Blahs-ville

I have thought about blogging this week, really I have. When I haven't been consumed by the crippling pain that is the mangled muscles of my ruined thighs. YOWSA! Okay, Saturday afternoon I did two hundred squats. Saturday evening I walked like I was drunk. Sunday I was near paralyzed by pain. Monday I was unable to walk straight. Tuesday I was just incredibly sore. Today I actually would have hit the stairs again had my friend been able to join me, but she wasn't, so I pretended I couldn't find the staircase without her.

Tomorrow. Back on track tomorrow. I will be taking it easy - probably 2x20 flights instead of 2x44. Wow. Yes, I *could* do 200 squats but in retrospect, probably shouldn't have, hahaha.

Oy. Such a stressful time. I have less than a week to find a house or I am forcefully committed to sleeping on the couch for another year. Ask me how badly I want to find a house. Just ask. I have two remaining leads and I am pouring energy into them but it is really out of my control at this point. Oh yes, I have a third option: abandon kids and choose a home freely without regard to school boundaries. I'm not in school, what do I care?? ;)

Because life is never crazy enough, I initiated conversation with the mother of my youngest's bio-dad. I *could* spiral you into this whole other aspect of my life, but then you'd be half-bonkers too, so I try to keep the focus here on weight loss surgery and my changing body, habits and attitudes. But this has been a big thing and it touches on the emotional/stress eating that has always plagued me. I'm happy to say that I have not been stress/emotional eating, although I have been gnawing my fingernails, another bad habit of that same ilk. The conversations have gone extremely well - better than I could have ever hoped, but it is still stressful and now we have agreed to a paternity test, of which I both absolutely know the result and am completely and utterly terrified to test. Someday when I am feeling less like this: (((((ARGHHHHHH IS THIS REALLY MY LIFE????)))))) I'll expound upon this journey. Suffice to say it is positive, I am hopeful it will ultimately be helpful to my little guy and I am glad I opened the door (with my ex's full support - this isn't something I would do without engaging him).

Anyway. Tomorrow at 4:30 p.m. it will be my absolute most favoritest hour spent in my office building, a little time I call "naked with a hot black man," and my insurance calls "therapeutic massage - $15/copay." I have been looking forward to this for weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkksssss. At 4:30, everything will seem better, if only for a little while. Immediately afterward, friends and I are going to see Hangover 2, which better not have Mel Gibson in it or I swear I will spit nails. (Mel - God bless his Road Warrior heart that I adored for many years, gets no more money from me after the misogynistic/homophobic/anti-semitic/you-name-your-hatred-he-seems-to-have-it rants. I washed my hands of him, and I know at one point they planned a cameo for him in this movie. They better not "surprise" me. And I'd watch that ridiculous beaver movie, too, darn him.)