Inching Clllooosseeerrrr to Goal

This morning I am one pound off my original goal. One teeny tiny pound. And even though I only "count" whole pound numbers, I get to break that rule this morning and say I am only a *half pound* off my goal. :) I told my Sugar Daddy here in the office that I'd be weighing myself hourly and providing "ounces remaining to goal" updates. He implored me not to. He also said he's going to go buy me a big bowl of fresh fruit, some Metamucil, and a pot of black coffee to help me along to goal, haha.

You can *bet* my eating is going to be spot on today. :) I wannnnnttt this. So close. I shall have to start composing my poignant "Goal Post" so I have it ready. (And I'm probably jinxing myself into being stuck at 141 for another month, like I was at 142, haha.)

Exercise. WHO KNEW? I am so impressed with my efforts. I am the least exercise-compatible person I know. But once you're in the zone - well, gosh, you really do want to keep it going! I was putting together next week's Workout Update post, logging yesterday's workout...I was a little frustrated that I have two "rest" days now. Frustrated enough that I am thinking of running going to run the stairs today, just so I have something to log! Maybe a walk at lunchtime, too. Although our City Hall Farmer's Market opens today, so I'm already planning a visit there.

Okay, I can tell you here, even though it pains me to talk about it. I started taking Chantix yesterday to quit smoking. Smoking is really impeding my work out progress, and I know it. It is bothering me in a way that it never has before - I can't even stand to be around it myself *as* I'm doing it! It's time. Picking up smoking again has been a ridiculous backwards twist in my weight loss and health journey. Time to stop.

I'm so fed up with it, I don't even know if I need the Chantix. I don't right now, I know that. But quitting smoking is hard, and I want to go into the battle fully armed. Because there's a problem. Greg smokes. A lot more than I do, and when I'm around Greg, I smoke more than I usually do, too. But he's a funny one: he hates me smoking. He hates the smell, and the taste. Whenever he smokes, he scrubs his hands and rinses his mouth right away. I am hoping that when I quit, he will quit, too. I thought about leveraging that with him ("I'll quit if you do.") but I need to do this for myself, whether or not he does. And for me, it's time. And hopefully I will be SMART ENOUGH to never, ever, ever pick up another friggin cigarette when I do.

I try to cut myself a little slack when it comes to smoking. Clearly, with all the years of weight issues and smoking issues and biting my fingernails issues...I've got some kind of oral fixation that is just a real challenge for me to manage. That doesn't mean I can't overcome it, it just means that I don't get to beat myself up over it too badly. I yam what I yam.

Yup.

It's been awhile since I've given you a man-update, hasn't it? We are clicking along very nicely. I am crazy about him! He's so much more *proper* than I am, I hesitate to share too much about him or our relationship here. :) I am such a big mouth, these "reserved" and "behaving respectably" things are difficult for me. But he is awesome, and we are having a great time together. I think we've struck a good balance of spending time together without overwhelming any of our respective children. Dating with kids is challenging.