A la all the cool kids' blogs (or 23imaginaryfriends.blogspot.com, anyway), here is my work out plan for the week:
Sunday: nada
Monday: 2x400 stairs (AM and PM run), 2x160 back down, one hour deep water aerobics
Tuesday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, walk at lunch (forecast says sun for this one stinking day)
Wednesday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, one hour deep water aerobics
Thursday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down, 90 minutes vinyasa yoga
Friday: 2x400 stairs (AM/PM), 2x160 back down
Saturday: nada
And here's how last week's workouts went:
Sunday: nada
Monday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down, one hour deep water aerobics
Tuesday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down
Wednesday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down
Thursday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down, 90 minutes vinyasa yoga
Friday: 2x400 stairs, 2x160 back down, bowled four games
Saturday: nada
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
New Britches - and a Giveaway (Completely Unrelated to My Underwear)
Tomorrow is my three month post-op date, so I am looking forward to comparing my before/during photos. But this is a good one, too. :) I had taken to rolling my granny panties up in order to keep them from riding the middle of my back. But this weekend (uh, little bit of shopping this weekend - new jeans, new boots, new undies, new yoga clothes...) I decided to go buy some pretty panties...at Victoria's Secret! Look at me, shopping at the regular girls' stores, woo hoo!
Anyway, here's a fun before and after, and if this is too personal for you, just be glad I didn't post a pic of me wearing them. ;)
And, hey! Check out Runner...Maybe's giveaway over at Jen's blog. She has some super-cute earrings from an Etsy site to give away. Hurry up, the drawing is at 9 a.m. PST on 4/15! (I am not charging extra for the shout out on the giveaway in my panties post, hahaha.) Jen's blog is also a great read for those of us on the weight loss track - I have found it so inspirational! Jen's lost 85 pounds and is an actual runner now! :) Unfathomable for someone like me who is an expert couch potato...but as I emerge from this dark cloud of obesity, I am just so excited at all the things I can do. Run? Maybe.
Anyway, here's a fun before and after, and if this is too personal for you, just be glad I didn't post a pic of me wearing them. ;)
And, hey! Check out Runner...Maybe's giveaway over at Jen's blog. She has some super-cute earrings from an Etsy site to give away. Hurry up, the drawing is at 9 a.m. PST on 4/15! (I am not charging extra for the shout out on the giveaway in my panties post, hahaha.) Jen's blog is also a great read for those of us on the weight loss track - I have found it so inspirational! Jen's lost 85 pounds and is an actual runner now! :) Unfathomable for someone like me who is an expert couch potato...but as I emerge from this dark cloud of obesity, I am just so excited at all the things I can do. Run? Maybe.
Mwah-ha-ha Size 12!
I picked up some jeans today at Costco - I got the size 14 and *hoped* they would fit, since the other size 14s um, well, if not *fit* exactly, at least I was able to get them on. So I got home with my new jeans, put them on, and...gasp...I need a size 12! Wowsa!
I also bought two cute pairs of boots while I was out and about today. I'm strictly a tennis shoes kind of girl, specifically a Keen tennies girl. But I am feeling better, and prettier, and girlier, so I decided to go for cute boots with low heels.
Now, just to wear them. :) I will have to remember to bring my tennies to work so I can still do my stair runs. Maybe changing into my Keens will make me so happy, I'll be excited to run the stairs!
I also bought two cute pairs of boots while I was out and about today. I'm strictly a tennis shoes kind of girl, specifically a Keen tennies girl. But I am feeling better, and prettier, and girlier, so I decided to go for cute boots with low heels.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Sunshine! Made Especially for My Blog by Favicon Fixer
Hrm, did you know those little custom pictures in the URL for web pages is called a "favicon?" I had no idea. And if you look in the corner by my blog address, you hopefully see a bright yellow sunshine instead of the old Blogger "B." It was given to me courtesy of Dion at Favicon Fixer. Dion is on a mission to customize people's websites with cute little graphics and get rid of the generic stuff. I heard about this from my friend Kim at 23imaginaryfriends.blogspot.com.
Anyway, I left Dion my blog address and email address on his blog, and he emailed me easy instructions to make the sunshine come out here at Free Julie. I wish he could make it sunny in Seattle, too!
Go see Dion's blog if you want your own custom favicon for your blog. Tell him Free Julie sent you. :)
Anyway, I left Dion my blog address and email address on his blog, and he emailed me easy instructions to make the sunshine come out here at Free Julie. I wish he could make it sunny in Seattle, too!
Go see Dion's blog if you want your own custom favicon for your blog. Tell him Free Julie sent you. :)
Oh Hells Yeah I Went to that Yoga Class!
Whew. I am beat. It has been a long week of lots of working out, and I am TIH-RED. My stairclimbing buddy ditched me Wednesday, Thursday and she will be gone today, so I am very impressed with myself for sticking to it alone. Everything hurts, as much as it did when I first started working the stairs.
So, I went to the yoga class last night and loved it. Firstly, I forgot about men. Oops. There are men in the class, and this threw me into a bit of a last minute nervous spell. Okay - shake it off. No one has time during class to watch you twist and contort on the mat. The class was small, which was comforting at first, but again, really doesn't matter.
It's not 'hot yoga' but the studio was about 90 degrees. Yipes. That took a little getting used to, also. And while I knew the session is Tu/Thu, I forgot this meant I would have missed the first class, so I went into it a little behind. Had to introduce myself and my experience, etc. all by my lonesome. I found myself feeling self-conscious because of my weight, being new, and inadvertently saying I hadn't done yoga since 2004, which made me draw my own imaginary conclusion of "before I got fat." Oh, I was fat, then, too, it's just no fun being the only fat chick in the room.
The community center offers a gentle yoga class for "people of size." I considered looking into it, but decided against it. I love yoga. When I was doing it before, I was obsessed with it. I don't want a "just like yoga" class - I want a real yoga class. I'm not saying the community center class isn't - I just wanted to go right to the source. My friend has used this studio (at another location) for years and loves it. She's very into the mental side of it, too, and so I had a high level of comfort going into it.
All that said, I suck. Wow, have I ever lost a ton of flexibility over the years. I knew that, but it was eye-opening to see once I got on the mat. There's not a whole heck of a lot of difference between my downward facing dog and my plank pose! Rigid!!
I'm just not bendy, and my hamstrings are super tight. I will be a long work in progress! But I had a blast, and I was dripping with sweat and dying for the class to end - no, dying for the opportunity to do corpse pose at the end. I can absolutely rock the corpse pose - I have an innate ability for this one:
I talked to the instructor, a very nice, relaxing and entertaining guy, after class. Coming on Thursdays only will be a bit problematic, because I am missing half the instruction. He said we will work through it and I will just be playing catch up, but it's not a race. He said my attitude is great and it will be fine. Yeah, my attitude is great because when he came over to guide me into a twisty pose that I was nowhere near approaching, I started cracking up when he was offering instruction.
In short, I did feel at a disadvantage by joining the second class, but it will be okay. It can seem overwhelming at first, but I had my bearings by the end of the evening. The class is a higher level beginner class than I was hoping for, but it was a tough work out and I will love it. Did love it. I was initially looking for more of a yoga pose type class - moving from pose to pose working on stretching and flexibility. This class is a variant on my old Ashtanga yoga classes, which were a fast-paced series of poses done in order at a fairly rapid pace. This class is slower paced than the Ashtanga (for now, anyway) but is the same sort of thing: sun salutation, warrior series, etc...moving, moving, moving through a series without stopping.
Tonight, I am bowling with friends, because I'm just such an active person, I couldn't bear to sit around on a Friday night and have a quiet dinner and drinks. Oh no, I'm a restless spirit, I have to keep moving, moving, moving in order to be at ease. (Pardon my brainwashing, haha, I am trying to reprogram myself!) This is the first time I've been bowling since surgery, I'm looking forward to it! I will also try a beer, although I've tried three cocktails now since surgery, and all three times, after just a sip or two, my sleeve has said, "Nope. Not taking that - give it away, you're not having any!"
p.s. - one of the bestest things about yoga class? New clothes! Wow, do I ever need some workout clothes that fit me! My pants were falling down, my t-shirt was sagging low, exposing my breasts on any of the bending poses - I felt like I was wearing a tent!
p.p.s. - I think I'll have a fun shopping weekend. I need new underwear, too, all my granny panties are riding up HIGH on my back now, and I'm having to roll, roll, roll them at the waist. I'm experiencing many super-fun benefits of the weight loss!
So, I went to the yoga class last night and loved it. Firstly, I forgot about men. Oops. There are men in the class, and this threw me into a bit of a last minute nervous spell. Okay - shake it off. No one has time during class to watch you twist and contort on the mat. The class was small, which was comforting at first, but again, really doesn't matter.
It's not 'hot yoga' but the studio was about 90 degrees. Yipes. That took a little getting used to, also. And while I knew the session is Tu/Thu, I forgot this meant I would have missed the first class, so I went into it a little behind. Had to introduce myself and my experience, etc. all by my lonesome. I found myself feeling self-conscious because of my weight, being new, and inadvertently saying I hadn't done yoga since 2004, which made me draw my own imaginary conclusion of "before I got fat." Oh, I was fat, then, too, it's just no fun being the only fat chick in the room.
The community center offers a gentle yoga class for "people of size." I considered looking into it, but decided against it. I love yoga. When I was doing it before, I was obsessed with it. I don't want a "just like yoga" class - I want a real yoga class. I'm not saying the community center class isn't - I just wanted to go right to the source. My friend has used this studio (at another location) for years and loves it. She's very into the mental side of it, too, and so I had a high level of comfort going into it.
All that said, I suck. Wow, have I ever lost a ton of flexibility over the years. I knew that, but it was eye-opening to see once I got on the mat. There's not a whole heck of a lot of difference between my downward facing dog and my plank pose! Rigid!!
I'm just not bendy, and my hamstrings are super tight. I will be a long work in progress! But I had a blast, and I was dripping with sweat and dying for the class to end - no, dying for the opportunity to do corpse pose at the end. I can absolutely rock the corpse pose - I have an innate ability for this one:
In short, I did feel at a disadvantage by joining the second class, but it will be okay. It can seem overwhelming at first, but I had my bearings by the end of the evening. The class is a higher level beginner class than I was hoping for, but it was a tough work out and I will love it. Did love it. I was initially looking for more of a yoga pose type class - moving from pose to pose working on stretching and flexibility. This class is a variant on my old Ashtanga yoga classes, which were a fast-paced series of poses done in order at a fairly rapid pace. This class is slower paced than the Ashtanga (for now, anyway) but is the same sort of thing: sun salutation, warrior series, etc...moving, moving, moving through a series without stopping.
Tonight, I am bowling with friends, because I'm just such an active person, I couldn't bear to sit around on a Friday night and have a quiet dinner and drinks. Oh no, I'm a restless spirit, I have to keep moving, moving, moving in order to be at ease. (Pardon my brainwashing, haha, I am trying to reprogram myself!) This is the first time I've been bowling since surgery, I'm looking forward to it! I will also try a beer, although I've tried three cocktails now since surgery, and all three times, after just a sip or two, my sleeve has said, "Nope. Not taking that - give it away, you're not having any!"
p.s. - one of the bestest things about yoga class? New clothes! Wow, do I ever need some workout clothes that fit me! My pants were falling down, my t-shirt was sagging low, exposing my breasts on any of the bending poses - I felt like I was wearing a tent!
p.p.s. - I think I'll have a fun shopping weekend. I need new underwear, too, all my granny panties are riding up HIGH on my back now, and I'm having to roll, roll, roll them at the waist. I'm experiencing many super-fun benefits of the weight loss!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
How I Got Fat, or at Least the Excuses I Use
Quick lunch before/after check-in. My coworker saw this picture up on my screen and is mocking my three pieces of tofu for lunch. :)
Oh dear, this blog has the potential to become a fitness blog if I'm not careful! Shhh - who would think that could come from me? This blog was supposed to be about how I had weight loss surgery and was magically transformed from a gelatinous goo to a beautiful fairy princess, all without breaking a sweat or inconveniencing my slothenly lifestyle in any way.
Hrm.
So, the great thing about weight loss surgery. I FEEL HUMAN AGAIN!
Sure, I have a long, long way to go. But I am feeling great and looking better all the time. Today, for instance, I packed myself into a pair of SIZE 14 jeans like a canned ham. Sure, I can't breathe too good, and sure, I'm a little blue around the lips and finger nails from lack of oxygen, but I CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WORE A SIZE 14!
I think my wedding dress was a size 12. And that was 1991, the summer I was 21 years old. (Quick math check - yes, that's right. Oh dear, that makes me nearly 30 now.) From ages 19-22, I would characterize myself as rather hawt. It was a brief but pleasurable era. I was working out all the time, I felt beautiful and sexy and I was beating the boys off with a stick. I think I weighed about 125 pounds, mas o menos. I remember my jeans were in the size 4-6 range, so when I am near a reasonable weight, I am pretty small.
In fact, at 5'3", I'm suddenly getting an awful lot of comments now about how short I am. Hrm. People are commenting that they had never realized how short I am, and how little. Uh, thanks. :) Even my mom, last time she saw me, said, "Wow, you're really short, aren't you? You're just going to be tiny." Thanks Mom. Genetics played some sort of role, I'm sure. (Although she's 5'5 or so.) On my dad's side, my grandma and my aunt are what I call "bird women." You know the type - short, small frames, tiny. I am a hybrid, I guess. I will never lose weight from my ginormous head, and my feet, at size 7.5-8 are not what typically accompanies a 5'3" frame. But since I wore size 4-6 clothing, I have capacity for smallness. I always thought of my trim frame as Mary Lou Retton-ish. (Note to self: Update this reference point so as to not make myself seem oooolllldddd.)
In 1990, I fell and broke my ankle really badly. I had never been hurt before, and this was *hurt*. I had to have two operations on it. In the course of the same fall, I probably broke my spine, too, although we'll never know for sure.
The accident happened on a rainy Seattle afternoon when I had just gotten off work. I was walking down a steep sidewalk toward the bus stop, when I stepped onto a 3' square water meter cover in the middle of the sidewalk. I slipped, and the inside of my right ankle hit the sunken corner of the meter cover, HARD. It broke off a big chunk of my ankle bone, which had to be reattached with pins and screws. I was laid up in bed for several weeks and had two have two surgeries. At that time, my low back was killing me. I attributed it to laying around in bed all day. Over the years, my back pain became progressively worse and worse and worse, until in 2004 I had a spinal fusion surgery because I was in so much pain, I genuinely didn't care if I lived or died any more. I had put off surgery to have babies (1999 and 2001 and one the stork hand-delivered to me in 2005). By 2004, I could barely take care of the babies. I had the spinal fusion, I walked with a walker for weeks, I was off work for six months, it was a grueling recovery but all parties (myself and my surgical team) agree that I am a poster child for the success of this operation. Years later, I am still pretty much pain free (not so much that I don't pop a vicodin now and then, but not enough that it impacts my life in any way).
But that was 2004, and we're not through with the broken ankles yet. Yes, ankles. In 1990, I broke my first one and had the surgeries. In 1992, probably, I broke the other ankle - playing drunk nighttime hide and seek at a campground with my then-husband and two of our friends. The doctors say this is a surprisingly common injury (breaking the other ankle, not drunk nighttime hide and seek). Apparently, you guard the injured bone and subject your other one to all sorts of stress. Well, in 1993 or so (time is a blur) I broke my left ankle AGAIN when I tripped on a garden hose stretched across the stairs of our front walk.
By the mid-1990s, you can bet that I had received the message loud and clear. DON'T DO ANYTHING - YOU WILL GET HURT. Over this time period, I started piling on the pounds at an alarming rate. And following my back surgery in 2004, the fear was cast in stone. How could I move? I might unfuse my back! Any number of terrors could be unleashed if I fell again, and I honestly couldn't bear the thought. And that's why I think I got fat: fear. I think it just got drummed into my head so hard that my body is fragile and anything I do puts it at terrible risk.
There were other things, too. Fear-related, there were several car accidents (none my fault, but one was especially terrible). Also, in 1998, I quit smoking in order to get ready to have babies. Nothing brings out the self-pity in me like quitting smoking, and I gained a ton of weight. My eating was completely unchecked, because I was quitting smoking, dammit. Leave me alone. I have some additional musings about depression and being married to the wrong man who *seems* like the right man (so my unhappiness must be my fault, of course), but I'll save those for another time.
Anyway, these are my demons - some of them, anyway, and I am confronting them head-on one at a time. I made the mistake of letting fear and other weaknesses drive my life for many years, and I am taking back the reins.
Oh dear, this blog has the potential to become a fitness blog if I'm not careful! Shhh - who would think that could come from me? This blog was supposed to be about how I had weight loss surgery and was magically transformed from a gelatinous goo to a beautiful fairy princess, all without breaking a sweat or inconveniencing my slothenly lifestyle in any way.
Hrm.
So, the great thing about weight loss surgery. I FEEL HUMAN AGAIN!
Sure, I have a long, long way to go. But I am feeling great and looking better all the time. Today, for instance, I packed myself into a pair of SIZE 14 jeans like a canned ham. Sure, I can't breathe too good, and sure, I'm a little blue around the lips and finger nails from lack of oxygen, but I CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WORE A SIZE 14!
I think my wedding dress was a size 12. And that was 1991, the summer I was 21 years old. (Quick math check - yes, that's right. Oh dear, that makes me nearly 30 now.) From ages 19-22, I would characterize myself as rather hawt. It was a brief but pleasurable era. I was working out all the time, I felt beautiful and sexy and I was beating the boys off with a stick. I think I weighed about 125 pounds, mas o menos. I remember my jeans were in the size 4-6 range, so when I am near a reasonable weight, I am pretty small.
In fact, at 5'3", I'm suddenly getting an awful lot of comments now about how short I am. Hrm. People are commenting that they had never realized how short I am, and how little. Uh, thanks. :) Even my mom, last time she saw me, said, "Wow, you're really short, aren't you? You're just going to be tiny." Thanks Mom. Genetics played some sort of role, I'm sure. (Although she's 5'5 or so.) On my dad's side, my grandma and my aunt are what I call "bird women." You know the type - short, small frames, tiny. I am a hybrid, I guess. I will never lose weight from my ginormous head, and my feet, at size 7.5-8 are not what typically accompanies a 5'3" frame. But since I wore size 4-6 clothing, I have capacity for smallness. I always thought of my trim frame as Mary Lou Retton-ish. (Note to self: Update this reference point so as to not make myself seem oooolllldddd.)
In 1990, I fell and broke my ankle really badly. I had never been hurt before, and this was *hurt*. I had to have two operations on it. In the course of the same fall, I probably broke my spine, too, although we'll never know for sure.
The accident happened on a rainy Seattle afternoon when I had just gotten off work. I was walking down a steep sidewalk toward the bus stop, when I stepped onto a 3' square water meter cover in the middle of the sidewalk. I slipped, and the inside of my right ankle hit the sunken corner of the meter cover, HARD. It broke off a big chunk of my ankle bone, which had to be reattached with pins and screws. I was laid up in bed for several weeks and had two have two surgeries. At that time, my low back was killing me. I attributed it to laying around in bed all day. Over the years, my back pain became progressively worse and worse and worse, until in 2004 I had a spinal fusion surgery because I was in so much pain, I genuinely didn't care if I lived or died any more. I had put off surgery to have babies (1999 and 2001 and one the stork hand-delivered to me in 2005). By 2004, I could barely take care of the babies. I had the spinal fusion, I walked with a walker for weeks, I was off work for six months, it was a grueling recovery but all parties (myself and my surgical team) agree that I am a poster child for the success of this operation. Years later, I am still pretty much pain free (not so much that I don't pop a vicodin now and then, but not enough that it impacts my life in any way).
But that was 2004, and we're not through with the broken ankles yet. Yes, ankles. In 1990, I broke my first one and had the surgeries. In 1992, probably, I broke the other ankle - playing drunk nighttime hide and seek at a campground with my then-husband and two of our friends. The doctors say this is a surprisingly common injury (breaking the other ankle, not drunk nighttime hide and seek). Apparently, you guard the injured bone and subject your other one to all sorts of stress. Well, in 1993 or so (time is a blur) I broke my left ankle AGAIN when I tripped on a garden hose stretched across the stairs of our front walk.
By the mid-1990s, you can bet that I had received the message loud and clear. DON'T DO ANYTHING - YOU WILL GET HURT. Over this time period, I started piling on the pounds at an alarming rate. And following my back surgery in 2004, the fear was cast in stone. How could I move? I might unfuse my back! Any number of terrors could be unleashed if I fell again, and I honestly couldn't bear the thought. And that's why I think I got fat: fear. I think it just got drummed into my head so hard that my body is fragile and anything I do puts it at terrible risk.
There were other things, too. Fear-related, there were several car accidents (none my fault, but one was especially terrible). Also, in 1998, I quit smoking in order to get ready to have babies. Nothing brings out the self-pity in me like quitting smoking, and I gained a ton of weight. My eating was completely unchecked, because I was quitting smoking, dammit. Leave me alone. I have some additional musings about depression and being married to the wrong man who *seems* like the right man (so my unhappiness must be my fault, of course), but I'll save those for another time.
Anyway, these are my demons - some of them, anyway, and I am confronting them head-on one at a time. I made the mistake of letting fear and other weaknesses drive my life for many years, and I am taking back the reins.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Fifty Big Ones!
Yay! I won't wax poetic about this milestone, since I'm still feeling pretty fat and bloaty today...but still, yay!
I'm back at work today and happy to report I did do my morning stair run by myself. I forgot to bring my phone to time it, and I wonder if I went faster? Seems like I paused more, but my legs were awfully wobbly when I was done, making me wonder if I had worked harder. Anyway, I was just glad to get it in, because, as I had feared - I was just downright procrastinatey about doing it, knowing my buddy isn't here today. I'm a wiley one - got to watch me because I'll look for any opportunity to bail on exercising. But I'm trying to change that. :)
Bummer - I will have to miss water aerobics tonight, and I'm not sure about tomorrow, either. Having the kids' dad out of town is clashing with my newfound devotion to exercise. (Newfound, and still feels quite foreign on my tongue/brain/fingertips to attribute to myself, haha.) I will also have to miss my WLS support group at the hospital - this is a bummer, as I have only missed a couple since I started attending at the end of September last year. I don't like to miss them, but do feel it's okay to wean down to one meeting a month at some point now. Usually they are very useful to me, sometimes they are not so relevant, but I like the people there.
I have an evening activity schedule in mind for myself, but it is complicated and requires my free evenings when the kids are with their dad. I'm trying to balance not wanting to short-shrift my time with the kids, and making my health/weight loss a priority in order to be the best me (and by consequence, best mom) that I can.
Mon - deep water aerobics (requires babysitter)
Tue - take kids to the Y to work out
Wed - deep water aerobics
Thur - vinyasa yoga
Fri -
Sat/Sun - lay around on couch smugly satisfied with myself
Add in the twice daily stair climbs and the lunch time walk (which honestly, have petered out with the crummy weather we're experiencing) and I think I have a do-able workout plan.
I was going to sign up for the yoga tomorrow night (it runs in four-week sessions, Tu/Thu, but they said I can attend Thu only for eight weeks). But it goes until late in the evening, and tomorrow I have my peeps. Generally, they are with their dad on Thursday nights, so the late class will be okay. I am wrestling with whether or not to attend: I have been eager to get back into yoga and kind of want to strike while the iron is hot.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
FAT DAY
Oh my, I gained every last ounce of my weight back today. Or so it felt. I just feel fat, fat, fat. It was the worst day ever!
This is actually a good thing - although it is hard to say that right now. It's a good thing, because yesterday I felt great and wonderful and inspired and ON MY WAY.
Today, I feel like crap. It's 180 degrees from yesterday. The lesson here is that I will have these days, and they can come on unexpectedly, and, like everything else, this too shall pass.
The day started out great. The kids are on spring break, so the nanny is coming early and my mornings are a breeze. Just get myself out the door, and done! Yay!
But I got a call less than an hour after I started. My 10-year-old had a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. You have no idea how we have battled nosebleeds with this child. And he gets gnarly ones - he has even bled out his eyes many times. Needless to say, they are near-hysteria inducing for him.
So. Never mind the fact that we have taken him to the doctor and even the ER a million times for nosebleeds and nothing can be done. Never mind the fact that he was signed up for expensive paintball camp today and has been looking forward to it for weeks. Never mind the fact that I have no vacation or sick leave time at work.
He was ADAMANT that I come home and take him to a doctor. His stress level was just absolutely through the roof.
Sigh. I left work, called the ENT and begged to be seen, came home and picked him up while the nanny took the other two to the YMCA to work out. Thankfully, the ENT said he would cauterize some blood vessels that are very close to the surface of the skin. He also put my son on antibiotics to treat a possible sinus infection that may be making things worse.
So my son spent the day in pain and miserable and worried. I spent the day consoling him. And it is pouring down rain, and my son is perfecting the sick-man/baby attitude that will undoubtedly drive his poor wife insane. And telling my five year old not to roughhouse or wrestle his older brother is like telling him not to breath all day. And OMG could this tiny townhouse be ANY SMALLER?
I am a claustrophobic mess. And I feel fat, very fat. My period is RAGING - oh hello, has it been two weeks already??? I am not even one who usually craves chocolate during my period, but today I had to make a specific trip into the drugstore. Yay me for not succumbing to my original goal of INHALING a bag of Hershey's candy coated eggs (the bane of my existence this time of year) but instead trying a mere *two* sugar-free mini Reese's peanut butter cups! Yum, by the way. Satiated my craving and didn't make me feel like a failure. Did not even backhand said 10-year-old who said, sweetly, "mom you just had weight loss surgery, you shouldn't eat candy." Sigh.
No exercise. No sanity. Just me, a whiny/injured/scared boy, a wild out-of-control-mom's-home-let's-rock-the-Casbah boy, and my 12-year-old (no complaints here today, haha). Living out my dream of being the little old woman who lived in a shoe, so many children she didn't know what to do...
Better day, tomorrow. Better be. :) And I couldn't have really gained 49.9999999 pounds overnight, right? Right?
p.s. And I am very sad because I signed up for deep water aerobics last night and was *so* looking forward to going again tomorrow night. But my ex is out of town (his second of three vacations in three months - ahem - child support, anyone?) and I'm covering his days with the kids. I forgot my middle guy has an appointment tomorrow evening that would break his heart to miss. So I will have to miss water aerobics, which will break my heart. :( I think I'll pop a few vitamin Ds tonight and pray for a little relief tomorrow!
This is actually a good thing - although it is hard to say that right now. It's a good thing, because yesterday I felt great and wonderful and inspired and ON MY WAY.
Today, I feel like crap. It's 180 degrees from yesterday. The lesson here is that I will have these days, and they can come on unexpectedly, and, like everything else, this too shall pass.
The day started out great. The kids are on spring break, so the nanny is coming early and my mornings are a breeze. Just get myself out the door, and done! Yay!
But I got a call less than an hour after I started. My 10-year-old had a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. You have no idea how we have battled nosebleeds with this child. And he gets gnarly ones - he has even bled out his eyes many times. Needless to say, they are near-hysteria inducing for him.
So. Never mind the fact that we have taken him to the doctor and even the ER a million times for nosebleeds and nothing can be done. Never mind the fact that he was signed up for expensive paintball camp today and has been looking forward to it for weeks. Never mind the fact that I have no vacation or sick leave time at work.
He was ADAMANT that I come home and take him to a doctor. His stress level was just absolutely through the roof.
Sigh. I left work, called the ENT and begged to be seen, came home and picked him up while the nanny took the other two to the YMCA to work out. Thankfully, the ENT said he would cauterize some blood vessels that are very close to the surface of the skin. He also put my son on antibiotics to treat a possible sinus infection that may be making things worse.
So my son spent the day in pain and miserable and worried. I spent the day consoling him. And it is pouring down rain, and my son is perfecting the sick-man/baby attitude that will undoubtedly drive his poor wife insane. And telling my five year old not to roughhouse or wrestle his older brother is like telling him not to breath all day. And OMG could this tiny townhouse be ANY SMALLER?
I am a claustrophobic mess. And I feel fat, very fat. My period is RAGING - oh hello, has it been two weeks already??? I am not even one who usually craves chocolate during my period, but today I had to make a specific trip into the drugstore. Yay me for not succumbing to my original goal of INHALING a bag of Hershey's candy coated eggs (the bane of my existence this time of year) but instead trying a mere *two* sugar-free mini Reese's peanut butter cups! Yum, by the way. Satiated my craving and didn't make me feel like a failure. Did not even backhand said 10-year-old who said, sweetly, "mom you just had weight loss surgery, you shouldn't eat candy." Sigh.
No exercise. No sanity. Just me, a whiny/injured/scared boy, a wild out-of-control-mom's-home-let's-rock-the-Casbah boy, and my 12-year-old (no complaints here today, haha). Living out my dream of being the little old woman who lived in a shoe, so many children she didn't know what to do...
Better day, tomorrow. Better be. :) And I couldn't have really gained 49.9999999 pounds overnight, right? Right?
p.s. And I am very sad because I signed up for deep water aerobics last night and was *so* looking forward to going again tomorrow night. But my ex is out of town (his second of three vacations in three months - ahem - child support, anyone?) and I'm covering his days with the kids. I forgot my middle guy has an appointment tomorrow evening that would break his heart to miss. So I will have to miss water aerobics, which will break my heart. :( I think I'll pop a few vitamin Ds tonight and pray for a little relief tomorrow!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Skirting 50
I've lost 49.99999999 pounds. :) I am not calling the 50 pound mark yet because, well, I'm just that teensy bit off. I did, however, come out at work on Friday with a 50-pound loss, because some poor unfortunate friend had the misfortune to ask how much I've lost, and the fifty pound milestone was bubbling underneath the very, very surface, I guess! "FIFTY POUNDS!" I blurted.
Then, it must be 1.5-2 weeks later because of course I started spotting again - I think my hormones are OUTTA WHACK since the surgery. And my weight bounced up two pounds (I called that the "two pounds for lying" penalty, haha). And today, I'm back down to a mere fraction away from my milestone. Tomorrow, perhaps.
Today begins "Hell Week." Okay, maybe not that bad! My friend and I are going to run the stairs twice a day, so 2x400 stairs. We have already completed our morning workout. My incentive was not allowing myself to go get breakfast until I did it, haha.
Now, my buddy is out of the office on Wednesday and Friday, so those will be tough days. Will I make myself do the stair runs both days without her? YES I WILL! I was sort of planning on skipping them. She said she will try to work out at home, so I sort of half committed to myself to do the stairs without her. Then I read my friend 23imaginaryfriend's blog and she ran her first ever 15 miles the other day, even after her friend had to cancel at the last minute. Oh jeez. I guess I can hold myself accountable for working out, too. Pout. Stomp.
Next week, I have a lofty goal in mind. No elevators. Well - some elevators. I ride a lot of elevators. Parking garage to lobby, lobby to mid-building, mid-building to office. The lobby ride is from the 4th to 40th floors - we won't cut that one out, not for awhile, anyway. But I could cut out the parking garage elevator and the elevator to my floor, and give myself quite a stairclimbing boost. We'll see. That's what I have in mind, anyway.
This weekend, I took the kids on a whale watching tour. We had a great day! It was a verrrry long day, however, in the cold and rain. Five hours on the boat, two hours in a tiny town for lunch. We did get to see gray whales on the way back to Seattle. My first whale sightings! Great day with the kids. At one point, though, my five year old was running around on the boat with two other five year olds (I intentionally signed up for the Single Parents Trip through meetup.com, so there were lots of young kids on board.) I went to go after my son, but BOTH my feet had gotten looped under my daughter's bag strap on the floor. It was like my feet had been yanked out from under me. I went down straight and hard, like a tree. Loud. In the middle of the aisle, in the middle of a packed boat. It was not my finest moment. I was terribly embarrassed.You never want to be a fat chick who just fell. Bad enough if you're a skinny bitch who fell like I did, but as a fat chick, the embarrassment has to be amped up on the scale exponentially.
Anyway, I made a good recovery, was back on my feet in no time, smiling, and did not even kill my kid for running away. And at least I wasfifty pounds 49.999999999 pounds less embarrassed by it than I would have been in January. :)
p.s. - I am millimeters away from being able to fit into my size 14 pants. Well, maybe not millimeters, but close.
p.p.s. - Hi to all my readers and "followers" :) I love followers, I love following blogs (a little too much, actually, just ask my browser history). I notice that I have "23 imaginary friends," too! (That's the genesis of my friend's blog title - she calls blog buddies imaginary friends.) If you're a blogger and you're not on my list (it shows the 25 most recently updated blogs), by all means, let me know! I'd love to read yours!
p.p.p.s - Yay, we did both stair work outs today! Our AM time was 8:14, and our PM time was 7:58. This is great, considering we weren't going for time and we are still down significantly from last Monday's time of 8:58, when we were going for speed! We decided our Friday fastest time of 6:55 was too fast to shoot for right now, we're going to work on distance/endurance for awhile.
p.p.p.p.s - I should just graph our stair climbing times instead of geeking out about them all over the blog, haha.
Then, it must be 1.5-2 weeks later because of course I started spotting again - I think my hormones are OUTTA WHACK since the surgery. And my weight bounced up two pounds (I called that the "two pounds for lying" penalty, haha). And today, I'm back down to a mere fraction away from my milestone. Tomorrow, perhaps.
Today begins "Hell Week." Okay, maybe not that bad! My friend and I are going to run the stairs twice a day, so 2x400 stairs. We have already completed our morning workout. My incentive was not allowing myself to go get breakfast until I did it, haha.
Now, my buddy is out of the office on Wednesday and Friday, so those will be tough days. Will I make myself do the stair runs both days without her? YES I WILL! I was sort of planning on skipping them. She said she will try to work out at home, so I sort of half committed to myself to do the stairs without her. Then I read my friend 23imaginaryfriend's blog and she ran her first ever 15 miles the other day, even after her friend had to cancel at the last minute. Oh jeez. I guess I can hold myself accountable for working out, too. Pout. Stomp.
Next week, I have a lofty goal in mind. No elevators. Well - some elevators. I ride a lot of elevators. Parking garage to lobby, lobby to mid-building, mid-building to office. The lobby ride is from the 4th to 40th floors - we won't cut that one out, not for awhile, anyway. But I could cut out the parking garage elevator and the elevator to my floor, and give myself quite a stairclimbing boost. We'll see. That's what I have in mind, anyway.
This weekend, I took the kids on a whale watching tour. We had a great day! It was a verrrry long day, however, in the cold and rain. Five hours on the boat, two hours in a tiny town for lunch. We did get to see gray whales on the way back to Seattle. My first whale sightings! Great day with the kids. At one point, though, my five year old was running around on the boat with two other five year olds (I intentionally signed up for the Single Parents Trip through meetup.com, so there were lots of young kids on board.) I went to go after my son, but BOTH my feet had gotten looped under my daughter's bag strap on the floor. It was like my feet had been yanked out from under me. I went down straight and hard, like a tree. Loud. In the middle of the aisle, in the middle of a packed boat. It was not my finest moment. I was terribly embarrassed.You never want to be a fat chick who just fell. Bad enough if you're a skinny bitch who fell like I did, but as a fat chick, the embarrassment has to be amped up on the scale exponentially.
Anyway, I made a good recovery, was back on my feet in no time, smiling, and did not even kill my kid for running away. And at least I was
p.s. - I am millimeters away from being able to fit into my size 14 pants. Well, maybe not millimeters, but close.
p.p.s. - Hi to all my readers and "followers" :) I love followers, I love following blogs (a little too much, actually, just ask my browser history). I notice that I have "23 imaginary friends," too! (That's the genesis of my friend's blog title - she calls blog buddies imaginary friends.) If you're a blogger and you're not on my list (it shows the 25 most recently updated blogs), by all means, let me know! I'd love to read yours!
p.p.p.s - Yay, we did both stair work outs today! Our AM time was 8:14, and our PM time was 7:58. This is great, considering we weren't going for time and we are still down significantly from last Monday's time of 8:58, when we were going for speed! We decided our Friday fastest time of 6:55 was too fast to shoot for right now, we're going to work on distance/endurance for awhile.
p.p.p.p.s - I should just graph our stair climbing times instead of geeking out about them all over the blog, haha.
Friday, April 1, 2011
GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!
Stairclimbing goal, that is. :) The goal: 20 flights every day, Monday-Friday. After Monday's time, we decided to try to get to less than 7 minutes 30 seconds by Friday.
The week:
Monday 8:58
Tuesday 8:30
Wednesday 7:46
Thursday 7:40
FRIDAY 6:55
Wahoooo! Of course, the 6:55 was followed by 6:55 of laying at the top of the stairs swearing, crying and breathing heavy. I swear I thought I was going to puke after about the 15th flight. And even now, a little bit later, my lungs feel like they're on fire.
But we did it, we did it, we did it!
Next week is an abbreviated week. Spring break for the kids, so my buddy will be gone a couple days. Instead of speed, we've decided to focus on endurance. We're going to work on doing a morning and an afternoon run. We'll try it Monday! Our other focus will be to add additional flights, a couple flights at a time. Our building is 62 flights, we've got room to play with, haha.
The week:
Monday 8:58
Tuesday 8:30
Wednesday 7:46
Thursday 7:40
FRIDAY 6:55
Wahoooo! Of course, the 6:55 was followed by 6:55 of laying at the top of the stairs swearing, crying and breathing heavy. I swear I thought I was going to puke after about the 15th flight. And even now, a little bit later, my lungs feel like they're on fire.
But we did it, we did it, we did it!
Next week is an abbreviated week. Spring break for the kids, so my buddy will be gone a couple days. Instead of speed, we've decided to focus on endurance. We're going to work on doing a morning and an afternoon run. We'll try it Monday! Our other focus will be to add additional flights, a couple flights at a time. Our building is 62 flights, we've got room to play with, haha.
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