Thinner

Forgive me if I have already blogged about this, but it is just one of those silly reoccurring thoughts I have had along the weight loss process. One of my favorite Stephen King books from back in the day was "Thinner." A morbidly obese man commits vehicular homicide of someone in a gypsy family. I think he got away with it, too. It's been a long time since I read it. Anyway, a gypsy puts a curse on the morbidly obese man..."Thinner." Just that, just one word. The man immediately begins to lose weight and is thrilled...except he doesn't stop losing. Thinner and thinner and thinner.

Haha! I am not in this position. But my parents have been fussing lately of "how will you stop losing weight?" I am not concerned. I'm 12 pounds (yay!) off my first goal of a "normal BMI." And when my dad's side of the family visited from the south this year, I realized that I actually come from pretty small stock. My grandma, aunt and cousin are all what I affectionately call "little bird women." Short, small-framed, could knock them over with a feather. My dad is not a big guy, either.

On my mom's side, we're Eskimo (and Swedish). Tend to be a bit bigger. My mom, sister and I struggle with our weight. As do my aunt and a couple of cousins. My sister trends average build with periods of weight gain she battles back down. Can I selfishly proclaim here that I saw my sister at Christmas, and for the first time in my whole life, I am smaller than she is?? This was a cool realization.

Anyway, I've decided to align with the bird women on my dad's side of the family, so I am not worried about "Thinner..." That goal is within my sights, and I am loving it! My revised plan is shaping up to be to get into my 120s (129.9 counts!) and pursue plastic surgery to take off the uhhh, evidence. Actually, you'll see on the sidebar to the right that those 120s have always been an optimistically stated goal. I'm not officially changing anything, though, because, as I've said, I have absolutely no frame of reference for myself at these weights. I don't even think I ever stayed in the low 150s as I am now. I think I kind of went from the low 130s around the time I got married, and shot up past everything between there and the 260+s. Eep!

Back to Thinner...when I get on the scale sometimes and have an unexpected loss, I'll think "Thinner..." Today was another such loss - the scale has really been moving down again. Yay, Thinner!

Sometimes I'll think it, too, when I am laughing at my ridiculously small meals. Last night, I *splurged* on sushi...um, I used to be able to put away a whole hell of a lot of sushi. Now, a couple little rolls and I am done, son. How interesting to think that this is how I'll eat for the rest of my life! Sometimes a bit mind boggling. Always a wonderful thought, though!

Thinner.

Oh - I took #holidayboyfriend home to meet the family yesterday. Yup, it was time. And nope, I don't mean my parents and sister! Hahaha, no, no, no. My family - my little core group of friends. Just two of them (one is off visiting relatives for the holidays and one is one vacation this week and could not be dragged from his home). We all went and watched the Husky Alamo Bowl, one of the most ridiculous football games ever played in the history of football.

So, here's where Cappy is both tremendous fun and alarmingly challenging to my present lifestyle. We meet after work (he actually joined us quite a bit later - probably almost 8p, as he was working). The game is terrible (oh, sure, everyone's offense was great fun to watch, but nobody remembered to play defense). The kitchen closed at the bar. It's third quarter, and my two friends are ready to head out. This works great for me! We all head toward the door, where Cappy says, "let's go out to West Seattle to catch the fourth quarter and get some dinner!"

Oh! Really? Bedtime, schmedtime. Ok, let's do go out to West Seattle, shall we? (We were in Pioneer Square at the time.) He wants to show me the sister bar to the one we've watched football at in Renton. He likes the West Seattle one better - what will I think? (I did like it better, too, although I loved the first one.)

We make it out there in California-transplant-driver time, catch the end of the ridiculous game and do not eat, because...he's hungry for sushi. There's a sushi place down the street. Oh, but it closed at 10p. Where is open at this time? (About 10p.) Thank you, yelp, for showing us that his favorite sushi restaurant on Capitol Hill is still open. Uh, way back from where we originally started the evening. Ok, I'm game. Truly, I think it was the best sushi I've had, and I had some cocktail that was the second best I've ever had, second only to the one I had with him a couple weeks ago at some other cool place he knew.

So, I am having a total blast, but I am also challenging my "tired mother of three" persona that I've worked so hard to cultivate! There is much quality food and drink involved with dating this person. It's really pretty awesome. He's all into architecture and ambiance and the history of different neighborhoods and such...I'm all, uh, we just generally go to Palominos or Sazerac (upscale chain bars). He does this with bookstores and buildings and museums, too. Very, very interesting. I consider myself a reasonably interesting person, but in comparison, I feel pretty...uh, shallow? Oh well - it's like Kim and I agreed, he's 40, single and no kids, he better have some damn interests. ;) My interests right now are providing food and shelter to young'uns and trying to keep up w/ this guy on my free time.

Seattle Woman Loses 110 Pounds!

Woohooo! Okay, I was searching online for things that weigh 110 pounds so I could do a list for frame of reference. Did you know that there are a TON of people out there who have written about losing 110 pounds? It's a very popular amount of weight loss to write about and to have featured in the news. Of course, all the people in the news will have lost it "on their own," but I won't go there right now. This is a happy occasion. :) There's even a Miss South Carolina beauty queen who lost 110 pounds, and there's a bazillion articles about her.

I am in good company, then. And I had to laugh when I got on the scale, too. Last night, I very uncharacteristically jumped on the scale before I got in the shower (this, after leaving on my hair color for 50 minutes while talking on the phone to Kim, so I was also concerned I was about to go bald in the shower. I did not, thankfully!). So, I get on the scale and it says 153 pounds. Bummer. Oh well, maybe tomorrow I'll drop a pound, I'll weigh again in the morning. (I haven't weighed for a few days because I've had my period, and I've decided - for my two remaining cycles before my surgery date, haha, - that this is a scale-free time of the month.)

This morning, I get on the scale again. 153 pounds. Ah, well, maybe tomorrow. As I'm putzing around the house getting ready, it dawned on me - hey, I have lost again! That's 110 pounds now!

My point being, after nearly a year of weighing and weighing and calculating and calculating, the numbers all blur together and become both the most meaningful and most meaningless values in the world. Everything...and nothing. I watch that scale like a maniac, but there is nothing in the world that can compare to how I feel with all this weight gone!

This is fun, too. Here's my weight loss graph I've been keeping at ObesityHelp.com.

#holidayboyfriend

Whew, boy, the work week rolled back around quickly! I am just doing a half day today, as the kiddos are at home and I'm trying to minimize potential damage. 

It was a fun weekend. And who doesn't gain weight over the holiday weekend? Me, that's who! What a revelation. The kids had a blast at Christmas, and really, they scored big in the presents this year. It was a very electronic Christmas at our house. And now, all the wrapping paper has been cleared and it is time to restore order to the chaos.

Let's see...what to update about? I had a crisis of single parenting yesterday, and I am trying to cut myself some slack. Single parenting is tough! It can be a lonely business. X and I work well together, and the holiday was a nice blend of family time with the kids and kid-free time for me. But there is always a moment when the kids come home where I think, "Whew, what am I going to do with these guys?" I've never been one to stay around home and relax and enjoy myself. This year, I have actively worked on changing that attitude. It used to be that with the kids, I was always on the run, going from activity to activity. A couple things changed: my budget tightened up dramatically, and my six-year-old can really be tough to manage in busy/crowded situations. He is getting a lot better, he is always maturing, and I like to think I am, too. I am not one of those gold-plated, endless patience parents. I have always said that he came into my life because he has many, many lessons to teach me. I can be a terribly slow learner. :)

Anyway, yesterday I had a red-flag revelation that there is a large part of me that feels like my family is not complete without a man in it. And really, men bring a lot to the table; or they can, anyway. As a single parent, I have tried to do everything with the kids that I would if I were married. I take them camping, on road trips and adventures, etc. I don't want to be someone that needs a man to make me feel complete; to make my family feel complete.

However, I guess it is what it is. You don't go into parenting as a married person and plan on raising your kids alone. Me, who grew up saying I wouldn't have kids, and who held off on having kids until I was almost thirty, certainly didn't have three of them with any expectation that I would be a divorced single parent. (Here, for a reality check, I feel obligated to throw out there that I am not raising these children single-handedly. They have a wonderful father who spends a great deal of time with them and is a good, consistent parent. Plus we have a lot of support on both sides of our family.)*

*And then when I say something like that, I feel like, "hey man, it's my blog (and my pity party), I don't have to throw anyone props right now. Single parenting is still hard.

So, that was my single parenting crisis. I wished for a nice man to spend my free time with, and now I've stumbled onto it (oh, that's not perfect either, more in a bit). And, typical for me, it's not enough - it's always "what's next, what's next." I don't seem to have a "relax and enjoy" setting, but I'm working on finding it.

The Capricorn - he is fun. Gosh, we've spent pretty much every minute of my kid-free time together for awhile now. However, I am still ROLLING with laughter over mine and Kim's silly text conversation as we marveled about the confusion and mystery of Twitter...I said I never understand the little hash mark comments that people write. But of Cappy, I said, #funbutnottheone and Kim said #holidayboyfriend. (Oh, sorry, Kim, was that a confidential conversation?? Oh, man, I have been dying laughing over "#holidayboyfriend" for days now.)

Really, I think we are both just enjoying some company over the holidays. I don't get the feeling from him that he is particularly into me. And I have my own reservations about him, too. None that affect just happily spending some time together - as I said, I am working on cultivating my "relax and enjoy" mode. I am a notorious overthinker, and not prone to just being satisfied with where I'm at. Patience, grasshopper.

Under the Knife

Oh, bummer! My little gallbladder has to come out, after all. :( My surgeon called last night when I was on the bus home. I decided to answer it because I was expecting a quick "Everything looks great!" and I would say, "Wonderful! Merry Christmas! See you next year!"

Unfortunately, the call didn't go like that. Yes, my little gallbladder earned a gold star for the first part of that hida scan, but bombed out on the second part. Off with its head!

My respective surgeons, gallbladder and GYN-stuff, are going to coordinate surgery dates so I only have to go under the knife once. I'm tentatively scheduled for 1/26, but now that we know the gallbladder has to come out, I'm going to see if we can do it earlier in the month. That way, I don't have to have the date looming ahead of me, wondering if the g/b will turn wicked painful before the end of January, requiring immediate surgery and thus blowing my coordinated surgery efforts. Because if I had g/b surgery alone, I wouldn't be in any hurry to have another elective surgery, and I really want to get it all done.

Anyway. Enough "oh look, it's January, it must be time for Julie to have another surgery" talk. I wonder if I'll have the surgery on the anniversary of my sleeve surgery? ;)

Let's talk about boys. They are so much more interesting than gallbladders. I had dinner last night with the Capricorn, and it was very fun. We met at the same little pub we met at the first time, and had the same waitress, who remembered us, and by now we're all good buddies. It was a very nice evening, and I was glad, because he seems awfully stressed with work and life issues, but last night it was just pure relaxing and fun. And that's how mama wants to spend her free time. :)

Psycho

-somatic, that is. I've decided that I'm a hypochondriac, and my gallbladder troubles are really just a pulled muscle or some odd injury. And that is the diagnosis I'm sticking with, until I hear back from the surgeon hopefully later today. Before I went in for my hida scan yesterday, I even told the tech that I've diagnosed myself with a pulled muscle, and I am really just here to be polite and get his confirmation. We agreed to roll with my self-diagnosis, not because I am a doctor, but because I have watched them on TV. That tech was fun. He made the 90+ minutes of sheer BOREDOM pass a little faster.

Okay. So the first part of the hida scan, they inject radioactive nastiness into a vein in your arm. Your body senses this as something that must be dealt with by producing bile. So, while you lay on the table with a giant camera over your belly, you get to watch your innards light up on a nearby monitor. First was my liver, lit up like Christmas. Beautiful liver, he said.

Then the radioactive goodness moves to your gallbladder. Very interesting to track the movement, for about, oh, three minutes. Then you remember how bored you are. Anyway, my gallbladder just lit up perfectly and looked extremely healthy and capable. We were well on our way to confirming my pulled-muscle diagnosis.

The second part of the test, they give you another drug to simulate having just eaten a big meal. This contracts your gallbladder, whose job it is to now push all that radioactive glow into your small intestine.

Hmm.

While on the first part of the test, I got the equivalent of a giant gold star on my medical chart, for this part, I got some tsk-tsk'ing and concerned clucking. "Well," he said, "it would be nice if your gallbladder were moving this stuff out as quickly as it moved it in."

Still - it moved it and I am writing this up in the "win" column. He said they have ranges of time established where there's normal, slow and completely stalled out. They will take measurements, do calculations, and announce a verdict to my doctor hopefully later today. I still say it's a pulled muscle.

Yesterday was a complete CF (fill in with three-syllable bad word), anyway. My appointment was for 9 am, but when I checked in at the hospital, it turns out they had scheduled me for TODAY at 9 am. I think someone had their dates mixed up, because based on my scheduling conversation, we had been clearly talking about yesterday at 9 am. Anyway. I had fasted overnight, then couldn't get in. They shuffled things around to see me at 1 pm, but I still had to fast. I made the decision to not understand their fasting instructions and allowed myself to get a cup of tea, because I was sooooo mad. I ended up sitting at the hospital all day, just waiting. I called the hematologist to see if I could drop by for my overdue blood draw -- nope. No appointments available for the five minute blood draw. Whatever. They did agree to fax over a lab work order to the hospital, so thankfully I was able to have it done there while I waited. They prefer that I use their lab. I prefer that I not take any more time off for my health this nonsense.

After the 90+ minute test, I jetted over to the GYN for a surgical consult on the ablation/ligation. Ugh, I thought it was just a consult, but since this doctor was new to me, he wanted to do a full-on physical assault. Right down to the PAP and breast exam. By the end of the day, I was weary, weary. I'm scheduled for 1/26 for both procedures, an outpatient thing - presuming I don't need my gallbladder out. If so, we'll go back to the drawing board.

I had a date planned last night with the Capricorn - just meeting for drinks. But man, I was worn out, and he was working until 8p, which was just too stinking late for me. I had expected at least one or two of my kids home last night (they are on winter break) but they decided to stay with their dad. Happily, I got to lay around in bed and go to sleep early, then drag myself out of bed late this morning.

I'm thinking of going back to the drawing board on the dating stuff. I like Capricorn, but I think some of the shininess has worn off too quickly. It's a balance, because he is a lot like me - very genuine and without pretense. I talk too candidly right away for many people's tastes. But something stressful is going on at his work and they are doing a lot of unplanned overtime. This is cool, of course. And it's sweet that he is still checking in daily with a quick email or text, but last week's emails were fun and upbeat. This week's emails are a series of "How is your day going? I'm so slammed here, blah blah blah..." Decidedly not fun. I don't know you well enough to be able to generate much empathy or interest in how stressful things are at work. And because last week's emails were so fun - this is feeling a bit bi-polar to me. Who can't muster a little bit of joy or humor?

I even asked him, basically, if he was giving me the brushoff, if now wasn't a good time for him to be dating. If he wasn't interested, I would understand. No, no, he said, that's not it, he definitely wants to see me - he just has to deal with this and it is very stressful. Plus, he is bummed because he is not going out of town for Christmas due to lack of funds, and he is disappointed.

Whatevs. I am reminded of an episode of Sex in the City, when Carrie's boyfriend Burger (Berger?) was telling Miranda that a guy just wasn't in to her. (I think they were playing off the book, which became a movie.) "If he's into you, he's booking the next date. He's coming up to your place, even if he has an early meeting." Anyway, after our first few dates - Capricorn was into me, he was booking the next date. We would have met last night if I hadn't canceled, but I'm not feeling any...urgency. And even if he were interested, the change in tenor of our messages has my interest level down to next to nothing. My own life is stressful and chaotic enough. I've got my own financial issues, and the kids take up all my energy. Mama's play time is just that: play time. Not try-to-bring-broody-new-friend-back-up time.

Oh well. :) Happily, I am discovering there are lots of men to draw from out there. Joyous new chapter!

I'm Still a Pain

Oh bummer, I am still having pain in my side. It is not terrible, but it's not long-term tolerable, either. It's enough that it's a constant little soundtrack in my brain, "ouch...ouch...ouch..."

Tomorrow morning I will have a HIDA scan (hepato biliary scan) to check the function of my gallbladder. Apparently, they shoot some radioactive stuff into your vein and track it as it moves through your gallbladder - it's a LONG test! Like two and a half hours long. Oy.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'm having a surgical consult for the tubal ligation and uterine ablation that I've been planning. This is the consult with the doctor who actually does surgeries, unlike my GYN, who no longer does surgery or OB stuff.

Here's my plan. What I am hope, hope, hoping for is that my gallbladder is just the most perfectly functioning little organ you've ever met. And the pain I'm having is some odd muscle strain. If I do have to have my gallbladder out, though, I am really, really hoping to consolidate the two surgical procedures into the same visit. Then I would have only one anesthesia, one recovery time, one chunk of missed time from work.

The GYN's office assures me this is not an impossible dream. They have coordinated other surgical procedures in the past. As far as available dates, though, it is looking like I'd have to wait until late January.

Which means I need my gallbladder to cooperate. Or not be a sickly little gallbladder at all.

Anyway, so I'll double up on the appointments tomorrow and hopefully get some answers. Let's all pray for a healthy gallbladder, shall we? :)

On the dating front...meh. I am feeling a bit inconvenienced with the whole dating thing, because I'm not feeling all that well, my daughter is staying at home during winter break (and thus I can't go out for a long evening), etc. This is the problem with single-parent dating. It's really hard to juggle a schedule, and you have to keep the kiddos first. We are supposed to go out tomorrow night, but I am already *this close* to canceling. Then you've got Christmas and such...it is feeling like rather a bother right now.

We'll see. For now, I'm just sort of playing it by ear, but sadly, my pain has been increasing all day and I am really just looking forward to going home and curling up in front of the TV. Going out on a date tomorrow, at this point, anyway, seems like an awful lot of effort that I'm not so interested in making.

Weekend Update

Well, I had an u/s on my gallbladder, and happily, they did not see any stones in there at all! Does not explain the pain, which diminished on Friday and has lessened every day since, although it is still fairly sore. I guess I will follow-up with my doctor this week! I have heard that the gallbladder can be blocked but not have stones - I know there is an additional test they can do to check its function. But I don't have any of the "classic" symptoms of gallbladder issues, either. We'll see. This is not the first time I've experienced this weirdness. The last time was months ago and when it stopped hurting, it stopped hurting for good. Hopefully that will be the case again!

It was a very nice weekend. I spent the bulk of it with my new friend, the Capricorn. :) We have been having a good time together: several different restaurants, a bookstore, a funky thrift shop, watching TV at my place. Good news - one of my all-time favorite shows, Arrested Development, is also one of his favorites! This speaks highly of his good character, haha. Last night, we were going to a place for drinks that is quite close to where my BFF lives. I suggested we invite her to join us - he was totally on board, which was nice. She was able to meet us, and after spending a couple hours with us, she gave him the green light, haha. Agrees that he seems like a really good guy, rings no alarm bells for her, would be a welcome addition to hanging out with "the family" (my little close knit group of friends). It was a good evening.

I am at 155 now - only 15 pounds off my goal weight! Super, super cool. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all this loose skin tighten up! Incidentally, I have not told the Capricorn about my surgery, but I have been on the cusp a couple times. All this eating together we've been doing, he has definitely noticed and commented on how little I eat. But the timing hasn't felt right to say anything. Laugh, but last night after having a little too much to drink, I did spout off that I was getting my tubes tied next month, hahaha. I guess I have very selective filters. :)

Please Don't Stone Me.

I think I'm having a gallstone attack today. Oh no! About 10 am, I started walking and thought, "OUCH!" Something on the right side under my ribs is knotted up and quite painful. I am so sad. I am hoping it passes and never comes back. Thus far, it has not passed, and no position is making it feel better.

Just yesterday I was telling a friend that for about the last week, I've been eating something that is upsetting my stomach. I've felt a little queasy, a little off. I've been gassy and not knowing why!

For now, I am ignoring the pain. It isn't easy. :) It's not crippling, but it's annoying as heck. I've even been laying on the floor of my cube, which did not help one little bit.

What a bummer.

Oh! A nice story. Today is my former department's holiday party. (A department that didn't can me, haha.) I ran into a retiree in the lobby and decided to make my way through a couple of floors. It was kind of a hard decision because I've been gone a long time and there are many, many people whom I don't know.

It was well worth it, though. I saw many people I don't see often, and several retirees I have missed. One in particular saw me and gasped, and gave me a giant hug. "You look absolutely divine. So radiant. You look just like you did when you started here." I swear, he almost got teary, and he said it was wonderful to see me looking so well. And it was hella fun to be told that I look like I did when I was 19, haha.

Another two retirees were chatting and I said hello. I realized they didn't have a stinkin' idea who I was. And I went to high school with one of their daughters, haha. I reintroduced myself and garnered lots more compliments.

Dating Dish

Fun date last night! We got off to a bit of a rocky start, as he called about 45 minutes before we were to meet and said he had a flat tire when he came out of his office. Was going to change it and would be about 20 minutes late. Of course I wondered if I'd actually be seeing him. :) But just 15 minutes late or so, there he was at our arranged meeting spot. He looked very handsome - he dresses a little retro/vintage, which is not my style but I admire it on others. I have figured out that the type of guys that I've dated over my life aren't doing anything for me, so maybe it's time to try a different direction! And a (straight) man with a sense of style? How intriguing! I offered to drive, since he was driving on that little mini-spare, and I am inherently suspicious of those things. With good reason.

So we went to the big mall by my house and the first order of business was shopping for our respective office Christmas parties this afternoon. Here's what I got:

While not strictly under the $15 limit, I decided since it was food, and thus no sales tax, it was close enough for government work. (Literally, since my office does government work, haha.)

Here's what R. got, and I liked his logic. It was also close-ish to their price limit, and he said he wasn't leaving C&B without a gift. We were trying to make the movie, after all. And as a wine drinker, I said that I have recently burned through not one, but two, cheap corkscrews because I didn't want to pay $15-20 for one, and instead, I am just wasting money in $5-7 increments on corkscrews I throw away. So while I didn't think the corkscrew would be a great gift for everyone, if it were at *my* office party, I'd be clamoring all over to get it. So he said if it was a great gift for me, it would be a great gift for someone else. He's cute, really. :)

Here, I need to sidebar for a moment. While at C&B, I saw a former coworker from a job that I got terminated on my very last day of a one-year promotion. Have I mentioned this much on the blog? It was years ago now. My X left me on the day before I started this giant promotion with a new agency. By the end of that month, I had taken the kids and moved to another city, and enrolled them all in daycare for the first time. I was trying to save my marriage. That poor job was just not meant to be - I tried my damnedest to succeed there, but I was being pulled in way too many directions. This woman did not play a passive role in my termination: she had wanted the position for herself, and when I got it, she did every freaking thing she could for a year to make it hard for me. She is the friend of one of my dearest friends, although the whole termination-debacle kind of blew up their friendship, as well. (Not mine with my dear friend.)

Anyway, I'm at C&B, I'm on my third date with a guy I like. This woman is there (OMG the last time I saw her was when she was attending a Mariners game with her boyfriend and I was there for a singles-event alone, maybe my first EVER such event - I was a nervous wreck, of COURSE I would see her there). 

I'll let you in on a secret. There are a handful of people (my old director from the bad job is now here, for instance, as well as another coworker) for which I completely exploit my changed appearance. My logic is, I have changed my name, lost 107 pounds, cut and colored my hair...I don't have to acknowledge you. You can look at me, trying to place me, all you want, but I'm looking through you like a piece of glass. 

Last night, I applied this trick to this woman. It was not designed to work, haha, as we have known each for years through our mutual friend. But I didn't give a rip. Can you IMAGINE being out with a guy you like, and running into a passive-aggressive beeyatch like this? She would have gone over the top about my weight loss and all that, and not cared that I was standing there with a man.

Like a piece of glass, baby. I never acknowledged her. I've got a call into my good friend, and I'll fess up, haha, and I'm sure she'll hear from the woman how I dissed her. Oh wells.

Anyway. C&B, gifts obtained. Over to McCormick's for a drink. Easy banter, holding hands, doors being held open for me, all that good stuff. Nice guy, I like him. A quick drink (oh yes, he does!) and off to the movie.

"Like Crazy." Complete and UTTER chick flick. Bahaha, I told him afterward I admired his willingness to watch it - it was a great movie, but it was a total, over the top, chick flick. Slow paced, romantic. He pointed out many astute things about the movie, and then some funny observations about how not-a-guy movie it was. Passion without nudity. No violence. Drinking without getting drunk. Infidelity with emphasis on heartache of it all. 

After movie...back to McCormick's for another drink. By now we are totally bonded with the bartender. The boys talk beer, hops, IPAs, and other beer blahdy-blah-stuff. R. is a beer connoisseur. I drink beer when I bowl, because it looks funny to drink wine. We sat there for the longest time just talking and laughing, totally great.

Because I am a lady of virtue, I take that man right back to his car and drop him off. A little kissing, talk of our plans for the following evening. (Yes, he has my schedule booked for my entire kid-free weekend, with the exception of tomorrow night, when I will go out with my friends and dish on him.) Very nice. 

In a perfect world, this is exactly where that date would have ended. A wonderful, wonderful evening. :) And another date the next night to look forward to. But life isn't perfect!

I'm almost home when I see that he has called - I'm thinking to make sure if I got home, because he really is that sweet.*

*Since I am one to be very specific about what I wish for, it's only fair to note here that one of my self-destructive ways is to wish for things and then be unhappy/unsatisfied with them when I get them. So of course I wish for a sweet guy, and here one is. In his emails, he is super sweet. Naturally, this is almost a little grating to me. Because that's how I roll. Hmm, I wonder why I'm never satisfied? Happily, in person, he is not sugary sweet, he is super nice and has a lively, cutting wit and great sense of humor. This is tremendously appealing. 

Anyway, no, this call wasn't sweet, this call was a...hmm, I want to say disaster, but no, that wasn't it. Well, remember how suspicious I am of little mini-spare tires? His mini-spare blew out as he was getting on the freeway. He has called a few friends, but has been unable to raise anyone (it is nearly 1 a.m. by now). Oh, fine, I'll swing back and pick you up - can't leave him stranded on the freeway in the middle of the night in the rain, right?

I pick him up. (Here's where the story bumps up from PG-rating to PG-13, so you can stop reading if you like!) We decide the best course of action is to go back to my place and I'll take him to the tire store first thing in the morning. His friend had called back and was getting off work in a few hours and was willing to come get him. But really, my place is five minutes away, I can take him home, get him to the tire store and drop him off back at his car with the repaired tire. For a virtuous woman, there were other options to take, but by now, I am up way past my bedtime and I am both a little irritated and a little...so-over-virtuosity. Completely overrated, and, since it is after midnight and we did actually part ways on our third date, we agree the tire debacle is actually our fourth date. According to Sex in the City rules, I am well within acceptable limits.

This morning, we are at the tire store when it opens. Happily, I get my own tires rotated, too! Something I've been meaning to do for ages. Back in August, I had to do EXACTLY what he did, replace two tires and have my front end aligned. So, I can be a little down on him for the hassle but not very much, haha, as I have done the same thing myself. He buys a couple new tires, we take one back to his disabled vehicle, which miraculously was not towed. I sit in my warm car and watch him change the tire in the rain. I told him I wouldn't help but I'd sit and make sure he wasn't crushed, haha. He finishes and heads back to the tire store to get that second tire put on, and I head in to work, only an hour late. On the way, I call Kim and give her the scoop on the whole night's events and we agree, while not perfect, it's still definitely worth seeing where this goes. 

We're meeting tonight for Christmas lights at the park and Kidd Valley burgers for dinner on the cheap, since between the two of us we have outlaid an ungodly amount of money on car repairs since we met. 

Picture Reprieve - You're Welcome!

No pictures of me today - Merry Christmas! Haha, sorry, I know I've been bombarding the blog. In my defense, when I was pre-op, before and after pictures were my life's blood...I was reading blogs, forums, wherever I could soak up pictures of people who had gotten out of my miserable situation. And so, you see, I post a bazillion pictures because I care about humanity. Take that, altruistic spirit!

I am, however, date-ready this morning. I am being picked up right at the park and ride after work, and we are going to dinner and a movie. We're planning to see "Like Crazy," which won Sundance awards and looks good. Truthfully, the movie is already a bit up in the air, since the timing is going to be tight and we have already both agreed it might be more fun to spend more time hanging out and talking and walking around the mall. We also both have side missions - office Christmas parties on Thursday for which gifts must be purchased. I don't actually think we'll be making the movie.

Which sort of wrinkled my plans for the evening's attire! I was planning to wear "the boots," you know, the sexy high heel black leather boots. This is not a problem for dinner and a movie. It becomes questionable for an evening walking around a huge, crowded mall with someone I don't know very well. He shouldn't already be subjected to me being whiny and bitchy. That's the sort of thing you have to dole out in small doses, haha.  To compromise, I did not wear the boots to work today - instead, I am in my cute new tennies with my date outfit. This will preserve some longevity for walking around in those mofos tonight.

(Hmm, I feel like I'm going to have to post a picture of me today, anyway...we'll see. I'll check with Sabrina when I see her and see if she wants to photograph me or chuck my camera at me when I ask. Such a naughty photo whore I am these days!)

I will give you a couple pictures, though. Firstly, I want to say that I have lost the equivalent of this boy. He is 106 pounds, and I have actually now lost 107. I intend to take a picture of him on my back, but I picked him up last night and he is freaking HEAVY! Holy smokes!!

My boy, Blake, who loves his mama so much and is always trying to pick me up now. :) This kid is pure gold.

And here's another picture - your dose of blood and gore for the morning! Mind you, I had a *busy* morning planned! Dress for the date, make sure I have everything, take out the stinking garbage cans to the street, get the kiddos fed and off to school, etc.

As SOON as I stepped out of the shower, I hear my daughter coming up the stairs sobbing. She stepped, barefoot, on a piece of broken glass. Stupid fluorescent light bulb fell off a shelf in the night (it was NOT there when I closed up the house last night). I removed this hunk of glass that had gone *straight up* into the sole of her foot. It was so awful. I pray that none broke off in her foot. Our house looks like Helter Skelter with the blood trails and pooling. She is very sore, but seems okay - I am calling the pediatrician this morning to confirm that her tetanus booster is up to date. Poor little baby. :(

Holy crud, that hurt both of us.