Busy, Athletic Weekend

Oh, I hope we can become one of THOSE families. You know, the kind that are always doing fun athletic activities together? Well, this weekend, we sure are, anyway.

- Saturday: my son's football game. Ugh, this will be the first game of the season in bad weather! I was volunteered to work the chain crew. What does this mean?? They tell me I need no experience.Whew. It's bad when the team mom calls you out for not volunteering for any activities all season. Eek. Their volunteer activities are hard! Announcing, keeping time clock, video recording, chain crew...I don't know what the heck I'm doing out there. Don't they have volunteer opps to drop off snacks??

- Sunday: Jen from Runner Maybe, Alli and I are doing the Cupcake Classic Virtual 5K. The best part after what will surely be a long, rainy run is that we are having cupcakes afterward, haha. I expect I'll let my boys have a cupcake, too, even though I doubt they will do the 5K. And that's okay, because we're meeting at the high school and doing the 5K while the boys do a LACROSSE CLINIC. I know nothing about LAX except that Blake needs a spring sport and doesn't want to play baseball next year, and Reid needs a sport that he can run and run and run. This is a three-week Sunday clinic that we are all looking forward to trying out.

Eh, maybe there will be some bike riding thrown in there. I sure hope so, but it's supposed to be dreary all weekend. I don't have any rain gear...yet. I am working on it. I have also stumbled onto two pairs of bike shorts that someone is selling for cheap on the bicycle club bulletin board. Size small. Am I a size small? I think so - but I am sure I will be after the tummy tuck, anyway. In an interesting twist, the woman who is selling them is some sort of counselor or something - we talked on the phone for a few minutes while I was pulled off the side of the road on last night's ride. Anyway, she knows my weight loss surgeon and acted in some official guest capacity at the bariatric surgery support group. She seemed very nice and was interested in hearing about my journey - which came up after I said I wasn't sure if I'd fit the size small shorts now, but I bet I will in a month or so, haha. Lots of flab being removed - it's why I'm hesitant to commit to any new bike clothes (or any clothes, for that matter) until after the surgery!

And now for something completely different.

Ugh, I am so blah today. It's the first rainy day in 81 days, that might be part of it. I'm sorry, Seattle, I love you so much, but I hate the rain. I am eating soup for lunch - and I haven't eaten soup in probably two years. I'm not a big soup girl. :) 

I am lonely. Biking is *so fun* and I am so looking forward to getting more and more into it, but wow, I sure default quickly to lonely when I'm not fully occupied. I was thinking about it: I am not someone who *ever* thinks, "I just want to be alone." What is that? I think, when I was married, I probably felt that way a lot. X and I did not have a good marriage, so by default, we were just apart from each other a lot. 

Anyway, I say this because I am coming into the hardest time of the year for me, and I know it. I love the bright sunny days of fall, but they quickly turn into long, dark depressive days for me. This year, I hope I will have enough to keep myself occupied, what with taking and posting photos of my flat tummy on the blog, bouncing quarters off my new abs, etc. 

When I got divorced, even as fat as I was, I never expected I'd have such a difficult time finding a new partner. I mean, come on! I've got it going on, girl. I'm highly educated, terribly witty, well-employed, and cute as a button. (Look at me giving myself a dreary fall day pep talk, haha.) Sure, I'm bankrupt, and I have three kids, and I pointed out to a coworker yesterday that I haven't been on an airplane since 1996 and that was only my second trip. I'm not the pinnacle of interesting and worldly, in other words. But I have redeeming qualities.

I'm totally burned out on dating, in general, and online dating, in particular. I've decided that weird men gravitate toward online dating. Lance Armstrong and I have run our course - it was a very short course indeed, as I knew it would be from the start. We are very different people. Um, all he does is work and ride his bike. (All I *want* to do is work and ride my bike, haha, but I am forced to have other interests and obligations.) If he is not enough to make me take a hardline position against dating alcoholics, well then, I don't know what will be. He can't go into bars, he says I can have a drink around him but that seems wrong. The odd-but-true clincher for me was this week when he came by before work to see my new bike. He had been smoking. Here's a guy who rides 70+ miles with his friends every Sunday, who still wore nicotine patches when he sees his ex, and now tasted like cigarettes at six o'clock in the morning. Sigh. His addictive nature + my addictive nature = No Good. I couldn't decide if I should be irritated about the cigarette or bum one off him, haha. KIDDING! OMG, there have been times, of course, when I have wanted one again, but I am holding true to my promise to myself to never touch one again. Quitting is such an incredible hassle. Even my plastic surgeon is making me take a $35 nicotine test to prove I'm not smoking before he'll agree to the surgery. (Google image search "skin necrosis+plastic surgery" - gross.)

I saw that Clint Eastwood-eyed motor cycle rider a couple times, too. OMG, B-O-R-I-N-G. Nice enough guy, but holy isht, boring. And I'm not dating from the Federal Way pond anymore, do you know how far away from me that is? (Well, like 25 miles - but it's 25 agonizingly long miles.) I've got a friend here at work who online dates with large geographical settings. I set mine to the absolute minimum, which is usually 25 miles. I don't want to have to book a flight to say hello, haha.

Anyway, it's a lull, and I have plenty on my plate, anyway. It's just a tough time of year for me. I am actually planning to take a chance on a waterproof cycling jacket - even if it ends up being a bit big after the surgery, it will keep me on the road until the surgery date, and I think that's the best thing for me.

Big Afternoon - First Cross Country Meet

I told you my 13yo daughter joined the cross country team at school, right? Wow, what a HUGE step this was for her! You wouldn't believe how proud I am. First off, she's not a "joiner," so seeking out and joining any team is a big step for her. And secondly, for being new to running...at any age or fitness level, it takes *guts* to join a running team. Thirdly, she joined late, so the team had already formed and been practicing. It's hard coming into a cohesive group as a new kid. She talked two girlfriends into joining with her, but they both bailed after the first practice.

And my baby did it anyway. :) I'm busting-buttons proud of her. 

Jen (Runner Maybe), me and Alli at the Issaquah 5K

Today is her first XC meet. She is nervous. But man, this girl rocks a brave face. She casually invited me to the meet, where she will be running a 3K. I told her I'd try to attend, and when I said I was able to get the afternoon off, she was over the moon excited. She's been texting me this afternoon to make sure I'm coming. Oh, I'll be there, baby. :)

And I called the school and told them to make sure my son stays for tutorial (after school study hour with the teacher). Oh, it's a grab bag, pick either Math or Science. His online grades are giving me the shivers. Yuck. The other day I had made it explicitly clear that he needed to attend math tutorial after school. He did not. When I got home (on my new bike, yay!!), I stopped at the football field and asked him if he attended. When he said no ("I didn't know you wanted me to!") I told him to go tell the coach he is leaving because he did not go to tutorial. OH BOY, was he ever pissed!

We got home and HE gave ME a lecture about how the field is for players, and I'm not to step foot on the field. And that I should NEVER EMBARRASS him like that again. And that he has an OBLIGATION to his TEAM!

Oh, you know we had words. I'll tell you where your obligation is, you little punk. :)

He did go to tutorial this morning, and I pray he did okay on his math test today, as well. But I am shocked at his grade in Science, as well. This kid is lazy, lazy, lazy when it comes to his studies. Or anything but football, really. So I called the office and told them to have him stay for Science tutorial and I will pick him up after the XC meet.

Children. Grr.

Cycle Addiction and Enablers

Maybe instead of "enablers," I mean "pushers!" I am so lucky to have become completely addicted to bicycling (no, really, it's all I think about) and even luckier to be surrounded by such wonderful bicycling friends. I am having a BLAST!

First off, did I show you my new baby? I don't think I did. Lance Armstrong found him for me on craigslist the other day. I'm now a two-bike woman:

Aw, who's a pretty baby? Who's a pretty baby?

I had no business buying a second bike, especially so soon after buying a first bike, so the only explanation I can offer is that this is what addicts do. I had sort of only intended to try out the road bike. I haven't been on one since I was a kid. This was a good one, and it was made for super shorties like me. I say "sort of only intended to try" because I stopped at the cash machine on the way down and got out $400, one hundred dollars less than a fair asking price. So I tried the bike and in 1.5 seconds I knew I needed to have him. Needed. (Addict, see?) I offered the guy $400, to which he flatly refused. He paid over $900 for it less than three years ago and his wife rode it once. Deeeeeeeeep sigh. I found $22 more in my wallet*. He very begrudgingly sold it to me. I was so lucky, because I was the first to call on it and the first to see it. He didn't want to sell it for less than $500 (which I am told was a fair price) but I convinced him that not having to meet anyone else must be worth $78. (*I actually took out $420 from the cash machine and put $400 in my pocket and $20 in my wallet - along with the typical big bucks I usually carry, haha. So when I offered to buy it, I took out the four hundred dollars cash and said I would buy it right now for $400. He wanted to sell it. Wouldn't you when you're looking at a wad of bills? But he didn't want to go so low, so I said, "Well, let me look and see if I have any more in my purse." So I went to my car and brought out my purse and "found" the $22 bucks. I told him, "I'll give you everything I have, but that's all I've got." It was all very strategic, haha. I'm surprised he didn't give me the used car salesman line of "Okay, but I'll be eating rice and beans for a week." But the clincher was, as with any purchase, you have to be willing to walk away. It would have killed me, but if he wouldn't have sold it for $422, I would have walked away - which is why I only took out $420, so I didn't collapse and throw $500 - $600 at him just so I could have the bike I wanted so badly, haha!)

Here's my rougher-tougher baby. We need bike names now.

I could name the bikes after the two men in my life who found them for me, haha. They were competing for my affections of their type of biking over the other, with grudging respect for the opposite. Grudging. Both boys are super-serious-really-really-dedicated to their sports. Really, boys, there's enough bike love for me to go around...I guess I had deeper pockets than I thought, 'cause here I am with two craigslist bikes. And I love them both enough to marry them! (The bikes, not the boys.)

My mountain biking friend has been a huge cheerleader for me to start riding. He urges me to go on the bike group rides, he talks me into trying more adventurous routes and distances, etc. That was in the early addiction days. Now he listens to me talk ENDLESSLY about my next ride or whatever cycling thing is on my mind. There's always something. It's the addict in me.

And how happy am I to have reconnected with Susanne from Tummy Like a Banana?? Susanne and Sheila were my two very first blogging friends when I started on my own WLS journey. When Susanne sort of faded from blogging, it was because she had thrown herself headfirst into a cycling addiction of her own. I had greatly enjoyed reading her posts about her new cycling adventures, but in a "hmm, bicycling, that's interesting...for you, maybe" sort of way. You know, when you're happy your friend found an interest, but you don't think it's one you'd share. I felt that way about Kim and her running forever. :) Yes, yes, buddy, go run. Fascinating.

And then you get into the addiction yourself. I was thinking of it today like this. I never used to have a passion. You know, when someone asks you what your passions are? Generally on an online dating site questionnaire, haha. Oh, I don't know. My kids. That's about all I could muster. A coworker here is into Search and Rescue, that's a passion. There's a SCUBA diver. A world traveler. Me, I like watching Dexter.  I was game for generally any activity (not usually of the physical exercise variety, though, haha). Road trip, winery tour, whatever.

Passions. Now I gots me some passions. I am still lumping running into this, although I consider myself on the wary-injured list. (Although, did I tell you I am doing PT 2x/wk until the Snohomish River Run on 10/28? This half marathon will be completed, I tell you. My PT says that I should have come in at least four weeks ago, but he's working with what he's got.)

Cycling. It's all I think about! I lost my train of thought, though. I had gone back through and devoured all of Susanne's old blog entries about cycling and was eating them up, having experienced so many of the same feelings myself. All the excitement, all the fun! Then Sheila emailed me and said, "hey, you should get in touch with Susanne, it would be fun for you guys to talk about this together." Well, duh! I emailed Susanne and we have been happily buzzing back and forth with lots and lots of talk of cycling and all its related goodness, including cute boys in bicycle clubs. You know I'm lookin', haha.

Today I had lunch with my good friend T, who I know to be a cyclist - one of the "out of my league" variety. No way, she says! She is super stoked to start riding with me, her husband doesn't ride and she sort of fell off doing it. But she did the STP:(Seattle to Portland) last year and she loves riding! We are going out for a long ride next Sunday. I've been barraging her with other riding opportunities, like the CBC STP Training Series, and she's totally on board to come along. HOW EXCITING!!

Next year, I've got plans:
- I am doing a triathlon. Because I'm a strong swimmer, I'm not afraid of swimming in lakes (a lot of people are, you know!) and if I'm already running and biking, well, I just feel obligated to do a triathlon.
- Maybe the STP? Everyone should do it once.
- More interestingly, I'm looking at these very fun 4-day cycling tours around the region.
- And there's tons and tons of one or two day type cycling events around here. Races and rallies and treks, OH MY! Count me in!!

(umm, apparently in 2013 I plan on becoming quite wealthy, and either child-free or my children will have to jump on the cycling-addiction train, haha)

So, you know I'm having my tummy tuck surgery on 11/12. I am very, very excited about it. Plan on having to look at lots of pictures of my bare midriff. I've already made you look at my nekky "before" picture, and you don't wanna see the one that I've made Kim and Tina look at, haha. Talk about proving my case for the need for plastic surgery! (It's a forward-bend picture, and it'll make your eyes bleed.)

Here's how addicted to cycling I am. I am already very put out about how long the surgery will keep me off my bike. Really rather vexed about it. I've become so exercise-enamored that I am taking brisk walks at lunch just for the heck of it. I'm not trying to lose weight (well, I am beating down the scale a little bit), I am getting plenty of exercise on my bike, and still, I'm just out there whoring for endorphins. :)

Sooooooooooo fun.

Exciting Ride: Hyak to Snoqualmie via Rattlesnake Lake

Ooooo, is this going to turn into a cycling blog? MAYBE! :) Nah - I still have to talk to you about men and plastic surgery and not eating too much because you think you are a super-stud bicyclist but the scale reflects that you are not, in fact, exercising as much as you think you are. :)

But on Sunday, I went on the bike ride that I have been very, very excited to do all summer long. Problem was, I needed two cars to do it and I couldn't wrangle together another rider. Note to self: make more bicycling friends. The Cascade Bicycle Club organizes this ride, but they did it on one of my kid-weekends. A meetup.com bicycling group did it, but also on a kid-weekend. Lance Armstrong said it would be fun to do, but with his $7500 racing/road bike, it is not possible. Deep, heartfelt sigh. I could not find anyone to do this ride with me.

And why not?? It's only the best bicycle ride in the country! You start at the top of Snoqualmie Pass and you ride down, down, down the mountain to Rattlesnake Lake, then you can do like we did and continue down further into the town of Snoqualmie. It was 32 miles one way, at a very gradual downhill slope (so you weren't pedaling uphill, but you had to pedal the whole way). I found a willing riding partner a couple weeks ago when I went on my first Cascade ride: I asked two of the riders, Justin and Michelle, if they'd be interested in joining me sometime. They were! We scheduled the date for 10/7.

Michelle actually bailed at 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning by text: she said she had hurt her neck and couldn't go. That was okay because to me she had always seemed a little iffy, and I was SUPER STOKED EXCITED for this ride and didn't want anyone bringing me down. Justin and I met shortly after 10 a.m. and drove his car over to our end-point of the ride. Then we loaded his bike onto my car and drove twenty-some miles up the mountain to our start point. Later, we'd drive his car back up the mountain to get my car. You see why you need a second vehicle for this trip, otherwise you'd want to make it a shorter ride so you could go back up the hill. It can be done, but it's a lot of work. Heck - just orchestrating the car situation is also a lot of work, haha.

Well, I didn't know much about Justin except that he was a nice guy and he likes to ride bikes. Young guy. Has a car and was willing to do this ride, so I automatically adored him. So I was cracking up when he said he had to watch the time - he and his fiance were meeting the man who is officiating their 11/3 wedding at 5:00 p.m. at the place where the wedding was being held. No pressure to finish the ride on time, oh my!!

Biking Buddy/Groom

We got to the top of the mountain and parked, and headed off for the trail. The abandoned train tunnel is pretty much right at the trail head, so the hugely anticipated part of the ride began right away. This tunnel is 2.5 miles long, perfectly flat and INSANELY, PITCH BLACK DARK. Wow. I would lose my marbles in it if my light burned out. And I could not have ridden it alone. You start out in that tunnel and there is a tiny pin-point of light at the very far end. It is very, very far away, and I think it was only there because it was such a gorgeous sunny fall day. On a cloudy day, I wonder if it would just be utter darkness? We rode through that tunnel and laughed nervously and joked about flat tires and dead batteries. It was SUPER FUN but super scary. You could do some serious psyche-damage to yourself or someone else in that tunnel, eek.

But we made it through. And I was amazed, because later we saw people bringing young kids into it. I would not bring my kids into it, I think. Really, really dark. Really, really long.

Scary.

After the tunnel, we still had a bazillion and one miles to ride. And we did. And it was GORGEOUS. The day was perfect, my riding buddy was perfect company, it was crisp and cold and sunny and the trail was full of autumn colors. Absolute heaven. I think I may become a mountain bike rider. Like on trails and stuff. For reals. I was in heaven.

We made it to our first destination, Rattlesnake Lake. How appropriate, since Justin had confessed he is very afraid of snakes and while he had spotted a couple on the trail, I had actually run one over with my bike, oops. It picked a very silly spot to sun itself, I say. Sorry, snakey. On the way to the lake, we passed over at least three old railroad trestle bridges. The scenery was stunning, I promise you. What a perfect day.

Rattlesnake Lake. No snakes spotted here.

We had a picnic lunch at the lake, or rather, I did. I had picked up a Subway sandwich for us to share, as well as a couple bags of chips. But he said he is a very, very picky eater, and since there was mustard on the sandwich, he wouldn't touch it. Uh, he also said he was a very, very picky eater as a child, so it sent a little shiver down my spine thinking about my own picky eater at home. But I ate without him, because I'm telling you, after I "bonked" that day on one of my first long rides, I don't wanna do that again. I'm being much more careful about eating and staying hydrated. Note that my earlier post that admitted the scale said 143-something: maybe I'm being too overzealous about making sure I eat, hahaha.

A bridge along the way. I had such a fantastic day.

From Rattlesnake Lake, we had about nine miles left to Justin's car. We had to change trails, so it was a little touch and go for a minute as we wanted to BE SURE we were on the right trail, haha. By now, Justin was a bit nervous watching the clock...neither of us are experienced enough riders to accurately gauge how long a ride will take, and we were in an area unfamiliar to both of us. And his fiance had texted in a couple times making sure he'd be back on time. Eek! Oh well, I wasn't going to let it dampen my day - all we could do is finish the ride, right?

The ride into town seemed farther than we expected: wow, we were both tired. Conditioning-wise, I would say we are at about exactly the same spot in our abilities. Perfect! Hopefully his soon-to-be-wife will let him ride with me again, because it is fun to ride with someone you know you aren't holding back, etc. But who is proficient enough that you can still keep yourself challenged.

Our ride ended with the trail passing right through the middle of a golf course, we knew. It took for-freaking-ever to get to the golf course. It was hot - I was dressed in 5000 layers and was roasting. That's the price of doing a ride with such crazy elevation changes: I wore gloves on top of the mountain and was still cold, but was drenched in sweat the last few miles of the ride, where it was much, much warmer at lower elevation. (The ride from start to finish was about a 2200 foot elevation change.) My legs and butt were killing me. :) I so badly want to do some of these long rides - and I will next year - but right now, I'm pretty well tapped at 30+ miles. When we finally reached Justin's car, we both sort of collapsed into it. Because now we were realllllllllly running late for Justin's marriage to be on the line before it even gets started important appointment, we threw his bike in the car and locked mine at the park. Then he zipped me back up the mountain and dropped me off at my car.

I had to remind myself all the way down the mountain to stop back in town and pick up my bike, haha. And still, I almost passed the freeway exit. Loaded up and headed home. I had actually planned to see Lance Armstrong yesterday afternoon. I have been pretty cheesed with him that he does these really, really long bike rides and then seems utterly spent for the rest of the day and can't get together. And on my way home, I found myself *hoping* that Lance Armstrong would cancel. Now I know what it's like to do these really, really long bike rides and not want to do anything else for the rest of the flipping day, haha. But his rides are more than twice as long and are twice as fast as mine. Phooey on him. And he did call me, testing the waters to cancel because he was tired - and I *jumped* on it. Yes, yes, let's reschedule.

Next post will be about men, but don't expect anything exciting. Mostly, my feelings about men right now are they are annoying and keep me from riding my bike. But not for long, because I'm about to shuttle the whole lot of them. :)

Go-Go Super Cycler!! First (Partial) Bike Commute

Happy Monday! Well, besides the fact that I woke up with Mt. Vesuvius on my chin - really, this is one of the first times I have actively considered buying a band-aid to cover up a zit - it's a great day. Yes, once again I spontaneously decided to ride my bike to work. It went off a little better this time. :) But it started with me pushing the snooze button on my alarm one hundred times. It graduated from there to seriously considering calling in sick. Or at least faking a doctor appointment so I could go in late.

It's amazing how I rally sometimes. Because refusing to get out of bed somehow turned into "I'll ride my bike to work." How do you go from "I'm not getting out from under these blankets, and if I *do* I refuse to take a shower *and* I'm wearing leggings to work," to "Hey, it's really, really cold and dark outside - how about I hop on the bike??" (Answer: I'm crazy. I believe I've tipped my hand on this one a few times here, yes?)

Oh yes, I did! :)

Okay. Deciding to ride at least got me out of bed. And I was more prepared than I was last week when this attempt bombed, because I'd already transferred my lights and such to the new bike. Of course, getting out the door required a lot more thought than I had time to give:

- What to wear? Uh, plus, all my gear is dirty and sweaty from some serious rides this weekend (more later).
- Oops, I have to put all my lights and bags and such back on the bike, since I took it off after yesterday's ride (I had to leave my bike locked up at a park, thus, all the bags and lights come off. Very spendy stuff.)
- WHAT TO WEAR?? I went with my new super warm leggings with jeans over them. They made my jeans very tight, which made me unhappy. T-shirt, cardigan, all with a stretchy gut-squisher underneath since the jeans were tight, thus making major muffin-top. New fall coat from Costco, which I *love* but as a new athlete, I am finding that clothes matter. This coat is almost RUBBERIZED, and it does not breathe one little bit, so I find when I wear it when I ride - it is nasty. This is why they make special athletic clothes.
- Also, the scale said 143-something this morning, which threw me into a snit, and was not the least important among the reasons I used to decide to ride this morning.
- Okay, don't forget the bike lock. How badly would that suck? Getting to the Park & Ride without my bike lock would throw me into a spiral of confusion. Leave bike? Put bike on bus? Turn around and ride home?

When I do spontaneous stuff like this (which I do all the time - all the time - all the time - this is the story of my life, haha) - it sometimes occurs to me how much better it would be to plan things out. Better, maybe, but funner?? I think not!! I got it all together and was able to hop on my bike and zoom off. In the dark. And the cold. This was a new experience for me, for sure.

I decided to take my life into my own hands and take the neighborhood arterial hill toward the Park & Ride. This is a very steep hill, but that wasn't what bothered me (as it's downhill to head to work). But I was riding in the dark and I would refuse to use the sidewalk. I did that before, and with all the bazillions of driveway cuts and curb ramps, it was like riding a freaking roller coaster. Hateful. If you do not cycle and you wonder why bicyclists do not just use the sidewalk - THIS IS WHY. It sucks. Plus, my butt is very, very sore from a couple of long rides this weekend, of which I will describe in painstaking detail later. :)

Happily, I was not struck by a car on the way downhill. Yay, me!! I have a blinky blinky light on the back, but if I am going to ride in the dark, I need more reflective stuff. I thought of this as I wore my black coat and my black backpack. Unfortunately, due to lack of planning on my part and utter procrastination getting out of bed, I only had time to ride to my closest P&R, which is only a 15-minute, 3-mile ride away since I used the arterial short-cut. But it's a good ride, and the afternoon ride will be better, since it's a bit farther and includes my monster hill segments that make me feel like a bad-ass bicycle queen.

A couple thoughts about bike commuting as I reflect on my first experience:
- That's a lot of prep work.
- If you ride hard first thing in the morning, even if it's a short ride, you still get sweaty and your nose runs. I will have to do a cost-benefit analysis on whether or not it's worth it. Fun-wise: super, totally worth it! That may be good enough.
- I really need to do some wardrobe thinking if I'm going to continue cycling a lot. And I'm going to continue cycling a lot.
- I completely cracked the guy on the bus up when I got on, got settled in with my big bag, my helmet, etc. etc. and then pulled my travel mug of hot tea out of the side pocket of my backpack and started sipping. He admired my preparation for the day. He did not know what a chicken-with-my-head-cut-off scenario it had been at home getting out the door. :)

Whew - that was many, many paragraphs to describe a three-mile ride, but isn't it nice to imagine you were along with me? I would love to have some riding buddies!!

Speaking of which - yesterday I went for a very, very, very super-cool awesome ride with a cycling buddy!! Oh, how I had looked forward to this ride. It was so fun, the best day EVER!! Actually, I think I'll break here and give it its own post, it was too cool to dump at the end of this OTHER SUPER COOL BIKING MILESTONE: My First (Partial) Bike Commute. :)

Off Day

I would be tempted to call today an "off day," but it's early and I hate to write the whole thing off. And really, it's just my own lack of planning and preparation that threw everything off.

Last night, I decided I was going to ride my bike to work. Well, I quickly talked myself out of riding all the way to work, because a) I don't know the way via the bike path; b) I am still a ninny about riding in traffic; c) I work at the top of some pretty freaking steep hills.

But, I wanted to ride as far as the Mercer Island Park & Ride. I am struggling to get mid-week rides/workouts in, and it is making me twitchy. I've decided the smartest thing to do is start working out in the morning, but that will require a big mindshift for me, as my warm bed is one of my favorite places in teh world to be. The Mercer Island P&R is only 5 miles or so from my house, it's a nice ride, and it's good practice for me to start thinking about biking to work. Bike to the P&R, lock up the bike, hop my bus and go to work.

However. There is so much more to biking to work than you would think. I don't have a backpack. I had one, but Alli took it over for school. What can I wear to bike that I can wear at work all day? (I can pretty much wear what I want to work, so this isn't a big concern.) I resolved the backpack issue: I'd just take my wallet and leave my purse at home. Figured out what I'd wear. Rolled out of bed this morning and hit the shower, got ready to go. Oops, I better have something to eat and drink, I am learning that I need a little something in my belly or that light-headedness kicks in.

Couldn't find any earbuds. I know I probably shouldn't wear them while biking, but I do. Just in one ear. Plus, over a lot of this ride there is a ton of traffic noise - headphones help. Okay, found some. Reid has been taking the squishy rubber ends off all the earbuds in the house, but I got lucky and found some replacements.

Get the bike ready to go, and fortunately I remembered to grab the bike lock. I should probably have one of those fancy u-bolt locks, but mine is a big long cable. Boy, it wraps around the seat 1000 times, I hope it doesn't bug me while I ride. Okay, bike is ready to go...just need to turn on the lamps.

ARGH!!! The lamps are on my old bike, which is now Alli's bike! Grrr. Okay, I'll swap out the lamps really quickly.

I cannot figure out how to get the headlamp mount off Alli's bike. It's too dark to ride without the lights. I try, and I try, but I can't figure it out. Plus, it's too dark to really see what I'm doing. My garage has suck lighting. I half-heartedly think of riding Alli's bike but decide not to. What a bummer.

I did switch the back light over, but it took me forever to figure that out, too, and there was a lot of little-tiny-washer dropping. This had me thinking "off day," but really, I decided it's "You need reading glasses and you should just start owning that reality."

So...no biking in, but I'll leave here early enough today that if I move with great purpose, I'll have time to grab my bike and repeat my I-90 bridge lookout ride from the other day. Now that I have the Strava cycling app, I am a woman obsessed. I am just about the slowest person on there, but Strava tracks your time along certain segments of road compared to other cyclists. *Lots* of other cyclists. Plus, it tracks your time against your own previous rides, and you get PR "Achievements" when you beat them! Ohhhhhhh,  I am all about the gold stars. I need to get out and ride, ride, ride.

This evening, though, I have my youngest's curriculum night at school. For the record, all school activities take place on my "kid-free" nights. So in September and October, especially, it feels like my free evenings are completely booked with school events. I can get whiny about this at times.

Anyway, this afternoon I'll bolt home, grab my bike, do my ride and still hopefully make it on time to Reid's school event. Today, I am dressed badly, I'm disgruntled that I didn't get to ride, I got to SBUX and the girl twice overcharged me for my drink and then they didn't put soy milk in it, as usual. For this SBUX location, that sort of thing is crazy unusual! Really, it's like going to your mom's house, if your mom is someone who spoils you to death. They know what you want, they know your name, they know just how you like everything. I guess they're preparing me for our break-up later this month. I miss them already. There will be tears, but once the free-refill program changes, I just can't justify spending the kind of cash on tea that will be required if I kept up my normal drinking habits. Sob.

It's a good hair day, though. :)

The cycling plan for the rest of this week and this weekend is an exciting one!

- Today: hurry home, repeat I-90 lookout ride. Strava cycling app says it's 18.8 miles round-trip, that sounds about right. Should take me about 1:40.
- Tomorrow: maybe possibly try to ride to Mercer Island P&R again in the morning.
- Saturday: up early, I am riding around the south end of Lake Washington for the first time, that's about 25 miles. This is a big move for me, because I'm starting to branch out into longer rides that aren't exclusively on bike paths. This route is a very popular route. I am soooooo lucky to live where I do, the Seattle area in general and my neighborhood specifically is a very, very big bicycling town. That makes it so easy to get started!
- Sunday: up early again, I am meeting two people (Justin and Michelle) that I met on my first group ride a couple weeks ago. I am finally going on my Iron Horse Trail ride! I asked these two if they wanted to join me, and they were all for it. YAY FOR NEW BICYCLING FRIENDS!! This is the one that is about 22 miles  and includes a 2 mile trip through an old railroad tunnel through the mountain pass. I am so excited! Here's a little description from someone's web page:

The Iron Horse Trail (a.k.a. the John Wayne Pioneer Trail) is an old railroad line converted to a trail. The ride features a 2.5 mile long tunnel and several high trestle bridges. The long tunnel and the bridges help make the ride especially fun. Near Olallie State Park you may see some rock climbers climbing on the cliffs above the trail. The tunnel is very dark. It has a type of darkness that swallows photons. There is no ambient moonlight or starlight in the tunnel so it is darker than what you would experience on a normal night ride. A standard handheld flashlight will not put out enough light to ride. A powerful special purpose cycling light is highly recommended. I use a 15 watt NiteRider light mounted on my helmet and it seems barely adequate. If you try riding the tunnel with an inadequate light you will likely end up walking most of the tunnel instead of riding it. The tunnel is one of the best parts of the ride so bring a good light so you can enjoy it.

Here's the best video I can find on youtube. Do like I did and just fast forward through bunches of it (seriously, why did he film the whole process of taking off his sunglasses inside a dark tunnel???). The best parts are after the tunnel - but you can get an idea of how *dark* that thing will be . The scenery of the trail is awesome -  I am sooooooooo looking forward to this ride!!

Brain Dump

Good morning! I have 10,001 things to say this morning but none of them are especially revolutionary, so I think I'll just make a list:

• Monday. Ugh! I notice that on Monday mornings, I really gravitate to this long-sleeve hooded brown shirt Kim gave me last year. I remember the day she gave it to me, we agreed it was a little too tight to wear. It is not anymore. :) But it is warm and comfy and feels like wearing a hug.
• I have a HUGE break-up looming on the horizon. I'm dumping SBUX. I think the break-up date is 10/16 or 10/17. It's not them, it's me. I freely take advantage of the fact that I can buy one cup of tea in the morning for $2.24 and drink free tea and passion-tea lemonades all day long for free under the current free refill program + the generosity of the very best SBUX location ever. However, SBUX is changing this plan on 10/16 or 10/17 and the gravy train is ending. They sent me a "Dear John" letter last month warning it was coming. I drink so much Earl Grey tea, I just cannot even humor the idea of paying $6-8 a day for tea that I can just as easily make in my break room at work. Seriously - it's the same tea and soy milk I buy at the grocery store. I will miss them bitterly, but I admit I have been using them. Especially since they know on some Friday afternoons to make me a passion tea lemonade that I can take home and mix with vodka. It's "Julie's special drink," haha.
• My son Reid's allergy testing came back 100% allergy free for gluten, dairy and a host of foods. I am over the moon with happiness! Based on food sensitivity testing his dad had done on Reid last year, the daycare and school were adhering to a gluten/dairy free diet for Reid. I would not have issue with this except that Reid is a sneaky little character who was sneaking and trading food, etc. He doesn't like the GF/CF lunches we pack for him, so he goes hungry at school. Last year, they started making him eat lunch in the principal's office so he wouldn't mooch off other kids' lunches. It was creating so many more social issues for a kid who already has a lot of troubles at school, and I looked at the GF/CF diet as four more opportunities a day for him to get into trouble (snacks and lunch).
• Oops, I spoke too soon on the food allergy issue, because his dad is *livid* that I shared the results with the school. He called and threatened to sue me for custody, but I think I talked him off the ledge with that one. (My older two have been saying for a year that they do not want to go to their dad's, I pointed out to my X that we do not want to start dividing our children like eggs, and that they actually benefit from time with both of us.) Sigh. He's just angry - he wants an "answer" to our youngest's behavior problems. We'll sort through it. He hangs everything on the food issues, I say it is untreated ADHD compounded with a hectic transferring schedule and inconsistency between our houses. I would rather work on that, he would rather focus on the diet. We're a little stuck, but we'll muddle through it, we both love our boy. It is still very stressful.
• My 13yo, Alli, and I did the Issaquah 5K run yesterday with Jen from Runner Maybe. This was our third 5K together, but Alli was really struggling with cramping and girl-troubles and we pretty much walked the whole thing. Bummer. Jen is a better coach (and mother, haha!) than I am, because I am about to ditch my baby and start running these things by myself. Oh...not really. But I do long for the day when Alli and I can be at the same place fitness-wise, because I would *LOVE* to take her out on these long bike rides and such.



5K girls

• I got a new-to-me bike this weekend from craigslist! You can see it in the background on this picture from my Saturday morning ride. It is a very nice bike, but mostly the price was right and now it leaves all my peeps with our own bikes, so we can ride together. Lance Armstrong was really opposed to this bike purchase, saying I shouldn't get a mountain bike, I should get a road bike. Even the guy who sold me the bike said I should get a road bike, actually (I will not be mountain biking). My main man here (still, I can't remember what I call him on the blog - not my sugar daddy but my other fella) found this bike for me and says it will serve me well. At least it will work for me until I get more experienced with cycling and figure out what kind of bike *I* think I need.



Sweaty girl and my new bike.

• I was riding along on Saturday morning and I took what I thought was a very FUNNY picture. There was a banana peel in the middle of the bike lane. Who knows what tragedy would have befallen me if my bike had slipped on it? My facebook friends weren't as amused as I was, jeez. Well, I sent that picture to Lance Armstrong, forgetting that other people know lots of things I know nothing about, and his response was "Oh, you bought that bike" (subliminal: after I told you not to) You cannot seriously tell I bought that bike from this picture, I said. "of course I can." Wow. My MTB friend calls him "Lance Wristband," which I believe is meant to be a cut below what he had been calling him, "Lance Armband." Well, Lance Armstrong could help me find a bike, but seriously, I needed one now and he's all talk, anyway. I'm happy to look at it if he finds one.



Whew, that was close!!

• I need to start tracking my food. I'm not doing something right with all this exercise and eating. My weight is stable at 140, but I have been lightheaded. Coming up from the bus tunnel this morning I was feeling a little spacey again. I feel like I eat plenty, and I'm not losing weight (can't get it back below 140, actually - I was hovering at 138). I do believe that at this point it might be fair to say I'm gaining muscle weight, just because I can really see some muscle definition popping out, especially in my legs. I'm really just hungry for protein, and I think I'm eating plenty of it. Kim was right that I am struggling and stuck at the crossroads of former fat girl, girl trying to lose weight and now, athlete needing to feed the machine. I can't really walk around light-headed, I need to put a bit more thought into my eating.
• I saw the grandfathered in guy for a bit this weekend...he's cool. I've genuinely hit a point where I am more interested in my athletic pursuits than my romantic pursuits, haha. Whodda thunk? But he is cool and I will see him again. I think I've actually come full circle and all the men are starting to be the same guy, and this one is sort of a composite of all of them, haha. He's retired Navy, too, and I already told you he's an Oregon transplant who is now an electrician for the county and lives in Federal Way (those are all Greg-things). No kids, bought a very nice new construction home shortly after moving here. Motorcycle rider with lots of toys. I understand from my work-fella that this guy's motorcycle is a lot nicer and more spendy than Greg's motorcycle. So he said to have this guy take me on a ride by Greg's house to make him jealous...of the bike, not of me on the bike with him, haha. We had fun together but I have no investment in any of them at this point. :) I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike...
• I still struggle to let my brain catch up with my smaller body. Just last week I was telling a tiny coworker that I feel like a buffalo standing next to her. I do. And the guy, above, (oh heck, what shall we call him??) said something about how I am no bigger than a flea. Maybe not the most romantic, haha, but I get the sentiment. I am hopeful that with the upcoming plastic surgery, my brain catches up. It would be nice to just appreciate me for being me and where I'm at.
• Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments on my Crazy Lady Nekky Pictures post. You all had very thought-provoking things to say, and I am digesting. That "fund my project" concept is wild, too! I will look into it and I am thinking about everything you all said. xo 

Mustache Dache!

My 13yo daughter and I have been doing a bunch of 5Ks this summer and fall, as you know. While her favorite undoubtedly, so far, anyway, was the Iron Girl 5K at Green Lake, the one I'm really looking forward to is the Mustache Dache on November 17th. Why do I love it so? (Especially after I *just* told you in the previous entry that Men with Mustaches = Invisible to Me. Since I dislike them so, I must have a soft spot for a little occasional mustache tomfoolery. :)

Plus, their website is very cute. It makes me smile every time I see it. 

Someone very witty created their website.

Here's a couple items from their FAQ, which really amuses me. REALLY amuses me:

Q: Do I have to have a mustache to do the race?

A: The Mustache Police will be out in full force on Mustache Dache Day and you’ll be thrown into jail if you’re spotted sans ‘stache…yeah right!  While we encourage all men, women, and children to sport one, it’s not a requirement.

Q: What should kids and women do?  Should we wear a fake mustache?

A: Do fish live in the ocean?  Yes!  Most definitely.  Face painters and purveyors of fake mustaches will be on hand to adorn your upper lip to ensure mustache solidarity.  (Face painting is free, fake mustaches available for a small charge).

Q: What should I wear?

A:  A costume, of course!  We’ll be having a high-powered costume contest administered by strict former East German Olympic judges, so be sure to show up in a very fine get-up.  If a costume is not your slice of pie, we recommend warm clothing that you can comfortably run in and hang out at the post-race party in.  Layers are advised!

Q: Are there prizes?

A:  Yes.  Copious ones.  Remember the Cornucopia from Hunger Games?  There you go.

So, Alli and I are very excited about this event, which is for Movember and men's health and prostate cancer awareness (and because, I think, men want an excuse to grow mustaches, and their women can't give them a hard time if it's for a good cause). Costumes are encouraged, and you know everyone will be sporting a fake 'stache, or a real one if they can grow it.

The course is at Seattle's Magnuson Park, which will be a fun place to hold a 5K:

Check out the website and come join us! Mustachedache.com Really, even if you aren't in the Seattle area, I think the website is just fun to read, regardless.

And I cannot help but show you this picture of my friend and his son from last Movember. Okay, sometimes I love mustaches, and this is one of my all-time favorite pictures. :)

Crazy Lady Nekky Pictures

(I had to revise my post title because "Friday Updates" was just boring.)

I think I have a lot of things going on in the background that I've been too busy/too *something* to blog about. So I'll try to catch you up a bit.

SURGERY
Most excitingly, I am having my tummy tuck surgery on 11/12. In just over a month!! Several things happened to make me pull the trigger on this one:

- I have lost hope that insurance will chip in for the surgery. I talked at length with my new plastic surgeon, who said he is only aware of one case being paid partially by aetna, and it was a bad case. While I consider my case bad, in the loose skin scheme of things, it is not horrible, I suppose. They talk about people's hanging pannis (sp?) down their thighs. Mine doesn't. But it still sucks.

Oh, you might as well see me in my underwear, why not?

That's all extra skin, babe. And I want it gone. Post haste. Cute bra and panties, though, yes? :) That vertical scar on my tummy is from a spinal fusion I had in 2004. Now THAT was a grueling surgery! In through my tummy and my back - I used a walker for I don't know how long afterward. Probably a month. It sucked.

Now, before you go thinking that belly is not that bad, I'm not even showing you the hanging forward pictures, which would make your eyes bleed. :) We'll just leave it at that.

- I got approved for financing with carecredit.com. It will cost me an arm and a leg, I'm sure. I have decided I am willing to pay an arm and a leg.

- I will take two weeks off for the surgery, and a friend pointed out that if I combine my Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving holidays, I'll only use six days of leave for two weeks off. I called the surgeon's office and he's available to do it, so WAH-LAH!!

Needless to say, I am very excited. And nervous. Mostly excited. But nervous. More nervous about the finances than anything. This will require some serious belt-tightening. Which I will be able to do, because I will have no loose skin around my middle. (Hahahaha, I slay me.)

CYCLING
Oh my goodness, is this all I think about?? YES!! I have a generally pretty addictive nature anyway. Oh, who am I fooling - I have a *very* addictive nature. I am pleased that when I was a rabble-rousing carousing sort back in my late teens, I had the wisdom to not try any drugs beyond pot, which makes me sleepy, hungry and grouchy (and thus, I do not smoke pot, haha). But something told me that if I had the opportunity to run around feeling like I was running at hyper-speed, or hallucinating pretty mind-pictures, well, I just wouldn't stop.

So now I am only thinking about cycling. Bike, bike, bike, I want to go ride my bike. I am *this close* to commuting into work, even though it would be a real, giant, tremendous pain in the butt and logistically with children, daycare pick-up times, etc. it is just almost completely unfeasible. But my inner cyclist is hyperventilating because soon it is going to be dark ALL THE TIME here in Seattle and how will I ride, how will I ride? I have been playing "beat the sunset" every day I have the chance, but that is making for a much shorter ride than I want.

I have not yet gotten the craigslist bike, which I might as well link here for you because I don't think you're going to go buy it. The seller has been really wonderful, though, and while I didn't hear from him last night, thus sending me into panic attacks - he did text late about being locked out of his car, etc. I am confident the deal will go down this evening.

I want it. I want to have an operable bicycle for every member of my family, and then I want to toughen up my children's butts and legs so that we can just go ride, ride, ride without care or concern for hills. Oh, so many hills around here. Now, as for me, well, I don't *fly* up those hills, but I don't give them a second thought, either. (Well, I give them a second thought, but I tough them out, haha.) My children, however, will struggle with these.

Linda, you asked about my sore butt earlier. HECK YEAH IT HURT! But it got better quickly. :) I think your sit-bones just need to get used to it. My bike now is a "comfort cruiser" and it is the most comfortable of butt-sparing seats, I'll bet. But even the too-big bike I ride with the kids doesn't bother me that much. I should note here that I am really having trouble with comments on the site, so I am still reading but playing catch-up. I was getting TONS of "anonymous" comments, which blogger is catching and sending to spam, but my email account was being INUNDATED with emails, so I hit "block" or "spam" or something, and now I am receiving very, very spotty notification of comments on the blog. So I am still reading, but since I don't get the emails very often, I also do not really have an opportunity to respond directly. I plan to sort out this problem somehow. :)

MEN/CERTIFIABLY INSANE BLOGGER
I don't know if it's better to talk about my insanity, which I feel in most cases is self-evident, or men. We'll start with men, which will naturally segue into my insanity. I feel I owe this to my regular readers.

I did take down my online profile last weekend. How exhausting. Online dating is an exercise in pounding your own head against a concrete wall. Every once in awhile, someone slips a pillow in between your head and the wall, so it feels good for a second, so you keep doing it in hopes that it feels good again. :) Or I could just be a teensy bit jaded right now, haha.

Did I ever tell you that Greg and I humored one evening of possibly reconciling? I doubt that I did, because I was embarrassed, which quickly turned to anger, and then, just as quickly as anything, my lingering feelings and longing for Greg evaporated into nothing. Seriously, just gone. I'll recap quickly, because I think you need to see how Greg fueled some serious insanity fires inside my poor battered psyche. NOW I see that. Before, I could not.

So, Greg asked me out, this was several weeks ago now. He missed me, he was terribly sorry, he said all the right things to gain access to my company for an evening. What he said to get me out really doesn't matter, because as you will see, it's what he said later that mattered. We actually had a wonderful evening. I liked being in Greg's space. (Jeez, DID I blog about this? Forgive me if I am repeating.) We went on a motorcycle ride, which is a key to my heart - although, I gotta say, now that I am bike riding, I do believe that motorcycles may not pack the same thrill. I have yet to test this theory, though. We went to dinner, and we had drinks on my patio on a beautiful late summer evening. And here are some of the things he said over the course of the night:

- Hey, did you wash your car recently, it doesn't look that dirty.
- What condition is your house going to be in when we go in there?
- (Turned a scrutinizing eye on the hanging flower basket he bought me for Mother's Day, which had a lot of brown stuff. Cast me a knowing look.)
- You've got cigarette butts in your fire pit (duh, those are yours, a'hole)
- I see you stopped taking care of the tomato plants.

Okay, those are just annoying. But when we sat on the patio, admittedly having a couple drinks, he really let fly. WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES, that man looked me in the eyes and told me that he loves me but he could not get past how obese I used to be. That if he had met me then, he wouldn't have given me a second look and that is so upsetting for him. I pointed out that before he lost 60 pounds and had a mustache, I also would not have given him a second look. (SRSLY, it would take quite a man for me to look at twice with a mustache, I am not a facial hair fan, although I loves me some gristly stubble. Which he then shaves off.) He told me that by not FOREWARNING him about my loose skin, he was just so surprised and he could not get it out of his head. And that he was so sorry, because he didn't WANT to be bothered by it, but he just doesn't like it. Umm, I always forgot to ask him AND WHAT THE FREAK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT - he knew I was having plastic surgery at the first possible opportunity, for crying out loud.

Somehow, this revelation still turned into a positive (??) ending for the evening, although at dinner he did comment that it also bothered him how little I eat.

I feel like I should say here that I am not a stupid woman. :) When I read this, and read how much bullisht I put up with from Greg, how much I let him utterly DESTROY my self-confidence over a not-even six month period...well, I don't feel like I'm reading the words of a smart woman. I liken my time with Greg to being wrapped in a warm, protective hug with so many positives and  it feels soooo good that you do not even realize that you are being slowly sliced to death with razor blades, and before you know it you have bled to death, even while you are clinging onto how good it feels. Except for the bleeding to death part.

But it worked, see, because Greg's many subtle criticisms of me were the very things I criticize about myself, all day, every day. My house and car *are* a mess. I did kill the tomatoes (partly out of hatred, haha) and I am a slob. And with every waking moment, I hate that loose skin and the havoc that morbid obesity wreaked on my body. I'm an easy target if you want to criticize me because I'll just jump right in and agree with you.

It was on a Wednesday night that I went out with Greg. And on Thursday, I was profoundly, profoundly sad, when I should have been happy. We were going to see each other again, right? And so I spent the day reflecting on how really, really full of despair I felt. And I thought about the last time I had felt that way, and I knew it was when I was with Greg.

Friday I took the day off and I went for my at the time longest bike ride to date. It was sunny. I was utterly blissed out. And I text broke up with him. For good, this time. I told him, and now I'm paraphrasing, "When we were together, I felt lucky to be with you. I was proud of you and proud you were my man. I don't think you feel that way when you're with me, and you should. All you see are all my flaws - I need someone who makes me feel on top of the world, and you make me feel like I'm being run over by it. I hope you find the perfection you seek, but we both know you won't. Good luck, Greg."

Now, Sabrina and my main man (what do I call him on the blog?? Argh, I cannot remember) say that I am just enough of a control freak that I could not handle it that Greg broke up with me, so I had to get him back in order to break up with him. Eh, there may be some truth to that. Regardless, the texts were sent, he wrote back that I am a wonderful person and he wishes the best for me. And like steam escaping a pot, he was gone. The pain, the wistfulness, the longing...pretty much disappeared on that long, sunny day bike ride.

The insanity, however, did not. See, I hate my belly soooooo much, and Greg hated my belly so much, that he painted a very clear picture for me that men hate my belly. Eh, I'm sure men don't love it. My recounting of my experience with Lance Armstrong was painted more by my own self-loathing and insecurities than actual facts, I should say. I expected Lance Armstrong to hate my flabby skin, and so therefore I made him, at least in my mind.

Really, we went out that second time and again, we had a blast. A very nice man. Over the course of knowing him, I had not-so-artfully worked into our conversations twice that I had wrecked my body and needed plastic surgery and had a tummy tuck planned. Once was by text (SRSLY I think all dating is done by text now, how lame) and once as I was running defense to keep his hands off my body. Neither time was he outwardly fazed by my Horror. But what had been a full-court press to talk to me and spend time with me turned to a brief text the next day and a largely-grumpy call that afternoon. He is a commercial painter who had done a big side job that day that had not gone well. Regardless, my intuition told me we would not be riding on Sunday, as planned. When we were on the phone, I gave him a pass on it but he said it was going to happen. I told my girlfriend at dinner that night (Saturday) that no way it was going to happen. So when he texted Sunday something along the lines of "hey, I forgot about my daughter's cheer thing that I want to go to so I can't ride, sorry," I didn't respond. It was as expected, and by then my insanity, my Greg-voice screaming in my head, was like a runaway train. It was the Horror, he had touched it and hated it as all men and everyone in the right mind does, most especially me.

Wednesday was his 40th birthday and he texted me first thing in the morning. Asked me if I was going to break my silent treatment long enough to wish him a happy birthday. I said of course I wished him a happy birthday, but I hadn't expected to hear from him again. I told him we should talk again in a few months when I've had my plastic surgery and was further along in my own fitness journey. He said that wasn't it at all, that he was tired and in a bad mood and hated turning forty. And would I go out with him this weekend?

Anyway. I think in many ways, Greg came along for me at the worst possible time. And maybe the best possible time. I had lessons I needed to learn, and Greg pounded them in like a stake through my heart. I did go out with Lance Armstrong last night, and he's not boyfriend material but he will be fun to spend time with now. It's like a switch flipped in my head when I had the Lance-Armstrong-hates-my-body-too psychotic break. I am man-weary. I don't want anyone beating the proverbial isht out of me while I am making all this wonderful progress on myself and having such fun.

I'm not quite to the point of turning down time with men with bodies carved out of marble, but I wonder if my mind and heart have finally sync'ed up to the point they need to be. I don't *need* this, I will enjoy myself and my life and we'll just see how it plays out. There was a desperation or an urgency that I am just not feeling anymore, starting with my razor-blade revelation about Greg and ending with my wild leap to assume that Lance Armstrong hated my body as much as me.

Oh - there is another man. I had been talking to him online, very, very, very slowly for weeks. This guy is in no freaking hurry. We had texted and talked a couple times, and he called me again after my profile was gone, so he was grandfathered in. This one is pretty hilarious, because he is a recent Oregon transplant who is an electrician for the county, who lives in Federal Way. (Greg was a recent Oregon transplant who is an electrician for the county and lives in Federal Way. Both moved here for the jobs.) Like Greg, he is a big motorcyclist. He was married for many years but has no kids. I met him one day early this week for coffee and he is taking me for a motorcycle ride on Sunday. I might be going simply because I find the parallels hysterical. Ladies, if you are single in the Seattle area, move to Federal Way, or at least grocery shop there. I would, but I lived in Federal Way for years and hate it with a purple passion. Although I might start grocery shopping there. :) Of the men I've dated, no less than four have lived in Federal Way, including Retired Navy. All these men have had great jobs and some serious coinage. And toys.

Right now, it's all about me and my bicycle. I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike...

Here's what crazy looks like all dressed up. 

Have a beautiful day, ladies. It's Friday and all is well in the world. Alli and I have our Issaquah 5K with Jen at Runner Maybe on Sunday, and at some point, there will be bike rides. :)

Cycle-Mania

Queen said it for me:

I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

That's all. That's all I want to do. Everything else is REALLY CRAMPING MY STYLE.

I've become a bit obsessed, I'm afraid. Really, it's all I want to do anymore. It's too bad it's fall and the weather will be changing, but I'm already figuring out how I can ride in the rain. I'll need a bit more gear. :)

Hey - I got a new hair cut this afternoon, I like it a lot:

Hmm, from this angle it doesn't look a whole lot different than the last haircut, but it really is. Much shorter, especially in back:

My dear friend and self-appointed personal stylist found this picture and sent it to me with instructions to go get my hair cut this way, haha. Mine's a little different because I have wavy curls (a by-product of getting older, as my hair has always been stick straight, except for when I was a toddler, when I had lots of curls).

I am very pleased with the cut, and especially because the stylist (new to me!) adhered to my instruction that preparation must be limited to putting stuff in it and tousling it around with my hands while I blow dry. I'm not a fancy girl, but Sabrina is. You see how I have a lot to live up to with her as my stylist:

She's flashy.

Oh golly, I had profound blog thoughts earlier this week and I didn't get them written down! Now I'm completely at a loss. I am having a blast cycling. Love it. I believe I'm going to go buy a bike tonight from craigslist - my main man at work recommended this one.

Update: I'm going to go ahead and put this lame post out there, sans profound thoughts. Later, I'll post something more "meaty" and maybe include a picture of me in my self-tousled hair and corseted denim dress that Sabrina gave me yesterday. I swear I wouldn't recognize me walking down the street, haha.