Chubby Bunny! Not Obese!

Goodbye to the 260s, 250s, 240s, 230s, 220s, 210s, 200s, 190s, 180s, 170s, 160s...

Woooo-freaking-hooooo!! Hells no, I'm not "OBESE" anymore, I am merely "OVERWEIGHT!" Who would have thought a one pound loss this morning would have me feeling so good? I would have, that's who! Besides onederland and goal, getting out of that godforsaken "obese" category is my biggest milestone. Heck, maybe bigger than both of those! Onederland was such a mental mindset, the pain and shame of weighing over 200 pounds at only 5'3"...goal is such an elusive place, since you know DARN WELL that I will be rocking it when I am approaching, but not yet meeting, goal.

Heck, it doesn't matter! Overweight! What a wonderful feeling! Bounce, bounce, bounce!!

What an amazing journey - I am so pleased. As I am adjusting to my new body, I am turning an (unfairly) critical eye on myself more and more often. Look at this saggy, baggy skin, look how much weight I still have to lose, etc.

This whole blog has been a celebration of my progress, but it's also been a forum for agonizing over the imperfections. Today is all about how incredibly far I've come in my health in such a very short time. YAY ME!!

There is a Judy Blume book - oh, I cannot think of which one it was...there was a very buxom girl in it with a nickname...can't remember that, either. But looking at these pictures made me think of that book. ;)

And yes, I am wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt to work. Sabrina, my invisible fight club friend (@Amy!) made me put on her earrings before she'd take a picture, haha.

Clearly This Isn't Working

Time to play catch-up on the ole blog! I shouldn't let so long go between entries - the week just got away from me.

Regarding my license plate, "IM HIGH," it's my last name. :) I got it in celebration of reclaiming my maiden name when I got divorced. The guy at the DOL said he would accept my application, but that I would never see the permanent plates out of Olympia. So imagine how shocked I was when they showed up! For awhile, I was pretty nervous - afraid it would result in me being pulled over a lot, when I am already a uhhhh, questionable driver at times. (I have lost 93 pounds now, but not one single pound of it came from my lead foot, haha.) I am happy to report this is not the case.

I have had several cops pull up beside me laughing their heads off. This is always a bit disconcerting, because when a police car pulls up right beside you...well, at least if you're me, you're not generally thinking they want to share a laugh with you! I'll admit, I love parking in the police parking lot when I do my volunteer shifts with them.

There is one drawback of the plates, though. I suspect they will one day get me rear-ended. Many's the time that I've been driving along, minding my own beeswax, when I notice a car ON MY BUTT for no reason. Invariably, they either have a passenger taking a pic (good) or (bad) they are taking a picture themselves while driving.

And, oh the kids! Wow, do I ever get a lot of teenagers honking and laughing when they pass. Uhh, I am probably a bad role model. That's okay, I am just having fun. I cannot wait until the day my cute license plate is on my super-cute little red convertible or other fun car. For now, it stays put on my little econo-sedan.

Oh! I felt skinny this weekend. Why? It was freezing cold and raining when I went to my son's football game. I shouldn't have felt skinny - I was wearing leggings with jeans over them, and a spandex cami and two long sleeve shirts with a coat over it.

That's actually *why* I felt skinny. Never in a bazillion years would I have been willing/able to dress in so many layers a year ago. Nuh-uh. I would have felt like the Michelin tire man. Yay me!

There was a downside to that day, too, besides my son's team getting yet another shellacking on the field. I had rinsed my hair, but not washed it. It was not looking good. I stuck it in a ponytail, but it was truly a bad hair day. And my poor hair has lots of bad days now - it has just thinned so darn much. Anyway, not a good hair day.

Before I say this, I need to say that I love that blunt little ten-year-old of mine to death. Almost literally, sometimes. I could. just. wring. his. neck. But I love him. He seems to have appointed himself my handler, especially since the surgery. "Should you be eating that?" "I thought the weight loss would be faster," etc. Happily, he has also thrown in such concerns as, "How will you stop losing weight when it's time?" and "You won't let yourself get too skinny, right?"

Anyway. Those are nice concerns - but the one he carelessly voiced after the football game nearly got him tossed outta da car. "What's going on with your hair?" he said. "I could see your scalp from the field. Just lots of white scalp. Isn't that kind of embarrassing?"

Pardon me while I remind myself how much I love the little bugger, and he didn't ask with one ounce of meanness. Concern. A gentle nudge to bring my A-game to his games, haha. This from the same son who suggests we start going to church, "so maybe you can meet some people."

Yes, it was a terrible hair day. It was raining and my hair had gotten off to a bad start, anyway. I had mowed the lawn at 9:00 am and then ran out of time. I hope, hope, hope it starts growing back soon, and stops thinning. This weekend I swept the floor in front of my mirror in the bedroom, where I usually blow dry. My (naturally) cherry-red brown hair blends pretty well with the hardwood floors. Uhh, there sure was a damn pile of it there. I am forever cleaning the wheel of the vacuum cleaner, too. Ugh.

It's worth it, it's worth it, it's worth it. But it sure is disconcerting.

Iron. (Wow, I am cramming like five blogs into one entry today!) I went to the hematologist on Friday. I will have another iron IV infusion this week. Can I get a YAY??? The hematologist confirmed my suspicions. In February, my ferritin was 76. In August, it was 40. We are trying to get it above 50: when I first saw him last October or November, it was 0. That, he attributed to my extremely frequent blood donations (every 56 days on the nose) and my long run of menses from putting in, then taking out the Mirena IUD.

Now, he says I could just be absorbing less iron because of the surgery. I do not see how this is possible, since pre-op I rarely ate meat, and post-op, it's practically all I eat. Oy!! Anyway, I have not been taking my prescription iron supplements, since they are prone to give me a hella bad stomachache. Since the appointment, however, I have had good success taking them at bedtime with some food. This morning, I also took my vitamin D and calcium. I have officially qualified for rock star status in my book!

I have two doctors: my hematologist and my general practitioner. I cannot beg, borrow, or steal prescription vitamin D out of them, even though my number is at the very bottom of the scale (30). This vexes me, but it also concerns me for all the peeps that are on high dose prescriptions - of which I have three good friends taking it. Both my doctors are convinced this will cause later bone density problems in women. I'm told to take 2000 IUI 5x/week, no more. Grrr. I told my hematologist I would like *JUST ONCE* to know what it feels like to be mid-range in vitamin D and iron!

Anyway - the hematologist thinks the extreme cold I've been feeling, as well as my lethargy, will be remedied by jacking up my ferritin levels again. I think he's right! There's definitely a peak to how I felt in February-ish versus how I feel now. It's like I have the desire to work out, to keep working on my body, but absolutely no energy to do it. He alluded to an invisible line in my iron levels where I feel great, versus where I feel exhausted. He wants to keep me above the line, and I am all for it! Thankfully, you feel pretty good pretty quickly after those IVs, within a week or so I noticed a difference, I think. Will this be for the rest of my life, do you think??? Not sure. He encouraged me to keep experimenting with taking the oral supplements successfully. People generally don't have problems with the prescription supplements (except for the bazillion dollar price that is not covered by insurance, ugh).

Oh - back to the title of this entry. Without exercise, my weight loss is DOA. I hit 170 pounds this weekend, a new low, but only a pound in almost a month. And it bounced back up to 171/172-ish again, where I have been hanging out FOREVER. I need to exercise to kick this back into gear, or at least feel like any failure to lose is because I'm gaining muscle mass, haha. Point being, if I was working out, I would not feel as stressed as I do about the lack of loss. I don't want to stop here - I've got a lot more to lose and I want it gone!

Edited to add: I had some more good experiences this weekend. I took the kids to a arts/crafts/street festival nearby. My ex's brother and his wife had a stand there (they do concrete kitchen counters, etc type of stuff). I haven't seen that side of the family since the divorce, except my ex-FIL. Anyway, yesterday, we saw a bunch of that side of the family. It was nice to see them again, for one - I adored my SIL, who came into the family just as I was leaving. Ironically, BIL and my ex have gotten a lot closer since the divorce, which I had always pushed for *before* the divorce. (I should do the same with my own sister and her husband, sigh.) Anyway, everyone was really complimentary about my weight loss, which was a nice feel-good boost for me, especially since the weight loss has slowed so much. Also, that evening, we ran into another uncle on that side of the family at Target - he didn't even recognize me when he walked by! (Laugh - or the kids, even though he had cracked up at Reid saying that "daddy bought that kind of peanut butter and it makes me wanna barf!") Anyway, I flagged him down and we caught up a little bit and he said that I was looking really great. It was nice.

Edited to add more: OMG how many times did I say "nice" in the paragraph, above, talking about seeing my ex's family?? Divorce is odd - even a couple years later, there's strained feelings and awkwardness around it all. We did not end badly, but we are definitely divorced. He and his family are good people. It was nice to see them. :)

Six Months Post-Op: 78 Pounds Lost (pictures)

Wooohooo! Not sure if I have any profound six-months post-op advice or revelations, so I'll just post this picture now and come back to add text if I have inspiration. For now, I just want to admire the pictures. :)

Three Month Post-Op Pics and Thoughts

Wow, three months already! So exciting! I feel fantastic. As far as recovery/lasting effects from surgery go, I feel pretty darn normal. I can eat mostly anything. My no-nos thus far have been ice cream, hard liquor, carbonated beverages, most, but not all dairy. I am fine giving up these things, although I would say giving up pop has been the biggest challenge. There are lots of times where I just want an ice cold diet coke. Too bad, so sad! Ain't happening.

My body feels totally great and I don't feel any physical effects from the surgery, and haven't for quite some time. On Friday, I bowled for the first time post-op, plus I did yoga last week and these are both twisty/turny activities that involve the stomach/gut area. I didn't think a thing of it. I pronounce myself fully healed!

Eating-wise, I am learning that I still need to confront the same demons I did pre-op. Nighttime eating and crunchy carbs (breadsticks, popcorn, goldfish crackers) continue to be a real challenge for me when they are around. That's the good part - it's when they are around. I continue to teach myself to not let them be around. :)

I'm also working on my thought patterns. I have a lot of "until I'm down to goal weight," "when I'm at goal weight," and "to get me to goal weight" thoughts:

- I will start dating when I get closer to goal weight
- I will run the stairs to get me to goal weight faster
- I am upping my activity to make me lose weight
- etc.

I'm all for having goals, but I'm trying not to let myself fall into a pattern of thinking I am released to my old habits once I get to a weight I'm satisfied with. This. is. for. life. A woman posted online today about being five years post-op and at some point having regained 100 of the 200+ pounds she lost (which I think she subsequently lost again). That really struck a chord with me. Get sloppy and you will lose the hard work you've put into this. I do not want to go down that path again!

Anyway. Here's pics. Yay!!

This one is fun, too, because it shows each month side by side, but I would need to do some formatting to get the sizes/heights right to see a good comparison. Still fun to look at.

p.s. It's hard to see, but I have a mole (errr, beauty mark) that is almost right at the v-neck of the shirt. I like looking at how much the fit of the shirt has changed by seeing that mole start out right at the hem of the shirt, and now the shirt falls inches below that! 

Seven Dwarves Diet

Gotta love a forty pound loss! It's forty-one, actually, so things are clipping along even farther. I am feeling great about my success. I'm also feeling a bit more up for the challenge of what to eat. Today, I'm going to make my own turkey meatballs/turkey burger/turkey meatloaf. Haven't quite decided what direction to take it.

Post-op VSG eating reminds me of a chick-lit book I read several years ago. I want to say it was from the "Shopaholic" series, but I don't think it was. Something of that ilk, anyway. There was a character, a single woman, who followed a "Seven Dwarves Diet." At the beginning of each week, she bought seven yogurts, seven apples, and seven tiny pieces of chocolate. (There may have been more food involved, I can't remember.) Anyway, that's how I feel about my eating. Anything I buy, I think, wow, that's going to go bad before I can eat it. Preparing ahead is tough because we just have the little freezer, and it's jam-packed. Maybe we'll concentrate on eating out of the freezer this week! Make a little space, make it a little more sleeve-friendly.

This will also be a fish week, I think. I'm finding that I'm focusing so much on eating protein, e.g. meat - that I'm eating these little sausages, or salamis, pepperonis, etc. Too much processed - too much sodium. This week, we're going to push that sleeve a little harder and go for foods I can make at home.

Part of that revelation was my last couple purchases from Costco. Yuck. I bought some aidells teriyaki and pineapple chicken meatballs. Too sweet for me. I've slathered a few in A1 sauce, but I just don't like them. I also bought some Aidells mini sausages - now I'm kind of turned off all of it. I'm thinking about being evil and returning it to Costco. Hmm. Maybe I'll call my parents and see if they want it.

Anyway....FORTY-ONE POUNDS!!

Size 18s! Hooray! (w/ pics)

A long time ago my mom gave me a box of size 18 jeans that were too big for her. They were ridiculously impossible for me to wear.

NOT ANYMORE! Tonight, it snowed at our place, and I had to go out to the car. My jeans had gotten so loose the cuffs were soaking wet. I remembered the box of jeans on the top shelf of the closet. Could it be? Maybe? Worth a shot!

YES!

Good bye, size 24/26 jeans! Hello size 18s! And there's a bunch of them (all the same size, unfortunately). The good news is I'm set for jeans for awhile! Good thing, too, because I'm doing the police volunteer thing on Saturday and I have to wear jeans (actually, I have to wear a belt for the police radio, not jeans, I guess). I will feel better in these than my baggie ones!

Nuts!! (and Minus 35!)

Yeah, baby. That's 35 pounds down the drain. I'm so happy! AND...a paltry one hundred pounds to lose! (Hey - that didn't feel as good to type as I thought it would...hmm) Anyway, when you hear about weight loss surgery, there always seems to be this tagline of "Do you have more than 100 pounds to lose?" or "Are you more than 100 pounds overweight?"

NO. I AM NOT. Thankyouverymuch.

There, that felt better. I knew there was a positive spin somewhere. :) Plus - the hundred pounds is based off my goal weight of 128 pounds. I set it because a) I wanted to be within the "normal" BMI range (this would be 138.5 pounds or less), b) I wanted to be in the 120s, and c) I needed a number, so I chose a BMI of 23 in honor of my friend Kim (23imaginaryfriends.blogspot.com). I just looked at the Weight Watchers weight range  and it says I should be between 113 and 141 pounds. We'll see. Goal weight feels very far off, so I am not going to lock in too hard on a number until I get into the ball park.

Anyway! This post is not just about setting and meeting goals - it's about nuts, too! As in, I hate nuts in my oatmeal. But I do like nuts. And I like oatmeal. When you buy oatmeal from SBUX, you get a little packet of nuts, which I always tossed in my desk drawer. Now, I have a drawer full of nut packs (does that sound dirty?) and a teeny tiny stomach.

Solution found! I was sitting at my desk, not wanting to waste money on buying food I can barely eat. But I was getting h-u-n-g-r-y. I stumbled on a nut pack. Fifteen grams of nutty breakfast goodness, the SBUX "Nut Medley." Ten grams of fat and only two grams of protein - hmm, that doesn't sound right. Nuts should have more protein.

Would you believe that fifteen grams of nuts leaves me FULL? Madness. I told a friend last night when I was all filled up on a potsticker (What did you have for dinner last night? Oh, I had a potsticker. Deeelissh. And SO filling!), that I think my surgeon decided to help me out by giving me a teeny tiny sleevy. Not complaining. :) The fact that last Friday I celebrated my 30 pound lost, and this Friday, my 35 pound loss, well, I am feeling pretty darn good about my teeny tiny tummy.

Plus, I'm a very cheap date. I ventured into alcohol last night, having approximately one ounce of a mango punch (yum!) and one potsticker. My buddy got the other five potstickers and the rest of my drink. My surgery is working out well for her, too!

One Month Post-Op Recap

Happy 30!! Yep, I was delighted to have dropped down to 232-ish this morning, on the one month anniversary of my sleeve gastrectomy surgery. Here is a picture from last summer, alongside one from this afternoon. OMG what happened to my hair color? It must have naturally darkened as autumn approached...

So, some thoughts on the surgery and recovery and everything in between in this first month:
- I got exactly what I expected. I credit this to a wonderful surgeon who took all the time I needed to talk to me and provide any and every explanation I asked for, and many I had not, as well. I also think it was a very smart move to start attending the Weight Loss Support group through my hospital as soon as I started contemplating the surgery. Through them, I was able to hear goods/bads/ups/downs of many, many people who had undergone WLS. I saw people before and after their surgeries, so I was able to have a reasonable expectation of what recovery would look like and feel like. I have also met some really great people.
- I have a tremendous support system. Oh my, I couldn't beat my parents out of my hospital room with a club, even though I begged them to leave me alone. (I am someone who wants to be sick or injured in a cave, alone, trying to recover. Visitors at hospitals feel like foolishness to me, unless you're going to say your final goodbyes!) All my friends have stood by me, providing support and love and cheers and lots of wonderful good stuff. It is easy to recover and succeed when you have lots of people holding you up.
- It gets better every single day. Each day, even when I thought I was feeling pretty good, I would feel better the next. And the next and the next and the next.
- You can read all about the stall at 2-3 weeks and think it won't happen to you, but it does. And then it ends. Yay!
- I think I have lost all my weight thus far in my face and my boobs. ;)
- Just because they say you can eat certain foods during the mushy phase (e.g. scrambled eggs, string cheese) does not mean that you will actually be able to. :) Be flexible.
- The changes happen quickly! Even during my nearly two week stall, my measurements were dropping rapidly and the way clothes fit also changed quickly.
- WLS blogs are fun to read. And extremely helpful.
- Plan, plan, plan! My days are much better when I have an idea of what I'm going to eat throughout the day.
- Drink your fluids. I would say my tummy is not very problematic, but it is a big challenge to get my fluids (56+ ounces a day) in. Yesterday, I hit 40 ounces, and that was a struggle.


I may come back and add to these thoughts later, but this kind of the bulk of them. It is strange, adjusting to my new tummy, but I like it, and I am super-delighted with my progress thus far. There have been a few times when I felt like I was locked in a claustrophobic box, wanting to eat but being unable to think of what I could eat. However, most times, I feel fantastic, and not at all distressed about the capacity of my stomach. I am sooooooooooooo excited to see how things unfold for the rest of the year!

25 x 10 = Rubber Legs

Last night, I took the kids up to the Y. I confess, I only intended to sit in the hot tub. But after sitting there for 10-15 minutes, I thought, damn, I'm going to feel badly if I don't at least do some laps. The lap lanes weren't crowded, I was right there, etc.

So I did 10 laps in the 25 yard pool. I hadn't brought goggles, so I just held a kickboard and kicked my way back and forth. I love, love, love the water. It felt really great, and by the time I was done, I felt a good sense of satisfaction.