Let's Talk Weight Loss Surgery

Gasp - what a novel idea for a weight loss surgery blog. I've been prattling on about my new crush, and sort of glossing over the weight loss stuff. That's easy to do when 1) you're not losing weight, 2) you're not exercising, 3) you're smoking again, for Pete's sake, how stupid are you and 4) really, all I'm thinking about is the new crush.

But it's been 13 months since my VSG surgery and that warrants some attention. You'll see that I'll work the new crush into this post, too, haha. But first a quick check-in:

• I've lost 117 pounds and am 6 pounds off my first goal of a normal BMI, or 140 pounds.
• The weight loss has really, really slowed down, and that is in part to my own behavior and in part because, well, I'm really pretty close to goal. In fact, the scale had bounced up to 150 at home, which sent me in terror back onto better eating. NO MORE 150s!!
• While the weight loss has slowed down, my body is still always changing. I cannot tell you how happy I am that my hanging gut no longer hangs onto myself. You know what I mean? It's just a flabby gut now - I am not quite able to do a "pencil test" like I saw on some movie or read in some book a million years ago. How do you know if you need to wear a bra? Put a pencil under your breast and if your breast holds the pencil in place, you need to wear a bra. (That was in the book or movie, haha, I wish I could remember the reference. Probably some Judy Blume book.) Anyway, I will absolutely let you know when my tummy can no longer hold up a pencil, and it feels like it will be very soon.
• Which is not to say that my stomach is not a disaster area. Ugh! Ack! Such awful loose skin, all wrinkly and stretch-marked, etc. Would I consider this a negative of the WLS? NO FREAKING WAY! Sometimes I do feel sort of badly about having gotten my body into this condition in the first place. But mostly, I'm just freaking stoked about the weight loss. :)
• Control top stretch camis, like Spanx or the ones I have, Assets from Target, do absolute freaking wonders to deceive the world about the disaster area that is my stomach.
• Oy, my breasts. Long, dangly pendulous things they've turned into! There is a breast job and tummy tuck in my future, I assure you. I do not know when, but it will happen. Even the "side boobs" are bad - maybe worse because they just sort of hang there and even like to puff out over the top of my stretch cami.
• I should make people sign a release form before seeing me naked. Oy. I did forewarn Sparky before subjecting him, haha. (Oh, see, I *can* go two minutes without talking about him!)
• Most days, I do not even remember the girl I was before this weight loss. And I am systematically eradicating her from the records, haha. I have my police volunteer ID to retake, then I think all the old pictures are gone from my IDs.
• Some days, I am still mentally 263 pounds. I am very funny about guessing what sizes I'll wear when shopping. Folding laundry can be a total mental head trip as I look at my new clothes. I will wake up feeling fat and like nothing will fit, only to find that some piece of clothing has gotten too big.
• I am LOVING dressing like a girly girl. Putting on makeup and earrings and cute outfits and such (ugh, I still struggle with shoes - I love cute shoes but hate painful feet with a purple passion). Sabrina in my office has been working on the re-girlification process for me since long before my surgery, but I am happy to say that it has finally "took." Now I'm just trying to build a supply of cute things so I'm not just rotating a handful.
• My eating is really quite good, I'd say, though I do have to be careful about little things. I have taken to buying two mini peppermint patties a day at work. Why? I do not know. Little opportunities for calories to sneak back in are something to watch.
• Sparky (oops, see, again, it was another couple minutes between mentioning him) isn't much of a drinker, but he does drink, so I may have struck on the perfect balance for me. Whereas when I drink, I will have two or maybe three drinks, when he drinks, he will have one or maybe two. Just adopting this "grown up" mindset will probably be very beneficial for me and my caloric intake, haha. I spent the whole weekend with Sparky and had probably three drinks total. This is more than I would have had if I were home alone, as I really am just a social drinker - but far less than I would have had if I had spent the weekend with oh, say, Cappy for instance, or my BFFs. Cappy had elevated my drinking to all-time highs, it really wasn't looking great for a distance plan.
• Speaking of Sparky, there is great incentive to take the rest of this weight off. He picked me up! I should like to be picked up more often. ;) I cannot tell you when/if the last time I was picked up was - high school??? Plus he has a great motorcycle with a super-comfy seat just for me. I want to ride on it, and I don't want to be "oh crap, she's weighing my bike down again." :)
• Some things about my eating seemed to have changed permanently. I used to eat a lot of spicy food, and I pretty much can't anymore. I can handle a little heat, but not too much. I am more lactose intolerant than I was, although I can eat a little bit of anything. I do not enjoy drinking pop. I can eat crunchy bread (oh my, can I ever) but not much regular bread.
• I am like the biggest self-molester you ever met. ;) All these bones!! I am completely fascinated with my hip bones - I don't think I ever felt them in my adult life, haha. I'll be sitting at the computer and notice I am just squeezing my forearm to feel the bone. Who knew people were so hard inside???
• In short - holy camoly what a great process this has been. I am loving this new body and new lease on life. So flippin' cool.