This Page Has Insecure Content

The above error message popped up when I tried to access a blog, and it just struck me as HILARIOUS! My own blog is filled with insecure content, too! Oh boy, the insecure content...

It's been awhile since I posted a picture of myself (hasn't it? Hmm, maybe not.). Lucky you, you get a picture of my butt! These are my new work out clothes. I have compression capris from Target, and running shirts and bras from Target, too. They are all dri-wick. Much better! Best of all are those capris. I was having a heck of a time running in sweats that ended up being too big to run in, as they were always falling down when I started running. I tried some other pants I had at home, but they didn't work either. I'm going to thank Jen at Runner Maybe for the Target running pants idea/reco, even though as I write this...I am not positive I read it on her blog? But I think I did, and she gets credit, anyway. She gives me lots of good ideas and advice. ;)  

I had Alli take a picture for two selfish reasons: to make sure my back fat wasn't too bulgy under the running bras, and to see a picture of my butt, which was looking pretty good to me in the mirror. ;) I have to focus on my backside because sometimes my front side can be very discouraging! I should have had Alli take a picture of my front side, then it would actually have some merit as a before/after picture. But nope, you just get my butt today. :)

HA!! OMG - Here's a picture from my "After" files of my butt, almost exactly one year ago!! Before/after, eat your heart out!! That is hilarious, I name my files starting with date, and I found this one from July 11 called "backside" which is what I just named this month's file. Before opening it, I thought I had put the wrong year in the file name. FUNNY!

7/16/11

7/1/12 (hey, I did actually use the wrong year in the file name)

When I was thinking about insecure content earlier, I wanted to circle back on my reluctance/unwillingness to talk to Greg about my weight loss and weight loss surgery. Do you remember back on 5/22/12 when I said in this blog entry:

"Because let me tell you, if I'm busting my butt and making progress toward my goals again...well, I just defy anyone to try to make me feel badly about myself. Because I've got some choice words for you that will roll off my tongue pretty easily, buster."

Well, how prophetic was that statement? Poor Greg probably wishes I would SHUT UP about weight loss and weight loss surgery. :) I told him about my bum support group meeting, I prattle on excitedly about my upcoming plastic surgery consult (on 7/19! Soon!) for a lower body lift and boob job. I've told him that I do not ever want to again see the cookies that I lived on this weekend at his house. Quitting smoking wakes up a sweet tooth in me that usually is blissfully dormant. The sweet tooth will go back to sleep, but I need to fight it all the way.

Hey - I weighed in at 142 this morning (I was 146 yesterday). I am used to the scale bouncing around between 142 and 145 every day. Yes, I weigh myself every day, except when I feel really crappy about my eating. Like I did yesterday - the ONLY reason I got on the scale was because of Run with Jess' Lose a Half Marathon challenge. It was weigh in day. I'm glad I made myself do it. And I have been tracking my eating yesterday and today on myfitnesspal.com. My body responds very quickly to both good and bad eating, so today was a nice thing to see on the scale. 

The point of all this (good writers should not have to end a post with a statement identifying the point, haha) is to say that I am happy that I found within myself the confidence to accept myself for where I'm at in my journey: where I've come from, where I'm going. Accepting the fact that there will be a lasting price to pay for going from super morbidly obese to a little hottie patottie making my daughter taking a picture of my butt just so I can see it. :) Loose skin, stretch marks, surgeries, etc. It is a tough road. But I'm glad that with Greg, I got over that initial paralysis. I am still very guarded about my naked body, but I haven't decided if that's out of shyness or courtesy, haha.