Hmm, this isn't for the faint of heart, but I did find a link to an excellent overview of a VSG surgery - and an actual surgery being performed, eep!
Gastric Sleeve Surgery video
Monday, November 29, 2010
Marry Me!
ROFLMAO, I have just re-read through a few blog entries and I realize what a catch I am! Divorced, over 40 (well, I *am* 40, but that changes soon enough), 3 young kids, morbidly obese, herpes, and, in my own words "am bloaty and gassy all the time."
Yes, marry me! I am your heart's one true desire. ;) I guess I can just cut and paste this blog over to my match.com profile, haha!
Phhhblllttt. Hey, come next summer I'll be rocking my new hot body, and will be so busy putting it through its paces! Just like a new car, you've got to get it running and see what it can do. I am greatly looking forward to it. I have a feeling life is going to take many turns for the positive in 2011.
Yes, marry me! I am your heart's one true desire. ;) I guess I can just cut and paste this blog over to my match.com profile, haha!
Phhhblllttt. Hey, come next summer I'll be rocking my new hot body, and will be so busy putting it through its paces! Just like a new car, you've got to get it running and see what it can do. I am greatly looking forward to it. I have a feeling life is going to take many turns for the positive in 2011.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
CPAP = Claustrophobia, Pester, Aggravate, Peeve
I feel ashamed of such a lame acronym, but that's all I have for you tonight. I've been attempting to bond with my CPAP for a little over a month now. I hate it.
It doesn't help that I know I have very mild sleep problems and won't need the machine for long after my surgery, or after I lose any amount of weight. That makes it even more of an annoying invasion of my nights.
When I first put it on, it seems good. Ahh, yes, I think, that seems good. A little push of air. Not disruptive, not bothersome. Mask fits well, hose doesn't get in my way. All is well.
At some point during the night, it becomes INTENSELY annoying to me. I don't think I've slept through the night once since I got the darned thing. Not on the nights I've used it, anyway. There have been several nights that I have not used it.
I have a history of this sort of thing. I'm a terrible jaw-clencher and teeth-grinder. I have a nightguard, and I can humor myself and put it in before bed. I rarely will wake up with it in, however. My subconscious self decides at some point during the night to do away with it: tucking it in the medicine cabinet, throwing it on the floor, hiding it under my pillow.
Same with the CPAP. I generally find I am getting up to go to the bathroom (something I do not normally do) and "forgetting" to put it back on. Then awaking in the morning a little surprised that I'm not wearing it.
Oh, I hate that thing. I know it's supposed to be good for me, but it is good for me in a terribly unpleasant way. I will be so happy to bid it adieu!
It doesn't help that I know I have very mild sleep problems and won't need the machine for long after my surgery, or after I lose any amount of weight. That makes it even more of an annoying invasion of my nights.
When I first put it on, it seems good. Ahh, yes, I think, that seems good. A little push of air. Not disruptive, not bothersome. Mask fits well, hose doesn't get in my way. All is well.
At some point during the night, it becomes INTENSELY annoying to me. I don't think I've slept through the night once since I got the darned thing. Not on the nights I've used it, anyway. There have been several nights that I have not used it.
I have a history of this sort of thing. I'm a terrible jaw-clencher and teeth-grinder. I have a nightguard, and I can humor myself and put it in before bed. I rarely will wake up with it in, however. My subconscious self decides at some point during the night to do away with it: tucking it in the medicine cabinet, throwing it on the floor, hiding it under my pillow.
Same with the CPAP. I generally find I am getting up to go to the bathroom (something I do not normally do) and "forgetting" to put it back on. Then awaking in the morning a little surprised that I'm not wearing it.
Oh, I hate that thing. I know it's supposed to be good for me, but it is good for me in a terribly unpleasant way. I will be so happy to bid it adieu!
Spell Checker
Oh my goodness, I had no idea that I've been spelling 'acupuncture' and 'acupuncturist' wrong all this time! I guess I was going a little overboard with my Cs! And I was just arrogant enough to think that the highlighted 'accupuncturist,' signifying a spelling error, was some sort of mistake on blogger.com's part, not mine, haha. But it finally puzzled me enough to check into it - and wah-lah! Poor spelling on my part.
Not that it's the first or last time you'll see a) mistakes or b) foolish arrogance on this blog. Bear with me. :)
Not that it's the first or last time you'll see a) mistakes or b) foolish arrogance on this blog. Bear with me. :)
Goofball
My accupuncturist reaaalllllllyyyy wants me to stop eating gluten. I am a stubborn one, though, and have not yet taken the plunge. Her reasons make sense, and I would be well-served to give it a try.
- My low levels of iron, vitamin D and vitamin B. She says this is exactly what you'd expect to see in someone with malabsorption problems, likely due to gluten intolerance.
- My ethnicity as 1/4 Alaskan Native (here, I always say "eskimo" but I am told that it is now an offensive term. Not to me or my family, haha, but I'll yield to the PC-gods, nonetheless.) My accupuncturist says "Alaska Natives" are notoriously gluten-intolerant because it simply was not part of their natural diet.
- She's been gluten-free for several years and swears by it. She's a big nutrition/healthy eating fan.
Okay, I already know I am lactose intolerant. That in itself makes me cranky. :) Give up wheat and dairy?? (This statement implies that I've actually given up dairy, which I have not. I've simply learned not to overindulge quite as often, and when I do, while I am retching into the wastebasket whilst sitting on the toilet with horrificly painful diarrea - well, at least I understand that I did it to myself. Dope.)
Years ago, I did have my doctor do a celiac blood work panel on me. It came back fine. However, my accupuncturist says the initial panel they usually do has a high false negative rate: there is some more involved test that yields better results. Now, I trust my doctor, but I have to say - after my initial iron test was "fine" and my follow-up panel ordered by the sleep doctor was so miserable...well, let's just say I'm open to the follow-up testing.
The reason I requested the celiac panel was because of the Starbucks Eight-Grain Roll. I'm not much for sweets in the morning, and I had taken to eating these rolls. And it took me a little while to figure out that I was getting a miserable stomach ache and being gassy and bloaty after "enjoying" them. Oh! It was when I made the rolls at home that I really made the connection. I found a similar recipe, made delicious rolls at home, and paid the price. I started wondering if I was gluten-intolerant, or even had celiac disease.
My doctor poo-poo'd me right from the start. As a morbidly obese woman, he said I obviously was not having troubles absorbing food. (He didn't say it that callously, but I'm just cutting to the chase.) My accupuncturist says the opposite is true - obesity can indicate poor nutrient absorption, too.
The easy thing to do would be to stop eating gluten, even temporarily. However, I'm spoiled. Without a diagnose, some professional confirmation that I am gluten intolerant...well, it's easier to keep eating it. Doh.
And I'm intolerant, I can tell you for sure. I am always gassy and bloated feeling! This is real! I used to think it was because I drank so much pop: but when I didn't drink pop, I felt the same way.
Give. up. the. gluten. I have done this for a short time in the past. It is not hard, it is just not fun. I have read online resources and borrowed books from the library on the subject.
As my accupuncturist says, now it's just on me to make the decision.
- My low levels of iron, vitamin D and vitamin B. She says this is exactly what you'd expect to see in someone with malabsorption problems, likely due to gluten intolerance.
- My ethnicity as 1/4 Alaskan Native (here, I always say "eskimo" but I am told that it is now an offensive term. Not to me or my family, haha, but I'll yield to the PC-gods, nonetheless.) My accupuncturist says "Alaska Natives" are notoriously gluten-intolerant because it simply was not part of their natural diet.
- She's been gluten-free for several years and swears by it. She's a big nutrition/healthy eating fan.
Okay, I already know I am lactose intolerant. That in itself makes me cranky. :) Give up wheat and dairy?? (This statement implies that I've actually given up dairy, which I have not. I've simply learned not to overindulge quite as often, and when I do, while I am retching into the wastebasket whilst sitting on the toilet with horrificly painful diarrea - well, at least I understand that I did it to myself. Dope.)
Years ago, I did have my doctor do a celiac blood work panel on me. It came back fine. However, my accupuncturist says the initial panel they usually do has a high false negative rate: there is some more involved test that yields better results. Now, I trust my doctor, but I have to say - after my initial iron test was "fine" and my follow-up panel ordered by the sleep doctor was so miserable...well, let's just say I'm open to the follow-up testing.
The reason I requested the celiac panel was because of the Starbucks Eight-Grain Roll. I'm not much for sweets in the morning, and I had taken to eating these rolls. And it took me a little while to figure out that I was getting a miserable stomach ache and being gassy and bloaty after "enjoying" them. Oh! It was when I made the rolls at home that I really made the connection. I found a similar recipe, made delicious rolls at home, and paid the price. I started wondering if I was gluten-intolerant, or even had celiac disease.
My doctor poo-poo'd me right from the start. As a morbidly obese woman, he said I obviously was not having troubles absorbing food. (He didn't say it that callously, but I'm just cutting to the chase.) My accupuncturist says the opposite is true - obesity can indicate poor nutrient absorption, too.
The easy thing to do would be to stop eating gluten, even temporarily. However, I'm spoiled. Without a diagnose, some professional confirmation that I am gluten intolerant...well, it's easier to keep eating it. Doh.
And I'm intolerant, I can tell you for sure. I am always gassy and bloated feeling! This is real! I used to think it was because I drank so much pop: but when I didn't drink pop, I felt the same way.
Give. up. the. gluten. I have done this for a short time in the past. It is not hard, it is just not fun. I have read online resources and borrowed books from the library on the subject.
As my accupuncturist says, now it's just on me to make the decision.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Ex-Smoker
Happy six weeks smoke free to me! Hurray! I am happy to say that I feel confident in my non-smoking status. Generally, I don't think too much about it. When I quit smoking (twice) earlier this year for three weeks each time, I started up again when I was having a hard time with the kids. The stress just got to me. I think I've been doing much better wrangling my three young'uns, and I haven't wanted to turn back to cigarettes. On Thanksgiving, I went to my parents' house. They both smoke - the elusive "light smokers" who have no more than a few cigarettes a day. Anyway, they went outside after dinner to smoke...and that was the first time that I thought, "yes, I'd like one, too." I didn't even go outside with them to chat: I found something to keep myself busy, and the urge was fleeting, anyway.
I will have to be careful, though. Cigarettes sound good when I drink, and they have always been a crutch for me when I am stressed. When I quit in 1998 or thereabouts, I did well as a non-smoker. However, I was getting ready to have children, so I was very committed to it and had finite goal(s) in mind.
I started smoking again, briefly, in 2004. I had to have an MRI for an upcoming back surgery. In the MRI machine, I had a complete and utter claustrophobic meltdown! Oh man, did I ever hate that. I left the lab in tears and went across the street and bought a pack of cigarettes. I sat on the stairs of the store and cried and smoked. Eep. MRIs = nasty. Anyway, I was a basket case over the impending surgery, and I smoked for several months leading up to the surgery, then quit right before it.
Also, this week I had a couple dreams about smoking. This isn't unusual - I've had dreams about smoking every time I've quit. These dreams were humorous, though. In the first, I found a half-pack of cigarettes and lit one, without thinking. After I had smoked it, I chastised myself for "forgetting" that I am a non-smoker. Then I realized it was a dream, and I felt relieved that it wasn't really happening. I laughed about it when I woke up. However, the next time I fell asleep, I dreamed I was smoking: this time I was pissed off because I *knew* I wasn't dreaming (of course, I really was)! Oh, I was so mad at myself in that dream...and still a happy non-smoker when I woke up. Oh, crazy psyche...
So...I will always have to watch myself with cigarettes. They are a big time stress "go to" for me. But today, I am six weeks smoke free, I am proud of myself and have no urge to pick up the habit again. Yay, me!
The original quit smoking meter I was using on the blog doesn't seem to be working. This one is okay - but shows some odd currency sign instead of the $ sign. However, the math still checks out. Over 600 cigarettes foregone! And over $300 saved! (Where in the heck is this money, though??)
I will have to be careful, though. Cigarettes sound good when I drink, and they have always been a crutch for me when I am stressed. When I quit in 1998 or thereabouts, I did well as a non-smoker. However, I was getting ready to have children, so I was very committed to it and had finite goal(s) in mind.
I started smoking again, briefly, in 2004. I had to have an MRI for an upcoming back surgery. In the MRI machine, I had a complete and utter claustrophobic meltdown! Oh man, did I ever hate that. I left the lab in tears and went across the street and bought a pack of cigarettes. I sat on the stairs of the store and cried and smoked. Eep. MRIs = nasty. Anyway, I was a basket case over the impending surgery, and I smoked for several months leading up to the surgery, then quit right before it.
Also, this week I had a couple dreams about smoking. This isn't unusual - I've had dreams about smoking every time I've quit. These dreams were humorous, though. In the first, I found a half-pack of cigarettes and lit one, without thinking. After I had smoked it, I chastised myself for "forgetting" that I am a non-smoker. Then I realized it was a dream, and I felt relieved that it wasn't really happening. I laughed about it when I woke up. However, the next time I fell asleep, I dreamed I was smoking: this time I was pissed off because I *knew* I wasn't dreaming (of course, I really was)! Oh, I was so mad at myself in that dream...and still a happy non-smoker when I woke up. Oh, crazy psyche...
So...I will always have to watch myself with cigarettes. They are a big time stress "go to" for me. But today, I am six weeks smoke free, I am proud of myself and have no urge to pick up the habit again. Yay, me!
The original quit smoking meter I was using on the blog doesn't seem to be working. This one is okay - but shows some odd currency sign instead of the $ sign. However, the math still checks out. Over 600 cigarettes foregone! And over $300 saved! (Where in the heck is this money, though??)
Bariatric Surgery Support Group
I went to my second support group meeting today. I'm so glad I went! A couple observations on the makeup of the group:
- most of the people there are significantly older than me (55+, I'd say). There was one girl there who is 20 - she had lap-band surgery two years ago.
- most of the people there had gastric bypass, roux-en-y surgery. Two had lap band, two or three had gastric sleeve, as I plan to have.
- more women than men.
All are so nice. Two of the women strike me as a little kooky. Interestingly, both of them were also the ones who seemed overly stressed about the amount of food they are only able to eat. One spoke of being molested frequently in the past, of not trusting men, etc. These topics were not par for the course for the meeting.
Lap band surgery is not nearly as effective as gastric bypass or gastric sleeve. The two people there: the 20-year-old girl and the 50-something man, have not lost very much weight. She has lost 37 pounds in two years, he has lost about that in the 10 months since his surgery. They both have quite a bit more weight to lose, but not so much that you would think they need gastric bypass surgery. She expressed some disappointment in her weight loss, but acknowledged it has not been a priority for her. I pointed out that at least she wasn't gaining weight. I was about as overweight as she is at her age, and if I had been able to curb the weight gain, life would be very different for me now, perhaps.
There were three people there, two women and a man, who were eleven days post-op for gastric bypass surgery. That was primarily why I was so glad I went! They all looked wonderful. Good color, healthy, happy. All said they experienced no pain from the surgery, only discomfort. All said they stopped using pain meds in the hospital. I was very pleased to see how well they looked so soon after the operation. It has been one of my biggest concerns with the operation. Post-surgery, my life will continue at its normal fast pace. My kids' dad will take them for a couple weeks following surgery, and I will take a couple weeks off work. But I want, and need, to be back on my game as soon as possible. Seeing these three made me feel good.
One of the recent surgery patients was one of the women who was stressed about how much she could only eat. She is eleven days post-op and she wanted to be eating more variety, eating regular foods. She said that she did eat a small portion of regular Thanksgiving dinner. It was a little disconcerting: it illustrated how the food addiction does not disappear with surgery. However, most people report that immediately after surgery, the hunger disappears, for the most part. I am wondering if the two women who seemed a little more...hmm...what is the word I'm looking for? A little less mentally stable (although they weren't *unstable* by any means) were also the ones who seemed to struggle with the loss of food more.
One man has lost 132 pounds since his bypass surgery in February. He was really quite inspirational. He talked about the emotional difficulties following surgery. He said for the first couple months after surgery, he was pleased with his weight loss but could only described his emotional state as feeling deprived. He said it was hard, but he focused his energy on all the many benefits of the surgery and weight loss. He said, again, at Thanksgiving - such a food-based holiday, it was a little hard. But he has so much more going on for himself than a year ago, it was only a feeling of minor loss. He is really cool. His wife was there (not obese) and they talked about changing priorities: he used as an example milestones he set for himself post-op. He said it was very hard at first to think of non-food celebrations to look forward to when he met his milestones. :) I liked them both immensely. He works out regularly now: twice a week with the physical therapist, more at home.
For my part, I shared that I am planning the gastric sleeve operation in January. I quit smoking about a month and a half ago, and have struggled with weight gain since. I am nervous, but excited about the surgery. I loved seeing people look so healthy immediately after the surgery, and I loved hearing their success stories. I am stressed about missing time from work, since I have exhausted all my paid leave. They are such a nice, supportive group, it really boosted my spirits.
I've got another post or two in mind, I've got some errands to run but will be back later!
- most of the people there are significantly older than me (55+, I'd say). There was one girl there who is 20 - she had lap-band surgery two years ago.
- most of the people there had gastric bypass, roux-en-y surgery. Two had lap band, two or three had gastric sleeve, as I plan to have.
- more women than men.
All are so nice. Two of the women strike me as a little kooky. Interestingly, both of them were also the ones who seemed overly stressed about the amount of food they are only able to eat. One spoke of being molested frequently in the past, of not trusting men, etc. These topics were not par for the course for the meeting.
Lap band surgery is not nearly as effective as gastric bypass or gastric sleeve. The two people there: the 20-year-old girl and the 50-something man, have not lost very much weight. She has lost 37 pounds in two years, he has lost about that in the 10 months since his surgery. They both have quite a bit more weight to lose, but not so much that you would think they need gastric bypass surgery. She expressed some disappointment in her weight loss, but acknowledged it has not been a priority for her. I pointed out that at least she wasn't gaining weight. I was about as overweight as she is at her age, and if I had been able to curb the weight gain, life would be very different for me now, perhaps.
There were three people there, two women and a man, who were eleven days post-op for gastric bypass surgery. That was primarily why I was so glad I went! They all looked wonderful. Good color, healthy, happy. All said they experienced no pain from the surgery, only discomfort. All said they stopped using pain meds in the hospital. I was very pleased to see how well they looked so soon after the operation. It has been one of my biggest concerns with the operation. Post-surgery, my life will continue at its normal fast pace. My kids' dad will take them for a couple weeks following surgery, and I will take a couple weeks off work. But I want, and need, to be back on my game as soon as possible. Seeing these three made me feel good.
One of the recent surgery patients was one of the women who was stressed about how much she could only eat. She is eleven days post-op and she wanted to be eating more variety, eating regular foods. She said that she did eat a small portion of regular Thanksgiving dinner. It was a little disconcerting: it illustrated how the food addiction does not disappear with surgery. However, most people report that immediately after surgery, the hunger disappears, for the most part. I am wondering if the two women who seemed a little more...hmm...what is the word I'm looking for? A little less mentally stable (although they weren't *unstable* by any means) were also the ones who seemed to struggle with the loss of food more.
One man has lost 132 pounds since his bypass surgery in February. He was really quite inspirational. He talked about the emotional difficulties following surgery. He said for the first couple months after surgery, he was pleased with his weight loss but could only described his emotional state as feeling deprived. He said it was hard, but he focused his energy on all the many benefits of the surgery and weight loss. He said, again, at Thanksgiving - such a food-based holiday, it was a little hard. But he has so much more going on for himself than a year ago, it was only a feeling of minor loss. He is really cool. His wife was there (not obese) and they talked about changing priorities: he used as an example milestones he set for himself post-op. He said it was very hard at first to think of non-food celebrations to look forward to when he met his milestones. :) I liked them both immensely. He works out regularly now: twice a week with the physical therapist, more at home.
For my part, I shared that I am planning the gastric sleeve operation in January. I quit smoking about a month and a half ago, and have struggled with weight gain since. I am nervous, but excited about the surgery. I loved seeing people look so healthy immediately after the surgery, and I loved hearing their success stories. I am stressed about missing time from work, since I have exhausted all my paid leave. They are such a nice, supportive group, it really boosted my spirits.
I've got another post or two in mind, I've got some errands to run but will be back later!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Iron-y
I'm a couple weeks out from my second iron infusion, and I have to say...wow! I think I am feeling much better! I have noticed that I am waking up before the alarm in the morning, and actually getting up. Pre-iron, I would hit the snooze button a million times and finally drag myself out of bed at the last possible minute.
Also, I'm not so tired in the evening. I'm getting more things done and not collapsing into bed at the earliest possible moment.
Finally - I am not so irritable. This is really quite remarkable, as it's hard for me to recognize irritability as a valid side effect of low iron. But also, I haven't understood why I'm so damn irritable without good reason. And lately...well, I'm just not. Sure, I'm still bitchy and overwhelmed sometimes, but largely, I think the difference in my mood is pretty darn noticeable.
I've also taken three of my weekly 50,000 IUI vitamin D capsules. Three? Hmm, I'll have to check. I got the prescription a week and a half or so ago...maybe I've only taken it twice. Anyway, between the iron and the vitamin D...well, I daresay I am feeling human again!!
I get my blood levels checked on Wednesday afternoon. I am very interested to see where everything stands. Also, I find it interesting that I stopped taking antidepressants in late July. I have to say that all these months later...I don't miss them. I would say I feel the same or better as I did when I was on the antidepressants. When my moods are blue or even bleak, they are the same blueness or bleakness as when I was on the antidepressant. When I am feeling good, which is generally most times...I feel as good or better as when I was taking the antidepressant. And I don't have to deal with all the yucky side effects.
Also, I'm not so tired in the evening. I'm getting more things done and not collapsing into bed at the earliest possible moment.
Finally - I am not so irritable. This is really quite remarkable, as it's hard for me to recognize irritability as a valid side effect of low iron. But also, I haven't understood why I'm so damn irritable without good reason. And lately...well, I'm just not. Sure, I'm still bitchy and overwhelmed sometimes, but largely, I think the difference in my mood is pretty darn noticeable.
I've also taken three of my weekly 50,000 IUI vitamin D capsules. Three? Hmm, I'll have to check. I got the prescription a week and a half or so ago...maybe I've only taken it twice. Anyway, between the iron and the vitamin D...well, I daresay I am feeling human again!!
I get my blood levels checked on Wednesday afternoon. I am very interested to see where everything stands. Also, I find it interesting that I stopped taking antidepressants in late July. I have to say that all these months later...I don't miss them. I would say I feel the same or better as I did when I was on the antidepressants. When my moods are blue or even bleak, they are the same blueness or bleakness as when I was on the antidepressant. When I am feeling good, which is generally most times...I feel as good or better as when I was taking the antidepressant. And I don't have to deal with all the yucky side effects.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Costco's Protein Drink and More Thoughts on the Surgery
Really, that's the best one of the bunch, I suppose. It looks like the brand is "Premier Nutrition," but mostly, it just says "Protein" in big letters down the front of the box. It's 3 grams of fat and 30 grams of protein. Tastes yummy. Sells for pretty cheap at Costco.
My ranty post yesterday about deciding to have the surgery was purely for my benefit. I am blessed with friends who support my decision, but not blindly: asking the same questions I am asking myself, coaxing me to think through the things I need to resolve. I don't want to second guess my decision after the surgery, so I need to make my peace with it before the big day! And it is a struggle for me. By nature, I am very, very hard on myself and my perceived failings. My weight, my body, my health - I have a lot of regrets and recriminations about it. So, the last thing I want to be doing after the surgery is kicking myself for having it. I know me: I have to work through all my feelings, so when I'm recovering and need my gallbladder out, while I'm standing there holding fistfuls of my own hair...well, I need to know that I thought it all through and made peace with my decision.
(Hopefully, this scenario won't play out! Instead, I'll be rocking my ever-shrinking body and bouncing off the walls with all my newfound freedom and energy.)
My ranty post yesterday about deciding to have the surgery was purely for my benefit. I am blessed with friends who support my decision, but not blindly: asking the same questions I am asking myself, coaxing me to think through the things I need to resolve. I don't want to second guess my decision after the surgery, so I need to make my peace with it before the big day! And it is a struggle for me. By nature, I am very, very hard on myself and my perceived failings. My weight, my body, my health - I have a lot of regrets and recriminations about it. So, the last thing I want to be doing after the surgery is kicking myself for having it. I know me: I have to work through all my feelings, so when I'm recovering and need my gallbladder out, while I'm standing there holding fistfuls of my own hair...well, I need to know that I thought it all through and made peace with my decision.
(Hopefully, this scenario won't play out! Instead, I'll be rocking my ever-shrinking body and bouncing off the walls with all my newfound freedom and energy.)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Biggest Loser Previous Winners
I borrowed this picture from another site. I haven't followed the Biggest Loser (see future posts RE: self-loathing, what-I-hate-about-you-is-what-I-hate-most-about-myself). Clearly, though, the photo demonstrates that weight challenges continue to be a very personal, very difficult struggle, even with all the resources and media spotlights. But Oprah would be the first to admit that, too.
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