celebrated it so dang many times! With Mr. W and the kids, with my parents, with Mr. W. alone, and tonight I'm celebrating last night I celebrated with my friends when we go see Book of Mormon. YAY!! I have been waiting for this night FOR YEARS. Can't wait to see this one. It was as funny as I had hoped it would be! I loved it!

- So for my real birthday, Mr. W and I went out to sushi. Yum. :) We made out in my dentist's parking lot because my son had stayed home an extra night to do some homework on the computer. So I had a curfew and I made out in a car, both events combining to make me feel like I was just turning 17 instead of 43.

- Friday morning Mr. W picked me up early and we headed out of town. Yay for long weekends! We stopped at REI to return and exchange my cycling jacket, which had a defective zipper, and rent snowshoes for me. Oops, except we forgot to rent snowshoes, so we got 15 miles down the road and turned back for them.

- We stopped in the hokey little Bavarian village of Leavenworth, a place I can take or leave. I did buy buffalo beef jerky there, which was tasty! I fought over it shared it with Blake when I got home. Blake is a serious jerky hound - that kid loves his dried meat. Mr. W and I had fun in Leavenworth, just window shopping at cheesy little tourist traps. I'm not much of a fan. :)

- Hello! I do like wineries, though, and our first stop in Lake Chelan was at Tsillan Cellars winery. We bought a case of Gewurtz because it was only five dollars a bottle! Yay for closeouts! It is quite tasty.

- The hotel was great - I was nervous because I can be (whispering) a bit of a hotel snob. I get skeeved out easily at hotels. This place was nice, though, and skeeve free. That night we walked down to the marina for Winterfest activities, which were lame on Friday night. So we walked out to the utter darkness to watch the stars. Very sweet. It was like nine degrees. Eep.

- The weekend was full of lots of sweet surprises, starting with a couple fancy little chocolates waiting for me back at the hotel room. Saturday morning he made me tea (okay, we all know I'm a little addicted to Earl Grey) in my own new size-venti mug. Mine broke awhile ago and I have refused to buy one until I could find a venti-size. Mr. W found one!

- We snowshoed on Saturday. I love snowshoeing!! Oh my, so fun. All that crunchy snow, and it was gorgeous and sunny and cold. See pic above. Here's another good one of Mr. W and one of me thrown in for good measure:

I still gots some head issues, because I am wearing five layers but still think I look fat in this picture.
Crazy don't just disappear, ladies. ;)

- After snowshoeing, the world ended. Well, not really. But close! We stopped at the tiny ski area on the way back down from the snowshoe trail. We decided to go snow tubing, it was only $8 and they were open a couple more hours. VERY FIRST RUN, I hit a hard bump at the bottom of the hill and went FLYING like a rocket. Landed face first. My mouth filled with blood immediately, and I truly lay there thinking, "I am going to have to pick up my teeth from the snow, and I am not going to lose my isht when I do it." Ugh.

- Fortunately, I sustained no permanent injuries. It did really suck, though. When we got back home, I was seeing spots (because my eyeballs were so shook up, my ophthalmologist said). I had a head and neck x-ray. I already had a root canal appointment, so the endodontist checked my teeth, which were jarred a bit loose but not perilously so. It really sucked. I shredded the inside of my mouth:

Ouch.

- Well, anyway, that sucked, but the good news is Mr. W is good in a crisis, e.g. he did not start screaming and suffocating me with professions of love. And, he's a real "positive outlook" guy, but he wisely did not tell me how great it was that I only sustained this type of injury, haha. He was great under pressure. We went back to the hotel, I laid down for awhile and then...

- Chinese wish lanterns!! Highlight of the weekend! They were the coolest thing ever. :)

Funny story on this one: Matt and I were holding our lanterns, which were struggling to get away. I wanted a picture, but my phone was in my pocket. I was going to ask the man next to me to reach into my pocket to get my phone. I said, "Hey, can I ask you a big favor?" and he automatically reached to hold my lantern while I got my phone. Yeah, we could do it that way, too, haha. I reached into my own pocket and then he took our picture. :)

- The rest of the weekend was wonderful, too. I'm going to wrap this one up because it's taken me a week to get this far, haha.

For the Love of Pete

I want to update on my super fun weekend with Mr. W, but we only have one computer in the house. And three children. I *know* in my heart I am the grown-up and I make the rules, but OMG, I can't get near the computer to save my life.

We had a great time. More details to follow. :) Expect a long post, if I can ever get near a keyboard!