Slipping Away

Time, that is. I am looking at my last post and marveling at how quickly time gets away from me!

I did have my scar revision surgery last week. At first, I would have been hesitant to call it "surgery," thinking it was just a tiny little process, but, HEY - that was surgery! Yikes. I had a local anesthetic; the worst part of the whole day was the 1000 local numbing shots he had to give me on my tummy and both hips (he touched up the tiny little skin puckers at the ends of both tummy tuck incisions). Numbing shots hurt. Period.

He cut a long, skinny ellipse out of my tummy scar where it had widened, then stitched me back up tight. I told Kim afterward that although I hadn't had any other medication, I think the stress/nerves of it got to me, because after I left the office I was shaking like a leaf. Adrenaline, probably.

Well, I'm very glad I had it done and already went back in to have the stitches removed (for the initial surgery, all my stitches were internal, but for whatever reason I have removable stitches at all three sites this time. 

No triathlon for me this last weekend. :( The organizers were very nice and gave me a 50% off coupon for next year's event, so that's cool. I am really bummed to have missed it. My doctor and I were laughing, though, he said I *could* do the triathlon if I wanted to find out exactly what sort of grossness I could subject my open wound to in the lake. He said there'd probably be an antibiotic to fix it. ;)

Haven't biked or done anything else since the scar revision. I amused myself by running a few steps one day, but my tummy incision told me to stop. Likewise, I've worn yoga pants to work all week because of the incisions on my hips. Truth be told, and because my pants are getting too tight. I need to get a handle on this, and fast.

On the personal front, things are just busy, busy. I should tell you, I am ridiculously, giddily happy with Greg v2.0. :) We are having a blast. This time, he is the boyfriend I knew he could be last time, if that makes sense. Together we are exactly what I always wanted with him. Time and distance were great for us - plus I think breaking up (and having my heart broken) took away my defensiveness and built my confidence in my body and such. Because all the drama of last time concerning my body is a non-issue this time. When we were getting back together, I told him the only thing he's allowed to tell me about my body is how ufcking hot I am. And he has stuck to that, and tells me often, haha. Last time, I was still filled with a lot of self-hatred about my body - a weird mix of pride and shame. I still battle that, but I'm in a much better place, and both of us feel it. 

For his part, I think when we broke up he was in a bad place and at some point he realized how much good we had and missed it. I know he dated (HA! I am not one to cast aspersions in this arena) and he said this was something he wanted to do, but he never clicked with anyone the way we do. I understand that - remember poor Mr. Wonderful and how hard I tried to make him be the one. If it's not, it's not.

Greg's not perfect, but who is. He still smokes, although markedly less than before, which is nice. Happily, I have had no desire whatsoever. I have told him, under no circumstances am I ever allowed to have so much as one tiny puff off his cigarette. I realize this is a personal responsibility, but I want him on board, much the way my friend Nancy videorecorded me saying if I ever smoke again she can slap me in the face, hard, and I won't be mad at her, haha. Where I think I would stumble, if ever, is the same place I have always stumbled, which is under the influence of sunshine and alcohol. :)

What is so fun is that he treats me like a queen and my 12 year old son Blake thinks I bought Greg as a gift for him. :) They are always working in the yard or working on some project together...I have to say that one of the great things about Greg is that he will feed my sons' desires - especially Blake's - to do all those manly man things they love. He is also great with my daughter, but she is my baby and while she likes him, it's more on the amicably "tolerating" him side of things, right now, anyway.

Aw.

Okay, you'll think me crazy (and that's okay) but I'll just say it: we're living together. CUH-RAZY! Ah, I've become one of those women...moving a boyfriend in with her children. Internally, I suppose I've wrestled with this a lot, but action-wise, I just went for it. God forgive me if I'm sitting alone in my furniture-less house down the road after a second failed venture with this man, but I don't think I will be. :) And if I am, as a note to future self - hey, you tried. You were happy, you had the best of hopes and intentions, and you went for it. You go, girl. Life is short.

Yesterday, we had a great barbeque for Father's Day - my parents came up and his mom was staying with us (Greg's son graduated high school on Saturday). His sister and boyfriend also came up - we had a great day. I've probably mentioned that Greg is an awesome cook, and we feasted like kings and everyone loved it. Refer back to me saying I'm wearing yoga pants because my jeans are so tight they hurt my fresh hip incisions. Argh.

Life is good, good, good. I hope Future Julie just gets to look back on this time and think, "Yep, having fun then, still having fun now!" :)

Jail Bird!!

I got a phone call out of the blue yesterday from a woman who said she was calling from "Seattle's Most Wanted." I had been identified as a person of interest...oh dear, my little pulse was racing at this point as I'm thinking, "WHAT DID I DO??"

This is a problem when you have a guilty conscience. :) Turns out I hadn't done anything (Whew!) but someone (I need to find out who did this to me) nominated me for the 2013 Muscular Dystrophy Association Seattle Lock Up. You've probably seen it before: a coworker or someone you know gets publicly hauled off and paraded through the building and taken to jail, being tasked to raise bail to get sprung.

Well, a little inside information, I am being arrested on July 31st and it doesn't sound too hellish:

- Yummy Seattle firefighters will come to my office and demand that I go with them (this would never take too much persuading for me to blindly follow a firefighter in uniform). I might bring my own handcuffs just in case they forget theirs. :)

- I will be taken to the Columbia Tower Club on the 76th floor of the Columbia Center (all the way across the street from my office) where I will be force fed prison gruel:

Oh, how I will suffer.

The only way they could possibly make it worse for me is if they make me drink the lemon vodka slush that Kim found on Pinterest the other day:

Please, no, not the Lemon Vodka Slush, anything but that!

Hmm, I have already digressed from the true intent of this Lock Up and the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Something about vodka and firefighters and mile high clubs...oh my!

Oy, maybe they picked the wrong ambassador. :)

Please consider helping me raise bail money. I have been asked to raise $3200 bail for the MDA, who does tons of great work in Seattle and around the country for children and adults with neuromuscular diseases. Specifically, the MDA appealed to me to help raise funds to send three kids to MDA Summer Camp so they can hang with other kids with the same challenges. The idea of a specialized summer camp appealed to me because I had a coworker whose son had been badly burned as a toddler. Every year, he went to "Burn Camp" with other kids who had been burned, and he looked forward to it all year long as a chance to be with kids and counselors who understood. I expect MDA camp is a lot like that, too.

They're hauling my ass off to jail on 7/31, so I've got a couple months to raise bail. If you can help, I'd appreciate it! I won't be the first time I've seen the inside of a jail house, maybe, but I expect it will be the nicest! :)

Click here to visit my personal MDA website to help me post bail.

Don't let me rot: I've got a long way to go to make bail!

New Triathlete on the Block

I know I yapped about it on facebook, but did I ever tell you I won an entry to my very first triathlon?? Yep, Becky over at Run Fun Done had a giveaway to the Dilletante Women's Triathlon and I was the lucky winner! It was especially lucky given that I am familiar with this lake and the area of the event. I used to swim here as a kid, and in later years, took my own kids to this park. I haven't been there in years since we moved away, but it's in my comfort zone, anyway.

HOW NERVOUS AM I?? I gotta tell ya - I'm not prepared. Sure, I'm prepared for the biking. But I haven't been running or swimming. This is going to be purely for sport entertainment. Competing Completing a triathlon was on my goal list for 2013, but I languished about committing. The crummy weather, the slow recovery from my tummy tuck, the ups and downs and ups of my romantic life - well, I haven't been pursuing athleticism very aggressively this year.

But I am very excited, and confident I can get through this event. I'll be flying by the seat of my pants on the swimming portion, but I am a strong swimmer and I'm not afraid of the open water (although I do dread the possibility of being kicked in the face by other swimmers, ugh). I'll get it done!!

In other news, my daughter Alli and I are going to do the Seattle Biggest Loser Run/Walk in October. And get this - she wants to do the half marathon! She's very excited about it. I think the fact that it is a Biggest Loser event, combined with being a "run/walk," she doesn't feel pressure to go for it. We'll be doing a lot of walking, I'm sure, but I'm going to pull together a training program for us and get going on it. This will be a wonderful event for us to look forward to doing together!

Now on to things that are really on my mind these days. :) I am having such fun with Greg. I am happy and relaxed and enjoying myself and in love. It is a good, good feeling. We are having a lot of good times and making lots of plans for the future. He and the kids are doing great together.

We're staying in town this weekend because he's working lots of overtime on a big road project. We've got a couple weekend getaways planned in the near future, though.

More later. :)

Two Pictures Say Two Thousand Words

My plastic surgeon just emailed me his official before and after photos...

Leaning forward, ugh. This was always the worst for me.

And don't I have pretty panties? Skinny girls get to wear thongs. ;) Something I would have never, ever considered in the old days.

Also, in these pics you can really see the widening of the scar that I'm having touched up next week. He'll just numb it and excise the wide part and stitch me back up. Says it's no big deal.

Tell Me What You (Don't) Like About Yourself

Every time I think about my first plastic surgery consult, I think of the show "Nip/Tuck" and their tagline, "Tell me what you don't like about yourself." Sheila over at This One Body got me thinking about it this week, for two reasons: one, I had promised a six-month post-tummy tuck update with pictures here; and two, she has just recently gone for her own consult. Go read!

Before my tummy tuck on 11/11/12, I had two plastic surgery consults. The first one left me in tears. It was so awful. The doctor was seemingly kind, but I left there feeling like a POS (piece o' isht) about myself and my body; much, much worse than I had before the appointment. He tried to sell me a $20K facelift: pointing out my droopy corners of my mouth, my jowly cheeks, my turkey wattle. Things I knew about already, but didn't feel all that terribly about. I did by the time I left the office. He didn't do lower body lifts, but made me feel terrible about how extensive of a tummy tuck I would need.

It was an emotionally devastating appointment. Untold thousands of dollars in proposed work. Money I would *never* be able to spend. Hell, money I'll never *have*!

Sometime later, I saw my weight loss surgeon for a follow-up appointment. He urged me to go see his friend, another plastic surgeon. I declined. I had had enough of the emotional beat down! But I really wanted that tummy tuck: all that floppy skin was resulting in mind-ufckery related to knowing I was at my goal weight, but *seeing* all that excess weight every time I looked in the mirror.

I can't tell you how glad I am I went for that second consult. My doctor, the one who ultimately did the surgery, was so sweet. He made me feel GOOD about my body. He didn't try to upsell me. In fact, he talked me out of a couple things I had been mulling (arm/thigh lift, etc). He was very kind about my body, and he was very congratulatory about all my hard work to get there.

I was so thrilled to book the surgery with him, and so excited about the upcoming results. The doctor made all the difference! By the way,  I found the first doctor by googling "Best plastic surgeon Bellevue Washington." He is very talented and very expensive. He was warm and friendly. He was seemingly "helpful." He really broke my heart. "Best" does not mean the same thing to everyone, haha.

Well - the rest is history. I had that tummy tuck (which cost about $9K) last November, six+ months ago now. And I give you...my semi-nekky body:

Before. Ha! Wouldn't that suck if it was the "after"?

Six-ish months post-op.
Testosterone is taking over  my house, as you can see in the background. And foreground, haha.

Side view.

Ah, I love the results! The scars aren't great, but they aren't terrible. As you see, I had the fleur de lis cut, grabbing all that loose skin and tightening it around my torso, too. I am glad I had that done, scars and all. Do you see that thickening of the scar just below my bra-line? The skin pulled a little too tight and the scar got thicker. I'm having that redone (no charge) in early June, just a quick in-office procedure.

I'm about 10 pounds heavier than the day I had my surgery. I feel it in my boobs, upper arms and my thighs. OH, MY THIGHS! So much more muscle-y from all the biking, but jeans that always fit well are snug on my thighs now. I am displeased, but not traumatized. I accept that I may well never finish my goal list on the right hand margin of this blog. I guess my body is just not ever going to be waif-like. :)

The doctor says the redness will be gone from my scars in six months to a year. I have a couple other significant scars (spinal fusion and broken ankle) and both of them are colorless. I'm not terribly worried about it - the scars bother me far less than the loose skin!

In short, I am so glad I had that surgery, even though I will be paying on it for a long time. I would love to have a breast lift and ugh, maybe augmentation (see, with all the weight loss, I guess to get a fuller look, you really need implants). My plastic surgeon said he would do the breasts in two procedures: lift/reduction followed by implants after I heal. I told him after the lift/augmentation, I may well decide not to go farther. I get squee'd out about things inside me...I really have never wanted implants and all the resultant maintenance and worry. We'll see. It's far, far down the road, if it happens at all. The tummy tuck was a giant financial splurge for this mama.

Happy, Happy

The sun has been out in Seattle, well, mostly - yesterday it stayed super foggy until nearly 4 p.m., then turned GLORIOUSLY sunny. And when the sun is out, so am I! I learned many years ago that I need to take advantage of that sunshine when we get it, or I am one giant crankypants. I'm happy to say I've been making the most of it:

- I rode my bike to and/or from work four days this week. Looks like I should log over 77 commuter miles this week, if I don't wimp out and ask Greg to pick me up after work. See, my private parties are really sore from wearing what was probably the most inappropriate undergarment on my ride home yesterday: a thong. Halfway home on the commute, I almost stopped and took off my panties, it was that bad. :)

(TMI, you say? Well, to that, I say, "Hello, and welcome, brand new first time blog reader! TMI is my specialty!")

Well, I thought I was fine for the ride this morning, and I even put on my padded bike shorts to be sure. I was NOT FINE. It was another gorgeous, glorious morning, and I spent most of my ride thinking about my nether regions.

Except when I passed the "Bike to Work Month" special table of cute boys handing out free cookies and water bottles! Then I thought, "Hey, what's on that table, what are they doing?" but I was going by pretty fast and I was already running late, and by the time I saw COOKIES I was already heading down the hill and didn't want to turn back. But I thought about cookies for most of the rest of the way. And free water bottles, but I didn't have any way to carry it anyway, since my own filled bottle was occupying my bottle holder.

So. I'm not sure if I'll call for a ride home or not. We'll see...it would be another beautiful ride, though. I do have the option of leaving my bike here over night, and that would allow me to bring home my book (Gone Girl) that I am dying to finish this weekend. However, I ordered a bike rack and back from amazon, specifically so I can carry things like, OHHHH, my book and a lunch when I ride to work. That will be here today or tomorrow, and if I ride home, I'll be able to put it on over the weekend. Decisions, decisions. It is pretty irritating to not be able to carry hardly anything on my bike, I must say. I don't even have a reasonable backpack to use! The one time I tried riding with a backpack, it was a freaking headache. To ride a lot, or a longish distance, I think you need a very small pack that is made for cyclists. Mine swung all over as I pedaled, plus on the hills it was just a HASSLE.

Whew, I gather you understand how dramatic this bike storage rack issue is for me by now, yes? I'll drop it, then. :)

The title of this post is "Happy, Happy," because, well, I am. I love sunny weather (I should move, I should move) and I am in love, and my children are mostly sweet and wonderful. Greg and I are doing awesomely and if I haven't said it here before, I'll say it now, this is the relationship I wanted with him the first time around and felt sure we could have. I am having a wonderful time.

More later. :) Have a wonderful weekend!

Why Would You Even Ask Me That?

Ha - so, Greg has been around a lot and I have been doing a temperature check with the kids: How is this going? Do you like Greg? Do you like having him around? etc. It's just that they hate their dad's girlfriend so much - I don't want to cause this problem for them at home, too. (And I have to say, the primary reason they hate X's girlfriend - over-parenting - may not not be an issue for them with Greg at some point, too. I think it must be hard to be a  [pseudo] "step-parent." And a step-kid.)

The difference being here, that my boys are alllllll boy, and Greg is allllllllll boy, and so they all just get along swimmingly. Would you like to learn how to:

• use a hatchet in the back yard? 
• build a fire?
• plant a garden?
• fillet a fish?
• catch a fish?
• build a shed?
• change the oil in a motorcycle?

Well, the answer for my boys to all the above questions is YES! They eat it up. I'll admit that this need in my boys (my oldest, Blake, especially) and Greg's over-the-top-know-how is a huge appeal to me in this relationship. X knows how to do lots of things, too, but I think his living situation (still living with his dad four years after we split) and his working situation (trying to build a struggling small business and massage therapy practice) keep him from having the time necessary to devote to the kids. I'm not judging (well, I am a little bit judging): single parenting keeps me from doing a lot, too. You spend so much time and energy in keeping the family afloat, you miss out on a lot of opportunities in other areas of developing your kids.

Anyway, so the boys especially are crazy about Greg and they love having him around. It was my Blake, a long time ago now, when I asked him how he felt about me dating, that said, "Are you kidding? I'd love to have another man around here!" (implication being that he was the other "man,"which just cracks me up to this day.)

It was a foolish question to ask Reid, age 7, if he likes Greg or not, and he let me know. Reid and Blake and I were in the car, driving to lacrosse. "Do you like Greg?" I asked.

"Why would you even ask me that?" Reid deadpanned. "You know I do. A lot."

Of course. On Friday night, Greg got out the barbeque and the boys built a fire in the fire pit and we grilled burgers (turkey burgers with spinach, feta and sauteed onion, to which Reid announced, "Mom, these burgers just taste BAD.") and hot dogs and s'mores. And we all sat outside until after it got dark, and it felt like summer, even though the next day was cloudy and rainy and cold. Hullo, Seattle weather, welcome back.

Alli, my baby, whom has never once told me she hates me, or she doesn't want to be with me, who tells me at least ten times a day that I am her best friend, who tells me she and her six children are going to live next door to me her whole life...well, she likes Greg, too. In a way that only someone who would really prefer to have her mom to herself and get rid of her brothers so we could just hang out can like a boyfriend of her mother's. She accepts him. If I said, "Whew, that didn't work out with Greg, I'm never going to date again!" she would say, "OKAY Mommy!" and be the happiest little clam on the face of the earth. But she likes Greg, and they get along well. They both like watching The Voice. Greg and I will never, ever find a single of "my" tv shows that we can happily watch together. Sigh. But I'm glad Alli finally found someone who will watch The Voice with her, haha.

Well. Greg and I are going to see The Jersey Boys on Friday night with my friends N & K, aka "Don't You Freaking Hurt Her Again or We'll Kill You." Should be fun. :) We chose a new sports bar for dinner, looking for something that will be close to the theater and not be uncomfortably foo-foo for Country Mouse.

In athletic news, I logged 65 miles on the bike last week (two full commutes, two rides around the neighborhood with Reid and Greg, and in one case, Alli; and Greg's inaugural 12-miler). I'd like to commute two more times this week: today and Friday are out, so we'll see about Tu-Thur. Alli and I are going to the Y after work, she is starting the Couch to 5K program. I am woefully behind on my 30-day squat challenge and I have to kick it back in gear today with 180 squats, which I will commence this afternoon. 

And you thought this was a weight loss, cycling, running blog

Thank you to My First 5K for this fun blog idea this morning...here's a clip from wordle.net of the most frequently used words on my blog, haha. You plug your blog address in and it searches...I have to say, looking a little deeper at the word count, I don't think it goes back more than the last one or two entries, but it's still fun to see!

Go play with it yourself at wordle.net

Sticky Wicket

WHO KNEW ABOUT LACROSSE AND DIDN'T TELL ME??

Boy, do I love that game. :) I had never even seen it played before my older son started this season, and now I want both my boys to play in college, haha. I think I should join a women's league, but I hate having my hands hit with sticks!

I think it is very cool that a mom from the opposing team took some gorgeous pictures at one of Blake's (12yo) games and then shared them with our team. I got some great shots of my boy in action:

And then my younger son Reid (7yo) started lacrosse clinics last weekend (no teams for that age yet) and I got the coolest shot from their facebook page:

I am the first to admit that I am easily overwhelmed with parenting. Whew! These guys are hard work - and expensive! But when I see pictures like this, I marvel at what wonderful young men they are becoming and how very, very proud I am of them.

Seahawks 5K, Bikey-bikey and Boys

Yesterday, my 14yo daughter Alli and I did the Seahawks 5K. We had a great time! I am very proud of Alli, who is really working hard at her fitness and health. Besides that, she's as cute as a button. :)

With Partybot.

It was very cold yesterday morning, and it rained some during the race. As usual, we weren't breaking any land speed records, but Alli was giving her all and I was impressed. We run slow, but she ran nearly all of the race!

I had left Greg at home, and really we were only gone a couple hours. But look what I came back to:

Aw. All my favorite flowers.

He pulled old scrubby plants and weeded the whole thing then planted the three pink hydrangea plants and Gerber daisies I had bought (and subsequently let sit around, unplanted). He scrambled to get it all done before I got home, and he just finished as I pulled into the driveway. BEYOND AWESOME! I was so happy.

Here's the thing with Greg: that man knows how to make a *home*. He is (probably too) clean and organized, he cooks, he gardens, he builds...um, these are all areas where I am decidedly weak. Well, I can cook. But I'm the messiest cook you've ever met, haha. Plus he's got that real Grizzly Adams thing going for him...do you ever listen to Dave Ramsey? I love him. I don't heed nearly any of his advice, haha, but I love him. (But I have to stop listening to him during election seasons - our politics do not agree, haha, and he is pretty religious, too, but not usually uncomfortably so...just sometimes.)

Well, Dave Ramsey has an expression, "Get up, leave the cave, kill something, and drag it home." Ah, no wonder Republicans are so rich ;) on the face of it they just make darn good sense. Anyway, Greg is the guy you want to be with so you don't go hungry - that man can do anything! Fish, hunt...he buys whole whatever sides of beef or whatever and cuts it into steaks and grinds it into hamburger...he grows his own veggies, cans fruits and veggies...crazy, man. So exciting! I feel my quality of life ratcheting up several notches.

Anyway. I'm happy. Very happy. Plus I'm extra-super-happy today because I rode my bike into work again! I am going to try my darndest to start bike commuting, because it gives me a solid two hour workout a day. I'm really pressed to squeeze these workouts in, and it's not going to get any easier. I just signed my youngest up for soccer that meets weekly on, you guessed, it Wednesday afternoons. The night of my weekly ride! I will, of course, pick the youngest over the weekly ride. But fortunately, X has agreed to take responsibility for most of that, since it meets pretty darn early in the afternoon.

Biking makes me feel like a little kid. :) And it makes me strong and fit. Lookit, I was playing with my Strava app today and I pulled this comparison table of one particular segment of a typical ride for me. It's westbound across the I-90 bridge. See how my time has improved since last fall? That's progress, baby!

Rank	Date	Speed	Time
1	22-Apr-13	16.7mi/h	5:49
2	17-Apr-13	16.4mi/h	5:57
3	3-Nov-12	16.1mi/h	6:03
4	9-Mar-13	13.8mi/h	7:03
5	29-Sep-12	11.9mi/h	8:10
6	4-Oct-12	10.4mi/h	9:20

I like the bump between lines three and four, where I was stronger on 11/3, right before my tummy tuck. That tells me that after months of working hard, I was at my peak. Then I had the surgery and recovery, now my strength and speed is ramping back up again!