Wednesday Weigh-In (Urgh. Blech. Retch.)

Oh fine, whatever. Whatever. Jeez.

In my defense My excuses for the week are that we had early Thanksgiving at my parents' on Sunday. I made three pies. Last night I drank way too much wine and maybe I was bloaty.

Mostly, though, I am not exercising and my eating sucks.

The First Step is the Hardest

Ugh, I made myself get on the scale this morning. With a camera in my hand, even! I have been avoiding the scale for weeks now...months, even. I had weighed myself probably three weeks ago and told myself I would weigh myself again "after I've been eating well for a few days."

Well, you know how that goes. My clothes get more and more uncomfortable, I get more and more sad and frustrated, and wah-lah, the scale grows dusty in the bathroom corner.

I'm also calling to make an appointment with my GYN. I was complaining to a friend that I think I'm pre-menopausal (at 43??). I have been getting my damn period (or "flowers," as I have been thinking of it, since I've been reading a fictional book about the life of Josephine Bonaparte, and that's how they refer to it) every two weeks for months now. Blech. My smart friend suggested that perhaps this was worth checking out with a doctor. I will, but I hope it doesn't rob me of my excuse for sitting at her desk scarfing tootsie rolls out of her candy bowl all afternoon! Mmmm, chocolate... 

You may recall that quite some time ago, I had a uterine ablation to deliver a cease and desist order to my overactive uterine lining. It failed, apparently. :) My periods are quite light, but still there, and ever so frequent.

I'm stalling. Who wants to pull up that nasty a$$ picture and look at that ugly number again, bah.

Okay, here goes. Ufck. Pardon my French.

No amount of file manipulation will let me rotate this picture. 

Shake it off. I'm confronting the problem, and the hardest part was getting back on that damn scale. I'll post weekly weigh-in pictures moving forward. I got this.

Tomorrow I'll write a bit about my plan to turn this around. It goes beyond bitching and moaning, haha.

Accountability - Putting it out there

Ack! Things are falling apart here, and I am facing my own demons, realizing the path I am on is a familiar one when it comes to stress, laziness, boredom, and the onset of winter. :)

Thank you, Sheila at This One Body for checking in on me. I have probably a half dozen "draft" blog entries written that I never finished and thus, never posted. I should just start writing shorter blog entries, haha.

Let's see. I have been gaining a lot of weight. Who would have thought this would be possible for me to allow myself to do this, after going through weight loss surgery and very expensive tummy tuck plastic surgery? I am very disappointed in myself.

Excuses:
- G is a phenomenal cook who has been home from work for awhile, following knee surgery. Every dinner is on par with Thanksgiving dinner, it seems like.
- Have I ever, ever, ever told you how much I hate winter? Cold and wet are insufferable to me. And lady, we're just getting started!
- X and I have been battling a fair amount over joint custody issues. We're not really *battling,* I suppose, but we are both struggling and it is really hard and stressful. This is the first time in the four years since we split that I have consulted an attorney.
- I am lazy. I need to find a winter pasttime, because I do not want to do anything outside (unless it is sunny and I am guaranteed not to get cold).
- I realize, and accept, that for me to be really engaged in activity, I need a "spark plug." When I was with Mr. W, I would have toughed out bike riding in the crummy weather. I have always been sure that if I had a local running buddy, I would get more running done.
- I have all but given up on pushing my daughter to work out. She is busy with her first year in high school, her first regular babysitting gig, her debate club practices, volunteering, etc. And, like me, she doesn't prioritize exercise all that high. She needs a spark plug, too, but I am not that spark plug.

Meh. It will all work out. I am trying to work up the courage to do like one of my other favorite blogs, Runs for Cookies, and post a weekly weigh-in photo. It appears to be the only way I'll get myself on that friggin' scale. I haven't been on it in probably three weeks, and now I am too skeered. My clothes are all so damn tight, too. Bah.

Whine, whine, whine. I am struggling right now, that's not unusual for me this time of year. I will figure it out. :)

On a positive note, a woman in my office is having WLS (bypass) from my surgeon right before Christmas. I like to think that my success has been a big motivator for her, and I am feeling a certain sense of "responsibility" to be a good WLS veteran by working through my struggles.

Age Bracket Winner

Aw, the other day when I was looking at the Seattle Biggest Loser Half Marathon results page, I saw that my Alli was the only "14 and Under" girl to complete the event as a registered "Runner." (There were four girls 14 and Under who completed as registered "Walkers." - whispering: and all of them finished before my runner girl.)

But that is completely beside the point, this proud mama insists.

There are prizes handed out to age group finishers, you know. And in this event, prizes were awarded to both the top three Runners and the top three Walkers, separately.

I emailed the Biggest Loser event website the other day and asked if it would be possible for my daughter to receive her award. The website clearly states that winners must be present for the awards.

Happily, though, they are mailing my daughter her award. :)

Hi Julie,

Please send me your address and I can mail the award. It may take a couple of weeks as our trucks are in route to the next race and have the awards.

Thank you,
Sarah

Winner!

She is going to be soooooooooooooo thrilled. Shhhh, don't tell her, it's a secret. :)

And really, isn't it amazing to think that only FIVE girls 14 and Under completed this event? Regardless of time to complete, that is one helluva accomplishment for all of them!

p.s. - thank you all so much for your nice comments and feedback and support on my race re-cap post. I am very, very proud of my girl and we had a wonderful time at the event. It was so fun to be able to share that with you here!

Biggest Loser Seattle Half Marathon Race Re-Cap

Yesterday, my 14-year-old daughter and I completed a huge milestone together. She completed her first half marathon! We signed up for this event months ago, with great aspirations of going into it well-trained and ready to go. Well, that didn't happen. :)

However, we did have a wonderful time and we did complete that bad boy. My daughter feels an amazing sense of accomplishment and pride in her efforts. So much so that today she wore not only her race shirt, but also her medal to school, which cracked me up. I wish I had thought to take a picture!

I did take several pictures, though, including this one at the finish line:

So proud of my Bug.

This was the first year for the Biggest Loser race in Seattle. It was well organized, if more sparse than you would imagine for such a big name. There were a few people from previous Biggest Loser seasons at the start line, but they must have been late, because they weren't introduced until our heat was about to take off, and we were with the 15:00/mile pace group, toward the very end. It was fairly anti-climatic to have one guy from a previous season say he hadn't ever run a half-marathon, but he hoped to one day. And four, three, two, one...GO! Bah. Alli hoped that this one pair would be around after the race for photos but they were not.

As expected, Alli really got caught up in the energy and spirit of the event and went into her full athletic warrior mode. :) Ear buds in, determined look on face, and...run. We were not fast, but I have to say we were probably pretty consistent for most of the race. Incredibly, the longest she's ever gone is *maybe* five miles - she says five or six, but I am with her most all the time and I cannot think when she's exceeded a 5K.

We started off shortly after 8:00 a.m. as they released us in heats. They had a lot of pacers, which was great. It was a crisp and cold morning but it was totally bearable. Both of us decided to skip the gloves we had brought along.

At the starting line. I had tried to forewarn Alli exactly how long 13.1 miles is, haha.

For reference, I told Alli we were 14.2 miles from home to Gas Works Park in Seattle, where the race was held. That did give her a little pause: hey, this is long. She didn't let it get to her, though, and even by mile four, she was feeling pretty fresh.

This was a beautiful course. See the UW crew practicing in the background?

I had warned her that around mile 7 or 8 was when I have always mentally crumbled. It's so far, and you're barely halfway done. She was pretty chipper the whole way (well, until later...) and later admitted that at mile six she teared up because she was so tired and she wasn't even half way. I feel ya, sister.

She was getting a little tired of my pictures, but was a good sport.

By mile ten, she was pretty excited to finish, and the end was in sight. This part of the course was a looooooonggggg out and back, starting somewhere around mile nine and going until past mile 12. Myself, I like the out and backs because I am a people-watcher. :) I like to watch people running by, seeing all the different outfits, the different levels of fitness, etc. Watching runners and running styles is interesting, there's so much variety!

I tried to console her by saying now we only needed to run a 5K to finish, haha.

Alli really did so awesome. A half marathon is a long, long way. And her resolve never crumbled at all. If she teared up at mile six, I didn't know it. She said a couple times that she felt fine except her feet hurting so badly. My favorite was somewhere toward the end when she said that physically she felt great and could keep going, if only her body didn't hurt so much. I took this to mean that the spirit was willing, if the body was not.

We had a minor drama brewing throughout the race, in that Alli really hoped her dad would be at the finish line to cheer for her. She had talked to him about this for weeks and the best she could get out of him was that "he would try." He is a complicated person to describe, in that he is not an absent father, but he is awfully flaky. It is hard to get a commitment out of him until the last possible minute. On race day, I didn't say a word about him being there or not, and neither did she. At mile six or seven, I floated a balloon out to him by saying we were at mile six and she was going strong. His response, "Awesome." I didn't ask him if he'd be at the finish line because I knew I would be angry if he said no. Later, at mile ten, I texted him a status and again, his response was "Awesome."

I asked her to let me retake this picture and she said "No way," and took off.

Sometime after mile twelve, he texted, "We didn't miss you did we?" Sigh. Oh good, he is there. No, we were on our way. I told Alli he was at the finish line. She was happy. She would have loved for everyone we knew to be there, haha. I let him know when we entered the park so they could be ready.

Hilariously, my sweet Bug, who was so exhausted, kicked it in to high gear as soon as she saw the finish line. I would not have guessed she had it in her! She left me in the dust as I was texting and fussing with my earbuds.

It was cool to see my older son at the finish line, too (although there was a bit of me that bristled at why he didn't bring my younger son, too, who was just sitting at home with Greg waiting for us). I let it go. I think ex-husbands just irritate you, most times. They (X and the GF) were great sports, cheering for both of us and high-fiving us. Plus, I got to be elevated to super star athlete status in my son's eyes, who marveled, "You aren't even sweating!" Yes, son, I routinely blast out half-marathons without even breaking a sweat, haha.

Finish line. I cropped out the time clock. :)

Super proud of my girl, who says she does want to do more half marathons. When I have done them, I enjoy it so much and tell myself to do more, do more! I shall have to make myself capitalize on that desire. It is fun, and although it took us 3:57 to finish, it is a heck of a work out! I am feeling it in my hips today.

I was very pleased that Alli was already up and at 'em getting ready for school this morning. I was afraid she'd be super, super sore, but I guess she has youth on her side. :) She said she'll move slowly, and that if they are told to run in PE today, she will sit on the floor and cry until her teacher leaves her alone. I told her to tell him it's her recovery day.

Couple things from the race:
- On the last long out and back, we stopped for water on the out, but on the back, the water and gatorade, as well as all the volunteers, were GONE. Alli was bummed, and I had no alternatives for her. I felt sooooo badly for the people who hadn't reached the station for the first time yet....ugh. You can imagine at the tail end of this race, there were some people who really needed some water. Fortunately, there was one more water stop before the end of the race.
- The shirts and medals are very cute. I will have to post a picture later. The ribbon of the medal is a tape measure, haha.
- I expected more of a Biggest Loser type crowd there. There were surprisingly few kids or teenagers, I thought. Alli said it was because most kids were too smart to agree to run thirteen miles (this was somewhere between mile 11 and 12, haha). Most of the runners were, well, runners. A smattering of bigger people, but no more than I've seen at other events.
- It was very nice to see Lindsay and Stacie at the race. Lindsay came up to us before the race and wished us well and gave Alli a pep talk. On the first out and back, she was a great cheering section as she passed by, as well as on facebook later. :) We had registered on Stacie's team for the event but hadn't found each other before the event. We saw each other on the second out and back and she cheered us on, as well. It is fun to see people you know out there!

This Just Happened.

I did the stairs (all 62 flights for me!) with my good ole friend Barb for the second day in a row. We are recommitting without recommitting. You know, it's just like when you've been married (and divorced) before, and you're totally committing to someone without committing. Because you don't want to jinx it. Or because you've been burned too badly before. Or because you *like* stairclimbing, but you also like biking and running, and you just can't be tied down to one activity, it's so much pressure!

I saw this on facebook, and I was so motivated by it that I thought it would be life-altering from that very moment onward. But that was a few days ago, and I am still eating goldfish crackers until my tummy hurts. And then I remembered it, and I am newly renewed and committed. I shall endeavor to make sure I don't forget about it again!

Here's the picture that motivated me today. I have no idea who took it (well, I have a pretty good idea who took it, haha, my daughter). I just found it on my phone. I did not know my phone could take pictures like this! But I looked at this picture and I was so puzzled:

Who is that?

Uh-oh, I am not liking the shape of my body right now. To the point that I didn't even recognize myself standing in my own kitchen. :) Mental block, maybe? Ignore the kitchen and dining room, ugh, that kitchen hasn't been touched since the house was built in 1960. Remember, with real estate, it's location, location, location. Or at least that's what they tell you to justify the sky-high prices and 50 year old kitchens. :)

Firstly, I am making what I affectionately call my "carp face." Sigh. I should be nicer to me, but MUST I always look like a fish out of water?? Disclaimer for my benefit, I had just come from Blake's football game. It was hot. I was tired. :)

I hesitate to post this picture or comment on it, but really, I am hoping to use it to motivate myself just like that saying, above.

I just woke up one day and decided I didn't want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. So I changed. Just like that.

For my part, I did take an almost two-mile angry walk at lunch time today. And the stairs the last couple days, and a four mile run the day before yesterday.

I am trying, anyway.

What's the Mantra with You?

What a discouraging time this is for me. I am trying not to wallow, but it isn't easy. This morning I was checking out my reflection in the bathroom at work - I am not blessed with an unobscured full-length mirror in my own home, haha. Thanks to the miracles of combined households, it seems like every wall and floor surface is stacked high with stuff. I long-since gave up unobstructed view of my bedroom full-length mirror to Greg's nightstand. Deep sigh. Oh, pity me, single woman who longed for love and companionship, only to find it meant blocked mirrors and extra towels in the laundry. Mine is a tale of travesty and woe.

I have always used that line on my kids, too. Poor waifs, whenever something doesn't meet their liking, I comfort them with "Yours is a tale of travesty and woe..." They do not like it. They also do not like it when I make them sing the "I Love Mommy"* song whenever they are mad at me.

(*The lyrics and tune of the "I Love Mommy" song are at the child's discretion, as long as they are not derogatory or menacing toward their mommy, haha. This started when Alli was just a toddler and she would spontaneously burst out in song, "Mommy, is my mommy, and I love her, yes, I love her!" Little did she know what she was getting herself into, now, at 14, having to sing the I Love Mommy song when she really wants to poke me with pins.)

I was thinking about mantras and the I Love Mommy song this morning. I was waking my 8 year old up for school, and I was cooing over him the way I always do. I think I have mantras for each kid when we have a quiet moment like that alone, but I couldn't tell you what they are, really. Just words that automatically come out of my mouth at that time. Reid's includes, "My son, mama's sweet boy, mama loves you so much. I am so proud of you..." and Alli's, "What a wonderful Bug you are. Mama loves you so much, you are such a wonderful girl..." and Blake's "Oh, my wonderful son. You are such a good boy, mama loves you so much."

Anyway, this is all a very long (and personal) preamble to say that this morning,  I was waking up my 8 yo, Reid. I realize I must automatically coo the same words each morning and he lays there quietly, still mostly asleep. Because this morning when I called him a "handsome character," as in, "What a handsome character you are," his eyes flew open.

"What??" he said, bewildered.

"A handsome character," I said. "It means you're good-looking and interesting."

"Oh," he said, "just tell me the regular parts, please." And he closed his eyes and curled up against my legs.

There is a point to all this, besides the fact that I have pretty cool kids. I was thinking about these little mantras and how Alli has a toddler in her life (X's GF's sister's kid, if you can sort that out) that she loves and adores. And Alli has her own mantra for her, a modified version taken from The Help: "You is smart, You is kind, You is important."

I have my own little mantras for myself, but I don't build myself up the way I do my kids. No, most of mine are little tear-downs...you're going to regain all this weight you've lost, you are blowing all the hard work and expense of the tummy tuck surgery (and, for that matter, the weight loss surgery), etc.

Wow, for as loving as I am to my kids, I am downright mean to myself! I am working on this, trying to reprogram some of these subconscious mean-spirited mantras I play as my internal soundtrack.

Cut me some slack, Jack!

Lazy Bones

Too lazy to exercise, too lazy to blog, too lazy, too lazy! How about a nice little brain dump post while I eat an early lunch? (Fresh salsa and chips courtesy of my man, yummm...)

• Back to school this week. I've got a high schooler, a middle schooler and an elementary schooler. My daughter is loving high school so far! Although there was a fair amount of angst today about the "Friday Freshman Block" in which seniors purportedly block the hallways so freshmen can't get by. Plus, it's spirit wear Friday and her school sweatshirt and sweats have not been delivered yet. Nothing to wear to show her colors! She painted her fingernails in the school colors and hoped that the seniors didn't kill her. As a freshman, I remember being afraid of the seniors. As a senior, I remember being way too caught up in my own life to even notice there were freshmen at the school. :)
• Speaking of high school; I am (re-)reading Henry James "The Turn of the Screw." I purportedly read it in Junior or Senior year honors lit. I have no memory of it except my classmate titled her paper on the book "In Need of a Screw," which must have struck me as so HILARIOUS that I still remember it 5 10 15 20 25+ years later. Anyway, I am HOOKED on this story and again, do not remember it, so I only know that there is a shocking twist to the plot, but I am gleefully unaware of what it will be. My cluelessness reminds me that although I was a solid straight A student in high school, I think I was largely just going through the motions. College, too. Very little actual book learning seems to have stuck with me over the years. 
• My half-time kids are now full-time kids. X and I discussed it over the last several weeks. The decision was two-pronged: our boys, who need structure and consistency at home to hopefully improve their at best, mediocre, and at worst, abysmal, school performance. Plus, X is in deep financial straits due largely to a struggling small business he and his GF bought a few years ago (despite my many admonitions against the purchase, citing three identical businesses we knew of over the years that failed. I will say I told you so here, but not to X, who really is sad and overwhelmed right now). Anyway, he's broke, which puts untold extra financial pressure on me, which is straining our co-parenting, which makes everyone's existence a little harder. I pointed out that his financial struggles mean I have to pick up the financial slack, which I can only do because Greg is sharing expenses with me, which puts a strain on me and Greg because he wants me to be putting my own financial house in order for our own future. Me using Greg's money to effectively raise my children effectively means Greg is supporting X's kids, which is not a position that I, X or Greg want to be in. So, for now, the kids are with me full-time while X seeks gainful employment to get back on solid ground. It's a hard time for everyone. The worst part of it is that X is moving to GF's house, which is rather far away...too far for joint custody while the kids are in school. That, in itself, has rather telling implications toward the permanency of this arrangement. I have decided not to overthink right now.
• I'm glad to have the kids around f/t, and admit that joint-custody is a crutch that I've used to not be as good of a parent as I should when it comes to the boys' school work. It's hard to get a good, consistent routine with kids when you know they're just leaving again in a couple days. It's hard to track homework through to completion, etc. I will be sooooooooooooooo tired from all this parenting but everyone will be better for it.
• F/T parenting sort of kills bike commuting. My 8yo is a complicating factor for both the morning ride in (because I have to leave so early) and the afternoon ride home (mainly because of daycare pickup and not wanting to push Alli or Greg into what I consider my responsibility). Eh. I'm a bit stuck right now on the work outs. I know if I want it badly enough, I'll figure it out. Problem is, right now, I don't want it. 
• Which brings me to my always fun change of season blues. Where would I be without you, depression? Here, in Seattle, we have had the most GLORIOUS summer! It has been sunny and dry for months now. I have basked in the sun nearly every day. And then, throw in a couple rainy days, and some chemical switch flips immediately in my head and I am blue. Not depressed, just blah. And blue. After this beautiful summer, spent largely outdoors, I have to say, body chemistry, it seems ungrateful. :)
• Holy smokes, could anyone hate their hair more than I do mine right now? Ugh. I'm at an in-between stage growing out my bangs, and it is all out war against this one awful cowlick. 

It's really awful. Plus, the humidity doesn't help.

• I had another awful plastic surgery appointment this week. I think it's mainly the culprit for my funk. This was the other doctor in the practice, who took my pictures, made me get on the scale, and recommended about a bazillion dollars worth of additional work I should have done on my face and breasts. I should stop going to plastic surgeons. I love *mine,* but hearing about facelifts and treatments I'll never be able to pay for...well, it's hard. Plus, I've gained fourteen pounds since my tummy tuck in November 2012. He was like, "What are you doing??" Ah. What am I doing??
• Ugh, bummer of a way to end a post. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! Get back on that horse, if you've fallen off like me! :)

Snohomish River Run - Part Deux

Last year, I ran the inaugural year of the Snohomish River Run Half Marathon. I am looking forward to doing it again this year, although I am in worse better worse better shape than I was in last fall. Truth be told, I don't know what kind of shape I'm in right now. :) I was running more then, and I felt stronger and more confident in running. Last week I ran 3.1 miles on the treadmill - really ran - and I felt it for days afterward. Biking translates loosely to running, I would say. As far as cardio goes, I would say I'm in great shape, running or biking. My legs are obviously very strong. But I was surprised at how really opening it up on the treadmill* (*bahaha, this is a VERY subjective term!), while feeling AWESOME, definitely made me pay a price in terms of overstretched, sore muscles. I really need to follow a training plan. To do this, I feel I need to quit my job and move to a desert island with no children, or dare I say, significant other.

Anyway! I like the Snohomish River Run. It is very, very flat, which makes me happy. It had a couple long out and backs, which I don't mind. I think I may actually like them?? It somehow makes me feel like I am closer to finishing.

Happy finisher from 2012.

I am anticipating, nay, EXPECTING, that they will have more potties along the route this year. That was my chief complaint last year, but I chalk it up to rookie mistake. I know they got a lot of feedback about it from me and other runners. The race organizers are super-responsive, as I have learned from their facebook page and the emails I get about the design of this year's t-shirts, etc. I am finding myself getting excited about the event, if not as prepared as I would like to be.

Which I should really get on the stick about. :) The event is 10/27, and besides that, Alli and I are doing the Biggest Loser Half Marathon on 10/13 in Seattle. I am feeling ill-prepared, haha.

HEY! If you want to join me at the Snohomish River Run, here's a discount code for you to use, too: TRIING_SRR13

Just Think About How Much You've Changed Your Life

A coworker said that to me yesterday. I was talking to him about the locker room facility I use daily now after my ride in. We were mid-discussion about these locker rooms, which are available to all employees. And right in the middle of it, he paused and smiled and said, "Just think about how much you've changed your life over the last couple years."

Now, these days, I am thinking about biking, and weight fluctuations, and I-really-need-to-be-running-in-preparation-for-two-half-marathons-this-fall, and that sort of thing. I don't think much about Fat Julie anymore. It was kind of a nice reflection when he said it, this guy that I've known a little for several years but we're not close or anything.

You go, girl. I may be stressing over "seriously, what happens if you're fall cycling jacket doesn't fit this year?" but in the grand scheme of things...way to go. I'm a hundred-something pounds lighter, I don't smoke anymore, I don't take anti-depressants, I don't take narcotics for pain, I'm active nearly every day. The differences are amazing.

On a different, but related note, I'm going to claim credit now for biking to work every day this week. :) That's premature, but I was tired on my ride in this morning, and I think if I claim it now I'll have to do it, haha. Although I am also contemplating taking a vacation day tomorrow...hmm...well, if I come to work, I will come via bike. How's that? 

This will actually be my first time I've commuted in every day! I've done three days, I may have done four days. I'm a little bit cheating here, because it's also the first time that I've ridden in and thrown the bike on the bus home. I'm trying to become a full-time bike commuter, but here's the thing. It's EXHAUSTING! By Thursday morning, I've been spent. It's been hot here in Seattle, and those commutes home were tiring me out. Okay, that last mile home (straight uphill) was tiring me out, and I am too stubborn or proud to throw my bike on the bus for just that last mile, although I certainly have the opportunity.

Anyway, so my strategy for this week was to ride in every morning. That in itself will give me a happy feeling of accomplishment. I actually enjoy the morning ride more than the afternoon commute, anyway. I'm happy and refreshed when I get to work, I feel sharp and physically fit. Those afternoon commutes, when I arrive home hot, sweaty and tired, facing three kids who have been waitingallday to "air their grievances," as I think of it...well, it can be a bit much. And now, I might as well throw in that besides three kids, I also have a neatnik boyfriend who is pretty much also waiting to air his grievances about my messy children, as well. Oy. You need your strength to walk into that house, let me tell you.

Go back to school, kids. I'm actually taking off a fair amount of time next week to accomplish just that: getting ready to ship everyone back to school. I got my daughter's high school packet in the mail yesterday. DO YOU KNOW IT WILL COST ME $350 JUST TO GET HER ADMITTED INTO HIGH SCHOOL?? ASB card, year book, orchestra fees, cross-country fees, PE fees, etc etc etc. Criminy. The boys will be expensive, too, but thankfully less so.

I better keep riding in, all that exercise keeps my head clear and wards off depression. Yikes.