Overhunger Rectified

Oh dear, I should have made it back to the blog to post my photo update! And here I went to great pains to photograph my lunch before eating, haha. As you can see, I did pretty well. I chose the smallest container, I went heavy on the protein. Threw in a piece of fried zucchini, because, well, it's yummy. :)

Why Do You Do the Things that You Do?

I'm doing it again - one of those silly things that keep me on the path to ruin. I'm s-t-a-r-v-i-n-g. It's 1:45 p.m. and I have not eaten today. So, I am trying to talk myself down Hunger Hill. No, I do not need to have yummy pizza for lunch. I do not need a giant meal that will have me nodding off at my desk in an hour, writhing around with a bloated belly ache.

Silly Julie. This is one of the many problems I need to address. Over-hunger = bad news. I've long since passed the point of hunger, then famished, then starving. Nope, I'm on to full-blown shaky hands, nothing sounds good, perilously low blood sugar.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is reason #503 that I am obese. Err, morbidly obese. Overcompensation for going too long between meals, or eyes-bigger-than-my-stomach syndrome.

Let's see how I can rectify the situation and come back to blog. :)

New Connections!

Today at lunch, one of my bestest buddies mentioned I should talk to a friend of his (and fellow coworker of ours) about her experience with gastric bypass surgery. I jumped on it! I haven't gotten much chance to grill people in person about their experiences with WLS, haha. We work in the same building (it's a biggun, that building of ours) and were able to meet for a break this afternoon. Wonderful! Best yet, my new friend has blogged her experiences, which is the most inspirational and motivational tool for me right now. I love seeing before and after pictures, reading about ups and downs, personal struggles and triumphs. More later!

3rd Iron IV Infusion

Ok! I'm done with my third iron IV. Let's hope that my iron levels improve and stabilize, because the novelty of this procedure has worn off. :) Today I had to get stuck with the needle twice, and the second time was on the outside of my wrist. I have had three IVs in my hand/wrist before, and all of them have been extremely painful mo'fos. This one is no exception! Ouch. I must have more nerves in that area.

I'll go back on 12/20 for another ferritin level check. They will also be testing my B-12 levels with some advanced test. My overall B-12 is 300, with the range being 250 - 900 or thereabouts. If the advanced screening comes back with certain indicators, they'll start me on B-12 injections. I almost hope they do, as I'm really pretty intrigued with how these levels affect how I feel on a day to day basis. I find it so cool that I am actually waking up before the alarm clock every morning. Iron = good!

On the bad side, my feet and knees are really bugging me lately. Why? Winter? Weight gain from quitting smoking? Old age? My forty-first birthday draws nigh, after all. Anyway, I don't like that one bit.

I have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon on Friday morning. I will have to face my weight gain, which I think has at least stabilized. Oh well, I'm so very, very glad that I quit smoking! Tomorrow, I will miss the WLS support group, unfortunately. They are sampling a bunch of protein products. I would love to be there! That stuff is expensive, and any opportunity to try it for free would be wonderful. But instead, I will be at my daughter's cello concert - an extremely worthy reason to miss the support group meeting, I believe.

Follow-up: Iron IV Infusions

I just booked an appointment for my third IV iron infusion. I am so surprised! I had my blood work done yesterday, and my ferritin level was 28. This is down from my level of 48 at the time they did the second infusion (before the infusion, of course). I can't help but feel disappointed, but that's kind of a silly reaction. :) Bear with me. Since I'm coming up from an initial level of three - well, we're making leaps and bounds of progress. The nurse said my dwindling numbers aren't a reflection on any mischief my body is up to instead of making iron like it's supposed to. It can just sometimes take longer than expected to get the levels up and stabilized.

We are shooting for a level of 50. After I'm stabilized here, they'll put me on an oral iron supplement and continue to monitor my levels, as needed. On the plus side, at my current levels, I notice that I am feeling better and have a bit more energy. The most marked difference I've noticed is that I wake up before the alarm clock in the morning. This is a new thing, believe me!

I'm having the third IV infusion tomorrow afternoon. The hematologist did not test my vitamin D levels yesterday. Instead, they will have me take the higher dose of vitamin D once a week for two months and then re-test.

$45 for a Gallon of Milk

The gallon of milk I bought today cost me over $45. On Friday and Saturday, I took the kids to McDonald's for breakfast for no other reason than we were out of milk. On Friday morning, I realized my foolishness, but had to scramble to get the kids off to school. By Saturday morning, there was nothing I could offer in terms of an excuse: just add another $25 to the cost of the milk.

No, by this morning, I still had not bought milk. And to think that I had held off sending one of the kids to the gas station to buy the $6 gallon of milk in order to "save money." And that's awfully good milk, too, although the price is o.u.t.r.a.g.e.o.u.s. Our gas station sells the brand of dairy products the milk man brings to you door: local, hormone-free, antibiotic free, etc, etc.

But don't let me turn my ample skills in diversion and distraction change the topic from a bazillion dollars in fast-food over a lack of desire to go to the grocery store. And...it's Christmas...and I am a single mom...and my ex and I are not sharing cost on Christmas prezzies for the kids this year...and, did I mention there are three of them...and, let me just say wasting money on McDonald's is one of the stupider things I can do right now!

Something I'm hoping to gain from the surgery, and it's not weight, haha: endurance. Stamina. I confess, I usually shop when the kids are with their dad. This week, they are with me, and so...no grocery shopping. I hate taking my children into a store. My 11yo daughter is no problem. It's my boys, 9.5 and 5. Argh. So, when I am exhausted from work, which is not going well, exhausted from dealing with my 5yo, who is raising hell at school and daycare, and just physically and mentally exhausted, in general...well, you can see it in my household management. Messy house, out of staple foods.

By taking off weight, I'm hoping to capitalize on some energy. I know that my physical pain will lessen: feet and knees won't ache as much, etc. That will be good. But I'm hoping that life won't be such a damn chore. I tell you, after a long day volunteering yesterday and then taking the boys to a fun event, I am beat down today. The boys were horrible at Target (where I did pick up all our staple foods, haha). Horrible. We are going to a Christmas pageant of sorts tonight, and I am dreading it. The house is a mess, the kids are hungry, and I am just draggggggginnnngggg trying to get back on task.

Deep Breaths

Looking at protein and diet as objectively as possible. Tonight, I checked my daughter's BMI: it's 39.8. Much better than how I had guesstimated it, but still pretty shocking, especially for such a young girl. She and I have agreed that she can continue a vegetarian diet, but will be held accountable for increasing protein intake. We will be finding more tofu recipes that she enjoys, finding ways to jazz up our soft tacos at home, she is going to try one of my favorite combos - pineapple and cottage cheese. She will continue to have a protein shake for breakfast in the morning, and we will work on her bringing lunch from home. When she doesn't, she will have the yogurt/cheese stick/muffin lunch combo on most days.

We are both going to work on keeping a food diary. Hers will be so I can track her protein intake and double-check that she is taking her vitamins. After my low iron level scare, I became pretty vigilant about her taking a daily multi-vitamin with iron. It's hard to stay on top of that every day (harder still because I am so awful at remembering to take medications and supplements, myself).

I'm feeling less stressed about it this evening, but definitely feeling an urgent need to get this family on track. Being a single parent is so darn difficult sometimes. I've got great kids, but there are three of them, and they are young, and my boys have been particularly time consuming with their own issues lately. I feel like I'm struggling to keep everything moving forward. I'll continue to work on my organization and family schedules to try to lighten the demand on myself.

Daily Protein Requirements

The plot thickens! My surgeon says to plan on a goal of 60 grams of protein per day following surgery. In the short-term liquid diet phase following the operation, this will be accomplished with protein shakes. My favorite brand has 30 grams of protein per shake. That will take care of at least the first two weeks following my GSV. But what's a girl to do after that? I am really hoping not to rely on protein shakes: I like food, and I want to be able to enjoy it for the rest of my life. But I will take the recommendations on how to make the most of my surgery and weight loss/maintenance very seriously, too.

Your body needs a lot of protein! This page on about.com says that "the standard method used by nutritionists to estimate our minimum daily protein requirement is to multiply the body weight in kilograms by .8, or weight in pounds by .37." Uhhh, according to that formula, I should be taking in upwards of 90 grams of protein a day.

Ninety grams of protein is:
- 39 oz, or 2.5 bricks of tofu; or
- 4.5 cups of beans; or
- 15 eggs; or
- 2.25 cans of tuna; or
- 14 oz of fish; or
- you get the idea.

Funny, I have never really thought about how much protein I take in during a given day. As we saw from yesterday's lunch, my meal selection naturally tends to be a mix of a little of everything, including good sources of protein.

However - when you think about the "meal the size of the palm of your hand" and "60+ grams of protein a day," I can see it will get a little complicated! Protein shakes, protein powder and protein bullets are going to have to round out my diet, I believe.

Where I'm a little concerned right now is with my daughter. She's eleven, and has a BMI of probably 61. OMG. That brought tears to my eyes just typing it. My family's health is in crisis mode. Plus, she insists on being vegetarian, so getting protein into her...well, it's hard. She won't eat fish, she isn't wild about tofu, eggs or beans...

Ahh, I'm kind of having a reality crisis just writing this post. Wow. Thinking about my protein needs and how I'm going to manage them pre- and post- surgery has led to a real bucket of cold water on my head about just how terribly I'm managing this whole issue for my family.

And you were here, live, to see it. Now back to our regular programming, already in progress. Yikes.

Much thinking to do. This is why I write - it is therapeutic, cathartic, and seems to be the only way I can think. Doh.

The Size of My Palm x How High?

Bahaha, I am thinking about lunch. I've decided to focus my efforts on eliminating gluten from my diet and limiting meal size to roughly the size of the palm of my hand.

What to eat, what to eat? No, I did not transform into Super Organized Woman and bring my lunch from home today. So I'll be wandering over to the local food court with a friend of mine. I was thinking about rice with peanut sauce, or what she and I call the "Two dollar lunch." It's not on the menu, but the thai place will sell you a scoop of rice and a ladle of peanut sauce for about $1.60. The "One dollar sixty cent lunch" doesn't roll off the tongue, though, hence the "two dollar lunch."

So, the two dollar lunch actually comes pretty close to fitting on the palm of my hand. But it's a pretty tall pile. :) And there's no protein in it, either. Or is there? Peanut sauce - hmm, peanut butter = protein. Not much, though, I'd say. Here's a recipe from cooks.com:

2 tablespoons smooth peanut butter

2 tablespoons soy sauce
1-2 cloves garlic, minced or chopped
1/4 cup water
1 tablespoon brown sugar
juice from half a lemon (can be less, depending on your tastes)

I say this needs some chili oil for kick. Google tells me there's about 8 grams of protein in 2T of peanut butter. I'm supposed to be shooting for 60 grams of protein per day. This isn't going to cut it! This amazingly cool website http://www.wolframalpha.com/ says there's 8 grams of protein in 3 ounces of tofu.
 
Clearly, I'm going to have to spend a lot more time thinking about how to up my protein intake...

Why Am I Fat? And Broke?

Hmm, another lunch purchased instead of brought from home. And while it is pretty - I was thinking about it on the way back up to my office. It weighed a damn bit more than the 2-4 oz my surgically-altered stomach will be able to hold!

Well, on the good side, it's got plenty of protein. That's fried tofu in teriyaki-type sauce, tuna salad and a few pieces of salmon hiding under the bok choy. I am aware of the fact that if your lunch plate is hiding other items on the plate, well, there is too much food on the plate. You see that I have lapsed in my no-soy, no-dairy, no-gluten experiment. There's a little bit of macaroni and cheese (can you hear it screaming "comfort food!" from there, I wonder?), some breaded and fried zucchini, some veggie fried rice, broccoli in soy sauce, and the baby bok choy. Uh, I think that's all that was hidden there.

This combo, plus a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper, was $11.25. Ok. Maybe we could play a little "What's Wrong with this Picture?" game!

1. Fried, really? Tofu and zucchini?
2. Pasta and breading on the zucchini = not gluten free.
3. Tofu = soy. I'm not too concerned about that one, really. I know I am lactose intolerant, I know I am probably gluten intolerant, but I have no reason to believe I am soy intolerant. Jeez.
4. Mac n Cheese = dairy
5. Where in the heck do I think I've got $$ for an $11.25 lunch hiding??
6. The principle behind gastric sleeve surgery is that you can live on 2-4 oz at a meal. This lunch was that amount, many times over. With or without surgery, I can live on 2-4 oz. The surgeon said basically, after recovery, it's the amount of food that would fit in the palm of your hand. Fingers excluded, haha.
7. As an example of the mindset I need to correct. There was one more piece of tofu and one more piece of zucchini in the lunch before I took the picture. I got back to my desk and realized I had misplaced my iPhone! I got a little panicky. I was already hungry to the point of being out of sorts, not being able to find my phone pushed me even farther. So I sat down and ate a little bit before looking for (and finding) my phone.
1. Don't let yourself get so hungry that you are physically goofed up from it.
2. Uhh, watch the stress eating and eating to calm down, haha.
3. This whole meal and experience sort of sums up many problems I've got going in my life. PeeWee's word of the day is OVERCONSUMPTION.