Liquid Diet: Day Four(ty thousand and twenty-sixteen)

Freakout weight: 149.9

Today's Weight: I don't know!! I refused to step on G's scale, not knowing it's trustworthiness or believability. I'm a loyal girl, I don't fool around on my scale.

Freakout factor: Mildly freaked, a little desperate to know if maybe I dropped to goal?

Oh, I'm actually doing fine. Day Three, as I remembered correctly, was the day that your stomach surrenders. "No food? Whatevs. Starve me, see if I care."

Well, that's not exactly true, because when G made chicken nachos with cubed avocado last night, I went into full inhale mode! Yum. No sour cream, and fortunately there were three of us eating the one plate (it was an appetizer for G and M - G's daughter - who went on to have burgers after the nachos. I abstained.). I was pleased with my reasonable dinner after a hard day of sticking to the protein shakes (two, yesterday). Later, I snuck a handful of oyster crackers, but SERIOUSLY, how bad are oyster crackers?

(Sidebar: Okay, seriously, oyster crackers are like seriously bad for me. Crunchy, crispy light goodness? Oh hells yeah, I could eat a bag of them. Croutons, oyster crackers, grissini breadsticks, there's a wealth of mildly flavored crunchy carbs out there that I would do best to avoid the whole entire rest of my life.)

('Nother sidebar: When Jen and I went to the expo for the See Jane Run half marathon, afterward, I talked her into going to my favorite free grissini breadstick place in the world. And did I eat grissini? Heck, yeah! Did I eat too many? Heck, no! I was very impressed with my self-restraint. There is a first for everything, hahaha.)

Grissini. Food of the gods.

Tonight will require some self-management skills. Self-control. Grown-up behavior. I am not entirely sure I'm up for it. :) After work, I have a massage appointment for my wounded shoulder. Trouble is, I don't have access to my car, which waits patiently for me in my garage at home. I forgot to plan for it when G took me to his place on the motorcycle last night. So now, getting to that appointment (and home) will require a bit of perseverance on my part. Transferring buses, long walks, etc. I will be hungry when I get home, and probably feeling sorry for myself based on my long commute. 

Confession: Last night, when I told G I couldn't come back to his house tonight - my food-addict secret self chimed in to my subconscious thoughts. "No boyfriend, no kids? Home alone? TV and FOOD!!!!"

Uhh, you see I am a real problem child. So. Strategy. I think I only have one, maybe two protein shakes left in the fridge here at work. I will walk down and buy a couple more at lunch. I will drink one before I begin my long commute. I will remind myself that it is a beautiful sunny day and I am lucky to be out taking a long stroll. By the time I make it home, it will probably be too late for me to go to the Y. If I am not weary and whiny, I will get off my bus at the bottom of my hill, which is 1.2 miles from my home. I will have walked probably a mile+ from the first bus to my massage appointment, then back that same distance to the return bus home. Then a mile uphill to my home. I will call this a *very good work out day* and I will allow myself to be pleased. I will not feel badly for not going to the Y.

When I get home, I will have strategized a reasonable dinner. I will go to the grocery store. I will buy a box of sugar free popsicles, and I will allow myself two, maybe three over the course of the evening. They're like, what, fifteen calories? When I go to the grocery store, I will not buy crunchy-crispy-anything!! No breadsticks, crackers, cereal. Nothing. If it's not in the house, I can't eat it.

Hey - even though I'm slowly starving to death (KIDDING!) this week, I have keen observations to make about how much my body likes feeling a little hungry and not having a stomachache from eating too much or eating the wrong foods. It's really quite remarkable. More later.

I took this self-portrait while riding home on the back of G's bike last night. Cool, huh?